Chapter: 194
It’s an emergency.
I am dying from severe lack of physical affection. This condition arises when someone who usually indulges in excessive skinship suddenly has it cut off completely.
The main symptoms include anxiety, restlessness, and a bit of a fuss.
So, why has this supply been cut off?
“… I’m not playing with you.”
“Gasp.”
“I was so worried and sad, but I’m not going to play with someone who was just fooling around with Yuri inside!”
Hwaaaah.
The main supplier, President Yu of Purple Magic Tower Co., Ltd., declared a halt to our dealings due to a minor misunderstanding. But I feel a bit wronged.
We fought fiercely inside, and sure, we flirted a bit, but is it really necessary to be this angry?
Moreover, I had already explained that due to some circumstances, Yuri turned into a scorched green onion rooted in affection. I even demonstrated beforehand.
“See, Tower Master. If I try to hold Yuri’s hand like this—”
Shush.
Pinkvalez smoothly dodged away, now it’s even come to the point where I can’t even touch her hand…
I guess I need to slowly close the distance again. But given the passionate skinship we had before, I can’t gauge a normal pace anymore.
Thinking back, we ended up locking lips on our first meeting, should I start with that again?
There’s no way.
But even if it’s one step before holding hands, not much comes to mind… As I wore a gloomy expression contemplating this, Yuna puffed up her cheeks as if she was really about to burst into tears.
“Get out of here—!!”
With a Yuna Punch (infused with magic, so it actually hurts), she was literally kicking me out.
What on earth just exploded?
Is it really that sorrowful that Yuri drifted away from me…?
Given this situation, it has already been two weeks since I could engage in any skinship.
Having huddled and embraced like a family, rubbing skin in every possible way, and now suddenly it all disappears like a lie, it’s like withdrawal symptoms, and I feel like I’m going to die. Where, where is the warmth…?
I am now walking through winter…
===============================================================
I need someone to turn to for advice. I can’t think of a way to break through this deadlock on my own, so I should seek out a dating master for some consultation.
I wandered through the Academy, shuffling along.
If the three of us walk side by side, one of them is my master, so in this wide and bustling Academy, surely there must be at least one dating expert among them?
Then I bumped into the One-Eyed Viking.
“You scrawny shrimp! I haven’t seen you around lately; it’s nice to finally meet. I was just about to have a drink with Alejandro at the tavern today; want to join?”
I swear, getting advice from him would be less beneficial than doing a one-day druid experience. I could ask the bushes nearby how to impress a girl.
Surely the sound of leaves rustling would be more productive than hearing this lonely loser give advice.
“Declined.”
“???”
As I declared my rejection, Alexson looked at me as if I was crazy, but he soon realized from my demeanor that I was a bit off and nodded in agreement.
He pondered whether to give me a smack on the head for the refusal or, considering the camaraderie among the male faculty members, to explain a bit more. True to his friendly nature, he chose the latter.
“This time, they’re gearing up to present the advanced discourses from Crownhall at the Skylark Tavern with new waitress outfits. I’m going to check it out.”
“Then I’ll go… I mean, I won’t.”
Memories of a resolve to go to the short-skirted tavern with Pinkvalez flickered past, and my mood soured rapidly. If we were still close, we could have gone to see the revamped waitress outfits together…
Noticing my face, Alexson asked with concern, “Your expression looks completely rotten. What’s going on?”
“It’s a dating issue.”
“Oh, so that’s why you declined… you scoundrel.”
Thud.
In the end, I got hit.
===============================================================
I ran into the Red Tower Maiden on my way. When I observed her closely, Selvier crossed her arms and drew a firm line.
“I’m not going to dry your laundry, Professor.”
“Well, that’s fine, but…”
Selvier has a knack for being an advisor. Didn’t she help calm my panic last time? So maybe this time…?
Wait, her views on romance seem to be made of dreams and sugar, a rather naive structure.
At her age, isn’t she just waiting for a childhood friend like Prince Charming? So that means she’s never really experienced love. But asking her about women’s hearts… wait, I might understand women’s hearts better than she does.
As I contemplated while staring at her, she tilted her head and looked at my face, then suddenly asked, “… Did you wear makeup, Professor?”
“? Are you trying to hit on me?”
“Ugh, no way! I’m just asking because your face looks a bit smoother today.”
“Can’t you see this expression stained with sorrow and pain, you heartless Selvier…?!!”
I knew from the moment I changed your class to Cthulhu. How can someone look at this gloomy face and say such things?
Could it be that she’s also harboring a malignant spirit inside her? Does seeing people with sad faces just make her laugh?
… Oh?
Now that the topic of malignancy has come up, I suddenly realized, I don’t have any bad thoughts.
More precisely, it feels as if the angel within me has crushed the demon a bit. Maybe I’m feeling cautious about it?
I thought I might as well ask, “Are you still on your fable?”
“Are you joking?”
“Yeah, if you were in a fable, you’d have challenged that blue-tower girl to a duel by now. Then, it wouldn’t be a tranquility fable…”
“Don’t bring up the Snow White story in front of me!”
So it seems the workings were in me and not Selvier. Was there something linking us? No, of course there must be.
We come from the same hometown. It’s just that I can’t remember it.
The past…
If I’ve steeled myself to confront the unwelcome guests within, I must also dig into the past. How did such bizarre things get lodged in my head?
“Selvier, let’s meet up later.”
“… I don’t want to.”
I parted from Selvier, promising to see her again.
What’s urgent now isn’t digging into my past but rather narrowing the distance with the two of them.
===============================================================
Ultimately, I couldn’t find any substantial advisors.
Even when I asked grad student candidate Luna, she merely muttered “status quo” before walking away. I even attempted to ask Princess Baekryeom, but she was chased off by her followers saying she shouldn’t associate with me.
