Chapter: 109
I was torn between being a dutiful and undutiful son because of my love-struck brother. But when I thought about it, I realized I was no saint either. In a way, I was outshining Erich in the undutiful son department.
Nobility comes with a huge responsibility to continue the family lineage, and naturally, this duty bears an even heavier weight for the head of the family and the heir. But here we are, with an heir past the ideal marriage age, and there isn’t even a whisper of an engagement. From a parent’s viewpoint, that’s just a colossal letdown, isn’t it?
‘What a matched set we are.’
The older brother is still single, and the younger one is making nearly impossible challenges. How did it happen that the only two kids in the family look like they walked off a sitcom set gone wrong? Honestly, I’m surprised the Patriarch has kept quiet this long.
Was Erich’s comment about wanting to find someone at the Academy a sneaky form of pressure? Like, ‘Shouldn’t the older brother find someone before the younger one does?’
It’s a tricky subject. If she were blatantly pressuring me, I could just dodge the topic, but when it’s insinuated like this, it’s a whole different ball game!
‘Guess I’ll have to go through with it somehow.’
Marriage is the last thing on my mind right now. Two years have passed since the incident, but to me, those years feel more like ‘not quite two years’ instead of ‘wow, it’s already been two years!’
Of course, I can’t live alone forever. Despite this strange situation I’ve been thrown into, I’ve lived comfortably as a noble. While enjoying the privileges, I must also fulfill the responsibilities. If I had been a commoner, I’d be worrying about survival instead of marriage.
But still, I don’t want to jump into anything half-heartedly. Could I sincerely commit to someone right now? That’s a big nope. I’d probably end up thinking about someone else while I’m with them. That’s precisely why I initially turned down the marriage proposal from Marghetta!
“If it’s meant to be, he’ll meet a good person eventually. After all, he has over two years left until he graduates.”
Finally, I managed to organize my chaotic thoughts and replied suitably. Since I was technically talking about Erich, it made sense to keep the conversation going in that direction.
And despite pondering this several times, it seems best not to mention that Erich has his eyes set on Louise. Saying that would only worry Mother and heap unnecessary stress on Erich.
There’s no need for me to go blabbing when he’s keeping it to himself. I mean, what kind of brother spills his younger sibling’s secrets to their mother? That would just be low.
“Maybe he’ll meet someone after graduation.”
I added, ready to console myself while considering the likelihood of Erich facing a spectacular loss in the battle for Louise.
Erich could very well find someone among the social scene after graduation. As for me, who’s already mingling in that circle, someday I might bring someone home too.
While it might not satisfy Mother, who called me in for marriage talks, this is about as much as I can offer right now. It’s better than making vague promises I can’t keep.
“So please don’t worry about it. He’ll manage somehow, right?”
To wrap things up, I ended with the age-old proverb of, “He’ll figure it out, just like he always does.” Looking at Erich these days, I have to question whether he really could manage alone, but Mother doesn’t need to know about any of Erich’s awkward moments. Ignorance is bliss.
And honestly, I wish she’d leave me alone while she’s at it! I mean, I’m probably more dependable than Erich at this point, am I not?
“Of course, he’ll manage! He always has!”
Mother nodded slightly in agreement and responded softly. Sure, Erich’s reliability might have taken a hit recently, but he was still the guy who trained hard before entering the academy.
“Yes, he’ll do just fine.”
Let’s trust the Erich from those days! Even if he’s a little love-struck and quirky now, deep down, he’s still a good kid.
*
The tea party wrapped up without a single solid outcome. Eusenia, who had been preparing her words for days, ended up failing to say anything that made much sense and sent Carl back empty-handed.
“I’ll escort the lady, so everyone else, tidy up and leave.”
I sent the maids away first, unable to let them witness Eusenia lost and staring at her teacup as if it held the secrets of the universe! She looked far from capable of giving orders right now.
Once the maids had gone, I turned to see Eusenia still lowered, like a sad puppy. What a fool! Did she really think she would be forgiven immediately? I mean, c’mon, how was she going to cope if this was how she reacted already?
But regardless of how foolish or stubborn she was, she was still my friend from childhood. If I couldn’t understand Eusenia, who would?
“Nia.”
At the sound of her nickname, she finally responded and lifted her head. Seeing her unfocused eyes practically broke my heart. She was usually the strong-willed type; why did she crumble when it came to the kids?
I discreetly pulled out a handkerchief and offered it to her. Eusenia accepted it quietly and stared blankly at the cloth as the tears began pooling in her eyes, spilling over like a busted dam.
“There’s no one else here.”
“Sob─”
Her heartfelt words of “there’s no one else” triggered her muffled crying. Despite us having seen each other at our worst, she actually tried holding back tears for the sake of her reputation as a countess? Really?
