I never once thought that my hardships could cause others to suffer.
I believed that the reason others worried about me was simply that they were concerned I’d fail.
So, I proved to them that I was strong.
That they didn’t need to worry.
No matter what happened, I would win.
No matter what, I wouldn’t crumble.
I thought it would be fine if I let them know.
However, that was my delusion.
The reason others worried about me was simply because I was carrying too much.
It was too painful for them to just watch a little kid dive into numerous hardships.
I didn’t know this. I never even tried to know. I thought it was natural for me to step forward, so I couldn’t ponder what those who worried about me were thinking.
That’s why I felt confused when Phoebe hesitated and stepped back while looking at me.
I wondered what I had done wrong.
At that moment, if it had only been for an instant, I might have thought I was mistaken and moved on, but Phoebe continued to look to me with unease.
I thought something was definitely amiss, and when I asked Grandpa about it, he didn’t give me an answer.
[That's not something I need to answer. Ask your friends.]
I whined that it was unfair, but Grandpa’s reply was the same.
Knowing that when he was stubborn, there must be a reason, I sneaked over to my friends after Phoebe left.
“…Why is the Saintess acting like that? Are you asking sincerely?”
“Lucy. I can’t help with that. Why is Phoebe acting like this?”
As soon as I asked, Arthur and Joy looked startled and got angry.
Is it really that big of a deal? I’m not that perceptive! I could easily not know!
“Are you serious?”
“Well, that’s true. If Lucy knew everything, it wouldn’t have happened like this.”
“So just say it in a way I can understand. Is that really so hard?”
“Lucy. Phoebe is so flustered because she likes you too much.”
“…What?”
“She cares for you so much that she doesn’t want to see you get hurt.”
That’s when I realized that this was an extension of what had happened in the Fairy Forest.
Back then, I didn’t want to take my friends to the Fairy Forest.
I knew it was such a dangerous place that I tried to go there alone.
However, my friends thought differently. They wanted to share the hardships with me.
They didn’t want to leave me alone.
It was the same now.
My friends wanted to share the burden with me.
They thought I didn’t need to endure all the pain alone.
They felt pain when they saw me carrying the obligation.
“Why do you think Phoebe actively spoke with high-ranking officials from other countries? It’s all to reduce your burden.”
“I know that too. I don’t think it was bad for a sloppy effort. But what’s that got to do with now?”
“What do you mean what’s that got to do with it? The Saintess thinks today’s event is her fault. Instead, it only increased your burden.”
“Lucy, you were hurt in your heart today.”
I couldn’t deny it. I was definitely shocked when I saw the cityscape.
I felt guilt over the fact that so many people had died because I let my guard down for a moment and lamented that I couldn’t get here faster.
But isn’t this my responsibility?
I was the one who allowed Phoebe to do everything.
I was the one who burdened her with responsibilities just to feel a little at ease.
So ultimately, this happened because I was inexperienced.
Phoebe had no reason to feel guilt.
“Lucy is a fool.”
Frey, who had been munching on her food, swallowed hard and pointed at me with her fork.
“Completely a fool.”
“This time I agree. This guy did something foolish, so the Saintess must have been reactive.”
“Right. Lucy is a fool. Just not knowing how much we care about you is enough to call you a fool!”
Now I understood why Grandpa told me to ask my friends.
This wasn’t something someone needed to tell me. Even if they did, I would quickly forget it.
Like they said, I was a fool.
But if I realized it myself.
If I learned how much my friends care about me, how much they were hurt because of me, and that instead of stopping me, they wanted to share my burdens, I would never be able to forget that.
Sigh Really, what a topic. To see a bunch of useless folks saying “what about this” and “what about that” without me, what a sight.
“Ha. Do they think saying something nice about the Apostle makes them a hero or something?”
“Isn’t it true?”
“…What?”
“I’m a hero. Silly Prince. Didn’t you know? What do you even know? How long are you planning to think like a fool?”
As I vented my mood by poking fun at Arthur, I moved away from my friends toward where Phoebe was.
I couldn’t leave her, looking as uneasy as when we first met.
“Lady Allen. May I have a word with you?”
As I headed toward Phoebe, Johan approached me.
He looked like he’d been working all night with dark circles under his eyes, took a short breath, and got to the point.
