Chapter 81: Mutual Feelings
In just two days, it will be New Year’s Day. The Children’s Welfare Institute in W District is decorated with lights and banners, filled with festive cheer. Similarly, today marks Gu Yao’s departure from the institute after turning eighteen. Early in the morning, Director Jiang personally cooked the final meal for Gu Yao in the cafeteria.
Standing behind Director Jiang was Xia Yan, looking sharp in military uniform. This time, Xia Yan specifically took leave from the training center to attend the significant occasion of Gu Yao leaving the institute.
“Choosing to join the army was the right decision. You’ve applied to become a volunteer soldier; you can serve a few more years, learn a skill, and the country will even guarantee employment after your service.”
Director Jiang smiled at the young man before him, as if recalling the time he held Gu Yao in his arms and told him stories many years ago. Despite chatting away, his loving demeanor seemed to disregard the passage of time.
Xia Yan did not dare to tell the elder that he had not transitioned to a volunteer soldier; rather, he had already been recruited by a mysterious unit just before his two-year service ended.
However, to him, this did not seem important. He had always gone with the flow, lacking long-term plans for his own future.
“Your brother actually dropped out of school to work behind my back last year. Ever since you enlisted, he’s been lost, withdrawn, and stubborn, with poor independent living skills. Now he’s also stepped into society, so as his older brother, you should guide him more.”
Director Jiang wiped his eyes and pulled Xia Yan to a nearby seat. “Your brother has had a very limited living space since childhood. So narrow that when he looks down, he can only see his own shadow, and when he looks up, he can only see you. I can’t be his only grandmother, but you are his only brother.”
Listening to the elder’s ramblings, Xia Yan nodded repeatedly, fully understanding the meaning of his words.
Since childhood, Gu Yao had been surrounded by mockery, exclusion, and strange gazes, which made him timid, cowardly, and sensitive. He feared expanding his living space and being surrounded by people or matters he could not control.
In such a small living space, only Xia Yan had been a support for him. Even Director Jiang may not necessarily belong to Gu Yao’s world, and Gu Yao’s feelings toward Director Jiang seemed more like following or imitating Xia Yan.
“But, it’s not that I want to speak negatively. I’m not afraid of the close bond you two brothers share; I’m just worried that he won’t be able to stand on his own in the future. You both are grown-ups after all, and in the end, each has their own life. Just guide your brother out of the narrow path, but don’t keep protecting him, understand?”
Director Jiang squeezed Xia Yan’s arm and suddenly choked up. “As a grandmother, I’ve actually failed to take good care of you both. He was often bullied in his childhood, unable to keep even a toy safe, and he could only wish for you while being timid. If you aren’t around, he feels lost.”
Toys? Xia Yan was taken aback, sensing something within.
Every child has someone they are closest to and a favorite toy. The former represents a child’s reliance on and trust in the world; the latter represents the world’s unconditional recognition and submission to the child.
A child’s successful growth is akin to a fair exchange of mutual needs between the child and the world. Unfortunately, Gu Yao did not receive that fairness after his birth.
He had already given his reliance and trust but did not gain the world’s recognition and submission. Just like his lips and fingers, his living space was not only small but also incomplete. This childhood incompleteness might take a lifetime to compensate for.
“Don’t worry, Grandma! I’m here!” Xia Yan patted the back of the elder’s hand with a light smile.
“Bro, Grandma, I’m all set.” Gu Yao’s voice came from the direction of the cafeteria door, sounding nervous, excited, and visibly anxious.
Two days later, Jiang Yan and Jiang Yao returned to their long-lost home. In the small courtyard, the ginkgo tree had turned golden, covering the stone table and garden with a blanket of dried yellow leaves. Due to the windows not being tightly sealed, a thin layer of dust had appeared around the house.
On the surface, Jiang Yao’s body seemed no different from ordinary people, but her remarkable recovery ability was still astonishing. Perhaps the Jiang sisters would soon add the passive ability of regeneration, inherent to the River Ganges bloodline, to their list of capabilities—boasting an extraordinary self-healing ability. Many seemingly fatal injuries were merely a few extra days of sleep for regeneration.
Yet, looking at Jiang Yao’s complexion, Jiang Yan knew that her deep-seated injuries had not fully healed, so she did not force her to help with the cleaning.
In the living room, Jiang Yan was cleaning the tabletop and appliances, only assigning Jiang Yao the task of organizing her closet, which required little physical effort.
“Sis, are we still wearing these clothes?” Jiang Yao emerged from her room, holding a massive pile of summer clothes bought months ago, her face showing some disdain. “How did we buy this junk? The style is outdated and the quality is poor. No wonder Wan Jie criticized us.”
“Don’t you find them appealing? The club’s clothes look good but can cost several thousand for a set. Are you planning to buy based on their standard? You’re already complaining about clothes you bought just months ago. If you don’t manage the household, you wouldn’t know the value of oil, salt, and expenses…”
Jiang Yan snorted in her nose and secretly marveled at Jiang Yao’s increasingly clear preferences and aesthetics.
