Chapter: 31
“Can you be my friend?” Silvia said cautiously.
This was the moment I had longed for since falling into this world.
It was the kind of situation where, back in my original world, I wouldn’t have even dared to talk to a beautiful girl like her, let alone become friends.
I wanted to scream in joy and dance a little jig.
I smiled and nodded my head.
Silvia beamed as if that made her incredibly happy.
Looking at her smile, I felt joy and happiness swell inside me.
Every time I saw Silvia at school, those feelings would rise up.
So it was decided.
I pushed all the other feelings into a corner of my mind.
To avoid thinking about them, to avoid acknowledging them.
Yet, while desperately trying to suppress the flames that wanted to flare up, I smiled widely.
*
After class, I stopped by the infirmary to have my left hand treated by the school nurse.
“I told you not to strain your hand too much!”
As expected, I got a lecture, but I simply listened quietly, knowing I deserved it.
Fortunately, the injury didn’t appear to be severe, and the treatment was quick.
It was almost miraculous that I only had minor injuries after blocking a metal sign falling from above with my hand.
In a lesser physical state, it wouldn’t have been surprising if my left arm had been shattered.
After tossing the blood-stained bandage and wrapping a new one around my hand, I left school.
Anyway, it was a joyful day since I had finally become friends with Silvia.
I walked home with light steps.
Climbing the stairs, I opened the door to my small room and stepped inside.
Then I closed the door with a bang.
At that moment, the emotions I had been forcefully pushing into a corner began to bounce back.
My hands trembled.
I threw my bag onto the bed and started tossing my clothes off with shaking hands.
Quick, quick!
In my haste, my hands trembled even more.
After stripping down, I tried to unwrap the newly bandaged hand.
However, the school nurse had wrapped it even tighter as a warning, so it took longer than expected.
Eventually, halfway through, I dashed into the bathroom.
I turned the lever, and as water poured from the shower, flames burst from my body at the same time.
The cascade of water met the flames, turning into steam that filled the bathroom.
Oh no, I can’t breathe!
I couldn’t tell if it was because of the steam filling the bathroom or the emotions stirring in my chest.
*
When I first fell into this world, I was confused but quickly thought about how to survive as long as possible.
The first thought that entered my mind was to stick close to Yoon Si-woo.
Yet, recalling the narrative of [The Sacred Sword of the Academy], I realized that was a futile thought.
Maybe that would have worked early on, but as the story progressed, Yoon Si-woo became the center of various incidents.
And while he fought against adversities, those around him died for various reasons.
Whether they were sacrifices for the protagonist’s awakening or to heighten the drama, I didn’t know the author’s intent, but even characters I thought were safe died mercilessly.
However, just distancing myself from him did not ensure my survival either.
In a world where Yoon Si-woo, possessing exceptional abilities, was absent, countless deadly threats lurked.
Yet, there was one character who survived regardless of whether they were beside the protagonist or not.
That was Silvia Astra.
With her outstanding appearance and being right next to Yoon Si-woo, she was recognized as one of the heroine candidates early on and became the main heroine primarily because she survived.
One cannot call a deceased heroine the main heroine.
So, I thought the best way to survive was to stay close to Silvia and avoid Yoon Si-woo.
Fortunately, since I was in the same class as her, it naturally facilitated our friendship.
I poured all my effort into this plan, believing it to be my only lifeline.
I learned that Silvia really loved macarons, and she desired a friend who wouldn’t want anything from her, unlike those who tried to use her from a young age.
That was about all the useful information I had, but it was enough.
There were two things I needed to be mindful of.
I had to convey my desire to be her friend while giving her macarons without asking for anything else.
I also needed to control my thoughts so that Yoon Si-woo, the bearer of the Sword of Truth, wouldn’t feel anything amiss.
The Sword of Truth could only determine the veracity of words or expressions.
If I firmly believed that my words were true, even if my true feelings were different, the Sword of Truth would confirm them as true. I knew this from the original story, so deceiving wasn’t difficult.
Thus, every time I saw Silvia, I put aside other thoughts and focused solely on how beautiful she was and how I wanted to be her friend.
Given that I was used to hiding my struggles and pretending to be okay, that wasn’t challenging at all.
However, every time I saw her slowly opening up to me, I realized it wasn’t so simple.
Somehow, my plan to become friends with Silvia through Yoon Si-woo was interfered with, but I remembered that Leonore sometimes contacted Silvia, and I came up with a new plan.
I decided to invite Leonore to my home to let her know I was making homemade macarons for Silvia.
In truth, looking up how to make macarons online was simple.
However, I was convinced that given Leonore’s nosy personality portrayed in the original story, she would end up sharing stories about me with Silvia.
Knowing Silvia, I thought it was impossible for her to refuse the macarons after hearing about me.
And the plan was an enormous success.
In the end, I succeeded in becoming friends with Silvia.
I felt happy and relieved.
But even more than that, I was so angry I couldn’t contain it.
Angry at myself for watching as countless people died for my survival.
Angry at myself for only wanting to take advantage of this kind person who saw me as a friend.
Angry at myself for acting just like the very kind of people I loathed.
And it was disgusting to feel joy and relief amid all that anger.
I was furious, yet I lacked the courage to choose a different path.
*
After standing under the shower for a while, the flames emanating from my body finally subsided.
I turned off the shower and opened the bathroom door.
The steam that had filled the room spilled out, making my vision hazy.
Through the blurred vision, I could see the narrow room.
My school uniform was scattered on the floor.
Amidst the confusion, a band-aid decorated with a bear had fallen, probably slipped from my pocket.
Unintentionally sitting on the floor, I grasped the band-aid in my hand.
Gasp… I suffocated.
It was all my choice, yet—
Now I couldn’t even tell what I wanted anymore.
“…It’s hard.”
I murmured to myself.
My blurred vision wavered.
Drops of water dripped onto the floor, filling the silence.
Suddenly, on a whim, I opened the refrigerator.
Inside, I saw the ingredients for macarons, bean sprouts, and huddled in a corner, some chocolate.
The chocolate given to me by the class president.
“When things get tough, eat this.”
She had told me that and handed it to me, and now it had melted in my pocket, forming an ugly shape.
Despite knowing better, I slowly began to unwrap the stubborn chocolate and popped it into my mouth.
It was sweet.
So sweet that I involuntarily grimaced.
There were still chocolates left in the refrigerator given by the class president.
But even one was already enough for me.
Just as the class president said, sweetness returned a bit of strength to my body.
I owed her this much; I should repay it.
I changed into my pajamas, tidied up my uniform lying on the floor, and opened the window.
The steam that had filled the room slowly drifted out.
Through the escaping steam, I could see the street outside.
Although I was only on the second floor and the view wasn’t fantastic, I could see people in the streets.
It was peaceful, and I liked that.
With the steam escaping, I felt my mind clearing up.
I prepared dinner and lay down on my bed.
Though I could still feel my hands trembling a little, I didn’t interlace my fingers.
*
The next morning, I woke up early, made macarons, had breakfast, and set off for school ahead of time.
When I opened the door to the staff room, I spotted Eve, who seemed particularly down today.
For both the class president and Eve—
That was the only way a coward like me could repay my debt.
I approached her and opened my mouth.
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