Send the precious child on a journey.
Below the ground, a sharp thorny pathway lies open, and behind, molten iron flows in, a hard journey.
On the path, set high signposts for the child to see.
Lift up the child’s trembling legs that try to sit down even forcibly, and a splendid signpost that can gently push the body to keep moving.
So, one by one.
On the day when the child overcomes all the hardships and adversity that everyone said would make them give up, despite the legs being all swollen and blisters on their hands.
We, who quietly watched from behind, will experience the glorious moment when a swan flies through the vast sky.
At that time.
“I, too, will set out on a journey.”
My life will come to a conclusion.
─Thud.
“Once upon a time, two seeds flew to me riding the wind.”
The last sight of the emaciated seeds, which were mashed up and showing their pale insides.
Alice carefully planted each seed she had chosen, completing that labor that took a long time.
Warm and silent laughter full of infinite affection.
Alice’s smile that had come toward us was now directed at the various peaks rising above the field.
Thud, thud.
Softly tapping the small mounds of soil with her bare hands, unprotected.
Alice’s story began, like the song of a bard starting a grand epic.
Or, like the narration explaining the background of a long play about to begin.
It began with a small monologue.
“Because I have a warm heart and soul that can understand the pain of others, I thought those two seeds can bloom into the most beautiful and splendid flowers.”
“……”
“…Yes. Flowers that will grow fresher than my favorite white baby’s breath, and brighter than the five-petal cistus.”
Even if I try my hardest to hold on.
With my insignificant strength, planting those two was overwhelming.
Alice, with a dreamy gaze as if recalling the distant past, did a peculiar dance while murmuring stories of the past in a strangely mature and mysterious voice.
Spinning,
Suddenly turning her walking steps, Alice reached out her fingertips toward the empty space before her.
Hop.
When she passed through the field, she jumped over as if crossing a narrow stream with no obstacles in sight.
That sight resembled a person standing in the present recalling memories of the past one by one.
“……”
Or, it looked like the last struggles of someone who would soon disappear.
Yet, regardless of my gaze as if seeing the immeasurable,
Despite my silent cries begging for her to stop and return to her original self.
“But the two seeds were destined to be crushed by someone if left alone, or to fall into a dark valley where no light could enter.”
“…Uh, uh-huh. I see. Ha, haha.”
Alice’s incomprehensible behavior showed no signs of stopping, continuing to move up and down.
Why?
Why was she trying to plant only the seeds that looked rotten and would never grow?
Wouldn’t it be much better to plant the healthy seeds visible right next to her?
Instinctively pushing down the rising rejection, I asked Alice as naturally as possible.
If something had happened.
If she had any worries, to tell this sister.
That I would solve anything, no matter how.
‘…….’
‘…Alice?’
However, what returned to me was not any affirmation or denial, nor the reason or intention for her mysterious behavior.
‘─Sia unnie. I have a question.’
‘…Uh, yes?’
A response parallel to my question was Alice’s unexpected answer.
No.
Could that even be called an answer, where no intersection existed at all?
Naturally, I could not accept such a sudden situation, and Alice’s words never fully reached me.
Neither could I easily accept or realize the hidden feelings deep within her.
In the end, the only thing I could do was nod or offer lifeless responses to show Alice I was listening.
What on earth was happening?
I wet my dry lips with my tongue, continuing to mutter those meaningless words.
“Hey, hey, Sia unnie.”
“….Yeah?”
“─Isn’t it strange?”
Thud, stopping my footsteps.
For the first time, Alice, who had not taken anything in her view until now, looked up and met my eyes.
Against a teal background, vibrant flowers were blooming.
Alice’s eyes, painted in various colors, looked like they contained a blazing fire.
“Why was the battlefield filled with heat and the smell of blood where I was expecting a kind and warm future for the two seeds?”
“….Alice, wait. Let’s calm down for a second. I don’t quite understand what you’re saying─”
“─Why was it supposed to be like that for the two seeds, unnie.”
