Chapter: 160
As she engraved Lucy’s request deep in her heart, she made her way back to her dormitory.
Phoebe’s eyes were still puffy, but there was an undeniable sloppy smile etched on her lips.
She had been taught from a young age that as a Saintess, she must always maintain dignity, so she usually kept a calm face. But today, that was impossible.
Because in her mind, one line kept replaying.
“I don’t care what you did. No matter what, you’re the Sloppy Saintess.”
When Phoebe first heard the term “Sloppy Saintess,” she felt uncomfortable.
It wasn’t common for someone to openly insult her in front of Phoebe, the Saintess of Lord Jushin Church.
She thought it was awkward not knowing how to respond. It felt a bit like someone pointing out her lacks. It even made her a little angry.
But now it was different.
To Phoebe now, the word “Sloppy Saintess” was a term she felt immensely grateful for.
It wasn’t a word meant to demean her; rather, it was a word that affirmed her.
Because Lucy knew Phoebe was an unclean existence from the very foundation,
knew that she foolishly doubted the mercy of God while being oblivious,
and that in the end, she foolishly reached out to the Evil God under temptation.
Lucy told her that she was a person worthy of being a Saintess.
Reflecting on that moment again, Phoebe felt tears threatening to spill, so she bit her lips tightly.
Ugh. What should I do? My eyes are burning; I can’t stand it.
If this spills out, I might end up sitting on the ground, sobbing like I did in Lady Allen’s room!
Thinking about that, Phoebe covered her face with both hands.
You silly Phoebe! What on earth were you doing back then?!
If the Apostle of Armadi knew about the actions you took and praised you, you should have thanked and apologized instead of breaking down in tears!
Imagining herself, crying and making sniff sounds, while uttering “I’m sorry, thank you,” Phoebe felt shame wash over her, more than the touch of emotion made her tears dry up.
Phoebe fanned herself with her hands, trying to cool down her flushed face as she sighed.
Should I be thankful that the tears have stopped?
No, I don’t think so. Surely this disgraceful memory will follow me for a long time.
Think of something else. To forget this memory.
Yes, let’s recall the words Lady Allen shared with me once more.
By doing that, maybe this embarrassing memory will fade a little.
Before leaving her room, Lucy told Phoebe that she needed to wait.
“There are many things you might dislike about the Shoddy Trash Church. As a foolish Sloppy Saintess wandering around, you must have a lot of curiosities. But not yet. If you move rashly, it could be dangerous.”
Lucy didn’t elaborate on what she meant by ‘dangerous,’ but Phoebe could guess.
It probably meant if she acted hastily, she could be simply erased by the Lord Jushin Church.
It seemed that the Church of Lord Jushin was a place filled with far more darkness than she had known.
Phoebe was a person who believed and followed the light, but that didn’t mean she assumed everyone in the church was good. Every place has light and shadow.
However, the darkness of the Lord Jushin Church was far more vast and systematic than she knew. It might even be enough to swallow the light whole.
Thinking about it, it was only natural. After all, I was set up as a Saintess, being someone who doesn’t even exist.
That darkness must be dark enough to make it hard to see an inch ahead.
…What would I have done if Lady Allen hadn’t said to wait?
It wasn’t hard for Phoebe to imagine that.
If she had faced that truth without Lucy, the Apostle of Armadi, she would have moved without hesitation to drive away that darkness.
She would have fought to create the Church she envisioned. Even if that meant her neck might be on the line.
She thought that was the duty of one who had been chosen as a Saintess by Armadi.
But now, Phoebe had no such thoughts. Because Lucy, the Apostle of Armadi, had told her to wait.
Since it was her words, hearing the Voice of God and receiving His love, it must align with the Will of God.
Surely, the high, wise, and compassionate Armadi must have arranged something while looking far into the future, so Phoebe needed only to follow without doubt.
As she reflected again, she felt her mood settling down and took her hands off her face, clenching her fists tightly.
Alright. Now let’s go back to the dormitory, freshen up, and…
“Saintess?”
At the sound of someone calling her, Phoebe turned her head as a habit and saw the face of a girl who had always followed her well.
“Um… Cough. Hello.”
Trying to greet as usual, Phoebe was surprised by her hoarse voice, so she cleared her throat and responded with a smile.
