Chapter: 195
Due to the severe mental shock caused by Yuna’s command, I was slumped in my wheelchair like a dried radish. The wounds to my heart were profound.
Seeing my pitiful state, Yuna fidgeted anxiously, carefully pulling her hand away from her mouth.
“… I hate you!”
“Gaaah!!”
Once again, I unleashed a death beam from my mouth. Yuna gasped in surprise, covering her mouth again. I writhed in agony.
But having experienced this once, I could endure it again. After all, “hate” can be interpreted as “like” due to linguistic rules, right?
“This is escapism, Mima. So what happened with the Tower Master?”
“I hate… it.”
As I watched Yuna spiral into an uncontrolled “hate missile” mode, I slowly began to formulate a hypothesis. I had some suspicions.
“Let me ask, Pinkvalez, how does the Tower Master look to you?”
“She seems to be experiencing a slight mental disturbance.”
“No, I mean physically.”
“She’s cute and lovely… uhm, she looks cute.”
Pinkvalez seemed to misunderstand the essence of my question, so I asked more directly.
“What’s the Tower Master’s cup size?”
“Maybe B?”
“That’s the part! To me, she doesn’t look like that at all. It fluctuates, doesn’t it?”
“… Huh?”
Her appearance was ambiguous. At times she looked ample, while at other times, modest—simply put, she was in a superposition state.
Even among my peers at the Purple Magic Tower, testimonies regarding Yuna varied greatly. Some said she was small, others said she was big, some called her a cool beauty…
While they may seem disparate at first glance, they exhibit a trait where the viewer’s desires influence the perception. People fond of larger figures generally see a more ample Tower Master.
Another trait is that the more proficient one is at illusion magic, the better one can see through illusions.
Could it be that her ascension affects this…?
The petite Tower Master seen by Pinkvalez represents her default form. It’s closer to Yuna’s essence. It seems she has a form of resistance due to her embodied myths.
However, to my eyes, where both talent and resistance are alarmingly high, she appears as a superposition of both states.
If I were to focus intensely, I would perceive her as 60% petite, 40% ample… In daily life, the petite ratio increases, while during a battle, the ample one rises.
But regardless of the appearance, she was still ‘Yuna,’ so I didn’t take it too seriously. Even with changing ratios, she didn’t change. Her conversation patterns, personality, and sentence structure remained true to Yuna herself.
Thus, I thought my trivial toggling of modes was similar; it seems it was a bit different in reality.
“I hate… it!”
Each time the “hate missile” fired, my image flickered, and the ample percentage spiked to 95% before dropping.
The other side of Yuna, whom I had considered the same entity, was expressing “hate” to the point of losing control.
Why was this happening?
I didn’t know. Only Yuna herself could answer that. Had I been my previous self, I would have turned a blind eye, but now I was a mad wizard with determination.
I was prepared to face Yuna’s past and wounds, and I was about to beg her to let me touch her hurt, but in this state, it was difficult.
“Shall we have lamb today?”
“I hate… it, hate!”
“With me?”
“I like… I hate!”
Isn’t the “hate machine” ruining our conversation? For now, I needed to stop the leak and think it through. If this state lasted just one more day, I would suffer irreversible emotional wounds. I hate hate.
When the source of the bug is unknown, there’s no choice but to start troubleshooting.
By rolling back changes bit by bit, I might discover the cause.
“So, Pinkvalez, I need your cooperation. Let’s get close again. Not that I have ulterior motives, but it’s been a while since I had a lap pillow.”
“… Getting close is fine, but that part is a bit…”
“Just say you don’t want it, you idiot…!!”
“I hate it!”
Not Yuna…!
It’s so unfair. Both Pinkvalez and Yuna were keeping their distance from me. How could the world conspire against me like this?
My insides were bubbling. When well-functioning code breaks, that’s how it goes. In the past, I would have quelled my anger with some college student internet forum venting, but now I needed to face my emotions.