“Please convince the Saintess to let me take over what she was doing.”
Johan said Phoebe was currently overburdened with work.
Not only was she accompanying me to conquer the dungeon, but she was also juggling her existing duties as a Saintess while trying to coordinate relations with various countries to assist me.
Even when the people nearby told her she was overexerting herself, she insisted on doing what was necessary.
“If you speak to her directly, she might consider it. So please.”
“You’re such a pathetic old man. I didn’t know you were this humble. Ha ha. Fine, even if it’s just to see your ugly face, I’ll agree to help.”
With a light heart, I pushed open the door, but I immediately froze when I saw Phoebe about to crumble.
I knew she was pondering if she was causing me trouble.
I knew she was overexerting herself trying to share the burden with me. But I didn’t realize it would come to this.
Maybe I was still overestimating her.
I thought she could stand up in the face of all hardships because she was a Saintess and had been indifferent.
Thinking this way, I found myself standing right in front of her.
You… I told you it hurt my heart when I tried to shoulder all the burdens, but in the end, you’re the same, aren’t you? Silly.
Sigh What can I do? Both you and I seem to be fools that the Shoddy Pedo God likes.
After all, no one would believe in that sloppiness if it weren’t for these hopeless people.
Right?
Having passed some of the genuine burden to Johan, I stepped outside and let out a deep sigh.
[Is dealing with people that hard? ]
“It’s a bit of an awkward expression. Please say human relationships are difficult.”
[You should take this opportunity to learn how to see the surroundings. You can't live as a kid forever.]
“What are you talking about? Is there anyone like me who cares about others?”
[Seems plenty.]
“Grandpa. Stop messing around and get with the mood.”
[Nope.]
“Do you want to go back to the toilet again?”
<...I’m s-sorry.>
*
The next morning, we gathered to conquer the dungeon, but oddly, one person was missing.
As usual, Phoebe, who would have been the first to arrive, was late. It wasn’t a problem yet since there was still time.
“Lucy. You really consoled her last night, right?”
“What do you expect? You think Lucy Allen could do something so embarrassing? She probably said some weird stuff. Cough!”
As I poked Arthur’s side with some force, he shuddered and bent over.
“Shut up, Useless Prince. I’m not a kid, and trying to draw attention like that just looks silly.”
“Why only me…”
“You’re quite sensitive yet narrow-minded. You lack any masculinity at all. Why not wear skirts instead of pants?”
“…Damn it.”
“Prince, do you want me to give you a skirt? I have plenty at home I don’t wear.”
“Not a chance!”
As we bickered, I sensed a familiar divinity from one side.
I turned my head and saw Phoebe peeking out from behind the wall, looking perplexed, along with the people of the Holy Land.
What on earth is she doing over there?
As soon as our eyes met, Phoebe jumped in surprise and tried to hide, which made me smirk as I made my way over, making my footsteps obvious.
“Hello.”
“A-ah. Hello…!”
“Why were you hiding here? Did you dislike meeting me that much?”
“N-no! N-no. It was, um, yesterday. No, uh, ehhh.”
Phoebe’s face turned red, and she was struggling to get her words out, which sparked my sadistic tendencies.
Honestly, isn’t this Phoebe’s fault? Isn’t this like begging to be teased?
“Why? Were you so happy being called Shoddy Phoebe?”
“O-uh…”
“Shoddy Phoebe. Shoddy Phoebe. Shoddy~ Shoddy~”
At this point, Phoebe was practically ready to collapse, and just as I was giggling around her, I heard patter footsteps approaching from behind.
I turned, sensing a chill, and found Frey floating in mid-air, trying to avoid me but failing.
“Me too! I’m Frey!”
“…Go away. Stupid swordsman.”
“F-Re-Y!”
“As long as you’re a fool, you’ll always be Stupid Swordsman. Stop with the nonsense.”
“Why! Why!?”
“Oh my. Is Stupid Swordsman still Stupid Swordsman? I’m called Joy, you know.”
“That’s unfair! Why am I the only one!”
“Hehe. Hehe. Phoebe. Hehe.”
It was chaotic in many ways, but this riot was much better than the unease from yesterday.
Yeah.
Just a bit.
Let’s share the burden, even if it’s not about me.
For my friends.
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