How loudly must have I cried in front of Lady Allen for my voice to still be hoarse like this?
Had I known, I would’ve cast Recovery Magic on my throat before leaving. I was way too lost in the moment.
“…Are you alright?”
“Yes?”
Upon hearing the question, Phoebe tilted her head, realizing how her appearance must have looked and understood the worried expression on the girl’s face.
My current look is quite a mess. Anyone else would worry about me.
“Of course. I’m fine.”
Thus, Phoebe nodded her head, putting on the most reliable expression she could muster.
At this moment, Phoebe felt better than any other recent time, that was a clear truth.
However, the girl’s worried face didn’t easily let go of its concern.
Does she think I’m forcing myself to be strong? But I’m really fine.
Worried that the girl might misunderstand, Phoebe tried to convince her, but everything she said in her hoarse voice only deepened the girl’s misunderstanding.
*
“It’s unfair!”
I often mumble about feeling unjust, but this time, it was no exaggeration.
I felt truly wronged.
Why in the world did the rumor spread throughout the entire academy that I bullied Phoebe?!
I honestly can’t wrap my head around it!
This is… This doesn’t make sense! What could I have possibly done to Phoebe!
I gave her confidence when she was about to be heartbroken, knowing she was a fake Saintess.
I even advised her to wait instead of foolishly jumping in and getting herself into trouble.
Not a single thing I did was against Phoebe, so why the rumors that I bullied her?!
I learned about this rumor from Visi.
This morning, after finishing training and on my way back, he came to me and asked, “Lady Allen, did you do something to the Saintess?”
So I said I hadn’t done anything, and he, knowing that I would say that, told me what he had heard.
Currently, among the students, it was spreading that I took Phoebe into my room and bullied her.
When I first heard it, I was so flabbergasted, I couldn’t utter a word. But upon thinking more deeply, there were some clues.
When Phoebe left my room yesterday, she didn’t look okay at all.
When she entered my room, Phoebe was alright, but by the time she came out, her eyes were red, she was a mess, and her voice was hoarse.
There was enough reason for suspicion.
This guessing turned into reality as I interrogated Avery.
According to her, my reputation had devolved from being competent and somewhat kinder than before to being labeled as an infamous troublemaker.
Looking at Avery, who was so scared she was stammering, I couldn’t help but feel my irritation flare up.
“Did you just sit there and listen to that?♡ Really?♡ What should I do?♡ This Shoddy Young Lady is so useless that I feel my mouth getting lighter!♡”
“No! I tried my best to defend Lady Allen! I truly did! But the rumor didn’t start with the nobles, so there’s a limit! Please believe me!”
Whether Avery desperately defended me or laughed inside at the insults I received, the rumor began to spread rapidly throughout the academy.
By the time class had just started that morning, it was merely whispering among those in the know,
but as class progressed, it reached various people,
and by lunchtime, most people knew it.
So what this means is that I’ve become the infamous trash who bullied the Saintess of the Lord Jushin Church, receiving overwhelming support both inside and outside the academy.
‘The stares from everyone are prickly.’
Since entering Lucy’s body, I’ve grown accustomed to the hostile gazes of others, but this was serious.
At least Joy and her clique didn’t openly criticize me, but everyone else didn’t hide their hostility towards me.
To bully the idol Phoebe was quite a problem.
Yet I hadn’t done anything bad to her!
[Won’t it be okay in time? If Phoebe explains, it will work itself out.]
‘Will it really be fine if Phoebe explains?’
In my mind, scenarios were already forming, you know?
Even if Phoebe says I didn’t do anything, others will clearly think the Saintess forgives even those who have wronged her!
There are bound to be people who think of punishing that trashy girl on behalf of the Saintess!
Ugh. I hadn’t thought of this.
Had I known, I would’ve sent Phoebe back after sorting myself out.
Now that I regret it, the deed has already been done.
Sigh. What can I do? I have to get used to it. It’s not like people haven’t frowned at me before.
Even while cutting my steak, those gazes won’t stop, making me feel like I’m going to choke.
Strange. This steak is soft, and the sauce is delicious, so I should be feeling good, but why does my mood drop each time I chew?
“Lady Allen.”
At the sound of my name being called, I turned my head to see Phoebe’s face filled with abundant remorse.
“Can I eat with you?”
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