### Chapter: 186
In a dark room with blackout curtains drawn tight,
a musty stench mingled with the scent of sweat,
and clothes and lunch boxes lay strewn across the mess of a floor.
On the bed, a woman lay beneath a heap of blankets.
Her unkempt hair was tangled, and her eyes, barely focused, peeked through the strands.
“Kr, Kraush, is that really you?”
Mary mumbled, disoriented by Kraush’s appearance as a woman.
She had opened the door absentmindedly when she heard Kraush had come, but the reality was too shocking.
Kraush gazed at her for a moment before speaking.
“Yeah, I popped over since you showed up at my place.”
Mary’s shoulders tensed.
Only Kraush knew she had visited his room.
In that moment, she became certain that the person before her was the real Kraush, and she bit her lip tightly.
The moment she let go, tears would likely start pouring down.
“Mary.”
Kraush placed the lunchbox that Karandis had given him onto the desk and moved closer.
“What did Sigrid say?”
The day she met Kraush, Mary had resolved to forever leave Sigrid behind.
So there was no reason for her to break down like this even if she had just fought with her.
But Mary looked visibly shattered.
This meant Sigrid must have said something devastating that had truly brought Mary down.
Mary’s eyes flickered uneasily, holding deep sorrow within.
“…Even if I tell you, you wouldn’t understand, Kraush.”
Wouldn’t understand.
The moment she said that, Kraush figured out Sigrid must have mentioned something from before the regression.
Mary didn’t know that Kraush had regressed alongside them.
So she thought sharing it with Kraush would be pointless.
Kraush watched her silently for a moment, aware of another truth that Mary didn’t know.
The Arthur that existed in Mary’s memories was no longer in this world.
This was something neither Mary nor even Sigrid knew yet.
And this fact could serve as a card that would utterly break her.
Even if her connection with Sigrid crumbled, Arthur would still linger in her heart.
“Is that so?”
Kraush nonchalantly replied to Mary’s words and pulled out a chair to sit.
Seeing this, Mary’s eyes stirred nervously.
“I-I’m sorry. You came all this way for me, and I’m just saying…”
Hastily, she apologized, revealing her fragile state.
She was extremely anxious, fearing that Kraush might harbor ill feelings toward her.
After all, he was the only one who supported her.
Kraush stood in her heart above Sigrid, and she dreaded the idea of upsetting him.
Having lived her life as a knight who served someone else,
that deeply-rooted aspect threaded through her being never seemed to fade—even after regression.
“No, there’s always a possibility to say something you can’t.”
Kraush smiled kindly, as if telling her not to worry.
“If you don’t want to talk, there’s no need to. That’s your choice, Mary. I just came here because I heard you were holed up after arguing with Sigrid.”
He made it clear that he had come out of pure concern rather than to pry.
The moment Mary heard those words, something welled up inside her.
Even trapped in her own room, Mary was well aware of the turmoil outside.
She understood that Sigrid’s personality meant that she would definitely push Mary into a corner.
She’d seen it happen countless times before, after all.
Of course, Mary never dreamed that such a terrible habit of Sigrid would turn towards her.
Still, Mary could easily guess that her own evaluation must have plummeted to unprecedented depths.
Perhaps that’s why Kraush’s words of concern struck deep in her heart.
It felt as if he was the only one who acknowledged her in this completely abandoned island of despair.
He must have known just how badly her situation had become.
That he even went so far as to show up in a woman’s form just to check on her was something he did out of kindness.
“Ugh, waah!”
Before long, tears began to trickle down Mary’s cheeks.
Seeing this, Kraush pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket.
“Why are you crying?”
“I-I’m sorry. I just… started crying out of nowhere…”
Already broken inside, the moment Kraush wiped her tears, they came pouring down even more.
For a few minutes, Mary sobbed to the point of being distraught.
Finally, when her tears subsided, she took a drink of water that Kraush poured for her.
As she gulped it down, she felt her throat finally clear up.
At the same time, she felt extremely embarrassed.
Here she was, a grown adult, bawling her eyes out.
Not to mention she had never cried like this even during her time as a knight.
As she lowered her flushed face, Kraush chuckled lightly.
“Are you done crying?”
“Y-Yeah.”
Mary, feeling a bit sheepish, answered while fidgeting with her feet.
She felt like crawling into a mouse hole right then and there.
“Well, looks like you’re feeling a bit lighter.”
Kraush remarked and seemed like he would get up and leave.
“W-Wait a second!”
At that moment, Mary, startled, grabbed the hem of Kraush’s shirt.
She didn’t want to let him go just like that.
Being near him gave her comfort, and if he left, she would surely drown in anxiety again.
Kraush turned to look at her, and Mary flinched, avoiding eye contact.
“C-Can we just stay for a little longer? I have a few things I want to talk about.”
“Weren’t those things you said you couldn’t talk about?”
Mary bit her lip at Kraush’s concern for her.
His warm heart made her chest swell with emotions.
To think someone like her was being considered this much was overwhelming.
It was a treatment entirely different from Sigrid, who had always seen her as merely a pawn.
“I-I’m fine! If it’s you, Kraush, it’s okay to talk!”
So, desperate to show her appreciation for that kindness, Mary shouted loudly.
She feared that her true feelings might not reach him, hence her voice erupted.
Kraush, who had been looking at Mary, then plopped down beside her.
“Okay then. If it makes you feel better, talk away.”
Kraush’s kind words filled Mary’s muddled insides once again.
