Chapter: 189
In front of me, Yoon Si-woo bowed his head and apologized, admitting he was wrong.
However, I knew.
I knew who was truly at fault.
Was it Yoon Si-woo, who stood before me?
That couldn’t be right.
The one at fault was me.
No one else, but I was completely to blame.
Thinking that I should be the one to apologize, I dropped my head to the ground and hurriedly blurted out my apology.
“Ah… no. I’m sorry… I’m the one who’s sorry…”
From the beginning, I understood that Yoon Si-woo was not someone who would act with bad intentions toward me.
No matter what actions he took, I should naturally think that he did it with me in mind.
Yet, what did I do to Yoon Si-woo?
I selfishly got disappointed, I selfishly got hurt, and I selfishly got angry.
Was I being punished for my wrong actions?
Ever since a little while ago, an overwhelming sense of guilt had been crushing my chest.
The harsh words I had carelessly thrown at Yoon Si-woo came back like a boomerang, tearing me apart from the inside.
What was disappointment? What was betrayal?
The feelings I had harbored for Yoon Si-woo had transformed into self-hatred, gripping me tightly.
The monster that nearly killed a friend had gone so far as to hurt others.
Am I really no better than trash?
Shaking with self-disgust as if I couldn’t breathe, I continued to apologize.
“I’m sorry for getting angry when I didn’t understand anything… I’m sorry for shouting… I’m really sorry… I’m sorry…”
Drops of water fell to the floor.
The droplets that fell from my bowed head splashed onto Yoon Si-woo’s toes.
Tears flowing from a piece of trash are bound to be dirty, just like its owner.
Worried that my filthy tears might touch Yoon Si-woo, I hastily lifted my head.
As I looked up, my reflection appeared in Yoon Si-woo’s eyes.
A distorted face soaked in guilt, shedding tears.
Yoon Si-woo’s expression, upon seeing me, looked so painfully tormented.
Suddenly, a conversation I had with Sylvia crossed my mind.
She said that if I were to smile, the people around me would also become happy because of it.
But doesn’t that mean the opposite holds true as well?
As I pondered this, I looked at Yoon Si-woo once more, and a small giggle escaped my lips.
Yoon Si-woo, looking at me while I was in tears, appeared endlessly unhappy.
That’s right.
I was a reverse curse that spread unhappiness, not happiness.
I couldn’t help but think that maybe my very existence was a mistake.
I didn’t want to be a burden to others.
But what if my mere existence was a nuisance?
Then I would rather…
“Scarlet?”
At that moment, I heard Sylvia’s voice.
I turned my attention to her voice and saw her hand, which was touching my head, shimmering with starlight.
I stared at her with dazed eyes as if entranced by the light, and Sylvia murmured to me, her face filled with worry.
“Th-that’s a mental stabilization spell… I was holding back in case the elemental powers negatively affected you, but I just thought you looked really unwell… Are you alright?”
For a moment, I stood there blankly, checking my condition, and slowly nodded my head.
I was fine.
To be precise, I could sense that I hadn’t been okay just moments ago.
Was it that difficult to cope?
Realizing how mentally strained I had been, I felt a little scared.
If I had stayed in that state, I might have made an extreme choice.
I trembled slightly, looked at Sylvia, and bowed my head slightly to express my gratitude.
“Thank you… I think I’m okay now. And, if it’s not too much trouble, could you stay like this for a bit longer?”
“Ah, yes! Of course!”
I felt I should take a bit more advantage of her spell, so upon making the request, Sylvia nodded and agreed.
With the starlight shimmering from her hand resting on my head, I felt my previously tumultuous emotions gradually calm down.
My mind, which had been shrouded in darkness, felt clear again.
While that was happening, I felt Yoon Si-woo’s gaze fixed on me.
I turned my eyes towards him and saw he was looking at me with a worried expression.
Though I still felt some guilt, fortunately, it wasn’t as severe as before.
Nevertheless, thinking that I should still apologize, I slightly lowered my head and spoke.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t really okay until just now. I apologize.”
“…It’s fine.”
Even while accepting my apology, Yoon Si-woo still wore an expression filled with regret.
A slight smile formed on my lips.
How could I ease his feelings?
As I pondered, I opened my mouth once more.
“And, thank you for being considerate. If I had heard your words back then, today would have been way harder for me.”
“Ah… it’s nothing. Why should you thank me?”
“Anyway, you did it because you were thinking of me. Thank you.”
“…Yeah.”