I don’t understand the meaning of those words.
I tried to say that, but Alice’s strong voice resonated and twisted my lips into silence.
“─I decided to grow flowers.”
Whoosh. The clouds passing under the sun above created a small shadow on the ground.
That shadow that flew freely in the air slowly darkened Alice’s surroundings without her notice.
In the space where the warm sunlight fell, I stood rigid.
In the small space where darkness descended, Alice stood alone.
The shadow of the steel structure existing between us clearly separated me and Alice like a boundary.
In the middle of the light touching the darkness, Alice, with loose sleeves fluttering, curled her lips up, showing me a lovely smile.
Yes.
Every morning when I opened my eyes, she used to show me.
That bright and radiant smile.
“……..”
But why does that look, which seems no different from usual, feel so frightening?
At this moment, I could not understand anything.
Thud,
Alice began to walk towards me slowly, her small footsteps echoing.
“I sprinkled fertilizer over the small dugout and watered the dry soil to moisten it.”
As she took her first step, Alice’s voice began to rise.
“Just in case they might feel lonely, I sang day and night and caressed the tender cotyledons. ─All for those seeds.”
When she took her second step, a hint of tears began to mix into Alice’s voice.
“So eventually, those flowers grew vigorously, so beautiful that I could firmly believe all the animals in the world would look up to their beauty.”
As she took her third and fourth steps, Alice’s sobbing voice shook uncontrollably.
And─
─Thud.
Her last, final step.
“But, but you see.”
Alice stood right before the shadow of the long steel structure.
At a distance where her hand could almost reach it, she stopped and didn’t come any closer.
As if there was a transparent glass wall in front of her.
Or as if saying this line she could never cross.
Watching that scene, I somehow felt the distance between Alice and me had widened by the thickness of that line drawn in between.
Despite being close enough for just a hand’s reach,
Alice felt so far away now.
“After beautifully wrapping up everything, I was trying to send those children back to where they naturally belonged.”
“……..”
“But suddenly, multiple stems grabbed my legs tightly! Hahahahaha!”
“……..”
“Sia unnie, isn’t it strange? It’s strange, so strange!”
She exclaimed loudly,
Alice mimicked a ghost, flapping her sleeves to scare me.
But what was so funny about my frozen reaction that I couldn’t even respond? Alice stared at my face and burst into a huge smile that seemed to take her breath away.
Her smiling mouth was more wide than ever.
Yet Alice’s eyes reflected nothing but sorrow.
No.
“Haha, hahaha…”
Rather, it looked like she was crying.
Alice said,
“Don’t go, don’t let me out. I want to stay in this greenhouse forever.”
“I can’t do anything anymore.”
…Continuing.
“I just wanted to hide the petals meant to be praised by everyone away in a little garden and live with me.”
“I have nothing left for them.”
…Not stopping..
“Just keep saying that.”
“……..”
With each line she finished, Alice’s voice grew fainter.
But that tremor and instability grew stronger, and I instinctively sensed that Alice’s long speech would soon come to an end.
“What should I do.”
“Hey, hey, answer me, unnie.”
“What should I say to them?”
“……..”
And.
I felt that the moment of my choice had finally come.
Someone said,
If we stare into the abyss for too long, the abyss will stare back at us.
Therefore, those who fight monsters must be careful not to become a monster themselves.
And if one lacks the strength to fight, they shouldn’t create an encounter with monsters in the first place.
But.
“Huh? Sia unnie?”
“……..”
But beneath that deep well, which had lost even the brightness of light.
What existed in that place, where everyone said monsters were hiding, was merely a girl with a sad expression, staring at me with her legs neatly together in the darkness.
With a sorrowful expression, as if craving salvation, the child reached out her hand towards me.
In front of that outstretched hand.
“I am─”
I had to.
I had to tell her an answer.
Even if that answer would bring about a cruel outcome.
I must return that answer.
“I think I have to drop the flower, even forcefully.”
“Isn’t it okay to do what the flower desires?”
An important, choice.
