Chapter: 862
Knock knock-.
I could hear something burning all around. With my blurred vision, I stared at the source of the sound.
Sparks were slowly falling from the sky, and following them, something else also plummeted to the ground.
Thump-.
A small sound echoed throughout the vast space.
Knock knock.
Knock knock.
The sparks that had landed on the ground seemed as if they had forged a path, and I followed them to my destination.
Approaching the destination, I noticed something lying on the ground. It had its chest pierced through.
Cracks were slowly forming around the hole in its chest.
Crackle-.
Not only that, but the very space was starting to crack as well.
“Ssss….”
The breath I exhaled was filled with heat. That sensation caressed my chest.
Whooooo.
The heat that had vanished was gradually returning.
After days of absence, I felt welcome, but for some reason, I remained silent.
My weary body felt more like it was floating rather than fatigued.
I couldn’t quite grasp why I wasn’t sensing that I was running at all.
It felt like if I let my guard down for even a moment, I would be whisked away somewhere.
The sensation of the flame blending with my body. It was the exact feeling I had when I first consumed the Dokcheondan I created.
Back then, I struggled to maintain it somehow.
But now, I found myself not caring about it at all.
I was simply too preoccupied with watching the person sprawled out.
[Sssu… sssu…]
The shallow breaths flowed from him. His gaze seemed to fade, as if the end was nearing.
Starting from his chest, his body was beginning to shatter.
He was slowly dying, as if he really was at the end.
Or was it? Should I really describe it as dying?
Is he simply losing his vigor?
Countless thoughts flitted through my mind, but that wasn’t what I was pondering right now.
“Hey.”
At my call, he turned his gaze towards me.
Staring at him, I asked, “Why did you let me see it?”
[…]
He offered no response. His eyes just bore a resigned look, as if accepting the present.
That irritated me even more.
“I asked why. Why did you let me see it?”
No matter how much I had surpassed my previous incarnation, he was not me from that life.
“You. You could’ve done more, right?”
Moreover, he could have ended it ages ago. It was the same when he used Heocho to drop the salt water on me.
If he truly intended to kill me, I would have already been dead.
Yet.
“Why didn’t you?”
He didn’t do that; he kept presenting me with opportunities.
He kept provoking me, managing to stoke my anger somehow.
Like…
“Did you want me to realize something?”
As if he wished for me to come to an understanding. But what was it that he wanted me to understand?
I didn’t delve too deeply into it. I already knew the answer.
“Did you hope I realize that your flame is mine?”
The flame residing within me is entirely mine. The instant I recognized that and aligned it, I could turn his flame into my own.
It was simple. All it took was acknowledgment.
However, was that all he concocted this mess for?
Why?
I couldn’t comprehend it at all, prompting me to ask once more.
[…You’re mistaken.]
Only then did he respond.
[You may never truly understand.]
“…Why do you think that?”
[Because you possessed too much.]
“…”
The voice that accompanied his breath clearly held the weight of exhaustion.
[You didn’t pay attention to anything else because it was overwhelming. You’re just that type of person.]
I had no refutation, for that was indeed the reality.
“… So, did you go through all this trouble just to tell me that?”
Was the reason you pushed me to the brink of death to make me grasp this?
That thought was frightening.
[Don’t get it wrong.]
He spoke to me with a growl in his voice.
[I wanted to kill you, no matter what.]
There was a distinct murderous intent in his tone.
[The way you secretly dreamt of hope, thinking it was a new chance. The way you tried to believe you could atone for things no one would remember… it’s simply disgusting.]
“…”
[Furthermore.]
Crack, crack. He scratched the ground with his fingertips, hard enough to see them break beneath the pressure.
[That desperate attempt to escape the karma bestowed upon you is equally repulsive. I detest you.]
Listening to him, I quietly clenched my fist.
It was a painful story I couldn’t counter.
[Do you know why I look like this in front of you?]
“…Um.”
[Because you haven’t managed to escape this existence.]
The reason he mirrored my past life was due to my inability to break free from that time.
That too, I couldn’t refute.
In truth, I hadn’t been different.
[You’re still inept and insignificant. You haven’t managed to escape anything. Do you believe you’re struggling to get away from it? You’re wrong.]
Resentment colored his gaze.
[Are you aware of the nature of your karma?]
I knew. I wanted to claim I did. Yet, the words wouldn’t form.
[You don’t know. If you did, you wouldn’t be behaving this way.]
He was so certain. How could he be so unwavering in his certainty?
You mentioned you have seen more of me than I have. Is that the reason?
[The karma you carry is inherited through blood. That’s what being the head of the family means. The same goes for the deputy head.]
My eyes narrowed.
[Do you know what you gain by becoming the family head?]
I nodded.
