Chapter: 344
I was completely at a loss for words at the Patriarch’s bombshell declaration. Considering my previous knowledge and experience, you’d think he’d be the one happy about getting a title, even if he felt a bit flustered about it.
During our last winter break at the territory, I did notice that the Patriarch wasn’t as cold as I thought; he showed a warm side to Mother among other surprising qualities. But this statement was far beyond mere surprises.
For nearly 300 years, the Imperial Counts have been loyal footsoldiers of the Imperial Family. While Count Tailglehen isn’t one of the original Imperial Counts appointed by the Great Alexander, his son’s appointment during the reign of Alexander II marks a long history of loyalty.
“You have already fulfilled your duty and obligation. No one can demand more sacrifice from you.”
And yet, here was the loyal subject talking about forgoing loyalty to his successor, who should take over as the Imperial Count.
‘What on earth?’
I was baffled. I could never have imagined such a thing happening. Is he fishing for a response? Did he get a command to check if I had any grievances?
Neither the Emperor nor the Patriarch would be clumsy enough to test me this way, but still, it’s more likely the Patriarch was hinting than it was a genuine inquiry.
“There’s no need to think too complicatedly. This is what a Patriarch says to his heir.”
As if sensing my confusion, the Patriarch spoke softly.
But hearing that made me go even crazier. Are you serious? This isn’t a test, but heartfelt advice?
“Thank you for your words, but I don’t see it as a sacrifice. Isn’t it an honor to answer the Emperor’s summons as a noble of the Empire?”
Eventually, after thinking it over, I blurted out the most conventional and formal reply. When at a loss for words, a standard answer works best.
“No, it is indeed a sacrifice.”
But the Patriarch seemed determined as he detonated another bomb.
“The Inspection Department, responsible for domestic affairs, has headed to the North. You, a mere official, have swung your sword on the frontline. You killed the rebels who threatened the Empire and its mandate. If this isn’t a sacrifice, then what is?”
Saying that, the Patriarch quietly closed his eyes. His brows slightly furrowed, as though he was pulling up memories he’d rather forget.
“The Krasius family has always been loyal. Our ancestors worked hard to repay the Imperial Family’s kindness, and that kindness has always yielded rewards. No one has neglected their duty and devotion.”
I knew that. That history of loyalty was something the Patriarch took pride in, and it was something he always emphasized to me and Erich.
So that’s why it didn’t make sense. The Patriarch, who used to shout loyalty, loyalty, and even more loyalty, was now saying this.
“And you and I have also done our utmost. The Krasius family has repaid the Imperial Family more than we received.”
At those firm words, I was left speechless once more.
*
Kefellofen wore a face filled with bewilderment. I understood. What I said was contrary to the mindset I had drilled into him and Erich until now.
But saying it was a necessary statement. It was better for me to go back on my words than to send this kid, who was just regaining his stability, back to the battlefield.
‘It was necessary loyalty.’
After all, the relationship between the Imperial Family and the Imperial Count family began as a contract. To stabilize the extremely fragile imperial power in the early days of the founding, the Imperial Family needed direct vassals, and many of the Imperial Counts’ ancestors sought to align with them for their political standing. That was the start of 300 years of loyalty.
Of course, both the Imperial Family and the Imperial Counts have now established solid positions, leaving little reason for either to sever ties. If they did, it would label them as “an untrustworthy party who burned a 300-year relationship.”
Thus, our relationship remained a solid contract. It was beneficial to remain loyal, and by doing so, everyone stood to gain.
‘This isn’t a relationship that sacrifices you.’
But I couldn’t voice that. What kind of nerve would I, a father who has offered no help in his life, have to say that?
I had no right to worry about Kefellofen. I could only hint at the choice he should make.
“So there’s no need to overextend yourself. If you decline the title, the Emperor won’t force you into action.”
It was half a wish, but it carried a possibility as well.
The Emperor had already put in some effort for this operation. If someone at the upper echelons like Kefellofen refused the title with a good excuse, it would be awkward for the Emperor to take further steps.
Of course, the Krasius family would need to fill in the gap left by Kefellofen, but we could handle that. It made more sense to use the family’s capabilities than to push his son into war.
“You’re not alone anymore, are you?”
After a brief hesitation, I cautiously added that.
Right, Kefellofen wasn’t alone anymore. Although he lost friends and a lover in the last war, he fortunately found new connections again. He started to slowly lessen the burdens of the scars he held inside.
There was no way I could send this kid, who had lost everything, back into that hell again. It would be unforgivable for both him and the new connections he made.
“Patriarch.”
After a period of silence, Kefellofen finally spoke.
