85. Clear feelings
“Violette-sama, you eat very little, don’t you?”
“Is that so? But I eat a lot of desserts, so maybe that’s why.”
The moment the two of them entered the cafeteria together, the atmosphere in the cafeteria stopped for a moment. Violette didn’t need to think the reason, it was probably because they were two famous figure who were completely the opposite of each other were standing together. From their looks to their personality, everything was different from each other. They were like people of two opposite polar, so it was obvious that they would attract attention when together.
They took a seat at the corner of the cafeteria to avoid people’s eyes. It was natural for them to attract attention, one positive while the other negative. But both of them were used to it, so they weren’t bothered by everyone’s stares.
But one think crossed Violette’s mind, what do the people around them think seeing the two of them together? From the whispered conversation and the suspicious glances directed at them, it seemed that their presence together weren’t well received. Perhaps, because it was Violette who was with Rosette. If the latter came with someone who no one even knew, they wouldn’t have been so suspicious. But the presence of Violette beside Rosette was enough to grow the distrust of her(Violette).
As for Violette, she was not bothered by this. But Rosette, who had been smiling all the while seemed to be a little concerned. But her concern weren’t for herself, it was for Violette. So, she smiled more cheerfully, showing everyone that she was enjoying being with Violette.
“Does Rosette-sama not like sweets?”
Unlike Violette, who clearly had a larger plate only for dessert, Rosette’s lunch did not include any dessert. It was rare for Violette to see someone not liking dessert, so she was a little surprised.
“It’s not that I don’t like them, but I prefer …… bitter-sweet ones.”
Both kept their voices lest people overheard their conversation. It was for the sake of both of their image.
Although the two of them thought they were similar, it wasn’t true for everyone. Rosette’s appearance was similar to the imagination in which Violette was held. If only their appearances had been reversed, that might have solved some of the problems. But it would have raised new problems, so it was better the way they were.
“Violette-sama, you like sweets, don’t you?”
“Yes. On the contrary, I can’t stand bitter food.”
“They can be delicious, though. ……”
“Of course. When I was young, I thought I would be able to drink black coffee when I grew up. But I guess I still can’t tolerate bitter things.”
“I understand. When you are little, you think without any reason.”
“I always had the urge to drink coffee, even though I couldn’t stand it. I used to go to a coffee shop and order black coffee.”
“Can you stand coffee now?”
“Not at all.”
The sight of the two of them smiling at each other was a sight to behold. Everyone might have curiously looking at them but no one had the courage to interfere them. It’s not that they were afraid to interfere, it’s just, sometimes when two beautiful people talks, it’s impolite to bother them. This rule wasn’t written anywhere, it was what the nobles present around Violette and Rosette thought. There was something around them, like a warm bubble surrounding them which separated them from the rest of the people and didn’t let them interfere.
“I think the taste of the coffe depends on the restaurant. Maybe there is a restaurant where Violette-sama can drink?”
“I don’t know. If you say so, there maybe……, But I don’t go to those kinds of places very often.”
Violette had never paid much attention to coffee shops with delicious sweets or cute cakes, because of her imprint of not being able to drink coffee.
(Yulan was always telling me about them.)
Even the fact that she preferred sweetness was only after her reincarceration. In her previous life, she had been very careful not to destroy the image that people held of her.
She had tried to act as if she was strong, noble, and beautiful. Before she knew it, though, she had erased that image and became an overbearing and arrogant person.
If people wanted Violette to drink black coffee instead of sweet, she drank it while pretending to enjoy the bitterness that spreaded in her mouth.
(Yulan would sneak in some chocolate or marshmallows for me.)
At parties, she would had to swallow the food she didn’t like, just like everyone else around her. Before she had reached the end of her patience, Yulan would give her something sneakily, which she would put in her mouth to recover.
He always had a somewhat complicated expression on his face whenever he did this. When, she got tired and ran away to breath in fresh air, he would always find her and offer her lots of sweets.
It was not her imagination that his smile always looked sad when he saw her uneasy.
（I know I made you worry.)
Violette couldn’t help but wonder if it was the effect of the possessive desire she had for Yulan that she was now aware of facts she was unaware of at the time. She was happy to be able to reminisce her gratitude to Yulan, but she also felt that she was strangling herself.
She knew that it was better to stay away from him, but she also felt reluctant to leave him.
She wanted to repay him for everything he had done for her, but she was still far from it.
She knew Yulan’s good qualities better than anyone else. She was sure he could make any person happy. He had become such a wonderful person that it was given.
She wished she could be there to see him happy.
But her wish wasn’t a strong or beautiful wish, it was more like a lie.
She wanted to be near him, next to him, closest to him, laughing and smiling along with him.
She wanted to be the one who makes him happy.
If only the person Yulan loves was herself.
With a high pitched clang, the fork Violette was holding fell on the desk with a clatter.
“Vi, Violette-sama ……, are you all right?”
“I’m sorry, I’m …… all right.”
Across her, a flustered-looking Rosette was calling the waiter and asking for a new fork. Violette should have responded her and stop her from being concerned, but something else was swirling around in her head.
Her cheeks heated up on their own and her eyes moistured. She was sure that she was going to cry. So, she quickly lowered her head to block the expression on her face with her bangs that could bother anyone.
Violette bit her trembling lips and tried hard to keep her brain from overflowing, to keep all of her current feelings from becoming a sound.
She was just thinking, desperately, it was just a thought in her narrow perspective.
What did I think just now?