The room we stayed in was in the same building as Seo-A’s room, so the journey back wasn’t too long. Aurora didn’t say a word the entire way back.
“…”
And of course, neither did I, nor Linea and Rina. I had no idea what to say.
We just had to wait until she could accept it.
Even though Aurora held Seo-A’s hand and said it was okay, she probably couldn’t fully comprehend it as she spoke. Remembering how tightly she had closed her eyes or how she trembled even while holding hands, it seemed she was merely trying to come to terms with it.
Losing family from an unfortunate accident or illness would be hard enough to bear, but facing the one responsible for leading her family to death, regardless of whether they had sinned first, would evoke feelings that would be unbearable.
It was a horrific past that I couldn’t dare claim to understand.
“…”
Once we returned to the room, Aurora just sat in a chair with a blank expression, as if her spirit had left her.
Should I apologize?
If I had said nothing and just mentioned that the task was completed before quickly leaving, Aurora wouldn’t have had a reason to hear about her past.
Just as I was standing awkwardly a bit away, I felt someone tap my shoulder.
No, it was more like a thwack than a tap. It was a striking blow filled with emotion. It didn’t hurt much, probably thanks to Baal’s protection.
When I looked up, Rina was looking down at me.
She pointed to her back with her thumb, shaping her lips into ‘follow me’ before sneaking out of the room.
“…”
I stared at the door Rina had exited for a moment, then slowly rose to follow her.
*
“What are you going to do now?”
Rina asked, arms crossed, leaning against the hallway wall. She looked rather anxious, tapping one foot lightly against the ground.
When I stared at her blankly, Rina sighed and brushed her hair back.
“I mean, it’s kind of fine for me since I don’t have family, right? It’s how demons are. I can’t exactly call the witch who created me ‘mom.’ But her mom and dad were the ones who messed up, even if they were allies to demons. If they had stirred things up to a point where they had to confront the very person who led them to death, there must have been some reason for it, right?”
“Uh…”
There’s really no such reasoning. I had never set up such intricate backstories. Honestly, I wanted to rush back in time and kick my former self in the shins, shouting at it to not do that.
“Um, what about using holy power or something?”
“…If I could do that, I’d have converted the demons into good folks much earlier.”
Above all, if I could manipulate others’ feelings or memories, I would have sprayed holy power all over the world to rewrite the minds of those who consider me a goddess.
But of course, in this world that values human free will, such efficient magic didn’t exist. Most magic here was about breaking or fixing something.
“Why can’t you use holy power for that?”
“Holy power can’t fix mental issues. Even the sense of psychological safety is closer to relying on the goddess’ strength than a capability of holy power itself.”
“Is that so…?”
As Rina pressed her forehead while sighing heavily, I thought about their relationship. I didn’t think Aurora and Rina were particularly close, but they weren’t complete strangers either. They probably had formed a bond similar to typical classmates, even if not as strong as Linea’s and mine. Moreover, it seemed they shared some strange empathy given their overlapping backgrounds.
…Though the real issue would be how Aurora felt about her lineage going forward.
“I have a question too,” I said with a serious tone. “Did Aurora’s mother… really intend to turn over a new leaf?”
Rina, being a representative of “demons who’ve changed,” was right in front of me. Of course, her way of thinking was different from typical demons, but it wouldn’t be entirely useless for reference. She had seen demons from a different perspective.
“Honestly… I think there’s a high chance that was a lie.”
“Really?”
“She swung a sword at the end, didn’t she?”
When I tilted my head in confusion, Rina shrugged her shoulders and added, “Well, I’m a demon too, but I’m quite different from that demon standing there. Do you think you’d believe all demons are the same just because you see me?”
“…Well, I suppose that’s fair.”
Ultimately, we lacked enough information to judge, and even if we did pass a judgment now, we couldn’t change the past. Especially considering how she sparked sympathy by talking about her husband and children only to swing a sword at the end, it felt more like an excuse to escape than genuine remorse.
“Well, as you said, if souls are immortal, I guess it will eventually become clear.”
I sighed deeply, realizing that it was tough to find answers regardless of what we did.
*
“I’m fine.”
When Rina and I returned to the room, Aurora said that, leaving me speechless once again.
What should I even say to that? Saying “is that so?” doesn’t seem right since she didn’t look okay at all. Yet I felt it wouldn’t be appropriate to bluntly say “you don’t look fine” in front of someone who insists they are okay. After all, everyone copes with sorrow differently.
