Is faith and trust the same concept?
Rina felt that the nuances of those two words were slightly different.
For instance, not doubting the existence of a deity or not going against the will of that deity falls under the category of faith. Even if it’s not absolute, as long as the being in question is somewhat just and fair, it’s more advantageous to not resist.
Whether you genuinely respect the deity or follow them out of fear, both can be considered a form of faith. But that can’t be called trust. Trust is something built through ongoing interactions. Meeting someone for the first time, face to face, and after several encounters, deciding you can trust what they say—that’s trust.
So, to put it plainly, Rina had faith in the Demon God but didn’t particularly trust him.
The Demon God Baal exists. He is powerful enough to be called a god without shame. The strength gained by having faith in him is immense.
However, if that Demon God were to ask, “Will you do whatever I command?” Rina would hesitate.
Rina was a demon under the suspicion of the Witch. Not only was she merely beneath the Witch, but she was a creation of the suspicion the Witch designed. She does not think that makes her special. Even if she was relatively smarter and stronger than countless demons pouring out from the Magic Point, the expectations the Witch had for the entity called Rina were not very high.
Use her, if effective, and if not—dispose of her without hesitation, just like a pawn.
Yet, regardless, Rina, created by the Witch’s hands, had, whether she wanted to or not, some similarities to her Witch.
The point was she could not stop doubting.
Clara might think differently about the gods, but Rina, who would become the leader of a new sect, had no fundamental trust in them.
Thus, even if the gods were to demand a sacrifice for their sake, Rina likely wouldn’t comply.
A few weeks ago, when Clara fell beneath the ground on the battlefield, Rina was troubled. However, she never thought that Clara was dead. Of course, the chances of her being safe were far slimmer than the chances of her not being safe, and she knew that it was practically impossible for Clara to escape on her own.
She could heal her wounds, but if she died before that, what could be done? She was much stronger than an average human, but that didn’t mean she could beat several high-ranking demons. She might be able to use Baal’s Holy Power, but if she did that underground, the walls could collapse, burying her.
Even so, amidst her anxiety, it wasn’t easy to imagine Clara being dead.
It was not because she wanted to believe it; instead of wishing, “Please, stay alive,” the first thought was, “She wouldn’t just die, right?” It felt almost natural.
When Clara fell from the cliff, Rina had screamed, but now she thought like that.
Of course, it wasn’t as if she planned to take her time and stroll in nonchalantly.
So… well, Rina thought that was trust.
If asked whether she truly trusted Clara Anderson one hundred percent, she could undoubtedly say no. But at least, considering those aspects, Rina herself had seen Clara return alive in ways she never imagined far too often. Imagining that the Clara who had defeated the Witch, whom Rina feared, could die was extremely difficult.
She knew that this kind of thinking was dangerously naive.
If Clara truly dies or reaches a state close to death due to an incident later, Rina would undoubtedly be greatly shocked.
But even so, what could she do about something that she couldn’t even imagine?
Rina’s essence was undoubtedly ‘doubt.’ However, unlike most people, if she heard the news that Clara was dead, Rina would probably question, “Really?” rather than feeling sadness. She would likely start doubting the very fact of death.
And naturally, she would bet on Clara still being alive and act accordingly.
One of the facts about someone that is so solid that nobody could possibly break it.
Rina thought this was ‘trust.’
But that ‘trust’ was exceedingly fragile.
Ah, of course, the basic facts that formed that trust had not wavered. After all, there hadn’t been a situation in which Clara looked like she would die recently. At least, Rina had no reason to doubt whether Clara was alive or dead.
Yet, the damned saint couldn’t just spew the truth. Whether she genuinely thought that way or had fabricated a lie from the beginning, Clara Anderson could casually spit out falsehoods.
And the biggest victim of that falsehood was always Rina Hicks.
So… while Rina could express trust in Clara’s survival capability, it meant she could never trust her words.
“Say that again.”
Rina pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. Her tightly shut eyes were dark, just like her future unfolding after Clara’s response.
“Um… the gnomes we helped last time, they said they’d like to invite us to their area…”
Clara, who seemed to know her mistake, couldn’t bring herself to look Rina directly in the eye as she said that.
“When you first asked for help, didn’t you say that would be the end of it?”
It was when Rina was blessing the metal to be used in an explosive. Clara approached with an incredibly distressed expression and when Rina turned her down, she said that there wouldn’t be another request after this one, so Rina had accepted.
And the result was this. They had even received an official invitation from the area, asking for the chance to properly create that new concept of a bomb.
…Right, if one were to really consider it, part of this was Rina’s fault too.
