Chapter 20: GM Disqualification
I am disqualified as a GM.
As someone disqualified as a GM, I was “deprived” of the right to be bipedal. Even being quadrupedal was too extravagant for me. I crawled on the floor, diligently using my back and stomach muscles to drag my worthless body around.
No, I shouldn’t call myself worthless. It was because of my crawling that Lord Dust got wiped clean…
It would have been better for me to just turn into a stone and live eternally. A punishment like that is only fitting for someone who has broken a taboo!
The passing Tower Master saw me, now turned into stone, and asked with concern.
“Why are you like this…? Didn’t it all end well? Is it perhaps because the fireworks event we prepared all night got skipped?”
That really was a bit of a pity. According to the plan, as soon as the “Beer and Song” operation started, fireworks hidden around the city were supposed to start exploding. The festive atmosphere would blossom, and merry songs would start to spread stealthily by the planted instigators.
But alas, whoops, there was a problem with the fireworks set up on the church spire, and they didn’t ignite! Irid and Centra would have to whip out the grappling gun and head to the spire, against the backdrop of a moonlit night and bursting fireworks.
The two would snugly sit in the spire’s watchtower, putting on a spectacular final display of fireworks. Colorful fireworks would burst into the night, making it hard to hear each other’s voices over the loud noise. Centra would say something to Irid.
Since he couldn’t hear it over the fireworks, Irid would be puzzled. What on Earth could Centra be talking about? As Irid couldn’t hear, Centra decided to show him through her actions. With a passionate kiss as the grand finale, accompanied by fireworks!
That was Plan A: Ending.
“O-Or is it because…you couldn’t deliver the last line of Ronya?”
That was also a bit of a pity. According to the plan, after the Second Prince took a couple more hits, she would experience the backlash of doping. Ronya would spit blood and slump down, desperately asking with a scream.
“Don’t you resent the dogs of the Kingdom Alliance, Irid!! You, too, suffered all kinds of torment just for having Imperial blood because of your blonde hair! You want revenge, don’t you? I know you want to kill them all—!!”
“So I have to give up my revenge because of that bitch Centra?! I’ve staked my life on revenge, but just because her daddy was the former leader, I had to follow those moronic commands about peace and song—!!”
Having set the stage for such a cool scene, the Second Prince just needed to deliver any cool line! Boom! Nice and easy! In case he needed time to think due to a brain freeze, I was ready to slow down time.
It would have been nice if he came up with a line that embodied his goals and identity. Anything would have been fine. “Because I love Centra.” would’ve been okay and even a line like “You’ve irritated me!” would do… If he said that, I was even prepared to play a rock song as the BGM.
And it wasn’t like we’d only show this if the Second Prince succeeded in parrying two hits!
Even if the Second Prince just pretended to block, Ronya’s attack would have been stopped. After all, the player ought to meet a happy ending. It would be too cruel to throw them into a bad ending just because of a silly dice roll or a failure in deduction!
After all, players should always look cool!
At that time, I was the one who had taken control of Ronya. It was incredibly hard to scream with a metallic voice… I had also prepared for a sudden loss of strength due to the doping side effects, ready to groan “Keuk, my head…!” and give him some time to rest.
I had set everything up for hospitality, but this crazy bastard… no, I mean the Second Prince… Who would have thought he would suddenly go in for an embrace? None of the seventeen simulations I ran had even hinted at that.
Perhaps I underestimated the Second Prince’s craziness. No matter how safe I claimed it was, what was he thinking, just dying without hesitation like that?
…Of course, witnessing Irid dying and Centra weeping in despair was somewhat enjoyable. I secretly cheered, clapping in my heart. I didn’t expect Centra to deliver her lines so deliciously. I was ready to input the manual commands if necessary, but as expected, AI should learn on its own.
Anyway, that was Plan B: The Final Battle.
“Or if it’s not even that, is it because… you couldn’t use the panty modeling you’ve been working on for three days?”
“That really is a shame, though. Like, truly.”
“I-I was just joking! Why are you seriously disappointed about it…?!”
Panties, to exaggerate a bit, were the soul of a character. Even if it’s the same noble lady character, what she wears inside instantly changes her character. It’s also the epitome of romance.
I could talk about this topic for five and a half A4 pages. If I applied it right now to underneath the skirt of the Purple Magic Tower Master…
No, nevermind.
Come to think of it, all my pain and suffering originated from the Tower Master in front of me.
When I shot her a glare full of resentment, the Tower Master looked bewildered, as if she couldn’t follow the situation. Illusions shaped like question marks swirled around her head.
The reason I was disqualified as a GM, the reason for my agony, was because…
At the very, very end, I stopped Centra from kissing…
That… that scene was meant to be the grand finale. A tribute as well as the bare minimum reward to Second Prince Irid, who had been rolling around like an idiot. I would have stopped it before they started kissing with tongue; there was no data for that. If he had put his tongue in her mouth, it probably would have tasted like curry udon because of the dummy data.
Yet still, at least a kiss… the soft touch of lips should have been left in his memories.
But I ruined it all.
If there had been a rational reason for my decision… No, it didn’t even have to be rational. If it had just been for aesthetic values, I wouldn’t have felt this tormented. Something like how I enjoyed tragedy, so I wanted to mess with the Second Prince right till the end…
But that wasn’t the reason.
The lip sensation data inputted into the Virtual Reality came from the “Tower Master’s Smooch Shootings Incident” that occurred after the announcement of a 30-fold grant. At the time, under strict control from the Purple Magic Tower’s Disciplinarian (Female / Magic Tower Order 4th / Tower Master’s Favorite), all male members of the Magic Tower were locked away in the labs.