She felt that without this comfort, she would struggle throughout her life.
Softly, she began her story starting with the name A instead of Arthur.
A had always been her staunch ally wielding a spear right at the frontlines—sometimes even felt like a rival.
They always fought for the top two spots, burning with rivalry.
Perhaps that was why she sometimes felt jealousy towards A.
The desire to surpass him fueled her training even more fiercely.
But gradually, the gap between her and A widened.
And she hated it, which made her strive even harder to catch up.
Eventually, however, Mary, with her Divine Body, made a grave mistake during a combat simulation due to overexertion.
In a life-or-death moment that nearly claimed her life, A appeared.
Seeing him, battered and bruised yet still saving her, shook her deep inside.
The ally she’d perceived as a rival had awoken her feelings of love towards him.
But A was Sigrid’s lover.
While trying to suppress her growing affection,
she finally confronted him to put an end to her feelings.
To confess honestly, only to get rejected.
But out of the blue, A demanded a spar.
For some reason, the duel began under the moonlit sky.
During that fight, Mary felt herself getting to know A more intimately.
A was strong.
But that power didn’t come easily; he had put in countless hours of effort.
When the duel ended, Mary found herself kneeling before him.
For she realized she could not defeat him.
A, breathless, spoke to Mary.
“Mary, I want to protect this world.”
Those words felt like the first real glimpse into his heart.
“And I want to be with you in that world.”
His next words made her heart race wildly.
As she inadvertently confessed instead of answering him directly,
A smiled and accepted her confession.
Fortunately, Sigrid had accepted her becoming A’s lover as well.
A had persuaded her several times beforehand.
Feeling A’s genuine feelings, Mary vowed to live her life for him.
But a few days ago,
she received a thunderous revelation through Sigrid.
“Do you really think Arthur genuinely likes you?”
With disdain and contempt in her eyes, Sigrid crushed Mary’s spirit.
“The only reason the Lord chose you is that you’re useful. You’re just the best meat shield!”
The original Mary would have outright denied such words.
She was the proud spear of the Empire, after all.
But now, she wasn’t the same.
Her heart had been torn apart long ago, leaving only chaos.
Her self-esteem had shattered, and feelings of complete isolation loomed over her.
In that moment, when her loyalty to Sigrid had faltered and her love for Arthur became clouded,
Sigrid’s words felt like an irretrievable nail driven into her heart.
“Do you think the Lord would love who you are now? Without being a knight, you’re nothing! You can just hide in the corner, mourning the Lord while waiting forever! Just how long do you think the Lord will come for you?”
“No, no! Arthur, he… he will!”
As Mary screamed, Sigrid looked at her wearily, having let all her emotions spill out.
There was no longer a reflection of Mary in her eyes.
Instead, Sigrid turned away, leaving behind her worthless self.
In that broken state, she was now useless anywhere.
Once you lose your worth, you get tossed away.
And so, Sigrid walked out the door.
“Geez, useless girl. You can’t even birth the cursed child.”
With those words slicing through her heart, Sigrid opened the door.
“I should’ve just let you die back then.”
Watching Sigrid leave, Mary crumbled completely that day.
Staying cooped up in her room, never to step out again.
“It’s all my fault… If I hadn’t been useless, if I had just tried harder… it would’ve been fine.”
After hearing all of Mary’s story, Kraush fell into contemplative silence.
‘She’s not wrong about what she said.’
Even Kraush had to admit that Sigrid’s words weren’t entirely false.
[ Get a hold of yourself before your face gives away your agreement. ]
Just then, Crimson Garden, seemingly lurking just outside the dormitory window, noticed Kraush’s distracted demeanor and chimed in.
Snapping back to reality, Kraush corrected his expression.
“Don’t worry too much about those who see you as a pawn.”
Mary looked at Kraush with shaken eyes.
“The important thing is you. The Mary Diana I know isn’t that weak.”
Kraush chuckled lightly as he gestured outside.
“Honestly, how many of those outside are even close to being your match?”
Mary’s strength was beyond reproach.
In fact, if it weren’t for Kraush, there were hardly any who could truly match Mary’s might in Lahern Academy.
“It’s a place where only the high-flyers gather. If you say you’re useless, then there’s hardly anyone valuable out there.”
As he spoke, Kraush reached up to untangle Mary’s messy hair.
With every touch, her body flinched.
“So, stop beating yourself up over it.”
As she felt her hair loosen under Kraush’s hands, he slightly bent toward her.
Then, resting his elbows on his knees, he wore a smile.
“I’ll take care of anyone who belittles you.”
That smile was so enchanting that it almost wiped Sigrid from her memory entirely.
Moreover, it felt like the tangled threads in Mary’s heart were suddenly unraveling.
The one who loosened those threads was none other than the person sitting right in front of her.
“So get out already.”
Mary felt the prick of tears welling up again.
“You don’t belong here.”
Kraush stood up from his seat, gazing down at Mary through the torrent of tears.
“Honestly, if it gets tough…”
As Mary raised her head to meet Kraush’s gaze, she found herself immersed in those eyes.
Sunlight, filtering gently through the curtains, illuminated Kraush’s face.
“Caw!”
At that moment, a crow’s caw from somewhere echoed outside, and a gust of wind whipped through, tousling the blackout curtains.
Suddenly, bright sunlight poured into the room, illuminating Kraush more radiantly than ever.
It felt as if he shone brighter than the stars.
Crack—
At that instant, the final dial broke.
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