“Look at Xiao Ping and Xiao Ling; their work clothes are different every day. No matter the style, they are out of season now, and in a week or two, we won’t even be able to wear them.”
Jiang Yao pouted, seemingly unconvinced by Jiang Yan’s words. “Last time, after we took down a den of black bloods in J City, Zhao Peng gave me a 300,000 bonus. I now have over 500,000 in my account.”
“Hmm, you’re quite the rich girl, aren’t you? Then let’s go buy autumn clothes tomorrow. Show me what you can do. You’ll pay for everything, and it’d be best if you buy winter clothes too!” Jiang Yan huffed as she tossed aside the rag and grabbed a broom.
“If you really have money to burn, you might as well order more strength-enhancing potions from Zhao Peng.”
“I’ve tried, but now I feel blocked in my body. I don’t know why, but those meds make me uncomfortable.”
Jiang Yao sat at the dining table, propping her chin on her hand, looking troubled. “Maybe it’s what Zhao Peng mentioned—the Newtonian ball. It’s rare for someone to reach the knight bloodline, and even fewer can break through to a higher level.”
“Not to mention, Xia Dongjie has high potential, but Xiao Ling and Xiao Ai have reportedly been stuck at lower-level knights for many years with no progress.”
Upon hearing this, Jiang Yan’s sweeping halted.
Just days ago, she had received a rather strange feedback from Zhao Peng: Jiang Yao, while recovering from her injuries, had not only maintained her strength but had actually improved slightly. It was uncertain how many days ago she might reach a higher-level knight; monsters are just unreasonable that way.
Well, it doesn’t matter; after all, everyone is a monster. I can wield baron-level abilities myself. Jiang Yao suffered severe injuries, yet it didn’t damage her foundation and still she could reverse her strength growth. What’s so surprising about that… Jiang Yan sighed deeply and stopped speaking.
Ding! A notification sound from a social app came from Jiang Yao’s phone.
She took a casual glance and shoved it back into her jeans pocket, her expression unchanged as she continued clearing out the expired food in the refrigerator that hadn’t been cleaned for nearly a month.
“Is it Zhong Jing?” After a few seconds, Jiang Yan couldn’t help but ask, “He has been contacting you quite a lot lately.”
Seeing Jiang Yao’s nonchalant demeanor made Jiang Yan even more uneasy. During those twenty-plus days of dormancy, who knows what kind of interactions Jiang Yao and Zhong Jing had? Her desire to sweep was drowned by layers of chaos in her mind.
Isn’t Meng Huai the same? He sends you messages every few days.
With her back turned to Jiang Yan, Jiang Yao didn’t look back, slowly cleaning the refrigerator’s cold storage, only lightly dismissing, her expression somewhat awkward.
“Did you look at my phone? When were those messages sent?”
Jiang Yan was taken aback and quickly checked her phone, only to find that although there were no unread messages displayed, several previously read messages had clearly appeared, all from Meng Huai, merely checking on how she was recovering from drinking too much.
Upon further inspection, she also found a recorded call listed in her contacts, which lasted less than ten seconds. It was Meng Huai’s first call to her, and she hadn’t answered it!
Jiang Yan silently put her phone away, and after a few seconds, suddenly turned around, dropped the broom, sat at the dining table, and patted the chair next to her. “Xiao Yao, we need to talk seriously… Come here and sit down.”
“I saw the phone ringing while you were napping yesterday and answered it for you. I only said you were fine, then he hung up… Besides, you’ve checked my phone too, right? Both of our unlock codes are pretty simple.”
Jiang Yao nervously shuffled toward the chair, tense but still stubbornly defiant.
“Are you going to help me make calls in the future too? If I don’t clean you up today, I won’t even take the surname Jiang!”
A surge of inexplicable anger flared up in Jiang Yan, her face darkening as she stood up, gripping the broom by the table and even cursing for the rarest of occasions.
“Isn’t your surname Xia?”
Jiang Yao quickly dodged to the other side of the table while muttering with a strange expression, “I’m seriously injured now. If you come at me aggressively again, I might not be able to stand.”
“Have you spoken to me?” Jiang Yan touched her forehead, looking fatigued. “Fine, I won’t hit you, but let’s talk…”
Jiang Yan forced a smile, half-sitting on the edge of a chair as if ready to run at any moment.
Now, you should be quite adjusted. I don’t know whether to be happy or worried… Jiang Yan took a deep breath, her expression serious. “I’m just worried that one day, you really… I had bad dreams while I was dormant, and it did worry me a bit.”
“I’m fine, apart from the discomfort of my period; nothing else is wrong. This life is just like that… Oh yeah, my period hasn’t come this month. Wan Jie said…”
Jiang Yao played with a loose strand of hair, casually muttering.
Your period hasn’t come!?
A thunderclap exploded in Jiang Yan’s mind, causing her body to jump uncontrollably, finger pointing at Jiang Yao, unable to articulate for a moment.
“Sis, what’s wrong?”
