After hearing that I was okay from Silvia, I had to pull myself together again as tears burst forth once more.
While holding me and gently patting my back until I stopped crying, Silvia finally asked me a question when I seemed to have calmed down a bit.
“Um, Scarlet. Can I ask you something… is this the first time you’ve experienced such symptoms?”
“What symptoms are you talking about?”
“The symptoms where you seem to lose your senses, like today. I was wondering if you’ve ever experienced anything like this aside from today…”
Seeing Silvia look worried made me lower my head slightly.
The truth was, there were many things I had been hiding from her.
I had only sought help from Yoon Si-woo.
I had resolved that in my heart.
Most of my issues arose from the witch dwelling inside me.
However, unlike Yoon Si-woo, who shared a close connection with the witch, Silvia had no ties to the witches beyond knowing that I was an experiment from her family.
Thus, I thought dragging her into matters related to the witch would only cause her trouble.
That’s why I tried to act as normal as possible in front of her, not wanting to burden her with my worries.
Knowing Silvia, if she knew I was struggling, she would definitely try to help me.
And until now, that had been the case, but now it had all turned into nothingness.
Somehow, I had spilled everything that happened today and even shown her my tearful side.
There was nothing I could do about it.
Letting out a small sigh inwardly, I replied to Silvia.
“…There have been somewhat similar symptoms, to be honest. There have been times when I’ve heard voices in my head telling me to burn things uncontrollably, and there were moments when I suddenly thought things that didn’t feel like they were mine. If that counts, then it’s not the first time.”
“…Then you’ve been experiencing those symptoms for a while?”
I slowly nodded my head at her question.
Silvia stiffened her expression and gasped.
As she briefly bit her lip, she muttered in a small voice.
“…So, has it been really hard for you all this time?”
Was it really that difficult?
After contemplating her question for a moment, I couldn’t bring myself to say no, so I simply forced a bitter smile.
Silvia looked as though she might cry at any moment and, in a trembling voice filled with self-reproach, she said.
“…I’m sorry. I had no idea. I never realized that you were having a hard time, Scarlet. I was always the one seeking comfort from you whenever I was in pain when we were living together in the mansion, and yet I didn’t even notice you were struggling…”
Seeing Silvia like that made my chest feel heavy.
This was why I didn’t want to share this with her.
After all, why should she feel sorry for me?
I hadn’t shown any signs of my troubles in front of her, so it didn’t make sense for her to notice the struggles I had been hiding inside.
Still, Silvia was sniffling with guilt, so I slowly stroked her head and said.
“You don’t need to feel sorry for me. I was managing well enough that there was no need to show it.”
“Then…”
With tears welling in her eyes as she looked at me, Silvia continued with a heavy tone.
“Then today means that you were in so much pain that it reached the point of you showing it, huh?”
I swallowed at her sharp observation.
She was right.
Today’s events were shocking enough that I couldn’t just overlook them.
Silvia seemed to take my reaction as an unspoken affirmation, and her expression turned even more sorrowful.
Then she bit her lip and with a firm voice, she said.
“…Then we have to find a solution to ensure something like today never happens again. Scarlet, do you have any idea why something like this happened today?”
I pondered for a moment at her words before answering.
“…I don’t really know. It was the first time I lost my senses completely and acted like this today. But if there’s a reason, I think it’s probably because I lost my magic when I left the barrier and returned…”
“Hmm… Is that really the reason? But that alone doesn’t seem convincing. After all, this isn’t the first time you’ve left and returned from the barrier. If the barrier were the cause, this should have happened before as well, but it didn’t, did it?”
“That’s true…”
I nodded in agreement.
As she pointed out, this was my third time leaving the barrier.
During the first two times, I had been fainting upon my return, but if leaving the barrier alone was the cause, I would have lost my senses due to magic depletion then too.
Yet, no matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t pinpoint anything.
There hadn’t been anything particularly special happening to me, except for when I lost an arm and leg?
But that didn’t seem like a reasonable cause…
As I kept thinking deeply, Silvia muttered.
“There might be some other reason that Scarlet doesn’t know about. Does Yoon Si-woo have any inkling of what’s going on? After all, you two are living together.”
Silvia, who had been mumbling, turned to Yoon Si-woo and asked.
But I thought there wouldn’t be any valuable insight from him.
I didn’t have any guesses, so it was unlikely that Yoon Si-woo would.
Besides, even if there was something, I thought he would’ve told me as the person involved.
That’s why it was all the more shocking.
“…Well, I do have some thoughts, but…”
The hesitant words from Yoon Si-woo caught me off guard.
As I blankly stared at him, our eyes met, and I could see him wearing a complicated expression.
Then, like a kid caught doing something bad, Yoon Si-woo flinched and turned away, continuing to speak in a small voice.
“…The other day, I had a conversation with the witch who briefly took control of Scarlet’s body. At the time, it didn’t seem like she had any ill intentions, so I let it slide… but anyway, I think what happened is a sign that Scarlet is getting even closer to the witch than before. Perhaps the reason for the different phenomena emerging is because of that…”
“…That happened.”
Silvia looked surprised at Yoon Si-woo‘s revelation.
I was shocked too.
The realization that something like that had occurred without my knowledge was extremely surprising and also frightening.
However, what filled my heart right now wasn’t surprise or fear.
It was disappointment and betrayal.
“…Why didn’t you tell me about that?”
From my question, I could see Yoon Si-woo diverting his gaze.
It was the day I had been in pain.
I remembered how Yoon Si-woo, who had talked to me before going out, reacted oddly when I asked him what had happened.
But since Yoon Si-woo had replied that it was nothing, I trusted him and let it pass without thinking too much.
Yet to think that such a thing happened and he was hiding it from me…
The person I trusted most in this world was none other than Yoon Si-woo.
Because I trusted him that much, I felt even more betrayed.
He knew better than anyone how worried I was about the witch inside me.
Yet, the fact that he hid something that happened to me, the very person affected, was unacceptable.
With the emotions that had already been stirred up and barely calmed down after everything that had happened today mixing in with these new feelings, I felt my breath quickening.
As my breath quickened, heat rose in my head, and something surged up from my chest.
The swelling emotion scratched at my throat and burst out like a sharp sound.
“Of all people… if something like this happened, at least you should have told me!”
Seeing my angry outburst, Yoon Si-woo made a pained expression, as if he had been stabbed.
Why are you making that face?
I’m the one who’s hurt because of your actions.
With a sense of injustice, tears stung my eyes.
Unable to hide those feelings, I sobbed as I called out to Yoon Si-woo.
“…Why did you hide this from me? Why, why didn’t you tell me?”
To which Yoon Si-woo, contorting his expression, murmured.
“…If you knew that something like this happened, you would have been in pain, Scarlet.”
That left me breathless.
“…In a situation where there are already so many things to worry about, I thought it was obvious you would be scared to hear that the witch had temporarily taken over your body. So, I tried to hide it to reduce the burden on you a little… but hearing it now, I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry…”
“Ah…”
As Yoon Si-woo spoke, the heat within me chilled, bringing me back to reality.
I saw him with his head down.
As the heat in my head cooled, my hands and feet began to tremble instead.
This isn’t how it should be.
Yoon Si-woo was simply trying to take care of me.
It was I who needed to apologize.
I was the one who was not realizing that he was only trying to look out for me.
Nausea rose within me.
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