Chapter: 160
As I etched Lucy’s words deep into my heart while heading back to my dorm, I couldn’t help but notice that Phoebe’s eyes were still puffy, but she had an utterly unsuppressible goofy grin plastered across her face.
From a young age, she had been drilled to maintain the dignity of a saintess, usually managing to keep a calm expression. But today, that was unavoidable.
Even now, her mind played back one particular line repeatedly.
“I don’t care what you’ve done. Either way, you’re a pathetic saintess.”
When Phoebe first heard her being called a pathetic saintess, she felt uncomfortable. After all, it’s not every day someone openly insults the saintess of the Divine Church right in front of her.
She was embarrassed, unsure of how to react. It felt like a jab at her shortcomings, and, to some extent, it made her a little angry.
But now, it was different.
For the current Phoebe, the term “pathetic saintess” was the most endearing phrase she could think of.
It wasn’t meant to belittle her; rather, it was a word of encouragement.
Lucy recognized that Phoebe was an impure being from the very beginning and still dared to question the mercy of the gods. Knowing all this, she still claimed Phoebe was deserving of being a saintess.
Reflecting on that moment, tears threatened to surface again, and she bit her lip hard.
Ugh, what do I do? My eyes are getting hot, and I can’t hold back!
If this spills, I might just drop to the ground and wail like I did in Lady Alrn’s room!
As these thoughts crossed her mind, Phoebe recalled her previous dramatic breakdown and covered her face with her hands.
Silly Phoebe. What on earth were you thinking there?!
The Apostle of Armadi should have expressed gratitude while apologizing for her wrongdoings, not burst into tears!
Her imagination conjured up images of herself sobbing, blubbering out apologies and thanks — such shaming imagery made her feel her tears evaporating out of sheer embarrassment.
Phoebe fanned her flushed face and sighed heavily.
Should I thank the heavens for stopping my crying?
I don’t think so. This shameful memory will surely haunt me for a long time.
Think of something else. I need to forget this memory.
Right, I’ll reflect once more on what Lady Alrn shared with me.
Following that train of thought might help me dull this humiliating memory.
Before leaving her room, Lucy told Phoebe that she needed to wait.
“I’m sure there’s a lot you don’t like about the pathetic scrap of a church. With your clueless self wandering around as a pathetic saintess, there must be plenty on your mind. But now’s not the time. If you rush it, things could get dangerous.”
Lucy hadn’t elaborated on what she meant by “dangerous,” but Phoebe could guess.
If she acted carelessly, she could be wiped out by the Divine Church.
It seemed the Divine Church was a far darker place than she realized.
While Phoebe was someone who believed in and followed the light, she didn’t think every person in the church was virtuous. Where there is light, there must be shadows.
However, the darkness within the Divine Church was far larger and more systematic than Phoebe had imagined. It could be capable of swallowing the light whole.
Thinking back, it all made sense. They fabricated the words of a nonexistent god and elevated a no-nothing like her as a saintess.
This darkness must be so profound that one could hardly see a single step ahead.
…If Lady Alrn hadn’t told me to wait, how would I have acted?
Imagining that scenario wasn’t hard for Phoebe.
If she had faced that truth without Lucy, the Apostle of Armadi, she would have instantly charged forth to drive out the darkness without hesitation.
She would have fought to create the church she envisioned, even if that meant losing her own neck in the process.
That was her belief, being chosen as Armadi’s saintess.
But now, Phoebe felt no such impulse. Lucy, the Apostle of Armadi, advised her to wait.
Listening to the voice of a god and receiving divine love from her meant that Lucy’s words aligned with Armadi’s intent.
Surely, the wise and benevolent Armadi foresaw the distant future and prepared something, so Phoebe felt no reason to doubt and simply follow along.
Keeping those thoughts in mind began to ease Phoebe’s mood, and she withdrew her hands from her face to clench her fists.
Alright. Now, I’ll head back to the dorm, wash up…
“Lady Alrn?”
At the call of her name, Phoebe instinctively turned her head to see an old acquaintance, a girl who had always looked up to her.
“Ah… Cough. Hello.”
As she prepared to greet her with the usual warmth, Phoebe was taken aback by her hoarse voice and cleared her throat before smiling in response.