Some people cry loudly and let it all out, while others behave exactly as they did, waiting for the grief to slowly fade. Some dislike bringing up the issue, so saying something here would be a stretch in various ways.
Yet, I couldn’t just leave it be. No matter how I looked at it, she didn’t seem okay. Of course, I couldn’t just sarcastically point out to her that she looked off.
Resolved, I strode over and plopped down beside Aurora on her bed. Grabbing her hand, I looked straight at her and said, “Aurora, if there’s something troubling you, you must tell me. If it gets too hard to handle and you’re suffering, please let me know. I don’t know if I can help, but at the very least, I’ll stay by your side until it passes.”
“…”
Maybe my tone was a bit too intense because Aurora’s eyes widened as she looked at me.
“…Thank you.”
She said that and leaned against me. Not just leaning, but at some point, she was in my embrace.
Well, I kind of expected it… but it still felt a bit awkward. It wasn’t my first time hugging someone, but soothing someone like this was a new experience for me.
“…”
Not quite knowing what to say, I patted her head and gently stroked her back for a while in silence.
*
While I had no certainty, perhaps it was because I, ‘the goddess for now,’ had said those words, Aurora looked far better than when she’d heard them before.
She still occasionally wore a dark expression, but she didn’t seem to have lost her ability to speak entirely, nor did she sit there in silence or maintain an expressionless face.
Of course, for her wounds to heal properly, it would take a long time. The death of a parent was too heartbreaking to just brush aside, especially when the story around Aurora’s parents was far more complicated and dark.
How painful would it be to know someone’s mother had died yet to feel no resentment toward that event?
Seo-A bringing up that conversation might have been a product of circumstance, but perhaps it was also an attempt to seek forgiveness from Aurora. It was too heavy a burden to carry in silence forever.
…And someday, Erica would have to learn about it too.
At least with Aurora, spending enough time together had allowed me to understand her personality and be in a position to comfort her, but with Erica, it was different. I saw her often and talked to her frequently, but ultimately, I could only see Erica during school hours. Our time spent together was shorter than with other kids.
So saying “I’ll be by your side” was honestly a difficult thing to say to her.
Moreover, Erica seemed to think her parents died in a traffic accident still.
…I could only hope that Seo-A spoke to Erica well. It wasn’t something I could convey in her place.
“…”
On the returning plane, Seo-A ended up aboard as well. Seo-A couldn’t bring herself to look directly at Aurora. The same went for Aurora.
After exchanging light bows, they merely sat far apart, gazing elsewhere.
I couldn’t tell if the two would ever regain their original relationship. But that certainly wasn’t something I could force.
I silently prayed for the day the two would clear things up.
*
And several days passed.
Aurora gradually began returning to her daily life. She seemed somewhat calmer than before, but I was really grateful she came back with a bright demeanor.
Linea didn’t pry into Aurora’s past either. She treated her just like before.
When I lamented about how inconvenient it was to attend school since the cathedral had been designated a sacred site, the church quickly took action.
…They prepared a vehicle similar to the one I had taken from the Central Church.
As a point of reference, the distance from the convent to the academy was so short in a car that it was almost a waste of energy. Even while walking every day, I would arrive at school way earlier than others.
Well, even though crowds wouldn’t really block the main road, it was still considered a good idea. At least there was no need to be escorted around like a celebrity, and thankfully no one would be sneaking photos from an unknown direction, though I still couldn’t shake off the feeling of waste.
And even if driving was much quicker, the fact that I’d have to take the vehicle all the way to the cathedral gate, and once at the academy, I’d need a moment to park, made it feel like actual school time had increased.
The vehicle would stay parked at the academy until I finished classes, and the driver—who was a member of the Saint Knights—waited at the academy.
I wondered why it had to be so complicated, but since the time to challenge that had passed long ago, I figured I’d just go with it. After all, from the church’s perspective, wasn’t I a goddess? They were going to take great care of me, so who was I to complain?
…If I said I hated it all, I wouldn’t be surprised if a few hearts gave out. The saintly figures around me would probably just laugh it off.
Ah, speaking of being a goddess…
“Hello, today’s holy—”
I was about to greet them like usual when Selena momentarily halted and cut off her sentence.
“—No, one of you seems particularly more holy, huh?”
