Chapter: 613
The place little Lucy arrived at, following her, was Lucy’s room.
The room that Benedict and Mira decorated for Lucy was a princess’s room that many girls would imagine.
Various cute dolls. A fluffy bed. Furniture splattered with pink. A light pink canopy draped over the bed.
Any child who entered this room would shine their eyes with joy, but the actual owner of the room, Lucy, wasn’t one of them.
Her eyes were dry from crying too much. Her body was so thin that one would doubt if she even ate. Her hair was disheveled. Her lips were tightly sealed. Lucy was dying alone in this room.
Her mother, who always embraced her with laughter no matter the situation, was no longer there.
Her father, who was somewhat clumsy but still embraced her with heartfelt love, now hated her.
The servants of the mansion, who had been watching closely for the owner’s cues, now subtly showed their disregard for her.
Even when various high-status people scolded the servants, the situation didn’t change. Because she no longer had anyone on her side.
At least, that’s how Lucy thought.
If I die, can I meet my mother again?
If I go far away, will I be able to hold that warm hand once more?
Can I go to where someone will embrace me?
‘What will I do for the National Foundation Day this year?’
The girls’ thoughts turned from thinking about death in isolation to something ugly and dark.
‘Of course, I have to go to the royal castle!’
‘I can’t just stay locked up here forever.’
‘Yeah! If I catch just one man, I can say goodbye to that cocky little brat forever!’
National Foundation Day. The royal castle. The social hall. The images that popped into Lucy’s mind were Benedict fidgeting anxiously and Mira laughing while watching him. And herself, laughing while seeing the sparkling surroundings but hurriedly covering her mouth.
Memories of the past brought a smile to her face, but the happiness that had been faintly etched in her heart quickly turned gray.
I’m this unhappy, I can’t be happy anymore, so why are you all still smiling?
Why do I have to be the only one unhappy?
What did I do so wrong?
Why do I have to lose everything while you all do fine?
Why?
Why?
Why?
‘…I hate it.’
I hate that you are happy.
I hate that I’m the only one unhappy.
It’s unfair.
Shouldn’t you all be as miserable as I am? Huh?
I get it. If you aren’t planning to be unhappy, then I’ll make you miserable.
If I can’t laugh alone, then it’s better if everyone cries.
When the twisted child said she wanted to participate in the National Foundation Day festival, Benedict harbored a false hope.
That maybe Lucy had shaken off some of her wounds.
So Benedict agreed to Lucy’s request. Holding back his own desire to avoid meeting anyone, he visited the festival of National Foundation Day.
It wasn’t hard to find a spot. The hero known as Benedict Allen was welcomed everywhere he went.
Even if he had been holed up in the mansion for months, there was no one who would belittle him.
“Lord Allen!”
“Are you alright?”
“I’m glad to see you up again.”
Behind the brightly shining Benedict, Lucy realized once again that no one could possibly like her, hidden behind her father’s awkward emotions.
Just greeting someone once twisted their expressions.
Even the person who had been warm to her started to frown the moment she opened her mouth.
A child that came close, pretending to be friendly, clicked their tongue and ran away.
Without Mira, without her mother, without her only understanding companion, Lucy had no choice but to be alone.
“Haha.”
Unable to hold back the emotions rising from the depths of her heart, she laughed, imprinting the image of the king greeting Benedict in her eyes.
“Even though it’s been a while, you’re still cute, Lucy.”
“Your Majesty, even after a long time, you smell strange. Have you gained weight?”
“Lucy!? What are you saying to His Majesty?”
“Pigs. Pigs. Hahaha, it might be better for you to stay locked up in the barn, dear King Piglet.”
The confusion, embarrassment, anger, contempt, all those emotions amused Lucy. The fact that everyone could be unhappy made her smile.
So, she moved more flamboyantly. She raised her voice to attract everyone’s attention.
To make even the people here a little more unhappy, she shouted:
“That’s. That’s something you absolutely must not do. Lucy.”
After Benedict dealt with everything, when they were left alone, he grabbed Lucy’s shoulders and pressed her. He tried to correct Lucy’s distortion, even if belatedly.
“Why?”
“Why can’t I? Silly Papa? Why shouldn’t those shoddy people be unhappy?”
“That’s not the right thing to do, Lucy. You know that, don’t you?”
“Why do I have to do the right thing? I don’t want to associate with those shoddy people.”
“Lucy. Calm down a little and listen to me, okay? Mira also…”
“My mama is dead!”