Just how loudly had she cried in front of Lady Alrn to make her voice sound like this?
If she’d known, she would’ve cast a recovery spell on her throat while leaving! She was way out of her depth.
“Are you alright?”
“Huh?”
Realizing what that concerned look was about, Phoebe tilted her head and instantly understood it was a reaction to her current appearance.
Given how rough she looked, it was only natural for others to worry.
“Of course! I’m fine!”
So, Phoebe nodded vigorously, putting on her most trustworthy expression.
Right now, she felt better than she had in ages, and that was the absolute truth.
Still, the girl’s worried face didn’t seem to ease up.
Does she think I’m just acting tough? I’m genuinely fine!
Phoebe wanted to assure the girl, but every word she tried to say in her croaky voice seemed to reinforce the misunderstanding.
*
“How unfair!”
I often grumble about feeling misunderstood, but this time it’s no exaggeration.
I truly felt wronged.
Why on earth did the rumor spread across the entire academy that I was bullying Phoebe?!
I genuinely can’t understand this!
Isn’t this just… weird? What in the world have I done to her?!
I helped her regain her confidence after she almost broke down upon realizing she was a fake saintess.
And just in case she decided to do something reckless, I advised her to stay put and wait it out.
I haven’t done anything but look out for her — so why am I now the rumored bully?!
The source of this rumor was none other than Visi.
This morning, on the way back from training, he approached me and casually asked, “Lady Alrn. Did you do something to the saintess?”
So I responded that I hadn’t done anything, and he confirmed what he already suspected, recounting what he’d heard.
Apparently, the rumor going around among the students was that I had taken Phoebe to my room and abused her.
When I first heard that, I was so shocked I couldn’t even find words!
But upon reflection, I could see where the assumption was coming from.
After all, when Phoebe left my room, she looked like a mess, her eyes all puffy and her hair a total wreck, with a hoarse voice?
That certainly raises eyebrows, right?
This speculation was only fueled further when I confronted Avery.
According to her, my reputation has gone from “capable and pleasantly tempered noble kid” to “the most infamous trash who can’t shake off her bad habits.”
Seeing Avery trembling as she struggled to explain made my irritation boil over, and I couldn’t hold back.
“Were you just standing there and listening? Really? What should I do? My incompetent noble self is about to spill the beans!”
“N-No! I was doing my best to defend you, Lady Alrn! Really! But the rumor didn’t start among the nobles, so I had my limits! Please believe me!”
Whether Avery desperately tried to defend me or laughed secretly while people talked trash, somehow this rumor began to spread rapidly throughout the academy.
By the time classes started, it was just a rumor known among acquaintances, but as classes progressed, word spread even further.
And by the time lunch rolled around, almost everyone was aware of it.
So, to put it plainly, I was now being painted as the infamous scumbag who bullied the saintess of the Divine Church, backed by overwhelming support.
‘People’s eyes are pricking me like needles.’
Ever since I invaded Lucy’s body, I got used to those hostile glances, but this was a bit more serious.
At least the noble clique led by Joy refrained from the insults, but everyone else made no effort to conceal their disdain.
Bullying the idol Phoebe was a serious matter.
And here I was, having done absolutely nothing to harm her!
[Won’t it blow over with time? If Phoebe clears things up, it’ll be resolved.]
‘Will Phoebe really clear things up?’
I could already see the scenario unraveled in my mind.
Even if Phoebe explained that I hadn’t done anything, people would simply think, “Wow! The saintess forgives even those who harm her!”
There would undoubtedly be plenty of folks thinking, “Someone must punish that trash!”
Ugh, I hadn’t considered that!
If I’d known this would happen, I would have just composed myself after crying and sent Phoebe on her way.
But regretting it now doesn’t change what has already happened.
Sigh. What can I say? I might as well get used to it. People scowling at me isn’t something new.
Even while cutting my steak, the stares don’t seem to let up; I might choke on my meal, seriously.
Strange. The steak is tender, and the sauce is delicious, so I should feel good, right? Why does my mood sink every time I chew the meat?
“Lady Alrn.”
At the call of my name, I turned my head to see a remorseful Phoebe right in front of me.
“May I join you for a meal?”
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