Chapter 228
Above my head, I could still hear the Crown Prince’s sobbing, but I didn’t lift my gaze. To be precise, I couldn’t bring myself to look up.
Even if I apologized, did I not want to see her face? No, that wasn’t it. Honestly, the moment I caught sight of the Crown Prince’s pitiful state, my resolve wavered. When she laid aside her pride to apologize, even the faint remnants of my resentment faded away.
How could I possibly hate her when she was so candidly apologizing without any excuses or self-justifications?
‘This is unfair.’
I even found myself thinking that. Of all times, she began apologizing while I was cleaning her feet. It was tragically pitiful, really.
No matter how clean the roads of the Academy may be, they weren’t exactly safe for someone walking barefoot. Besides, without her magic, the Crown Prince was just a weak woman who hadn’t trained at all.
So, I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. If I saw her now, I’d probably get angry for a whole different reason. I’d want to shout at her: Why in the world was she roaming around like this? Did she think I would like this kind of display?
Then she would start crying again and say she was sorry. It was all too predictable.
“Your Grace.”
I took a deep breath and finally lifted my head. I saw the Crown Prince sobbing like a child. A wave of different emotions surged within me.
“…May I have the comb, please?”
But I quickly suppressed that urge. It would be too harsh to get angry at someone who had just apologized.
Upon hearing my request, the Crown Prince turned pale and shook her head.
“Ah, dear, this is… this is…”
She held the comb she cherished even tighter, as if pleading that I wouldn’t take it away, as if it was the one thing she wanted to keep.
“I’m not asking you to return it. You need to comb your hair, right?”
Letting out a small sigh at her miserable appearance, I realized that even in a state of anger, I shouldn’t take back a gift I had given. Besides, I had calmed down enough by now.
I just wanted to comb her hair. Sure, I’d cleaned the dirt away earlier, but her hair, which once boasted of silkiness, remained a chaotic mess.
Fortunately, it seemed my suggestion calmed her down, as she cautiously handed over the comb. She kept glancing around, clearly worried.
“It’ll take a little while.”
I settled behind the Crown Prince and gathered her hair together.
Even from a glance, it was long, but when I collected it, it was even more impressive.
“It’s fine. Just relax, okay?”
As I held her hair, I noticed her ears, which had been drooped, perked up slightly.
…Let’s just pretend I didn’t see that.
Silence enveloped us. Now, there were no more sounds of sniffling or apologies.
Only the sounds of the comb brushing through hair and strands of hair sliding against the blanket could be barely heard.
‘It’s so soft.’
The quiet felt so profound that it led to unnecessary thoughts. But it was truly silky to the touch.
With how soft it was, it only took a few brushes to get it organized. I found the task progressing far faster than I had anticipated.
Was it because the Crown Prince took good care of her hair, or was it an elven trait?
“Huh…!”
As my hand brushed near her ears, a soft sound escaped her lips, followed by her ears suddenly flapping about energetically.
“I’m still angry, you know.”
Upon hearing that, they promptly drooped again.
Of course, that was a lie. I wasn’t feeling mad at all. To begin with, you rarely find someone who declares “I’m mad!” and is genuinely upset.
I was just feeling a bit spiteful. Although I might have forgiven her, my emotions remained jumbled. It was confusing whether to easily let go and forgive her or not. Meanwhile, the Crown Prince’s emotional expressions were working overtime, which only fueled my annoyance.
What a childish act. One that shouldn’t have been repeated.
“Why did you say that?”
I continued to comb her hair and spoke calmly.
“You could have at least made some excuses.”
Yet the content of my words carried more weight than the calm delivery. Deep down, I wanted to hear the words I so desired from the Crown Prince herself.
“You could’ve said it was for my sake, that I’d appreciate it after calming down.”
Longevity. In many ways, it could be seen as a blessing. Especially those with wealth and prestige could wish for nothing more.
The Crown Prince could have said that. That I was acting overly emotional and once I calmed down, I would appreciate her intentions.
“Or you could have said you were too sad, that you didn’t want to lose me.”