I, who was nearby when the incident occurred, could not escape the barrage of smooches.
I was chased around for several days, with her shouting, “How dare you, a man, receive smooches from the Tower Master!”
Back then, collecting kiss data seemed like a bonus; it felt like a dream come true that I hadn’t even received from my ex-girlfriend. But the moment Centra was about to kiss Irid’s lips… something struck me.
Wouldn’t it mean the Tower Master was giving the Second Prince an indirect kiss?
As that thought hit me, I reflexively pressed the shutdown button.
…Even now, I still don’t know why I did it. Was I so resentful of the Second Prince’s moves that I wanted to spite him, breaking my beliefs in the process? Or was that stew made by the Tower Master just off that day?
Perhaps I had been wrong from the very start. I was, in fact, a selfish GM who valued my own happiness over the player’s…
“EUAAAAAAAAH NO!! IT CAN’T BE!”
I clutched my head and screamed. It felt like my soul was splitting in half!
“Hey… If you have a concern, talk to me. We agreed to help each other, right?”
Tap tap. The Purple Magic Tower Master gently tugged at the hem of my robe. Under the brim of her hat, one eye was partially covered, showcasing a delicate nose and small lips with a hint of color──
I slapped my own forehead. Then, I laughed.
“Heh, heheh, heheheheh…”
“……?!”
I was sure. I had gotten so ahead of myself that I was burning my rear end with the trail of flames I left behind. To solve this, I had to eliminate the cause. The current cause of the problem was a “lack of data.”
What if I had about thirty types of lip sensations coded into the database? Then I wouldn’t have hesitated. Irid could’ve shared a deep kiss.
If I had… stored the sensation of a tongue in the database! Irid could’ve even exchanged a passionate deep kiss! It was all my shortcoming. What a truly miserable feeling.
I couldn’t stay trapped in despair forever. People must move toward a bright and shining future. Only those who act will not regret. So, I declared.
“Tower Master. I’m taking a week off.”
“S-Suddenly? W-Well… That’s fine, but… If you’re going to relax and have fun, maybe I can join—”
“I’m planning to visit every single red-light district in the capital.”
“…??”
“I will learn everything I need to know about the female body for data. Don’t look for me. Adios.”
“W-W-What, w-wait! W-—Wait a minute…!! Don’t run and t-talk to me! HEY!!”
Crash Bang Thud.
My attempt to escape the Magic Tower for the grand purpose of completing the database’s version of the Eighty-Thousand Tripitaka was subdued by the Tower Master after about 30 minutes of commotion.
===============================================================
“……What are you doing?”
Since my attempt to escape the tower, the Tower Master’s gaze had turned peculiar. It felt something along the lines of “Ah, our son is at that age now.” Even though it was a decision for the sake of TRPG and a patriotic choice for the greater good!
…Of course, I’d be lying if I said I had no curiosity about the unknown world.
While fiddling with the simulation magic circle, I replied.
“Since the session is over, I’m logging.”
“Logging?”
“I’m talking about ‘Second Prince Irid’s Heart-Pounding, Dizzying Exploration of the Empire 100 Years in the Future’. I’m documenting it all. So I can reference it later.”
“…..Your naming sense is awful.”
“What’s really foul is the Tower Master’s…”
“I-I! USE! CLEAN! MAGIC! E-EVERY! DAY! IN! THE! MORNING! AND! EVENING!!”
Every time the Tower Master emphasized her words, I felt a shock cover my whole body, as if stepping on Legos. I had to roll around on the floor, enduring this inhumane Pain Infliction.
Leaving me to writhe in pain, the Tower Master glanced over the simulation magic circle and remarked.
“Aren’t you storing a bit too much for ‘Video Recording’ magic?”
“I’m trying to save the entire world’s data. As for storage, really, maybe the Second Prince will give us a Dragon Heart if we charm him just right? He did give us a Highest-Grade mana stone last time.”
“I already told you, the Dragon Heart is a national treasure! You’ll probably need to submit a petition to the First Princess!”
“I can charm the First Princess too. Done. Fin.”
“Well, umm… I don’t think it’ll be easy, but… since the First Princess is quite unique… She’s kind of on a slightly different wavelength from others…?”
“I’m done logging. Let’s watch it together when we’re bored.”
“When we watch it together, eh, what was that sweet thing… Popcorn? That tasted phenomenally good… Especially the caramel-coated ones.”
“Sure. Just a moment. I just need to jot down the name, and I’m done, okay? ‘Second Prince Irid’s Heart-Pounding, Dizzying…’”
“I told you that name is terrible!”
“Then what? Do you want to name it, Tower Master?”
“The Prince, The Flower, And The Resistance!”
“Boring…”
“It’s a hundred times better than your whatever heart-pounding nonsense! Just go away, shoo, SHOO…!”
“Ah, ow. Ouch.”
In the end, under her pressure and tyranny, the log was named ‘The Prince, The Flower, And The Resistance’. Having saved the log, I turned off the lights in the simulation room and stepped outside with the Tower Master.
I still needed to contact the First Princess and repay my emotional debt to the Second Prince. He seemed busy inspecting the capital, Crownhall, so I figured meeting him wouldn’t be too difficult.
There was still a long journey ahead of me before the completion of the world. Let’s do this!
===============================================================
In the now-empty room…
The magic circle in the simulation room began to faintly glow.
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