In front of Lucy, who had been a good child, showing her first rebellion, Benedict felt powerless.
“Don’t interrupt, silly Papa.”
“…I will, Lucy.”
“Why? Because Mama asked you so?”
“That’s not it. I care about you.”
“Liar. If I was so precious, you wouldn’t have left me all this time.”
“That’s… that’s…”
What if Benedict had at least offered an excuse at that moment? Would anything have changed?
What if he had cried out that he was also struggling? Would anything have changed?
If he had simply held Lucy without saying a word, would there have been a glimmer of hope?
“Hahaha!”
It was meaningless to think about it now.
“AhaHAHA!”
Benedict stammered and lowered his head.
“Oh, really.”
Lucy accepted his hesitation positively.
“You trashy father.”
“Lu… Lucy.”
“I really hate you.”
The once-harmonious household crumbled like this.
From then on, Lucy continued to participate in the social circle.
She didn’t have any goals like wanting to meet someone, make friends, eat delicious food, or see pretty things.
She solely wanted everyone to be unhappy.
Benedict, who should have stopped her, couldn’t approach Lucy.
The guilt lodged in his heart was so great that he thought he should endure his own discomfort as penance.
As each day passed, Lucy’s wish gradually became reality.
Everyone became unhappy.
The people of the social circle. Benedict. Lucy herself.
“Haha. You enjoy playing malicious jokes as I heard.”
“Do you hope it’s just a joke? Yes, you must desperately want to deny it. But what can we do? It’s all true.”
“…What about me seems gloomy?”
“It’s hard to answer. You’re like a moldy person everywhere I look.”
“Huh.”
“If I had to answer, um… Ah. Your gaze is so gloomy that I don’t even want to reply.”
“…Lucy Allen!”
The meeting between Rene and Lucy occurred amid this chain of misfortune.
With the social hall dark and gloomy just as Lucy wished, she approached the welcomed First Prince, seeking to pick a fight with him. To drag him into her unhappiness.
Rene seemed to endure at first, but eventually raised his voice in anger at Lucy, just like everyone else.
As the commotion erupted, Benedict rushed in to settle the situation, but that didn’t change the atmosphere of the social hall. Lucy achieved her goal again that day.
“Lady Allen.”
The next time Rene spoke to her was when Benedict had left to talk to the host of the social circle.
“What is it? The gloomy, lonely prince? Do you perhaps want to be friends with me? If that’s the case, let me apologize in advance. I’m…”
“…Sigh. Lucy Allen. Shut your mouth. At least I should finish what I have to say, right?”
Rene’s genuine annoyance, already nearing adulthood, was enough to scare little Lucy.
Though she straightened her shoulders to not be looked down upon, her inner feelings shrank away.
“Tsk. What a mistake.”
“Hick.”
“Wait. No. Please wait. Lady Allen. I was just clicking my tongue at you.”
“Hick.”
“I was wrong. So please don’t cry. If you cry, I don’t know what Lord Allen might do.”
“Who’s. Hick. crying. Sniff.”
“Yes. You’re not crying. You’re not, okay! Just admit it, please!”
Luckily, Benedict didn’t return until Rene calmed Lucy down.
Her eyes were slightly red, but she had avoided the worst misunderstanding.
Relieved by this fact, Rene sighed at Lucy, who was glaring at him.
“Since it’s already been seen through, I’ll stop pretending. Is that okay?”
“Do you need permission for such a thing? It seems you don’t know how to make choices for yourself.”
“I take that as you understand it’s okay.”
Lucy found Rene, who was sulking, both scary and fascinating.
Having met many people until now, he was the first person to talk to her continuously like this.
Most would share a word and turn away, and even if it dragged on, it was usual for them to get angry once and then ignore her.
Rene was truly the first exception.
“I’ll be blunt. Lucy Allen, what you want to say and what you actually say are different things, aren’t they?”
“…Huh?”
“Thinking and what comes out of your mouth are different, right?”
That’s why Lucy couldn’t accept that Rene had figured out her secret for a long time.
“There was a person among the palace’s people who could read emotions through actions. I was so intrigued by what that person did that I asked him to teach me the method. So he said he would gladly tell me, but I wouldn’t be able to follow along. I got angry with that cocky expression and tried my best to learn it, so I became able to guess to some extent. That guy was saying that if he couldn’t even see through tricks or read thoughts properly, what was the meaning of that skill…”
“Huff. Cough.”
“What. Why are you about to cry? I didn’t do anything wrong this time!”
“Waaaaaah!”
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