Chapter: 130
He thought to himself as he slouched in a leather chair that seemed way too expensive for the Captain of the Guards, pulling out his pipe.
It was a fancy magical tool he had managed to get for a steep price, recently trending among the nobility.
Chick.
While he was lighting it with a tool that only produced a matchstick flame.
Knock knock.
A light knock echoed.
“Captain, the Captain of the Guard’s Wife is here to see you.”
“Tell her I’m too busy to meet right now.”
“…Yes, understood.”
He frowned and let out a sigh.
“Tsk, she should be more obedient like when we got married…”
The Captain’s wife was said to be a beautiful village girl from the neighboring town. Not only was she skilled in housework, but she also prepared warm water to wash her husband’s feet when he returned home.
Yet, knowing it was rude, she had come all the way to the Captain’s workplace because of his infidelity.
Shortly after their wedding, she became pregnant. She felt on top of the world, but misfortune came knocking too easily.
As her belly grew and she had refused to sleep with her husband for a week for the sake of the baby, horrible noises came from the next room.
Her husband had brought in a prostitute and was getting it on in the next room. Even seeing his wife collapse in shock, the husband didn’t stop, leading her to a tragic miscarriage.
As she wept at the blood that flowed between her legs, the Captain blamed her for not being able to keep a child and after hitting her, said they should have another kid.
At this point, the distraught woman threatened to kill herself with a knife pressed to her neck if the Captain didn’t come clean. Losing the woman he had so lavishly paid for was one problem, but if his wife’s body turned up at home, it would create a huge uproar in public opinion.
If those eyeing the Captain’s position caught wind of this, he might have to give it up.
While the Captain swung his fists to subdue her, no one was as strong as a mother who lost her child.
She drove the knife deep enough to draw blood steadily, indicating she really might take her life, and the Captain had no choice but to let her go.
It was an arrogant thought, based on the idea that she couldn’t run very far.
What he hadn’t expected was that her family was wealthier than he initially thought. He had completely forgotten how he had crawled to the ground, willing to give everything to woo her at the time.
Having run back to her family, she didn’t exactly receive a warm welcome. At that time, society didn’t look kindly on women who left their husbands. If anything, she was scolded for not accepting her husband’s infidelity.
But that was where the scolding ended. Her doting father eventually comforted her, urging her to divorce the garbage husband.
While divorce was legally permitted in the Empire, very few actually went through with it. The fees needed to be paid to the country for the legal divorce were quite hefty. Luckily for her, her family was wealthy enough to cover the cost easily.
A woman who had lost her purity and experienced a miscarriage would find it nearly impossible to marry again, but her striking looks might allow her to find new love.
To get the divorce, both spouses needed to agree and sign the divorce papers. If the papers weren’t drawn up, she would be eternally tied to the Captain, and they would end up living together indefinitely.
This was why she had come here, accompanied by many guards from her home, to obtain the divorce paperwork.
The Captain thought her actions were nothing more than a whim or a ploy to gain control over their marriage.
“I’ll make sure to give her a proper talking-to when we get home.”
He took a puff of his pipe, picturing his pretty wife’s face.
A terrifying scenario unfolded that was unimaginable in the world of gags!
The Gag Filter began to activate intensely around the Captain, now recognized as an “enemy” by Lian.
Kwang!
“Hey, you son of a b!”
“Huh?”
Enhanced by the Gag Filter (+99), the Captain’s wife burst in, smashing the door in half while wielding a frying pan. The Captain stared blankly at her.
Her once innocent face now looked fearsome enough to evoke thoughts of a monster. Strange white smoke rose inexplicably from the frying pan in her hands.
Behind her, the secretary and guards lay sprawled out with multiple bumps on their heads.
“What’s going on… What are you doing?”
The Captain stammered in shock.
Thud! Boom! Thud!
Every step the Captain’s typically light and delicate wife took shook the building.
Dust…
For some reason, dust particles were falling in a room that was spotless.
The simple wooden chandelier hanging from the ceiling swung weakly side to side.
Bang!
As she strode right up to the desk, she pulled out a white paper and slammed it down with force.
“Sign here.”
“Wha-? Why should I?”
Her voice was cold and unfamiliar, yet the Captain didn’t feel fear. Instead, his dazed mind returned and he looked at his wife with a smirk.
“Do you even know how much I spent to bring you here? Back then, you were all about accepting it, and now you want a divorce?”
Having been raised to cozy up to her husband after errands and to pride herself in raising children wisely, she had a good grasp on economic concepts too. All the expensive gifts he had given her so far had been sold and exchanged for property as part of her dowry.
Now those properties were under her husband’s name, meaning she had actually received nothing financially.
Feeling her blood boil at his attitude of only thinking about what he gave, she felt intense anger rising.
Without the Gag Filter, she would probably be curled up in a corner weeping, but she was currently in the state of ‘Auntie,’ renowned as the world’s strongest being. And that made her the wife of a son of a b.
A hallmark of an unfaithful husband’s wife would be a tendency towards harshness that rivaled that of a general.
For that reason, she was now in a state of empowerment, both mentally and physically, to the extent that she was called the ‘strongest.’
“Do what I say and stop talking so much!”
As she swung the frying pan in her hand, the Captain tried to grab her wrist lightly, fearing it might break.
Crack!
But her hand moved like a ghost, infused with some remarkable skill, and bang, she brought it down on his head.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“Do you think being obedient makes you some easy mark?”
“Uh, cough! Ah! S-stop… hack!”
Kwang!
With every hit, his face leaned further forward, until it finally slammed down on the desk with a thud. Blood trickled down his face. Then, a delicate hand, gloved in white, seized his hair and lifted him.
With a face that looked every bit the fiend, she spoke to her husband, who was bleeding from his nose.
“What are you gonna say now, you son of a b?”
“Hah… gag… how dare you…”
Kwang!
“Is that still not enough, huh?”
Slamming the Captain’s face into the desk caused it to split in half.
“Ugh…”
He staggered, feeling dizzy as he planted his hands on the floor. Embarrassment surged, and he tried to draw his sword. Just at that moment…
Snatch!
“What what?!”
“Yahhh!”
She wrapped her legs around his waist and began spinning. In the dark fantasy world, the incredible speed at which she moved made it impossible to see him.
“Gaaah! S-save me…!”
He couldn’t finish his sentence, for she had let go of him halfway through.
Crash!
He crashed through the window, plummeting outside. In the gag world, it’d be like a single step down, but here, even a broken bone wouldn’t be surprising!
Fortunately, the Captain fell on the street below without serious injury, but…
“Ugh…”
Both his legs snapped like twigs as she held onto them, rendering him unable to stand.
Thud thud…
The Captain, his face pale as a sheet, looked up at his wife coming down from above. She still held the frying pan in her hand. The once dainty body that had just been arranging flower arrangements now looked like a muscle-bound warrior from years of training.
Her face also seemed to swim with some altered style.
“Hey.”
“You monstrous woman…! You demon!”
“Looks like you still haven’t come to your senses!”
The Captain, caught in the middle of the street in a Cobra Twist (a wrestling move) by his wife, found himself shedding tears pathetically. It was a moment where his influence diminished in multiple meanings.
“Oh wow… Just a couple’s fight, huh? Scary.”
Lian, along with Iris and Jess, who had been out gathering supplies, visibly shuddered as they caught sight of the Captain getting clobbered.
“A couple’s fight? Is that really…?”
Iris’s eyes were filled with confusion.
“Master’s fight!”
Jess, enjoying the chaos, commented that it was much like a struggle for leadership in a pack.
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