Chapter: 641
I couldn’t find my voice at the words and gaze of the dragon.
I understood what he meant. I’d seen that look before.
It was just a few years ago, not an ancient past at all, that I witnessed it from none other than myself.
“What’s the point of living alone after losing your wife and child? The pillars supporting my life have crumbled, and the spirit that used to burn with vigor has long since cooled.”
I forced a bitter smile while chewing on the words of the dragon.
I had lost a partner who was as dear as a wife. I lost friends who were as precious as lovers. I lost a future I dreamed of, filled with a lovely child.
‘The pillars have collapsed, and the spirit has cooled.’
How true those words were. I had felt that way six years ago, just after the Great Hunt War ended when I lost everything.
The pillars that supported me fell, and the vitality that once energized me cooled down to the coldest of temperatures. The warmth of the past felt like a lie, so utterly miserable.
In fact, back then, I could have given up on life. Having lost everything, I had no lingering attachments, and there was no reason left to continue living. I could gladly follow those I had lost.
Yet, the reason I didn’t give in and held on was simple.
“I thought I didn’t even deserve to give up.”
The life that had been saved by those who had laid down their lives was no longer mine alone. A fake, having usurped the original owner, wouldn’t just end its own life.
Moreover, there was still so much I had to accomplish before dying. Even attachments I thought I no longer had were sprouting back up.
“If I die now, the peace I’ve finally gained would be shattered.”
Even if it was a half-baked peace without Dorgon, peace was still peace. It would be a disaster if the newly appointed Executive Manager, responsible for supporting the rightful heir, were to die now, just after forcibly dethroning the Second Prince.
And I wanted to punish the Aesilong family, the root of all evil, alongside the Second Prince. If I didn’t achieve that, I felt I wouldn’t be able to close my eyes, and after finally getting that revenge, I found myself continuing to live out of sheer inertia.
‘That dragon must have been in a similar place.’
The dragon, having lost his wife and children, had lent his hand to Livnoman for his own desires. If that were the case, then the death of the dragon’s family must have been due to Apels.
Fortunately, the dragon, like me, had got his revenge, but that was where it ended. With no reason left to continue living, he lost his drive and desire. He was merely living on inertia, just as I once had.
Three hundred years had passed since Apels’s downfall, so it seemed absurd to live for three hundred years on inertia, but dragons aren’t just long-lived; they live for eternity. Surely, three hundred years was ample time to carry on by sheer habit.
‘Could I have ended up like that?’
For a moment, as I looked into the dragon’s empty eyes, I entertained the thought. It dawned on me that this dragon might have been my future.
The only reason I had changed from living on inertia was that I had received Mar’s confession. I had co-workers and subordinates whom I could share bonds with, even if they were the same ones I regarded as enemies. I had family I could count on, opening up to those I had kept at a distance. Because of that, a new pillar was born for me.
But what about that dragon? After achieving his revenge, everything seemed to end. He had neither found a new connection nor discovered a reason to live. He had no lingering guilt of having usurped someone else’s life like I had. Hence, he wished to give up on life himself.
‘…Would I be able to persuade him?’
My heart felt heavy. I could barely speak, knowing even a bit of the dragon’s suffering. The thought that I could have walked a similar path made it impossible for me to utter any words of comfort.
Whatever I said would be nothing more than an empty echo to that dragon. All my words had probably been self-repeats over the centuries.
Logically, I concluded that persuasion was futile and that simply leaving would be the easiest thing for both of us.
‘But that can’t be it.’
At the same time, my heart cried out fiercely.
Don’t turn your back on that pitiful dragon. Don’t abandon a being that could be my future. Help him find a new life, as I did.
The reason was simple. That dragon represented a future I might have faced, and ultimately, a future I was destined to experience myself.
‘If my lifespan were to extend, I would end up like that.’
If I lived for hundreds of years like Trixie, I would have to say goodbye to my wives and children first.
Sure, Trixie might still be by my side, but letting go of those treasured bonds would never change. If, on those grounds, I ignored another being’s suffering, who would comfort me when that pain came knocking on my door?
“You must have endured so much. I can like, practically understand why you’d make that choice.”
At my words, the dragon’s eyes widened for a moment.
“That’s unexpected. Lord Krasius told me to build a new pillar as soon as he heard me.”
“Unlike him, I was able to listen to your heart because of your kindness. It would be rude for me to tell you how to feel.”
“Hmm…”
The dragon’s wide eyes gradually narrowed into slits.
“To put it simply, I thought I wouldn’t be able to return. I even had words prepared for a long conversation that now seem pointless.”
Then came a faint, almost imperceptible laugh.
It was so weak that if I lost focus even for a moment, I might have missed it entirely.
“Elder.”
“Are you planning to leave now? You came all the way to this desolate place, so you can at least teleport back.”
“No, that’s not it…”
As I casually surveyed my surroundings, I sat my butt down on a nearby rock where some rabbits were gathering. I might as well set up a chair, since this conversation could take a while.
Fortunately, the dragon didn’t seem the type to say anything like, “How dare a mortal sit in my presence!” If such words came out, it would suggest a stronger desire for life than I assumed.
