99. Meaninglessness in righteousness.

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 If I could only wish for one thing.

 If only one thing could come true.

I wonder what that would be?



****




 Yulan admitted that he underestimated Rosette. He thought she was just a princess, a sweetheart protected by the people around her. That she had a heart that could be broken easily, just like her slender body. That she would be easy to monopolies and instruct fear. But he didn’t know his well thought plan would be nothing but mockery in front of her.

 He was a little wary of her knowing that she was the one who approached Violette first. Violette was a sharp person, both in a good but bad way. But she was sensitive enough to understand what the person opposite her think of herself.

 When he first began to investigate, he was sure of the possibility that she(Violette) might have been exposed to a malevolence of which she was unaware, so his suspicions only grew stronger.

 The “Prince” in the rumour who was suppose to get engaged to Rosette was obviously Claudia. The engagement wasn’t announced to public, only heard in rumours. So Yulan had to take full advantage of his special position to finally get this information. There was no way Violette couldn’t have known about it.

 What would Violette do if she knew? Would she be sad or resentful, or would she slowly let her heart sink? Whatever the case may be, Yulan didn’t want to see despair that on her beautiful face.



 That was why he showed up in front of Rosette, to give her a warning. Even though the leakage of the secret would not be noticed until Yulan mentioned it, he also knew that he would be able to use it to its fullest against Rosette.



 But he had no idea that she would be someone who had the courage to touch his nerves to such an extent.



(Greed for control)



 The desire to manipulate someone to one’s own will – he was convinced that he was indeed the one with a strong tendency to do so, no matter the situation and people.

 Perhaps it was because he had spent so many days with his head held down in planning, or perhaps it was because he had so many things tangled up in his mind, he found it was difficult to move for some reason. He always showed his gentle and calm side to everyone because it was easier for him to get into people’s minds. Because it was easier to have his wishes fulfilled. Because it was easier to control.

 It was easier to make them dance in the palm of Yulan’s hand.



(I see. …… I didn’t know there was someone like that.)



 Yulan never knew that there was someone who could see through his unconsciously ingrained personality, but surprisingly, he wasn’t angry about it. If it had been a misguided observation, he would have been displeased, but Yulan was simply a little surprised because he wasn’t aware of it.

 He hated to be dominated and wanted to dominate and control. He was arrogant and self-centred. Yulan’s words sometimes feel like a pot of mushy poison that makes the person opposite him want to turn away. He didn’t care what other people think of him, since they would never understood the hidden meaning in his words.



 Rosette must have seen the poison in Yulan’s words. The cunning man who could put his hand on someone’s neck while showing them a dream of a gentle embrace. She saw the sweetness and softness of what many people believe to be a medicine, but which, after a terrible addiction, takes over their thoughts.



 There was no denying it, nor was there any intention of denying it. What Rosette felt was unmistakably Yulan’s true nature, and there was no mistaking it.



“She never did anything wrong, but it’s …… too wrong for you to monopolise her like this.”



 Yulan wanted to monopolies Violette, it was correct, but at …… the same time, he also didn’t want to make her isolated. He wanted to surrender his entire heart to her. There are things he wanted to do for her, and everything he was doing was for the sake of Violette.

 He wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt her, and if anyone did, he wouldn’t hesitate to retaliate. All he wants is Violette’s happiness.



“I’m doing everything for Violette’s happiness.”



“…… are you trying to say it’s for her own good?”



 Rosette’s eyes grew sharper, and it was clear that she was accusing Yulan. He justified his selfish behavior with self-serving reasons. He put the final responsibility on her(Violette) and tried to receive only good results, and obviously, it irked Rosette.

 Even Yulan must have imagined that he would be stomping on such arrogance.



(It’s more obvious than I thought: …… No.)



Rosette finally understood the desire of Yulan to control Violette was deep. It was even more deeper than she thought it would be.

 She always thought of him as a gentleman, a benevolent person. She thought she was the complete opposite of Yulan, the polar opposite, and that they would never understand each other, but seeing his true nature angered her. And Yulan’s view of Rosette also changed because of her sharp tongue. He imagined her to be only a princess who was kind, sweet, and generous. But when he peeled off his skin and showed his true colours, he found a woman who looked just like him, with the same eyes staring back at him.

 It was a happy miscalculation. Rather than being angry, Yulan was glad that the person by Violette’s side had no intention to hurt her. Her resentment toward Yulan was only after she understood whom it was directed to.



 So this dislike was not directed at her.



“It’s wrong but …… not for her, for me.”



 To begin with, Yulan was extremely egoistic and greedy. He was not the kind of person who would talk and interact with anyone. He wished for Violette’s happiness because it satisfied him. His mind, with its blurred boundaries, can no longer be contained with himself alone. He was close to Violette, but he wanted to be closer.

 He was aware of the fact that his intention might be wrong in others eyes. He knew if someone knew his inside thoughts, they would advise him to go to a doctor. They would recommend him treatment, because in their eyes, his behaviour wasn’t okay.



 Rosette thinks Yulan’s was wrong. It was much better to silently watch over the person you love, reach out to them, and guide them. It was not fair to forcefully burged into their world and set up a choice that had been made previously. To care for the person you love is okay but to force them to choose your path certainly wasn’t.

Rosette was right. Yulan knew that without being told.



 But her righteousness did not make him happy.

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