Alternatively, she could’ve appealed to my affection. That she loved me so much she didn’t want to lose me, that she couldn’t bear the thought of spending hundreds of years without me.
Had she said that, I might have been taken aback. Just as I didn’t want to lose those I was connected with, the Crown Prince likely didn’t want to lose me either.
“…Why did you not make any excuses at all?”
Yet still, the Crown Prince chose none of those. She simply continued to say she was sorry, she was wrong.
“I wanted to be honest.”
And without hesitation, she answered.
“Since I already deceived you, I said nothing to you. I didn’t want to do that again.”
Her voice carried a mixture of self-loathing and dejection.
Although I couldn’t see her face from my angle, I could tell it likely wasn’t a pleasant one.
“Asking for your forgiveness while doing such a thing would be just wrong…”
The Crown Prince’s head began to bow further. Her shoulders trembled slightly.
“I can’t claim to be in pain when I’ve hurt you.”
The message was clear: she felt she had no right to appeal for sympathy from me.
That was why she didn’t speak about longevity. She didn’t mention that had she not used the potion, I should have gone first.
“…I’m really sorry. I’m sorry…”
Once again, the Crown Prince repeated her apologies. But this time, it wasn’t a sob-ridden, pleading apology. It felt like a resignation of sorts, as if she had finally let go of something.
“I was so selfish. I loved you, yet I failed to consider you.”
The Crown Prince slowly turned her body.
Tears that had just barely stopped trickled down her face once more, a faint smile graced her lips.
“I was greedy. I met someone I loved more than anyone in the world, yet I couldn’t be satisfied with just that; I wanted to spend a lifetime with you.”
The Crown Prince was definitely smiling, yet she was crying. She was clearly shedding tears, yet she was smiling.
It was a confusing sight right in front of my eyes, one that was undeniably visible but perplexingly contradictory.
“Even if you don’t forgive me, even if you vow never to see me again, that’s my fault. You made the right choice.”
As I fell into confusion, the Crown Prince smiled wider, her tears flowing even more.
“Still, will you allow me to watch you from afar, just to hold you in my heart?”
Then she added softly, “If I can see you for a few decades, I wouldn’t mind not being around for the hundreds of years after that.”
‘Damn it.’
Immediately upon hearing those words, I stood up. If I didn’t ease my heart after hearing something like that, I really wasn’t human anymore.
After witnessing the Crown Prince show such earnestness, I should also show an appropriate response.
“Ah, dear?”
The moment I stood up, the Crown Prince blinked in surprise.
Seeing her expression made my heart ache, but I averted my gaze, opening a nearby drawer. If my memory served me right, it should be in there.
‘Found it.’
Fortunately, just as I remembered, it was there. It seemed like the servants hadn’t cleaned it out during their tidying up.
Inside the drawer were about three potion bottles clustered together. They were pulled out specifically for summer break, but I had forgotten to take them back and had shoved them back in the drawer.
I never thought my forgetfulness would produce such a return.
“Your Grace.”
“Why, what’s wrong?”
Upon seeing my serious expression, even holding the potion, the Crown Prince stuttered, clearly nervous.
Looking at her flustered face, I took a swig from the potion.
“…You mentioned that it would take 40 years to see any effects, right?”
I sighed lightly. I wondered if this was the right choice, but honestly, I didn’t think any better options would come to mind by digging deeper.
“There’s still plenty of time. Let’s think about it together until then.”
Whether to match my lifespan to the Crown Prince’s or to find another way altogether.
“So stop with the nonsense about watching from afar.”
She must have studied only the most sentimental lines; it’s truly maddening.
With a sigh escaping my lips, the Crown Prince stared at me blankly before bursting into tears again.
And I quietly pulled her into an embrace. There was no point in pushing her away now, especially since I had only made her cry more out of anger.
“I’m sorry too, Your Grace. I lashed out in the magic tower when I was feeling angry and didn’t mean a word of it.”
At that, the Crown Prince cried even more sadly.
My past faults, my circumstances, were truly weighing heavily on me.
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