Yoon Si-woo seemed embarrassed as his cheeks flushed, but perhaps he felt a bit cheered by my words, for his expression appeared much better than before.
Seeing him like that, I felt a weight lift off my heart and quietly smiled.
Then I noticed Yoon Si-woo chuckling too.
At that moment, I heard Sylvia’s voice, tinged with irritation.
“…Yoon Si-woo, why on earth are you smiling? You messed up big time.”
Both Yoon Si-woo and I turned to look at her at her words.
Sylvia, with a hand on my head, crossed her arms and shot a side glare at Yoon Si-woo as she mumbled.
“If that’s the case, you should have told me, not just Scarlet. We agreed to have discussions about Scarlet together. You’re guilty.”
“Ah. Th-that’s…”
Yoon Si-woo’s expression turned completely flustered.
Seeing his funny face, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, prompting Sylvia to look at me with a peculiar expression.
“…Scarlet, you didn’t do anything wrong either. It seems like Yoon Si-woo knows a lot of things, but why didn’t you say a word to me? Am I that untrustworthy?”
I swiftly shook my head at her sulky tone.
“…It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
“Then what is it? Every time I try to approach, you push me away, and even when I offer help, you refuse it. I wish you would clearly tell me your reasons.”
Her intense gaze made me smile ruefully.
I think I understood now.
No matter how hard I try to push her away, she wouldn’t give up and would come right back to me.
She seemed glued to me, insisting without letting go. So, I decided to share a bit of what was on my mind.
“I’m someone with a lot of issues, like you saw today. Since you’re gentle and kind-hearted, I thought that the closer you got to me, the more difficult it would be for you later.”
“…So you deliberately tried to stay away from me?”
As I nodded with a wry smile, Sylvia tilted her head slightly, as if she were dissatisfied.
“…Do you know what? Scarlet, you’re incredibly selfish.”
“Selfish?”
“Yes. You think too much about others and don’t consider how they feel at all. That’s really selfish.”
At her words, my shoulders flinched.
Those were the same words I had heard from a junior back when I worked at a company.
One time, our team had to take on quite a massive project.
If we succeeded, it would be a huge win.
But there was a shortage of personnel as well as time, and everyone was questioning whether we could finish it within the deadline.
During that time, I ended up working late for several days.
I probably hadn’t gone home for about two to three weeks.
Even when others were worried that I needed to take a break, I stubbornly insisted it was fine, believing I had to finish the work somehow.
Thanks to that, we completed the project on time, but afterward, possibly due to overwork, I fell sick.
There was no family to take care of me when I was ill, so I was left suffering alone, and my junior oddly brought supplies and came to visit me.
I recalled the conversation from that time.
“Excuse me.”
“Uh…? How did you get here…”
“What do you mean how? I came because I was worried since you said you were sick. So just rest when I tell you to rest… Do you think I can feel at ease when I have to come all the way to your house like this? You’re making me a nuisance.”
“Ahaha… You’re right. I’m sorry for unintentionally being a burden.”
“Ugh, it’s okay. Goodness, look at how you’re burning up… Ugh, you’re struggling with your work already, yet you’re taking on others’ responsibilities…”
“What can I do? I’m the only one who knows how to do that work. Besides, I need to go see my parents who had an accident.”
“No matter what, that’s not right… Who cares about helping others in this day and age? Are you a pushover?”
“A pushover? I don’t do that for someone I don’t like. It’s because he’s a good guy that I cared. He cares for his parents a lot; it’s only natural that I can’t just leave him be when he looks so down.”
“Seriously, being that nice to good people will just backfire on you. What if someone asked you to part with your intestines? Would you help them while laughing?”
“Well, if it’s truly someone in need, I might consider it a bit…”
“Crazy… You genuinely seem like someone who would offer even a limb. Hah, how can there still be people like you in this day and age…”
“Ahaha… I’m just joking, joking.”
“…By the way, why didn’t you ask me for help? Even when I offered, you refused, and now you’re like this, feeling sick… Why don’t you take care of yourself when you’re constantly looking out for others?”
“…You were busy with your own stuff. You weren’t even sleeping properly, so how could I ask you for help when you’re so tired… I know you’re struggling, so it’s better for me to suffer a bit more instead of being a burden.”
“…Do you know? You’re incredibly selfish.”
“…Really?”
“Yes, incredibly. You concern yourself with avoiding bothering others, yet don’t even consider their feelings. When I heard you were sick, I felt so guilty for not helping out, even if by force…”
“…I suppose that might be true. That’s just my nature. I can’t stand seeing someone suffer because of me, so I didn’t think about how it would affect you. I’m sorry…”
“…Didn’t I tell you repeatedly that women are particularly sensitive to anyone touching their heads? Don’t do that!”