“May I speak about myself for a moment?”
“Yourself?”
At my proposal, the dragon fell silent for a moment, then nodded steadily.
“Well… do as you wish.”
Good thing the permission had been granted.
*
I had expected that the Lord would send someone. He was a warm-hearted person and loved reminiscing about those who still remembered the Great Emperor Amanca.
However, I never anticipated that he would send such a peculiar fellow.
“I’m technically the lead team leader, yet I was worked to the bone! Sure, I’m the youngest, but my position and status should put me above all that! They dumped all kinds of work and tormented me as if they had no idea about hierarchy.”
“Is that so.”
“One of those idiots even tried to drink disinfectant alcohol, thinking it was liquor. They thought they were being clever by diluting it with water or straining it through bread, but come on, that was bound to go horribly wrong! The next thing I knew, I woke up to someone screaming about not being able to see!”
“That does sound unfortunate.”
Clearly, they had come to persuade me, but instead, they were just rambling about their own tales.
“Looking back, he was a guy who could have dropped dead at any moment. In a way, it’s lucky he died from a fight rather than booze.”
He even laughed while recounting tales of his dead friend.
It was strange. I knew human lifespans were microscopic compared to ours, but this kid was still young by human standards. I couldn’t wrap my head around how someone so young could lose a friend, let alone a partner, and still find a way to smile about it.
What’s going on here? Is this a case of a madman whose mind has twisted due to shock? Or is he just some weirdo who doesn’t give a damn about others’ deaths?
‘That’s not the case, though.’
In an instant, that thought crossed my mind, but I quickly shook it off.
The Lord wouldn’t send someone similar to that to a dragon who had chosen eternal rest, and this kid’s words, while lighthearted, were free from madness.
That only made it all the more perplexing. Why did this kid speak about the deaths of his loved ones—with a smile, no less? How could he do that? Is it because human life is short that their shocks are brief and trivial?
“Elder.”
“Speak.”
As I gazed down at the human kid, he looked back up at me, changing his expression.
“What kind of person was your wife and child?”
“What?”
At his follow-up question, I straightened my posture.
‘How rude.’
But seeing as the Lord sent him and he wasn’t deliberately irritating me, I was willing to let it slide.
Still, how dare he bring up her and that child in front of me?
How dare, as a human?
‘You’re from the race that took everything from me.’
My hands twitched, but I held back. I knew well that the current Empire was different from the Apels who had pierced my heart.
To hate them all because of the actions of a few would be foolish, especially when humans live such short lives.
“Why are you angry?”
‘This brat…’
My barely restrained emotions were on the verge of exploding once again—
“Why can’t you smile when you’re recalling those whom you loved the most?”
“Um…”
“You’re the only one left in this world to remember them. Why are you turning your back on their memory?”
…
“Why would you choose eternal rest, unable to even recall the memories of those who meant so much to you?”
“Enough.”
I interrupted the human kid’s words.
I had no doubt where the next part of his speech was headed.
“All that bluntness comes from an unexpected source, given how rough your exterior seems.”
“I apologize, but nobles lose much if they lack eloquence.”
“True enough. That much doesn’t seem to change, even after thousands of years.”
Sighing softly, I once again settled back down to the ground.
“Human child.”
“Yes, Elder.”
“Did you love those you lost?”
“More than I loved myself.”
“Do you miss them?”
“If I were to meet them again, I’d probably cry for a whole day.”
Nodding at his unhesitant response, I felt a sense of kinship as I had the same feelings.
“Then how did you overcome that pain?”
“Unfortunately, I didn’t overcome it.”
“Then why, pray tell, are you smiling?”
“The pillar forming in my heart is taller than the void left behind.”
At his words, I closed my eyes for a moment.
“I have lost my family that I spent hundreds or thousands of years with.”
I opened my eyes again.
“Do you think you can erect a pillar as massive as that void?”
“I can’t guarantee it. My life might never amount to it, so how could I be sure?”
The human kid who spoke those words stood up and hugged some nearby rabbits close to him.
“But I know you are ready to erect a pillar.”
I glanced down at the tiny rabbits he held in his arms.
Even those feeble, insignificant creatures stared up at me with perked ears.
“…Child.”
“Yes, Elder.”
“Your lifespan is but a fleeting moment compared to mine. It’s a time so negligible that comparison is impossible.”
“I know.”
“Thus, I will put aside my will for that brief moment.”
Indeed, I’ve already endured three hundred years without dying. Adding a few more decades wouldn’t change anything.
“I will inform the Lord that I shall remain silent until I see your eternal rest, given that I respect your face and efforts.”
“I will come to greet you from time to time.”
“Feel free.”
With a light grin, I plucked a scale from my upper arm.
“You had every chance to take my flesh. You deservedly relinquished that opportunity, so I shall give you this.”
“Thank you, Elder.”
As I regarded the respectfully bowing human child, I opened my mouth one last time.
“Child, what name do you bear?”
“I am Kal Krasius of Tailglehen.”
I nodded, absorbing that needlessly long name into my memory.
This was my first time memorizing a human’s name since the Great Emperor Amanca.
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