She shouldn’t have trusted them from the start when they asked for help. The price of this misplaced trust was far too great.
“Don’t worry. Since they asked for a weekend, it won’t interfere with your studies—”
“Are you out of your mind? You’re going to ruin someone else’s weekend, you idiot!”
Unable to hold back any longer, Rina exploded. If Roni had been nearby, she might have seriously considered using Rina as a bomb instead.
“If it’s a formal invitation, then it should be a weekday! Do you expect me to fly for hours on a day I could at least rest? Think, will you? Think!”
“But if we don’t do it like that, it’s really dangerous! My grades are borderline as it is, and if I skip school and miss the test, it’s guaranteed I’ll fail!”
“That’s because you don’t study normally!”
Seeing Clara shout back, Rina held her neck in disbelief. Of course, she wasn’t at the age where high blood pressure was a concern, and even without considering her age, Rina was a demon. There was no way she would collapse from such a trivial thing.
But even so, why was the back of her neck feeling tight? This required investigation. That damned saint must possess some sort of telekinesis that unconsciously manipulates a person’s blood flow.
“I didn’t fail to study; I just couldn’t do it!”
Clara, who had been hit with the facts, made a serious face.
“Right, saying you can’t study fits better. So please, at least do as much as others. It stresses me out because of you.”
“No, it’s not that I can’t study, it’s just that I didn’t!”
“That’s how I ended up wasting my weekend, so of course, it’s important!”
Of course, Rina was currently living in a convent, so her weekends didn’t compare to others’ freedom. But still, with fewer tasks assigned than usual and having no time in the Academy, she could at least let her guard down a little. Moreover, the fact that Rina was close to Clara, the saint, and that she would become the leader of a new sect meant that the tasks handed to her had decreased significantly.
The roommate who didn’t fully understand the reasons behind it often looked at Rina enviously, but that was irrelevant to Rina.
“Ah, seeing as you’re complaining about wasting your weekend, it seems you’ve decided to accept.”
Upon hearing that, Rina smacked her forehead with her palm.
This damned saint surprisingly had a sharp mind in this regard. It wasn’t that she was fundamentally foolish, so why was it that she couldn’t study no matter what? Rina knew Clara had received direct tutoring from Selena during vacation, yet her grades showed no improvement—it was a mystery.
In fact, whenever this saint asked Rina for something, it often came after an incident had already taken place. There were many situations where Rina had no choice but to say yes, even when she wanted to refuse. That had always been the case.
From the very beginning.
Even the day she first went to school and Clara had suddenly appeared, pulling her into an alley, there was no time to refuse. Clara hadn’t even been a saint then; she was just a nun at that time, and Rine was merely being followed by Linea and Aurora.
Somehow, Clara had known Rina was a demon. Yet, it didn’t seem like she ever intended to kill her.
…Well, she had threatened by manifesting Holy Power in front of her, but still. Thinking back, even if Rina had refused, Clara would have never genuinely wanted to harm her.
When dragged to the cathedral to prove her faith, there had been no options left. After all, for her own safety, Rina had to provide the church, which was supposedly protecting her, with a solid reason not to harm her.
Of course, looking back, it could be considered the worst possible decision that led to the current situation.
The worst part was, there was no malice in any of this.
Rather, all actions were filled with goodwill. Regardless of the outcome, Clara had acted solely to thoroughly protect Rina. And upon examining that, yes, it was undeniably effective.
So serious that it bordered on extreme.
So extreme that it overwhelmed the recipient.
The most infuriating thing was that because of this, while it was possible to complain about the local damage incurred at the moment, it was impossible to deny the actions themselves.
“……”
Rina sighed deeply, placing her hand on her forehead. Yeah, she wasn’t at fault… While it couldn’t be said that there wasn’t a grain of malice… still, every other aspect stemmed purely from good intentions… there was no reason for her to be angry at that…
…It was just a somewhat dim-witted, kind kid purely doing something naive and innocent…
Thinking about what she would have thought if she had heard this herself, Rina managed to calm herself down with a sigh before finally responding.
“Yeah, if I say I’m not going, you’d drag me there by any means, wouldn’t you? The moment you asked, the choice to run away was gone.”
“Well, that is true…”
As Rina made it clear she had given up, Clara instead seemed taken aback.
“W-well, it will definitely work out in our favor! A bomb powered by Holy Power would obviously be effective against the demon army!”
“If you can withstand a bomb that can melt the space, it’s a problem well beyond demons or humans, isn’t it?”
“Um…well, that is true…”
Clara, who wore a blank expression for a moment after hearing Rina’s response, quickly shook her head.
“Anyway, you’ll accept, right? I’ll tell Roni we’ll go together?”
