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Chapter 75

“…What the heck.”

The Deputy Director’s dream lay bare before me, leaving me speechless.

I knew the Snow Mountain expedition disaster was horrific.

But I had no clue how it all started or how things progressed.

Thanks to the Deputy Director’s dream, I uncovered the truth.

In the end, the knight team that headed there never returned and has been recorded as missing until now.

Seventy missing persons.

It’s not just one country; for a mere Domain’s knights to have this many missing is no small matter. The Domain should be in emergency mode.

And this happened to a team made up of high-ranking officials.

Was the Knight Commander acting thoughtlessly?

I didn’t know what the Knight Commander’s original personality was like.

She could be impulsive, and this disaster might have resulted from some safety negligence.

But somehow, I didn’t feel like this was the kind of attempt that would have been made for that reason.

The Knight Commander knew she wouldn’t die.

Therefore, if she survived while everyone else perished, there wouldn’t be a heavier burden to carry for a lifetime.

She likely approached this matter after a long period of contemplation.

Lost in thought, I reached a certain conclusion.

If the action stemmed from that thought, all of this would make sense.

“…Carrying this heavy burden, it’s impressive that the Deputy Director hasn’t lost his mind yet.”

Nutricha, after witnessing the Deputy Director’s dream, expressed her bleak impression.

The dream simply showed the Deputy Director alone in his office at the knights’ headquarters.

The Deputy Director lay face down on the table, making no noise.

No tears streamed down.

No anger showed.

But a solid thought lingered.

Those who did not heed his warnings ended up dead.

If he had been more firm in his objections, those lives could have been saved.

So, he decided to be stern and cold towards his knights.

Even if they might dislike him, that was better than seeing his precious subordinates die.

For those who repeatedly ignored the warnings, he had already given up.

Those who didn’t stop and harmed others were quietly buried.

It was a wish to prevent another disaster like the Snow Mountain expedition.

“…How can I lighten this burden?”

My past life wasn’t exactly smooth sailing either.

So, I could understand the Deputy Director’s feelings better than anyone.

This wasn’t a wound that could heal just because someone helped.

“Hmm. Is that so? But honestly, I think ‘you’ could help.”

Nutricha saw it differently.

“What do you mean, ‘I’?”

“You did rescue that Knight Commander, didn’t you?”

Upon hearing that, I understood what Nutricha was getting at.

“You mean, since I rescued the Knight Commander and currently have the Deputy Director’s support, I could help lighten the burden?”

“Exactly.”

That wasn’t technically wrong.

The pain of loss could be healed by finding new support.

But it’s easier said than done.

Just blindly saying, “Tell me your wounds. I’ll listen,” is nothing but arrogance.

It would also be a rude act towards the subject.

So, it ultimately came down to opening the Deputy Director’s heart first.

While I pondered, a brilliant idea struck me.

If the plan fit perfectly, maybe I could help the Deputy Director not only open up but also stand up again.

However, I couldn’t do this alone.

I definitely needed someone’s help.

“Nutricha.”

“What? It seems you’ve come up with an interesting idea?”

“Yes. A very interesting idea that can solve our current situation.”

I took both of Nutricha’s hands.

She turned red and showed signs of panic.

“Wh-what is it? Why so suddenly…?”

“I need your help, Nutricha. It’s something I can’t do by myself. Won’t you lend a hand?”

Normally, requests should be made seriously.

So I made sure to meet her gaze and said it with a serious expression.

She widened her eyes in surprise, stammering and letting out a dry laugh as she shook her head.

“…You might want to think about your personal space a bit.”

“Hmm?”

“Never mind. You came all the way here to help me anyway, so I can agree to this small favor. What do you want me to do?”

“…Thank you.”

I then gently explained what we needed to do to Nutricha, who erupted into laughter upon hearing my plan.

“That’s a fun idea! Let’s do it right away!”

And so, we began.

The rescue operation for the Deputy Director, swallowed by unconsciousness.

#

Darkness surrounded.

A man trapped in despair.

Maren Burstian lay on the floor, unable to stand up.

He was incapable of any movement.

He could only lay there, crushed beneath the weight of his own emotions.

‘Is it not that?’

Maren thought maybe he simply didn’t want to get up.

“It’s all the Deputy Director’s fault.”

At that moment, the voice of the God of War echoed.

“If the Deputy Director had stopped me, I wouldn’t have faced such a futile death and could have lived with my daughter. Look at my daughter. She threw herself into this perilous path as a knight because of my death. That’s not the image I wished for.”

‘That’s right, it’s all my fault.’

Even if it was just a dream, the God of War’s words rang true.

It was because of him stepping back that all this happened.

If only he had desperately warned the Knight Commander.

Even if he couldn’t persuade the Knight Commander, if only he had convinced other members to force the Knight Commander to descend.

“Deputy Director.”

It was the Knight Commander’s voice.

“Why didn’t you stop me back then? Why did you allow me to become this pathetic being without intervention, lost as if I had dementia?”

The Knight Commander’s outburst pierced the Deputy Director’s ears, and he felt struck as if by a powerful blow, flying through the air and crashing against an invisible wall before collapsing again.

It hurt.

It stung.

It was sad.

…It was lonely.

“Having lost everything, of course, your heart would hurt.”

Just then, a voice echoed.

Ah, this voice seems familiar.

“Tanton, is that you?”

“You are eating yourself away in an attempt to understand those who acted selfishly, Deputy Director.”

Leydan Tanton.

Maren realized he couldn’t even show his face to him.

He didn’t want to take on the risk of indulging a criminal just waiting for execution in the underground prison.

So he allowed himself to dismiss the pain and directed it at the Outsider.

But Tanton, despite his wrongful actions, fought fiercely against the Watcher—a debt repaid with life.

“Are you really intending to disappear into the abyss of unconsciousness while carrying the weight of someone else’s unilateral actions as your own, Deputy Director?”

“…I’m not carrying the weight of someone else. This is my fault. If I had just been a little stronger back then…!”

Ah, how could someone be so virtuous?

Tanton, whom Maren thought was coming to scold him, was instead trying to understand and empathize.

No, this shouldn’t be.

He didn’t deserve such treatment.

Especially considering the Knight Commander’s erratic behavior from lost memories.

“Tanton, thank you. But I cannot accept this. In this case, I realized again while helping you that all I can do is clean up after others. For me to govern the knights? That’s truly a joke.”

Maren tried to smile as best as he could toward the direction Tanton’s voice came from.

“Tanton, thank you for everything. Seeing you here means you’ve resolved this matter. I’ll hand over the Deputy Director position to you. Ah, since I will meet my end here, I can’t take it. Once again, I will be a burden to the Princess.”

The most fitting end for himself.

Maren thought that and, with closed eyes, prepared to let the abyss envelop him.

“Maren Burstian.” (Nutricha/Fake Knight Commander)

Before Tanton fully called his name.

The traditionally soft and warm voice was gone, replaced by a grave tone that compelled Maren to lift his head.

And he couldn’t help but doubt his own eyes.

“What… It seems you’re mistaken.”

He couldn’t believe what was unfolding before him.

“So tightly wrapping up your heart and failing to look around, you see nothing.”

“Ah.”

Maren gasped.

It wasn’t merely Tanton’s voice.

“Deputy Director.”

The owner of the voice was different from reality.

It felt as if what he was seeing was a deception.

So, he felt relieved and incredibly happy, tears streaming down.

“It’s me. I kept you waiting a long time.”

The sight of the Knight Commander—a look of sorrow on her face before the tragedy struck—was all he had wished to see.

So Maren let out an exclamation of awe.


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