While glaring at my inner wrath without turning away, I thought perhaps I could relieve stress by wrecking Roderus in my dreams.
Suddenly, Yuna jumped up and hissed.
“Shaaaaarrrk-!!”
“…!!!”
Her reaction sparked a lightning bolt of inspiration.
Could it be?
“Alright, Tower Master. Let’s play a black-and-white game. If you feel my bad intentions, let me know. Ready?”
I ignite the hues of my heart; just a bit, to provoke my malice.
“Crack crack-!”
Yuna made chattering sounds, similar to a cat before its prey.
I painted my heart black with malice. Ah, I love bleeding. If it turns red, it’ll look so pretty.
“Die-!! No, wait, I shouldn’t kill…?!”
Swoosh-! A Yuna death beam zoomed over my head. If it hadn’t curved at the end, it would have struck me directly. I flailed, suppressing my malice.
In the meantime, Pinkvalez tried to push my wheelchair to save me, but halted upon seeing the trajectory. That brought me a small joy.
This is it. I don’t know why all this is happening, but I found the trigger.
Yuna… whether it’s her true self or a module, something like a defense system. It seems highly attracted to my inner malice.
It was Yuna who had tried to recognize and deal with ‘that’ in my head. Naturally, she must have information about it and reasons to stop it.
Considering it makes people’s hearts dark, it wouldn’t be strange for her to show such killing intent. But now it’s come to this.
‘That’ had been in my head before and after, and the reason she’s bombarding me with “hate” is that I accepted the malice as part of myself? Have I concluded that I was devoured by it?
Then let’s take some emergency measures.
Let’s dye my heart white. On a pure white path, there are no shadows. I’ll bring up the kindness that opposes malice to cover the dirty stains.
Yuna’s unidentifiable ferocity gradually calms down. This indicates the emergency measures are working. I coated my heart with white paint even more.
Embarrassment, hesitation, negative emotions were all swept away, leaving only sugary lumps of dreams, love, and hope.
Then, at a certain critical point, click.
I felt a switch flip.
===============================================================
“… Phew, huuh.”
Yuna, who had almost hit the mad wizard with a Yuna death beam unintentionally, pressed her shivering hands down and took a breath.
Getting hit by that beam wouldn’t kill him, but he would have had to spend a day in the infirmary. That alone was a terribly horrifying prospect.
Feeling her heart pounding wildly, Yuna spoke to herself. Why was this happening all of a sudden? Everything was fine before.
It was true she felt a tinge of jealousy seeing how far Yuli had advanced, but… honestly, she was sulking. There was no need for such a drastic reaction.
Yuna and her reflection in the mirror were like one body. Over time, they had perfectly fused, so she thought they were effectively the same person…
But it was the first time there had been such a marked ‘difference.’
In her monologue, the Yuna reflected in the mirror spoke up.
– Don’t you feel it? Just now, you were clearly devoured. There was the same stench of decay from your pupils, just like those creatures.
“No way. It’s an illusion, it’s got to be. And look, we’re going to play a black-and-white game… and I warned you about that. That’s evidence he’s in control.”
– That very control is proof that you were devoured. We’ve been neglectful. We lacked determination.
That said, I couldn’t impose ‘that’ during the Enverse or Roderus sessions… If I had, he might have been angry.
– Even if you receive dislike, you should have accelerated the removal. Look at the change in his gaze. He’s completely transformed—
“Hello.”
With a simple utterance, the wizard’s voice indicated a shift.
“… … …”
– …….
“Um, I’m sorry everyone… Did I frighten you a bit? It’s okay. So, take a deep breath and calm down a little… Can you listen to me?”
In a gentle tone that could make anyone drowsy, a voice that soothed hearts and a tender, relaxed smile.
Pinkvalez, stunned, grabbed the mad wizard’s cheeks, pivoting his face side to side to inspect for injuries.
“Did… did a beam just graze your head?”
