Chapter 227
I dashed wildly, following my feet without a care for face or authority. I blocked out all the noise around me.
I felt that if I stopped here, I’d never catch up with the baby. Every second felt like it could mean losing her forever.
What use are all these titles and accolades if the baby is gone? In a world where the baby isn’t there, what do titles like Duke or Mage Duchess even mean? I could have everything, but without the baby—the absolute priority—what would it all be worth?
‘Where are you, baby…’
But no matter how much I ran, I didn’t see her anywhere. My breaths came in gasps, and fatigue began to set in. It felt as if the very sky was collapsing around me.
Without my magic, I felt so powerless. The baby could make me feel like this—completely insignificant and utterly helpless.
Tears streamed down my face again, and my vision blurred. I had dismissed the baby for no good reason. I ignored her pain, her opinions, acting like I knew best as if she would just accept everything.
“Baby, baby…”
I trembled with self-loathing. I lost all strength in my legs and collapsed.
There wasn’t even time to wallow in guilt. I had to apologize. Whether I was forgiven or not didn’t matter; I had to make a gesture. I couldn’t let the last memory I had with the baby be marred by my own ugliness.
I forced my trembling legs to move again. I stumbled repeatedly but got back up, desperately grabbing passersby, asking if they’d seen the baby. Each time, I received horrified looks, but I didn’t care.
“A man in a black uniform went that way. Not sure if he’s the Executive Manager, though…”
Fortunately, I made progress. Thanks to a shopkeeper’s response, I found out where the baby had headed.
Finally, I arrived at the mansion—the baby’s mansion.
‘There she is.’
I genuinely felt relief. I had worried about whether the baby had left the school.
Luckily, it wasn’t too late. The baby was still at the school. That meant there was still a chance.
Hope surged within me. With that hope, I moved forward again. I limped towards the front gate, every step sending pain through my knees. A guard at the gate blocked my way.
“P-Please stop. This is the residence of the Imperial Executive Manager, Karl Krasius—”
“Tell him the Duke, Serbette, has come.”
One of the guards exchanged glances with the others before entering the mansion. Soon, he returned with a man.
I hoped it might be the baby, but of course, it wasn’t. She would definitely want nothing to do with me.
The man who came out was the butler in charge of the mansion. I asked him whether the baby was here and if I could see her.
“…My lord has said she wouldn’t be receiving guests.”
I sunk down at the butler’s hesitant words.
“But surely, if she knew the Duke had come, she would welcome you.”
“No, it’s alright…”
Seeing my state, the butler hurried back towards the mansion, but I instinctively grabbed him.
The baby had already dismissed guests. If the butler went back and told her I was here, she’d think I was ignoring her again.
No, I couldn’t afford to earn any more of the baby’s resentment.
“When will she be around?”
“Probably returning to the academy tomorrow morning.”
“Got it…”
Returning tomorrow morning meant the baby would leave the mansion then.
In that case, I would wait. I could wait here until the morning to see her.
I could wait as long as it took just to see the baby.
*
As soon as I closed my eyes, I opened them again. Please, let me sleep.
But the butler’s panicked expression and the urgent news of the Duke’s visit were enough to banish any hope of sleep.
‘Didn’t they say she wouldn’t be receiving guests?’
Thanks to Yuris’s advice, my anger had settled slightly, but now it flared back up as if I’d just received another hit. A sickening sensation hung over me.
Now was not the time to meet. I had left to clear my head, and in this unstable emotional state, what good would a meeting do?
That was why I had planned to refuse guests.
“Remember, butler: I said to turn guests away.”
“I’m sorry, my lord. But I felt it necessary for you to see him.”
I considered ignoring it, yet I still headed over. It was rare to see the butler looking so flustered. There had to have been a good reason.
As I walked towards the front door, I kept thinking about what to say when I saw the Duke.
Should I apologize for not showing my face? No, that sounds too sarcastic.
Should I scold them for showing up? No, that’s not right either. I didn’t want to fight anymore, but I wasn’t ready to forgive just yet.
Maybe I should tell them I didn’t have time for guests and send them away? That felt like the best plan.
–But then that thought ran away as soon as I saw her.
“Baby…”
All the simulations I had rehearsed evaporated. Every plan I had turned to worthless trash.
The Duke, the embodiment of elegance, stood before me with disheveled, dirt-crusted hair, her clothes torn and ragged.
And then, shockingly, she was barefoot. Had she lost her shoes?
‘What the hell!’
My surprise was palpable. I hated the Duke, resented her, but seeing her looking like this stirred a complex swirl of emotions within me.
I secretly hoped for her to regret her actions and apologize. At least I wanted to be in a calmer place before I fully met her and accepted her apology.
But this? No way. I wanted to see remorse, not degradation.
“…Your Grace.”
I didn’t want to see someone cowering at my words.
I sighed. Heck, even my sigh could be a weapon against her right now, but I couldn’t help it.
‘Damn it.’
It was winter, after all. The sun had already set. And here she was, wandering barefoot in that cold. The dirt was one thing, but various scratches and scrapes were apparent.
Was that a streak of blood showing beneath the torn cloth near her knee? It looked suspiciously like it to me.