“Ah, sorry… It’s a habit… I’ll really be more careful from now on…”
“…You don’t need to be careful with me, though. I’m used to it now. Just don’t do that with any other women. Never.”
“…Got it. Anyway, I was out of food, so I’m really thankful you came. You’ve saved me. I can take care of the rest, so you can go home now.”
“…Go home? After coming all the way for a visit?”
“…? You must’ve had a tough time working. You should go home and rest.”
“…You’re selfish and totally clueless. How did I end up with such a person? Ugh, fine. I’ll leave now, so take care of yourself!”
…Not long after that, I had come to this place, and I wondered how she was doing now.
I met her in college, and through a lucky chance, she ended up working in the company I joined, so we spent a lot of time together.
She treated me warmly and kindly, as if I were a little brother, and we became pretty close.
Now, having become like this, I wondered how the me from the original world was doing.
All I hoped was that even if I was gone, she wouldn’t be too sad and would carry on well.
While I was briefly reminiscing, our eyes met.
Sylvia moved closer, gazed directly into my eyes, and whispered near my ear.
“…You said that the closer I get to you, the more difficult it will get for me, right? That’s correct. If something happens to you, I’ll definitely have a hard time. I might even cry for several days.”
“Then…”
“But.”
But with that ‘but’, I felt her grip tighten on my hand even more.
Sylvia looked at me with unwavering eyes and spoke in a steady voice.
“But one thing is certain. If something were to happen to you and I couldn’t do anything about it, I will be far worse off. So, I’m going to start acting a little selfishly now.”
“…Selfishly, you mean.”
“From now on, even if you try to refuse my help, I’ll go ahead and help regardless. Consider this a threat. Do you understand? If you don’t want to see me crying like a baby, then you better lean on me a little more.”
Sylvia said this with a bright smile.
It was a frightening threat that I couldn’t refuse, so I could only bitterly nod my head.
Upon that, Sylvia displayed a truly happy expression.
As she detached from me, the hand that had been perched on my head also fell away.
The warm sensation that had been calming my emotions dissipated.
Suddenly, I felt a sense of loss.
And in the next moment, as if reacting instinctively, I grabbed her hand that was about to withdraw and placed it back on my head.
It was an action taken entirely subconsciously.
I raised my gaze slightly, and Sylvia was staring at me with wide, surprised eyes.
A wave of embarrassment washed over me, and I released her hand while stammering.
“Ah… no, it’s just that when I thought the spell would be over, I felt a loss without realizing it…! I’m sorry!”
“Heh…”
Hearing her peculiar sound, I looked forward to see Sylvia wearing an expression that seemed pleased with a mischievous smile.
“Heh, I see…? So you felt a loss? Makes sense. Since you had a tough day, you definitely need my spell. Ah, this is unavoidable. Truly unavoidable.”
Muttering that, Sylvia took out her mobile phone and dialed a number.
“Yes, Sebastian. It’s me. Something really important has come up today, so I think I’ll need to stay at a friend’s house. It’s truly important, so please keep my schedule clear until the afternoon tomorrow. Okay.”
[Wait a second, Miss?! Miss?! Don’t tell me that friend is a male?!]
…Is this really okay?
I could hear Sebastian’s agonized voice over the phone, but Sylvia smiled brightly, as if it didn’t bother her at all, and said to me.
“Alright, Scarlet. There’s no need to feel lost! Now we have plenty of time for spells, so let’s sleep together tonight!”
“Uh… sleep over?”
Yoon Si-woo, who had been listening beside us, spoke with a startled expression.
Sylvia looked at Yoon Si-woo with a mischievous grin and asked a question.
“Why? Are you envious that I’m sleeping with Scarlet?”
“E-envious?! What do you mean?!”
“Yes, I’d expect as much. Anyway, Scarlet, if you need a spell, just let me know! I’ll weave it all night long!”
Well, my opinion…
I thought I would like to voice it, but seeing Sylvia looking fantastically excited, I had no choice but to lie down with her peacefully.
“Well then, goodnight, Sylvia.”
“Goodnight, Scarlet.”
At first, the thought of sleeping alongside Sylvia made me extremely nervous.
“…I’m happy. Knowing that Scarlet would depend on me like this.”
Whether it was because of the spell or the warmth of her hand stroking my head.
That night, I fell into a deep slumber quickly.
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