But the look on his face wasn’t a good sign. It showed emotions other than confusion and bewilderment.
“Thank you for your advice.”
If he was truly just deciding to follow my suggestion, he wouldn’t have that determined look.
“I know well that our ancestors splendidly repaid the Imperial Family’s kindness. The Patriarch, of course, and I believe I have done my part as well.”
I nearly sighed. People who merely agree before stating their own thoughts are quite rare among nobles. This current agreement seemed more like a courtesy to save face before stating his own desires.
“That said, while the Patriarch’s assertion that there is no further need for sacrifice may hold some truth, I genuinely do not see it as such.”
Just like right now.
“I have to go to the North not out of devotion or duty, but for myself. There’s a knot I need to untie with my own hands there.”
“Must you go yourself? The Emperor does not take this northern expedition lightly. Countless troops will head north, and brave knights and mages will stand before them. The impostors who dare call themselves khans will eventually fall at the Empire’s blade.”
With that, I tried to persuade Kefellofen again. If he were to refuse, I wouldn’t simply say “Alright.” I was speaking against everything I had taught him until now, determined to get him out of this situation.
Besides, this northern expedition wasn’t precariously balanced on just one absence. The Emperor would appoint the Vice Captain as the commander, and countless adversaries and legion commanders would be mobilized. By sheer scale, it wouldn’t be lacking compared to the previous wars.
That large-scale expedition would move forward without Kefellofen. It surely would.
“I know. The Emperor has personally proclaimed the conquest of the North, assembling a unity of devoted nobles to follow. The Empire will clearly achieve victory, even without my presence.”
“Then why—”
“A victory without me would mean nothing.”
His firm answer left me momentarily stunned.
A victory without his presence means nothing? Is he yearning to inscribe his name in history? It wasn’t like him to have such an egotistical desire. Or perhaps he believes only he can bring down the North? No, that doesn’t seem right either.
“I must end this catastrophe that was left unresolved three years ago despite the countless sacrifices. That is the obligation I must fulfill as someone who could not die alone.”
Those were unsettling words. I didn’t understand why he was speaking about obligation. Why would this child, who seemed to have already finished the war, now speak as if he had a duty to fulfill?
And what does it mean to say he could not die alone—
‘…It still hasn’t healed.’
It dawned on me late. I finally understood why Kefellofen wanted to serve.
“Your sin is not yours.”
Saying that made his eyes widen as if he’d heard something unexpected.
“It was a tragic circumstance. Indeed, a truly unfortunate event. But you must not carry the burden of guilt.”
At that, Kefellofen fell silent for a moment before speaking in a low voice with a thin smile.
“I do think so.”
That response hinted at how deep his wounds might be.
*
I stared blankly at the spot where the Patriarch had been.
I was a little, no, very surprised. I never imagined I would hear such words from the Patriarch.
“And you and I have also done our utmost. The Krasius family has repaid the Imperial Family more than we received.”
“You’re not alone anymore, right?”
“It’s not your sin.”
‘Hah.’
I felt an empty laugh escape me. How can I feel so touched hearing the Patriarch’s sincere words?
I always thought he was someone who prioritizes family prosperity, loyalty to the Imperial Family, and glory for the Empire above all else. Given my memories, of course, the Patriarch I met after my reincarnation felt like that too, so I never questioned it.
Perhaps I didn’t want to realize that he was more than that.
After all, I defined the Patriarch as someone like that. I thought I shouldn’t care about the personality of someone who wasn’t really my family.
‘Maybe I just wanted to believe that.’
The bias that the Patriarch was cold and unfeeling was shattered last winter when he gladly turned into a treasure goblin for the presents from the potential brides and got ripped off when he went fishing behind his wife’s back. How could I call someone like that mechanical?
I could’ve caught on back during last year’s memorial service. When he urged Erich not to rush and to take his time to train. If I had contemplated further back then, I could’ve grasped the Patriarch’s true feelings.
But I didn’t. I blinded my eyes and closed my heart. I didn’t want to know more about the Patriarch.
‘If the Patriarch is a good person, I’d be a scoundrel who stole a son from a good father.’
I didn’t have the courage to draw that conclusion. Now, I couldn’t deny it anymore.
“It was a tragic circumstance. Indeed, a truly unfortunate event. But you must not carry the burden of guilt.”
“I’m going insane.”
As soon as the Patriarch’s words resurfaced in my mind, I muttered to myself.
Hearing that from my biological father made my heart waver uncomfortably. It shouldn’t be like this.
‘…Should I just go take a breather?’
With a sigh, I stood up.
Before heading north, there was a place I absolutely had to visit.
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