The power to unlock the door in the family’s basement. And, to be able to leave the family at will.
At least, that was the line I’d crossed.
[Erasing the walls the world erected against humanity.]
“…!”
I needed to widen my eyes at his words.
“… What?”
[Do you honestly believe that you suddenly became stronger just by having magic backing you? You’re mistaken.]
[That merely offered some assistance. What truly matters is the authority granted by becoming a deputy head.]
A few years ago, Noya mentioned:
The current world didn’t want warriors to become excessively powerful, hence, they had placed restraints on them.
For that reason, it was said that warriors’ levels were drastically lower than before the Blood Demon era.
‘… If I become the deputy head, will those walls vanish?’
That was a brand new revelation to me.
He must have already known I would be surprised. He continued to elaborate.
[That’s right. You fled from your father before he could enlighten you.]
“…”
[No, this indeed falls on your father. He must have held you dear.]
What does that mean?
When did my father ever value me enough to say something like that?
My mind was a tangled mess, making it hard to comprehend.
Why is it that becoming a deputy head provides such privileges? What on earth defined the family…
Is there more to it than I had grasped?
As I rolled my eyes around, he shot back.
[Don’t spout nonsense.]
He roared angrily at me.
[Do not mistake this curse for a privilege or a boon. It is merely a reprieve warranted by necessity from the world.]
“What does that even mean…?”
[It’s a process prepared to forge the vessel faster. It’s the only way to keep it manageable.]
Forging a vessel? I focused on that.
Is this aimed at rapidly strengthening the deputy head of the family?
“… Why is that?”
[Because a vessel that withstands karma cannot afford to be weak.]
Thump, thump. My heart began to pound more rapidly once again.
[Thus, when you become a deputy head and have nine rings… you will be granted the qualification.]
“… What does that qualification entail?”
[The qualification to ascend to the head.]
“….”
Only by becoming a deputy head and ascending to the Gu Flame Wheel Technique could one then rise to the head.
I was unaware of that condition.
[It’s naturally expected that you’d be ignorant. You were unqualified, and your father likely didn’t wish for you to know.]
Hehe…
The guy chuckled lightly.
[What an utter fool. Is your way of protecting your child so contorted?]
Protecting the child? I suppose that child refers to me. Did my father attempt something to shield me?
I didn’t understand and had to await further explanation.
[You must have never considered this even for a second.]
His face was overflowing with mockery.
[You are the one who attained the position of deputy head. Still, you fled from the family. Why didn’t your father come to bring you back?]
“…”
[Was it because he lacked the capability to do so? Nonsense. There aren’t many beings on this land who can defeat your father. Do you believe you’re among them?]
He couldn’t even catch the Heavenly Horse while forming an alliance. I was convinced of this during my past battle with my father.
I couldn’t even grasp the hem of my father’s garment.
So, I contemplated.
The reason my father didn’t come to retrieve me must have simply been that he had given up on me.
That’s how I believed.
But.
[He was merely comfortable.]
His narrative was different.
[He was simply observing, as he didn’t want to imprison you again.]
[What a truly foolish guy.]
Crack.
The guy’s hand ultimately shattered.
[Running from the blood’s karma doesn’t amount to anything. Eventually, someone must bear it. Let me pose a question.]
His trembling voice steadied as he asked me.
[When you reached that point in your past life, you never became the head of the family. Then…]
Crackle, crackle. The speed of the breakdown surged even faster.
[The karma you did not bear… Who do you believe bore it?]
“…”
A dagger sliced through the air, embedding itself in my chest. It felt as if a blunt object was hammering down upon a nail.
Even if I wished to forget, memories flooded in.
My father, who whimpered from my blow.
The sight of my father growing frailer and older as the stakes scattered.
“Ah….”
At last, I could hardly breathe.
[The time has come. Though the moment has arrived, nothing has been acted upon. Hence, your father should have vacated the head position long ago and departed for his karma, yet he didn’t.]
[The world doesn’t exhibit the mindfulness to recognize such emotions.]
[Then, what was it your father faced?]
My hands trembled. And then.
[Whatever it was, it embodies the wrath of the world.]
His last declaration pierced through me.
[It’s not something an ordinary human can endure.]
[He barred it all. Merely for your sake, a worthless being. You, in your incompetence, must have been clueless regarding this and didn’t seek to know. That’s precisely who you are.]
“…”
My legs felt so weak that they might buckle at any moment.
I barely managed to hold on. I still had questions to voice.
“… What is the karma of the head?”
[Why, do you wish to take responsibility for it now?]
“…”
[Your inquiry comes too late. If you desire an answer, consult your father. I question whether he would explain it adequately.]
His tone dripped with scorn, yet I shook it off.
[And thus, I find you detestable.]
