Chapter 20
What must the first person to see the ocean have felt?
I don’t quite know.
But I wonder if it was similar to what I felt when I confronted my own emotions.
From a distance, the ocean was just a beautiful, blue, and clear mysterious entity.
My emotions weren’t much different.
To my past self, emotions were “something.”
Of course, I don’t think my past self was miserable for not feeling emotions at all.
That was merely a simple ailment, a form of being different.
It was unfamiliar, perhaps I didn’t feel the necessity…
Or maybe I didn’t feel the need to change, which is why I avoided it.
But isn’t that the case?
Just because one wants to avoid emotions or claims they don’t want to feel them, doesn’t mean they can’t.
Naturally, humans tend to express themselves, as if it were only natural.
So, at some point, I was gradually approaching my emotions.
One step after another.
And then, I dipped my ankles into the ocean water that washed ashore.
It was so cold and unfamiliar.
Though still not accustomed to it, I gradually began to understand.
The reflection of myself in the water.
“Alright, let’s check it out.”
As Director Gong Jung-tae spoke, I swallowed hard.
My heart went thump-thump.
Until now, I had never felt scared when checking my performances.
It was a part of my daily routine, just how things were.
Even if everyone applauded my acting, it was ultimately a performance that a child couldn’t truly deliver.
They only applauded for how closely I mimicked emotions resembling reality.
Acting.
Yeah, looking back, it was acting after all.
From the very beginning, I played the characters that others wanted.
But that was just it.
For veteran actors or those who could present even more, it was expected capability.
I could merely create it effortlessly and unconsciously like a habit.
So it was as natural as breathing, without any specialness.
And without any sense of accomplishment.
“Lady Daebi!!”
A familiar yet foreign voice of mine resounded as the scene began.
I stared, forgetting even to blink.
No, it wasn’t just me.
Director Gong Jung-tae, the staff members,
And actors Yoon Jong-hyuk and Jung Eun-sun.
Everyone was watching their own performances in one spot.
Until the moment Princess Yeonhwa left the room and the door closed.
“Wow.”
As soon as the video ended, cinematographer Heo Jung-soo exclaimed in awe.
“We filmed it, but it’s really stunning. If you look here, I…”
“Indeed. The moment Sera raised her head, the light shift was excellent.”
The originally bright light temporarily dimmed the moment Sera lifted her head.
As a result, Sera’s red eyes became even more vibrant.
This part deviated somewhat from what Director Gong Jung-tae had initially asked for.
It could be considered a more tasteful improvisation from cinematographer Heo Jung-soo.
“…But did this reflect off the oil lamp? No, anyone who saw it would think it was CGI.”
Director Gong Jung-tae said this while inspecting my eyes.
Unlike in the video, my pupils were tinged with brown, closer to red.
Thanks to that, Director Gong Jung-tae observed my face with a puzzled expression before breaking into a chuckle.
My face must have looked quite different than usual.
“Sera.”
“Yes?”
“Do you think it turned out well?”
At his question, I hesitated for a moment before answering.
What should I say?
I recalled the video I had just seen.
I remembered the struggles I had during the days spent shooting that one scene.
I could still feel the pain from the sore palms.
However, this was different.
Dipping my ankles in seawater, I took a step forward.
It was the first footprint deeply imprinted in the beach.
“Yes.”
At that moment, I thought I might have realized something for the first time.
When something brings you uncontrollable joy, you unknowingly break into a smile.
A feeling I was unaware of in my past life.
This intense emotion experienced by seven-year-old Joo Seo-yeon.
“Really, I think it turned out well.”
At that moment, I might have been smiling like a kid my age.
Surely.
*
After that day’s shoot, as expected, I spent a solid ten days bedridden.
I didn’t know if it was due to my intense emotional acting or the physical strain of the past few days.
In many ways, the body of a child, already prone to stress, had gotten quite sick, and two weeks later, I fully recovered.
It seemed this sturdy body I had gained from being reborn also had its limits.
“Seo-yeon’s scenes have all been filmed in advance, so they say it’s fine for her to rest for a while.”
My mother said this to me, as if to ease my worries.
Anyway, the deadline was plenty forgiving, and because I had filmed diligently for a time, there wouldn’t be any special issues.
In fact, there was enough leeway for me to rest another week.
“Everyone’s worrying too much.”
I thought that, but upon reflection, it was only natural.
I was just seven years old, after all.
Considering how other children behaved, the concern wasn’t unreasonable.
“But intense emotional acting is one thing, during puberty, it might be a bit tough.”
That was a problem beyond my control.
If it was hard for me now, wouldn’t it be even more so during the hormone chaos of puberty?
With the influence of my past life and everything.
Of course, it could be argued that my current state as a child was no different, but still.
“Joo Seo-yeon, you came out today? Why are you out?”
“Sounds like I shouldn’t have.”
Holding my mother’s hand, we arrived at kindergarten.
At the place I hadn’t visited in exactly ten days, I was greeted by the oddly sulky Lee Ji-yeon.
“So, you want to be a princess too, huh?”
I briefly wondered what she was talking about, but upon entering the kindergarten, I finally understood why.