Though Princess Baekryeom is indeed knowledgeable about romance and has all the answers about the universe, still, due to her lack of romantic experience, her followers argued that asking her such questions was out of the question.
“… Please, everyone. Just stop…”
“Don’t worry, Princess! We can go on all day long!”
“Get your filthy hands off the evil professor! Stay away!”
Watching Princess Baekryeom seemingly at her wit’s end from the relentless crowd was quite an impressive sight.
Although it’s great to witness a faction building strong camaraderie, their treating me like a walking plague stirred my competitive spirit.
I threw myself into the dilemma of ‘keeping Princess Baekryeom single for life versus understanding that her potential partner might be a bit lacking’ and slipped away.
The followers began to bicker amongst themselves, their voices echoing throughout the Academy.
Then, as I sat slumped on a bench, looking up at the sky, the night’s veil gradually drew near, and the stars, hidden behind the sunlight, began to reveal themselves one by one.
“Oh!”
Stars.
Thinking back, there’s one man from whom I could possibly receive clear advice on such matters… That would be Bennett, who confidently juggles multiple relationships while living the happy life!
Sure, Bennett isn’t in the Academy, but I can always write him a letter. Given our past experiences together, if I write diligently, he should respond thoughtfully.
So, sitting right there, I began scribbling a letter.
Starting with, “Greetings, hero who saved the world…” a spoonful of flattery.
As I was about to dive into the main content… wait, I can’t do it unseasoned like that. I need to pay a counselling fee. Bennett and I may share a high internal intimacy, but that doesn’t mean he does the same with me.
I had vowed to find his sister’s body as compensation during our session, so I don’t want to mess with that. I know it’s efficient to leverage that as a bargaining chip, but that’s protected by the sacred TRPG pact.
Then what can I offer? For now, let’s mention this: don’t be anxious.
I included in the content that we took care of “The Virgin of Carnal Pleasures.” We took out an impressive named dark sorcerer, so we should also be able to catch “The Corpse Flower that Feeds on Fear.” So they can afford a little peace of mind.
Something like that.
Then for the main content. I briefly mentioned my circumstances and asked how I could mend my relationship. How are Niore and Tara? Can I get some dating tips…?
No, wait.
“I wrote that too bluntly.”
No matter how thick-skinned I am, that’s a bit embarrassing. Asking a young guy for dating advice is kind of humiliating to think about.
In terms of physical age, I might be younger than Bennett, but considering my past life, I feel like I’m in my 50s. There’s a dignity that comes with being older. I should phrase it a bit more artfully.
Once I packaged it up nicely, I requested a government office that functions like a post office to help with delivery.
“… Crazy Wizard, the Defense Bureau is not our top priority.”
“Please, it’s very important to me, Kirby.”
“Since you saved Yuri, only this time…”
“Great. Now all I have to do is wait.”
Bennett, please, grant me enlightenment, show me the path to recovery…!
===============================================================
After finishing my tasks, I stealthily returned to the laboratory, only to find the door tightly shut.
I cautiously grasped the doorknob and turned it slowly, attempting to open it without causing any noise. However, the old hinges screamed against my gentleness.
Creaaak!
Inside the lab, Pinkvalez and Yuna, who were stuck together like glue, turned to face me simultaneously. Pinkvalez was seated on the couch with Yuna nestled in her lap, embracing her in a classic pose.
As their eyes met, Pinkvalez quickly diverted her gaze, while Yuna shot a glare at me as if she were ready to devour me.
I felt frustrated that I couldn’t wedge myself between them. Surely it would feel soft and warm.
But of course, the affection aimed at me had burned away, so Pinkvalez and Yuna’s relationship seemed just fine. Wait, does that mean Yuna is also a competitor…?
As I thrashed about in confusion, Pinkvalez threw me a lifeline.
“… We had a little talk just now. The Tower Master seems to be anxious. It seems she felt a sense of crisis.”
“What about…?”
“…”
Pinkvalez turned her head away with a doll-like expression. Her eyes fixated way off on the wallpaper patterns, completely avoiding my direction.
Seeing that made me realize. I snapped my fingers decisively.
“Ah, you’re worried that Pinkvalez and I might grow distant after a big fight…? Then Tower Master, I’ll befriend Pinkvalez quickly.”
“No, you idiot—!!”
“??”
The puzzle pieces didn’t fit. In cases like this, it usually means one of the puzzle pieces is erroneous. One of them is malicious information.
Who is it? Who dares cloud my judgment with lies…?
It’s undeniable that Pinkvalez’s affection has burned away, and that’s an utterly plain fact. I have enough evidence. I haven’t brushed fingers with Pinkvalez for two weeks.
Even the mild sexual innuendos that used to pop up sporadically have completely evaporated. I haven’t even heard a fragment of a suggestive comment!
Then, does it mean the Tower Master’s anger is false? But Yuna is someone who can’t hide her feelings…?
Lost in my thoughts, Yuna delivered the finishing blow.
“I-I really hate you!”
“…!!”
“Hiccup.”
Yuna blurted out the shocking confession, and then as if surprised by her own words, she covered her mouth and began hiccuping.
If I had managed to remain calm, I might have noticed that Yuna’s reaction appeared as if she couldn’t control herself at that moment. I could have realized that it wasn’t her true feelings.
But at that moment, I didn’t have such leisure. So,
I froze stiff like a rabbit struck by lightning and collapsed sideways. The fading consciousness was filled with the quickly retreating voices of the two.
“Hey, are you okay?!”
“That was terrible, Tower Master. No matter how dense he is, that was too much…”
“No, wait! That, um, there’s a reason… wait, Yuri?!!”
“… I was careless. For now, let’s get him to bed.”
And so, I fainted.
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