The resentment in him was faintly comprehendible.
At this moment, I resented myself just as much.
My vision blurred. What could this be?
Is my sight truly fading?
[So now, I’ll ask again.]
Uncertain of what it was, I rubbed my eyes with my hands.
Then, at that moment.
[Why do you exist?]
Drip.
Something streamed down my cheek.
It was tears.
“Ahhh…”
Realizing this, I couldn’t hold back any longer and ended up shielding my face with my dry hands.
[What on earth are you doing alive?]
Answers didn’t come to me. I too wanted to question myself—why am I even alive?
Atone for my sins? Was it solely for that purpose? If so, perhaps it would have been better to die.
Was it simply that I found the new world pleasing?
Was I glad to be in a world where no one is aware of my transgressions?
Or perhaps.
I just enjoyed watching over children. Was that the reason?
I had no idea. Nothing surfaced.
[Respond.]
“… Just…”
Absolutely nothing came to mind, so the only thing I could declare was this single, desperate truth.
“I wanted to live…”
[…]
I simply wanted to live, without embellishing or justifying it.
Stupidly and naively, that had been my answer.
No atonement, no longing, no fears.
All the reasons condensed into that one determination.
I didn’t want to die like that.
Thus, I wanted to live.
The words I uttered through a tearful voice felt disgraceful.
[… Ah…]
He chuckled, as if finally grasping my words.
[I hadn’t expected it to be this hard to hear those words.]
“… What?”
[You should leave now. I don’t wish to see your face anymore.]
I tried to inquire what he meant, but as soon as he spoke, my vision faded instantly.
*
Knock knock.
Tap tap.
A place where not even a sound remains.
In an area filled only with the sound of smoldering embers lay a being resembling a goblin.
[Hoooh…]
He let out a breath laden with exhaustion.
Really, I’m utterly drained.
This is the first time in hundreds of years that I’ve felt this worn out.
[…What a bunch of incompetents.]
Does that insufferable stubbornness stem from me?
It is incredibly frustrating when people refuse to lend an ear.
Is there really not a single honest person among them? I found every one of them disagreeable.
And then.
[… I’m sorry.]
With the weight of all those events resting upon him, the goblin quietly offered an apology.
Tap tap. Tap tap.
The sound of the embers crackling grew louder. Before long, this very space will likely crumble.
Then, he would drift into another deep slumber.
As he pondered over this, the goblin gently closed his eyes.
Suddenly,
Footsteps echoed unexpectedly from behind.
The goblin stirred slightly at the sound. He felt no surprise; he already knew who it would be.
[What an unnecessary disturbance.]
The figure that appeared, upon hearing the goblin’s words, smiled.
[Even had you not meddled, the child would have figured it out. I warned him long ago not to interfer in my affairs, didn’t I?]
“I acknowledge that part.”
[Ha!]
Hearing that, the goblin started to rise.
[Didn’t I advise you last time? To raise your voice?]
He glared at the individual before him. It was a woman.
A woman with black hair and purple eyes, holding a child whose demeanor didn’t seem particularly pleasant.
She looked at the goblin and spoke,
“I don’t raise my voice to anyone. Technically speaking… I sometimes raise it for one person, but…”
[Still the same insufferable woman, huh? Doesn’t she realize that child is mine?]
In response, the woman smiled again, as if to answer.
The goblin clicked his tongue softly at her laughter.
[You seem to be lacking too. Your taste in men is just that poor.]
“It’s relatively high. Hence, I have no regrets.”
[Tsk…]
What a dimwit! The goblin swallowed those words.
Arguing with that woman would change nothing. If he had to say anything, it would have been she’s pitiable. That would have been the appropriate sentiment.
A tragic soul who sacrificed everything for a useless brat.
That’s why the goblin couldn’t bring himself to dislike the child.
[If you worried so much, why didn’t you simply show up?]
“No.”
The woman was still smiling, though he could sense it had subtly changed.
“That’s not in his best interest.”
[…Tsk.]
“I merely wanted to see your face for a moment before you dozed off. Even if it isn’t real, I wished to see that face.”
If one were to envision the goblin’s visage as someone’s, they would surely understand the meaning behind her words.
The woman walked away, contentedly clutching the sleeping child as if satisfied.
The goblin watched her retreating figure before lying back down.
And that marked the end of their exchange.
As he gradually closed his eyes, slumber beckoned him as if it had been waiting all along.
Before plunging back into another lengthy sleep.
The goblin thought of the woman and murmured,
[This is a small token of comfort I offer you.]
A gift covertly granted to an incompetent descendant for the sake of a woman.
Whether he would catch wind of it remained uncertain.
Hopefully, he would notice before it was too late.
And so the goblin gazed forth and fell into a deep sleep once more.
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