“No, I’m fine, Yuli. Thanks for worrying. I’m alright… Don’t be too scared. I’m sorry for making you panic.”
“Tower Master, Mima seems to be going a bit senile.”
“Well, that might be a little saddening… Yuli, your hands are a bit cold. They say someone with cold hands has a warm heart, but maintaining body temperature is generally healthier. Should I warm you up?”
Saying that, the mad wizard leaned in with a doe-eyed smile and pressed his palm against Yuli’s hand, gently rubbing.
Boom! Yuli’s emotional dam burst. She fled to the corners of the laboratory as if a hornet had stung her.
While she barely maintained her expression, she couldn’t control her rapid heartbeat and the heat rising to her ears.
It was hard to handle seeing him act in such a charming way.
The mad wizard, having subdued Pinkvalez, stood up from the wheelchair and cautiously approached Yuna.
“If I could approach you a bit, uhm… if you still hate me, I won’t come closer. But I think it’s been too long since we’ve been apart. May I sit next to you and talk?”
“Uh, uhmm… no, I mean, I think it’d be better to keep some distance…”
“I want to explain properly. How much I like you, and I swear I won’t turn against you, even if the sky should fall. Until it reaches you.”
“Uh, ugh…”
Yuna curled up from the relentless onslaught of his gaze, speaking to her inner self.
“Mirror, mirror, please say ‘I hate it’ quickly. I can’t deal with the concept of ‘an emotionally honest mad wizard!’”
– I think it’s good…
Just moments ago, she had been shooting Yuna death beams!
– He was terrible. But this, I like.
He was the same entity…?!
“Let me tell you how I feel before explaining my state. There were some misunderstandings, but I’m always grateful for your efforts for me and—”
“Hyahhh!!”
The white flower wizard clung to Yuna for two hours, then Yuli for another two, back to Yuna for one hour.
He whispered about how wonderful she was, what parts were so charming, how accepting my malice didn’t mean surrender but was a step in the struggle, promising to continue striving so she wouldn’t feel anxious.
Then click.
The switch turned off.
The mad wizard, who had spilled his heart out without filtering, felt extreme embarrassment from the backlash and collapsed. And thus…
In the laboratory, only three people, now squished together like ripe octopuses, lay sprawled.
===============================================================
It was all in haste. I was in a rush. I never anticipated such events would unfold.
“There won’t be any more such incidents again. Now that I know going to the extreme will get eaten… I won’t need to resort to that again.”
“Uh, uhmm…”
“… Yes. Please be careful.”
Silence.
An awkward silence lingered.
I continued to slap my still-flushed face, trying to take a breath. Today’s events… Yuna’s secret, and a minor mishap caused by my flawed quasi-fable control…
The more I pondered, the more profound aspects emerged.
The fact that it reacted so sensitively only to my malice. And how it pierced through my mental barriers, feeling directly.
It was evidence that ‘that’ in my head was deeply entwined with the purple Tower Master.
I’d defer this for now, but I planned to hear from Yuna about it soon. Thanks to the earlier commotion, the subtle turbulence of these past two weeks seemed to settle.
It felt like Yuna’s sulking had eased. She seemed to have softened up with Yuli as well.
Yet somehow, it stung my pride.
Wasn’t that not the true me? After a brief hesitation, I tentatively spoke to the two.
“And by the way, could I… ask for a little more time? Both Yuna and Yuli.”
“… Huh?”
“Confessing after drinking makes it ugly. What’s the difference between drunken ramblings and swinging about like just now? It’s essential to ponder and hesitate for it to have meaning. No, I don’t mean that what just happened was a confession…”
Only after finishing the two-round conversation did that day’s discussion conclude.
===============================================================
“By the way, where did Espoir of Eternal Dark go?”
“… Uh, that’s a good question? I’m sure she was involved in the ‘Nest’ assault operation…”
The Evil God has been missing for two weeks.
Only now did I realize she was indeed missing.
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