“Your period hasn’t come? What’s going on? When I entered dormancy, you spent several days at Longquan Mountain Resort with Zhong Jing; what did you two do!? Our time should be the same!”
Jiang Yan felt like she was on the verge of a breakdown, grabbing Jiang Yao’s arm, her face pale with fear.
“Oh my god, sister! What are you thinking about!?”
Jiang Yao pulled away from her grip, holding the sore spot on her arm as she retreated a bit, her face flushed with embarrassment. “I haven’t finished saying… Wan Jie told me that I suffered a major injury this time and had to use a lot of heavy medications, which might lead to some endocrine disorders. That’s why it hasn’t come in these days, and it won’t be on the same schedule as yours.”
The scene fell into silence; neither spoke after that.
One minute, two minutes, three minutes…
“You have feelings for him… just tell me the truth.” A few minutes later, Jiang Yan finally spoke slowly, “I feel that over the past few months, you might’ve become too different…”
“Impossible!”
Jiang Yan abruptly looked up but awkwardly shifted her gaze to the window a few seconds later. “I don’t think I’ve changed. I still enjoy watching Xiao Ling and the others change clothes.”
“You can! You sneak into the staff changing room to watch girls change clothes; are you a pervert?”
Jiang Yan clicked her tongue twice, her face slightly improving, and her tone slowed down greatly. “Xiao Yao, I don’t know how to say this. I really hope you can be independent… but if you genuinely like him…”
“Stop talking!”
Jiang Yao bolted upright, retreating a bit, her face reddened. “I only see Zhong Jing as a buddy to hang out with! But you aren’t!”
“Am I similar?” Jiang Yan smiled instead of getting angry, “Just because Meng Huai texted me and called, inviting me out for drinks?”
Haha, would he really be the type who looks like he’s lost his mother, suddenly waiting outside the welfare institute for hours like a foolish puppy? Texting and calling a girl he’s met only a few times? Even if you reverted back to Xia Yan, you probably wouldn’t have such a good relationship with him!
I’m now certain, sis, you exhibit a caretaker’s personality.
And perhaps a guy like Meng Huai, missing maternal care in his childhood, matches well with your type… you even say I’m acting strange.”
Jiang Yao bit her lip, feeling quite displeased, yet couldn’t articulate why.
“I… fine, since we both insist there’s nothing going on, let’s drop this topic.” Jiang Yan rubbed her forehead, her mind a mess. “I won’t interfere, as long as you stay safe and don’t expose yourself.”
As she spoke, Jiang Yan struggled to stand up, picking the broom back up.
“Sorry, sis… I… I didn’t mean to bring this up.”
Jiang Yao realized she had spoken carelessly in the heat of the moment.
Just then, another series of rings chimed from Jiang Yao’s phone.
Jiang Yao hardly looked before raising her phone to her ear.
“Who is it?”
“Hey, it’s me. I got a batch of Hokkaido sea cucumbers, great for recovery. I sent you a lot of messages earlier; why haven’t you replied?”
“Go to hell, get lost!”
Jiang Yao snapped back angrily, hanging up the call. In this world, anyone can point fingers at her, but Zhong Jing cannot.
On the other end of the line, Zhong Jing felt perplexed.
…
After dinner, Jiang Yao retreated into her bedroom, changed into a sleep dress, and hunched over in her computer chair, playing nonchalantly.
The door was slightly ajar, revealing a gap of light, while Jiang Yan stood outside, watching quietly, her expression a mix of helplessness and anxiety.
Helpless about Jiang Yao’s blind confidence and reliance; anxious about Jiang Yao’s rebellious façade everywhere.
That scene in her dream resurfaced in Jiang Yao’s mind, false yet terrifyingly real. In Jiang Yan’s eyes, regardless of whether Jiang Yao was male or female, one day she would leave, and she should leave. As for who would leave first—Jiang Yan or Jiang Yao—she didn’t dare to think deeply about it.
Through the door’s gap, the fair-haired girl sitting in front of the computer chair gradually turned into the little boy, Gu Yao, following closely behind.
Minutes later, Jiang Yan quietly stepped back into the kitchen, slicing a plate of fruit—Jiang Yao’s favorite fragrant pears and mangoes.
“Eat more vegetables and fruits, avoid junk food; your body will recover faster…”
As she pushed the door open, Jiang Yan approached Jiang Yao with the fruit platter. Turning her head, she noticed a piece of lace lingerie and a pair of panties lying on the floor at the head and foot of the bed.
“You’re playing games in a sleep dress, naked underneath?”
Jiang Yan’s mind started clouding with blood, the fruit platter crashing loudly onto the computer desk, her face turning pale.
“Ah?”
Jiang Yao turned her head in confusion, noticing Jiang Yan’s fury, then glanced at the scattered garments on the floor, finally looking down at herself.
“I… I can’t be completely naked under the sleep dress, right?”
Jiang Yan’s response was most bizarre; Jiang Yan stared blankly for a few seconds before rushing out of the room to find a feather duster.
This life is truly unbearable.