“A-Ah, baby! You said you wouldn’t be receiving guests, so I thought I’d wait until you came out… until morning…”
When I exhaled and showed no reaction, the Duke fumbled for words.
Another sigh whistled past my lips. If she had just grabbed the butler by the collar and called me out, it wouldn’t feel so tragic. To wait until morning in this weather? On this cold ground?
I glanced down at the Duke slumped on the ground. How could she stay up all night in such a state?
‘Damn it.’
As my gaze fell, I caught sight of the object she was clutching. And once I did, I couldn’t remain still any longer.
“It’s cold out.”
In her hand was a white comb that starkly contrasted with her disheveled state.
The very same object I’d first gifted her, something I had thought of as practically worthless.
“You should come inside and talk.”
She was holding that “worthless” object so closely, and I couldn’t just ignore her condition. Even if there hadn’t been that comb, her appearance required immediate shelter.
“Well, fine. I understand.”
My voice sounded sharp even to me. But the Duke, with her tearful eyes locked onto mine, hastily got to her feet.
Unfortunately, her legs seemed weak, and she stumbled forward right away.
“D-Duke!”
“Are you alright!?”
The sight of her in tears shocked the guards, who rushed in to help, but she waved them off, struggling to stay upright.
What the hell? How did she end up like this? Just a few hours out of the magic tower, yet she looked like she’d seen hell.
“Your Grace, I’ll assist you.”
I moved closer to the Duke, who looked like she could barely support her own weight.
“D-Don’t worry. I’m fine… Don’t fuss over me─”
“Excuse me.”
Even a runaway criminal wouldn’t dismiss her appearance like this, yet here she was, insisting that people didn’t worry!
Ignoring her protest, I carefully picked her up. Her tear-filled eyes had turned towards my face, a thousand unspoken words hanging between us.
“Please just listen to your host. No more unnecessary remarks.”
That was my way of recognizing her as a guest.
At that, the Duke bit her lip and stifled a sob.
This is infuriatingly sincere.
The Duke led me not to the reception room but to my own quarters. It was properly prepared, and the warmth in the room offered the perfect refuge for the cold Duke.
Telling myself it looked like I was treating a corpse instead of a person, it felt awfully wrong.
“My lord, I’ve brought this.”
“Thank you for your efforts.”
Not long after, the butler returned, carrying a basin of warm water and wet towels.
“Yuris and Sophia should be here soon as well—”
“Not necessary. I’ll take care of it.”
“Understood. Please call me if you need anything.”
Once the butler exited the room, only the Duke and I were left. I glanced over at her sitting on the edge of the bed, wriggling uncomfortably.
She looked even worse under the light. A noble Duke appearing like a beaten soldier was a sight I never expected.
“How’s your body holding up?”
As I gently inquired, her eyes darted towards me as if suddenly snapping back to reality.
“Um, y-yeah, I’m fine.”
“Don’t kid me; just close your eyes for a bit.”
I didn’t ask if she was okay; I was just being nice and ignoring her attempts to act strong.
The Duke, alighted between confusion and concern, quietly forced her eyes shut. I cautiously wiped her face with a towel. While I couldn’t erase her tears, I could clean up the dirt.
I wiped her face, then moved on to her hair, arms, hands, knees, and legs. Anything that looked dirty got a thorough cleaning.
“A-Ah, baby, I can do this myself…”
“Be quiet.”
I cut her off before she could start yet another unnecessary rant. I’d already crossed the line today with my rudeness, so what harm could a little more rudeness do?
‘Blood.’
As I spotted the red stains on her knees, my mood soured even more.
Some wounds were apparent even through her clothing, and seeing them up close made it worse. The gash on her knee and the blood trailing down her leg told me she’d been through far too much.
Every time I gingerly touched a wound, she shuddered in pain, which suggested she had really taken a tumble.
“…Why exactly did you come?”
Thinking of how far she had run and how many times she must have fallen made it hard to keep calm.
“I already told you. I won’t show my face to you! You could’ve just ignored me if I’m so rude…”
As a noble, as someone whom rank often kept proud, I had pronounced my intention to cut ties with the Duke. It wouldn’t be surprising if she felt some humiliation.
Still, despite that, she chased after me. She wanted to see me, to say something.
And looking upon the pitiful Duke, I had a pretty good idea of what those words might be.
“How could you…?”
I heard her voice break from above me, laced with an undeniable choking sound.
“You hurt the baby, how could you just pretend it didn’t happen…?”
Now the sobs accompanied that arching voice. Outside, she might have held her tears back, but with only the two of us, she couldn’t hold back her emotions any longer.
“…I’m so sorry.”
At those words, the Duke’s hands, which had been busy cleaning my feet, paused for a moment.
“I acted like it was for the baby, as if she’d like it, and played judge… all on my own…”
With each word, it felt as if something heavy was crashing down on my mind.
It wasn’t just something heavy, but a weight of tears.
“I should have said it out loud, I should’ve asked her… I was so foolish to think for myself…”
Her voice rose again, forming a symphony of heart-wrenching apologies.
“I’m so sorry! I’m really, truly sorry…!”
Even amidst these desperate apologies, I didn’t raise my head.
The wounds on her feet were far too deep. If I didn’t wipe them carefully, it felt like they’d hurt even more.
‘Damn it.’
This is insane.
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