…Indeed.
That was the most skillful part of her.
While Clara was someone who only acted with overflowing goodwill, she instinctively recognized what would benefit her. She knew full well it was much better to have someone else beside her instead of handling everything on her own.
And she also understood that it was quite better for the person next to her to earn the credit rather than herself.
In doing that, she also knew that shifting the burden onto another person wouldn’t be viewed too negatively in terms of morality or personal reputation.
It wasn’t something Rina wanted to acknowledge, but in that sense, she and Clara shared similarities.
Ultimately reluctant to answer, Rina gave a long sigh before nodding her head instead.
*
Who was the first one to decide that this lewd outfit was called a nun’s habit?
If you ask me, it had to be some insane pervert. If not, then it must have been some hormonal middle school brat, brimming with youthful vigor and viewing all the girls around him as lustful beings. However, the possibility of a middle schooler with that mindset being an important figure in the church was virtually zero, leading Rina to be convinced that a perverted middle-aged man occupied a high position in the church at that time.
Isn’t it obvious? Most of the nuns are orphans under the age of twenty. Naturally, the majority of those wearing nun’s outfits are teenagers. Since monastic clothing also appears normal, it’s almost certainly true.
That’s why Rina didn’t like the nun’s outfit. It reminded her of the school uniform she wore at the start of the semester, which clung to her body like glue.
No, to be precise, this outfit was even more revealing.
Moreover, what about the clothing worn by the Saint? At least Rina’s nun outfit was somewhat loose, except that it exposed her legs, but the custom Saint’s robe was basically crafted to fit her body snugly, revealing every curve and contour vividly.
Hearing Clara complain that it wasn’t too tight in not being able to complain, Rina was deeply grateful that she was not a saint. Though she didn’t even know who she should be thankful to.
And to think she had to wear such clothing at an official event—
“Ugh.”
—she thought it was something she would absolutely never do, but then Rina caught sight of Clara and her thoughts ground to a halt.
Clara, who had come out fully dressed for the welcome ceremony, wasn’t in her usual white Saint’s robe that exposed her legs and highlighted her figure.
Instead, she was wearing clothing closer to that of a Pope, with thick fabric wrapped around her body in multiple layers.
When Clara stepped out of the airplane cabin wearing that outfit, her eyes met Rina’s for a moment, and she looked surprised before glancing down at Rina’s nun outfit once, then at her own, and then smirked at Rina.
She smiled?
Rina felt her temper flare but managed to hold it in. After all, Clara was one of the heads of the church. Up until early this year, she hadn’t been a prominent figure in society, but now, she was undoubtedly recognized as the representative of the church. Honestly, if you asked someone on the street who the highest position in the church was, it wouldn’t be odd if they answered Saint Clara Anderson.
A being that had accomplished feats no one else in all humanity had achieved in barely over a year would either be deemed a god or a demon.
Moreover, soon the official welcome from the Gnome society was set to commence. Outside, besides representatives of the Gnome society, there were also local dignitaries and church figures gathered.
If she were to even think about pulling Clara’s hair, she’d be perfectly placed to be suspected of attacking a saint.
It wasn’t just suspicion; it was indeed the truth, but that didn’t matter.
And it regrettably seemed Clara was well aware of that.
“Are you perhaps envious of this outfit?”
“……”
Saying it wasn’t envious would be a lie. To be truthful, she was envious. It was not the outfit’s glamour or the meaning behind it that she envied. She envied possessing a means that could be less embarrassing at an official gathering.
“If you’re envious, I could ask around—”
“No, I don’t need it.”
Having an inkling of what would follow, Rina decisively refused.
“Besides, all of your aides behind you wear the same thing, right? If I just stand nearby, they’ll assume I’m part of that group.”
Clara, who had been feeling confident, suddenly shifted to a sulky expression.
“Even though I’ll naturally rise to a high standing by just standing still…”
“Even so, I have no intention of reaching the same level as you! What do you think you’re doing?”
Seeing Rina’s incredulous expression, Clara’s eyes twitched up, but it seemed she herself recognized how blatant that was, and in the end, she couldn’t find anything to say.
It felt awkward to see such a sense of equality showing on someone dressed in an impressive Pope outfit.
“…Fine. This time, I’ll admit that this happened because I messed up, so I’ll be more cautious.”
Watching Clara confidently declare that, Rina facepalmed.
No, this couldn’t just be about this instance.
Clearly, if she began detailing everything, she wouldn’t keep up with the schedule, and so, Rina pushed her grievances to the back of her mind.
That mindset itself was the very proof that she was adapting to these situations, something only Rina remained oblivious to.
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