“L-Laura, Laura…”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Watching her fumble over my name while frantically dabbing her eyes with the handkerchief made my heart pang. The more I comforted her, the more tears fell. Hey, sometimes just letting it all out is the best way to begin healing!
Back in her twenties, Eusenia cried so little I half-wondered if she was human; now she seems to have made up for it in her thirties! I wonder if her forties will bring even more tears?
“So don’t worry about it. He can manage, right?”
I couldn’t help but understand her feelings. After hearing such words from Carl, how can she keep it together? No matter how strong one pretends to be, what mother wouldn’t feel the weight of those words from their own son?!
On the surface, it feels like an ordinary statement, some comforting words. But considering the relationship between Eusenia and Carl, those words hit harder than a horse kick!
Even from my vantage point, it sounded a lot like, “We’re doing fine without you, so why bother?” Just imagine how crushed Eusenia felt!
‘How disappointed she must be.’
Carl was such a gentle and quiet child. He diligently got his work done while considering others. That’s why he attracted less attention compared to his boisterous brother; in contrast to the ever-energetic Erich, Carl was just… quieter.
I always felt bad about that. Carl would say that it was okay, that he understood because he was the older brother, but come on, who could take that at face value? After all, despite being the older brother, Carl was still just a kid!
Regardless, Carl trained fiercely without a single protest. I mean, for a young boy, it’s shocking to see such determination without resorting to shortcuts. I remember asking him why he worked so hard.
“Maybe Dad and Mom will praise me if I work hard?”
That innocent little boy, who hadn’t even mastered saying ‘father’ and ‘mother’ yet, was already thirsty for affection. And yet, he never let that need boil over into resentment.
He only believed they’d notice and love him one day if he just kept putting in the effort. That was the kind of kid Carl was. And now, that very same Carl had bluntly told her he didn’t need her attention anymore!
Did time change Carl? Or was it simply that being in a life-and-death situation made him lose hope in a mother who only started caring when he was at his worst? Was it the war, or the darkness of the capital that reshaped him?
“I heard Marquis Asilon committed suicide after being ridiculed by the Executive Manager.”
“Did you hear? Four noble houses collapsed overnight.”
“Well, all talks of age have vanished! Anyone who resisted them is now dead, so who would dare speak?”
The longer Carl stayed away from our territory and lingered in the capital, the more sinister rumors seemed to swirl around him. These rumors were definitely out there – they weren’t fabricated – they were totally accurate!
But I believed that what Carl was doing was from necessity, not because he had genuinely become cold and cruel. Thankfully, my faith was well placed.
I managed to make contact with servants at Carl’s personal residence under the guise of fortune. They recognized me as Carl’s nanny, so they were not suspicious at all. There were nothing but positive remarks! They described him as a considerate master who made sure his servants were well taken care of and regarded the common people’s needs.
That’s when I knew. Even if he acquired an infamous reputation for being the Executive Manager, deep down, he was still that warm-hearted child I had known. That fragile and tender heart was still beating inside simply waiting to be acknowledged.
‘Yes, that’s the kind of child he is.’
Carl was right to express disappointment in Eusenia, yet hope still lingers for them. If Eusenia sincerely apologizes and seeks his forgiveness, I genuinely believe he will turn back to her someday. He’s that kind of child.
So, I shouldn’t waver. If I lose my footing now, Carl and Erich might forever live without knowing their mother’s love, especially given Eusenia’s troubled state.
“Nia, don’t cry. There are still plenty of opportunities ahead.”
First things first, let’s calm this crybaby down!
*
As I walked down the corridor, I caught a glimpse of Erich’s back.
‘That little punk…’
I didn’t care before, but now that I noticed him, I felt inexplicably irritated. He was the one slacking off at the Academy while I was the one cleaning up the mess! And here I am, just coming back from a chat with Mother that was a total juggling act, all because of him!
If Erich had been reaching out to Mother regularly, we wouldn’t be in this predicament. Would she have been pouring her hopes for a suitable partner for him if she knew him well enough to have an actual conversation?!
“Erich!”
The more I pondered, the more it clicked. This entire debacle was due to Erich’s neglect in communicating with the family! I called him over to give him some brotherly advice, and he approached with a little jump, clearly startled.
“Did you greet Mother properly?”
“I did, earlier at the front entrance of the mansion.”
“Not that one!”
The audacity of him to use that as an excuse!
“Make sure to keep in touch and chat with her more often. Mother seems concerned about you!”
Before I knew it, I started lecturing Erich without any plans to do so. Although I may not feel much affection towards Mother, Erich is her biological child. It’s essential they maintain a good connection to avoid future regrets.
“Well, but brother, you don’t contact Mother either—”
“That’s only because I’m busy! It’s not like we’re on the same page since you’re just at the Academy.”
At the end of the day, this isn’t at all my fault. This undutiful brat! If I don’t enlighten him as his older brother, then who’s going to do it?
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