After a momentary glance at me, she finished her remark.
“…”
I was left speechless. Selena’s words had the undeniable ring of truth to them.
Today, I was walking around with a radiant halo floating behind my head since morning.
Not that I was doing it on purpose. Why would I deliberately do such a thing just to go to the academy? I wasn’t dressed in formal attire, nor did I have a veil on my head.
Yet there it was, a round halo typical of illustrations depicting saints, holy figures, or even gods, glowing behind me.
“Um, if I were to ask about that halo floating behind your head, would that be considered heresy?”
Selena asked seriously as she sat down. Her eyes shone brightly, possibly reflecting some of the radiant light.
“Well, from my perspective as someone being treated like a goddess, it doesn’t really feel like heresy.”
With a big sigh, I added, “But regardless if it’s heresy or not, I don’t even know what that light behind my head is.”
The driver had driven the van this morning with an extremely tense expression. The level of luminance coming from the backseat could have illuminated a camping site without an LED lantern, so even on a short drive, it was clear why he was so anxious. Depending on whether I sat left or right, the light reflected off the side mirrors, while it cast reflections in the rearview mirror if I sat in the center, creating a chaotic scene where he needed to drive carefully just to get to school.
“So you didn’t summon it yourself? And Ariel isn’t borrowing your body or something?”
“No.”
When I said that, Selena looked at me incredulously.
“A goddess is saying she doesn’t know what’s going on? That’ll cause a riot at the seminary.”
“The seminary has been in chaos since I arrived in this world.”
I corrected Selena’s remarks, which caused her to briefly wear a dazed expression.
“I’m not sure what I’ll do after I graduate, but at least I should stay away from theology.”
“That sounds like a very wise choice.”
I nodded seriously, and at that moment, Aurora, who had been deep in thought, chimed in.
“Perhaps the increase in believers has influenced Clara’s powers?”
“Influence of faith…?”
Considering it, it sounded quite plausible. I had heard about faith in Baal before, and when I first used my powers as a goddess, I had also heard the whispers of others praying to me in a dream.
Not just Aurora and Linea, but the other nuns staying at our convent likely felt the same.
“It could very well be. Have you ever heard others’ voices while sleeping, like last time when we heard ours?”
Linea asked seriously, and I pondered while staring into space.
“Hmm… I don’t think that’s happened yet…”
More importantly, if that were the case, I likely would not have woken up that morning. Back then, I had been in a faint for a while before waking up. I wasn’t sure about how it felt to hear prayers in the Temple of Gods, but it seemed that when I drew on my powers, I was likely in a state of deep trance.
“Oh!”
While I was lost in thought, a realization struck me.
“…Now that you mention it, I think they officially decided to hold sacred services at the cathedral starting today…”
Of course, the cathedral had always been open. If people wanted a service, they could gather during typical service hours, and if someone truly needed holy water, they could simply enter the open doors and ask a priest.
Moreover, the grounds were open for those taking walks, so many entered casually.
I wasn’t sure how it was back in the world I originally came from, but in a world where gods and goddesses actually existed, and where divine power and miracles were real, and where the church essentially held the same power as the government, it appeared pretty common for a church-like building to remain open to the public.
That said, it didn’t mean the prayer rooms were crowded. People usually hesitated to go inside. Honestly, it was way too quiet to feel entirely comfortable just barging in. Moreover, nuns and priests were always around.
The problem was, in this “world where gods exist,” there was a very place where “the goddess herself” had descended. The fact that this goddess was literally residing in the cathedral meant people couldn’t help but flock to it.
As a result, the prayer room ended up getting completely filled, leaving actual churchgoers unable to enter and pray.
So, as a countermeasure, the church introduced ‘services at the sacred site’ for a short time, scheduling only a few individuals at a time for prayer until things calmed down. They also restricted the original believers who used to attend services at this cathedral and locals only.
For visitors, they at least managed to offer ‘special services,’ and the devout locals could still pray in peace, but for the people managing the cathedral, it meant they were working almost non-stop.
…I felt bad for the priests and nuns at the cathedral, but I was thankful I had school to go to instead.
“So, are you saying that these people praying for you is what’s manifesting as this halo?”
Selena asked, slightly surprised.
“…That’s just a conjecture, though.”
“…”
She stared at me, mouth agape, then whispered, “…So you really are a goddess.”
…Well, I suppose I do have a somewhat divine presence.
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