From that day until today, Yulan have stood by her side and watched her. He wanted to devote his heart, which was saved by Violette, to her without reserve.
But then he learned that he was ignorant and helpless.
He was saved, but he couldn’t do anything to save her. He wanted to be there for her, but he could not be with her because he was helpless.
He could see her mind being distorted little by little. The beauty he saw that day is not lost, on the contrary, it was becoming sharper and sharper. But the more Violette grows up, the more she is denied by her family, and perhaps because of this, it was inevitable that she would go mad with time.
Yulan wanted to support her. He wanted to save her.
He wanted to save Violette any way he could.
But it was not Yulan whom she wanted.
Her love was probably the only hope she found beyond the distortion. A piece of purity that remained in the distorted mind of Violette. She was someone who thought that a prince would save her. A girl who yearns for a fairy tale.
Still, he thought it was good. If Violette could be saved from the feeling of being denied, if she could be happy, it would not matter much that he was not the one whom she has chosen.
Even after her transformation, Yulan still loved Violette the same. He loved her just as much as he had in the past, and he loved her with a straight and pure heart.
It was the thought all that mattered.
He lays his own hand on Violette’s palm and wraps his fingertips around it.
He wanted to hold on to her, he wants to hold her and never let go. But she didn’t get the message, and for Violette, she was accustomed to Yulan’s pampering. She knows she doesn’t need to cling to him since he won’t leave her.
The actions are acceptable. Only the feelings are overwhelming for her.
Yulan knows, he can’t be found out. He has to continue the part as her younger brother. Choosing what’s best for Violette is like breathing for Yulan.
The hardest thing to do is to breathe by loving her, that’s for sure.
“What’s wrong ……?”
“Nothing ……, nothing, nothing is wrong.”
Violette looks Yulan with a puzzled expression. She knows he is not making that painful expression without any reason, but she still chooses to not ask him about it and doesn’t question any further.
She probably decided that using her concern as a shield against Yuran was counterproductive. She is correct in her judgment, and even if she asked him, Yulan may not want to answer her question.
The feelings Yuran is having right now are feelings that he wants to convey only to Violette, but at the same time he does not want Violette to know about them.
Yulan is the only one who is aware of his feeling towards her. She doesn’t need to know, at least not so soon.
“Marin will worry if we’re late.”
“Yeah, right. ……”
Yulan didn’t eat anything during the break, so he is getting hungry.
“I bought you a lot of sweet things. I was choosing Vio-chan’s and forgot my own.”
While they were exchanging pleasantries, Yulan’s mind was still filled with a sense of depression.
Even though he should be letting himself be happy walking next to Violette, he also feels like he is watching this scene from behind.
Yulan knew that there were two different thoughts swirling in his mind.
They are like dual personality but again, not anything like that. They questions each others’ judgement like the opposite they are. One heart that is telling him to confess to Violette and the mind that is advising against it.
In any situation, the heart has priority. The mind is nothing more than a storage space for thoughts about the others. Even if the storage space were to collapse, Yulan would be able to live without hindrance.
Yet, it certainly exists, and because of its existence, it has Yulan’s wish. As long as it is in Yulan, there is no place that does not reflect his love for Violette.
In the midst of a cluttered, suitably packed storeroom, that love asserts itself. It gives first priority to and respects Yulan wishes, the owner, and not Violette.
He wished it had been just the two of them.
He wished there were only two people in the world, him and Violette.
Then he would never have to know and see the moment she fell in love with someone else.