Thinking back, the kindergarten arts festival was about two weeks away.
So the teachers of each class were preparing their respective plays and dances with the children.
And this shouldn’t be underestimated as nowadays, kindergarten arts festivals could be quite extravagant.
Most parents participated, often renting out auditoriums for the event.
“Okay, let’s see if anyone has a preferred role. Raise your hand!”
Ms. Min-a, the teacher of the Sunlight Class, said to the kids.
Of course, her gaze briefly glanced at Lee Ji-yeon.
And then a quick glance toward me.
‘A play is way too obvious.’
I had anticipated this, but it turned out the Sunlight Class was preparing a play.
A typical Snow White, no less.
I wondered if something more creative could have been done, but on second thought, that was what was standard.
The important thing was that from the perspective of “acting,” there was a strong commitment to securing first place in the arts festival.
“Do you know, Seo-yeon?”
“Just calling me by my name would be fine.”
Lee Ji-yeon always stubbornly tacked on a surname when calling me.
Apparently it just rolled off her tongue better that way.
“Actually, my mom told me. In these kinds of plays, it’s often the parents who are overzealous.”
I pondered where she had heard that.
Upon reflection, it made sense.
Any parent would want their kids to play roles like princesses and princes.
So, there were quite a few parents saying they didn’t want predetermined roles in the plays.
By the way, that was all information Lee Ji-yeon had provided.
Sometimes I found myself wondering what kind of conversations Ji-yeon’s mother had with her young daughter.
“Well, I’ll take on a leftover role.”
“Oh, really?”
At my answer, Lee Ji-yeon appeared pleased.
She was always so keen for the lead role.
Anyway, since I remained sedentary, it was a given that Snow White would be Ji-yeon’s role.
After all, lead roles tend to have more lines and responsibilities, which children usually shy away from.
Of course, there were kids who wanted them, but no one dared compete with Lee Ji-yeon.
One could say it was a complete Lee Ji-yeon sweep.
“Hey, Seo-yeon. Are you thinking of any other roles?”
“No, not really.”
“I see…”
Ms. Min-a, hearing my response, let out a disappointed voice.
Still, with a play involving children, my participating felt a bit odd.
Well, I was still a child.
Still, my parents probably wished to see me shine as well…
‘Hmm…’
It’s not like the role I got was just a simple extra.
It was, in fact, a fairly significant role.
I was playing the Queen’s “magic mirror.”
A role no other kid dared to touch.
‘It doesn’t even get a face, but it has quite a few lines.’
What other role could be more undesirable than this?
At least the seven dwarfs at least had proper appearances.
‘Well, anyway, I’ll give it my all.’
In a way, this mirror role was similar to a VTuber position, wasn’t it?
Though the queen clearly hadn’t sent proper super chats.
My determination to be serious in acting hadn’t wavered in the face of being a VTuber.
I was only deeply pondering how to connect it with acting.
Anyway, as the arts festival approached,
The final shoot of “The Moon Hiding The Sun” began.
*
The Moon Hiding The Sun.
A virtual historical drama prepared by KMB.
Initially, it was merely perceived as a historical drama targeting a younger audience with significant capital investment.
However, once the making film was released, it gained considerable attention.
“Director Gong, Seo-yeon’s filming finished yesterday, right?”
Producer Ha Tae-o of The Moon Hiding The Sun said to Director Gong Jung-tae.
With many things he wanted to discuss before today’s meeting.
“I watched the footage, and Seo-yeon said it was her first time filming a drama, right?”
“Yes, that’s what I heard.”
Ha Tae-o recalled the footage he had received yesterday.
It was still raw footage, not properly edited or with inserted music.
Yet, he found himself enthralled by the imagery.
Of course, it wasn’t just Seo-yeon who caught his eye.
In fact, Yoon Jong-hyuk’s performance as the second prince stood out the most.
It was acting that made one exclaim, “Truly a master of villain roles!”
“Yet, Seo-yeon managed not to be overshadowed… no, in certain scenes, she was even more intense. Just for a moment, though.”
Ha Tae-o couldn’t forget the moment when Seo-yeon first lifted her head.
What would happen when editing and sound were added?
Even just imagining it thrilled him.
“Was that yesterday’s shoot?”
“Yes. Isn’t it excellent?”
“Wow, you can’t underestimate young actors nowadays! It must be the child of Park Sun-ung. Oh, and of course… not to mention Seo-yeon.”
Ha Tae-o’s voice was notably excited.
Consequently, Gong Jung-tae couldn’t help but chuckle.
After witnessing that performance, who could blame him?
Park Jung-woo, who had been called a genius actor since childhood, was also astonished.
It had been quite a sight to watch him act out his villainous antics.
“The scene where young Princess Yeonhwa appears for the last time is S#32, right?”
“Yes.”
“Hmmm…”
Ha Tae-o, recalling the footage he’d seen yesterday, slightly pursed his lips.
It was a smile that struggled to suppress a laugh.
There are moments like these.
A fleeting intuition that everything seems destined to go well.
This was precisely how Ha Tae-o felt.
“Seo-yeon is going to get busy.”
Anyone could see that after watching Seo-yeon’s last performance, they would want to cast her.
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