Chapter: 629 – The Oldest Wish (10)
—
– Cha Jinchul
Sometimes I think about it.
For someone, their twenties are the golden years of life.
For me, my twenties were a painful time filled with defeat and inferiority.
Do you know the pain of a person who’s just a bit “short” on talent?
If I had been given nothing, I might have just given up cleanly.
Over 180cm tall, a proud build and strong muscles, and exceptional strength too!
Even I marvel at this body.
When I first jumped into fighting, everyone said:
“I bet! Whatever sport you do, you’ll succeed!”
“Dude! Can you sign an autograph for me? I just know your signature will be worth a fortune one day!”
I remember all the compliments, the expectations and the envious glances.
I remember the process of them turning into pity, sympathy, and a hint of scorn.
…
I’m not trying to confess my past inferiority out of nowhere.
As with many concerns, looking back now, it seems trivial.
In this world, how many athletes have things not go their way?
It’s just that, that mindset I held back then is still a big part of what makes “Cha Jinchul” today.
I want to move forward.
I want to become a greater being than I am now.
It’s not about wanting to be stronger than Kain in a childish way.
The point of comparison is always my past self.
I hope today’s me is better than yesterday’s me.
I hope tomorrow’s me is better than today’s me.
*
An enormous presence of “contradiction” like a raging typhoon!
“A collective of selves that constantly flicker between emergence and disappearance.”
“Feeling desires that cannot coexist at the same time, unable to truly discuss what one genuinely wants.”
This… is this what Kain thought of when he contemplated contradiction?
“A divided mind.”
“Small minds that endlessly alternate between creation and extinction.”
“Impulses that radiate in all directions.”
“Contrasting goals.”
“Splintered desires.”
“Wanting to drink while spitting it out.”
“Wanting to walk forward while intending to step back.”
“Wanting to sleep while wanting to be awake, wishing to grasp both life and death together.”
Ugh!
I always thought Kain was smart, but this is…!
Feeling substantial dissonance as consciousness was shared.
Earlier, I thought about the absurd reflections on the logic of the crown.
Kain isn’t just clever!
He’s transcending the five senses, processing information I can’t even comprehend.
Strange conclusions reached after constantly interpreting unknown information.
An explosively emitting mind!
The output of self is strong.
Is this a result of long exposure to the blessing of Wisdom?
Thanks to that, Kain’s “voice” resonated prominently in this space.
On the other hand, “my voice” sounded incredibly small.
At the moment of acute mental fatigue, a grand voice resonated.
“What do I wish for?”
What does contradiction desire?
The first thought that came to mind was curiosity.
Not because I didn’t understand the question, but it felt like such an easy inquiry.
So, it’s problematic to have the desire to move forward and the desire to go back simultaneously?
Then, can’t I just change one of those thoughts?
‘What the heck!’
‘What the freak is going on with this god nonsense?’
Hearing the frustrated reactions from both Wisdoms, I belatedly realized.
The contradiction’s question isn’t simple, but I made it seem easy!
Am I the smartest one in this place?
No!
My thoughts on the “Fragments of the Otherworld” connected with the contemplation of contradiction.
‘We don’t have much time; we need to escape this insane god and get to the sanctuary!’
Feeling Kain’s anxious thoughts, I concluded.
Now is the time for me to do something!
Trust yourself and don’t doubt.
In this realm, confidence is directly linked to the volume of one’s voice.
Soon, a voice that resonated big enough to draw the attention of greatness rang out.
“Does this answer have to come from the researcher?”
“Anyone is fine. That’s why I invited you all here,” it replied.
“Well then, let me give an easy answer.
Contradiction! What is your problem?
The confusion caused by countless incompatible impulses and an endlessly fractured mind.
You desire to overcome this confusion.
The answer is simple.
Abandon or destroy one of those contradictory longings!”
“…”
Silence from the contradiction.
Yet, an intense “disappointment” dominated the space.
The contradiction seems to think I haven’t grasped the essence of the problem.
But…
Sometimes seeing is better than hearing a thousand tales!
Right after – something like mist writhing appeared above my hands.
The contradiction, having also observed the wonderfully glowing “dream,” showed interest.
With that dream in hand, I earnestly wished.
I prayed fervently to the one seated in the highest seat of the hotel.
Let me be permitted the ultimate, even just once.
Show me a glimmer of greatness that even contradiction can acknowledge.
The tenth dream shone brightly.
The brush of a being who shed tears for the three thousand worlds painted over me.
Suddenly – feeling an intense conviction rise, I summoned the “Fragment of the Otherworld.”
— Crack!
“Argh! Jinchul-hyung!”
The fragment smashed through the skull and lodged deep in my brain!
*
What was I really thinking about the Fragment of the Otherworld?
A legacy that can’t be properly utilized if trapped in human form.
I recalled the original user who twisted the world into a monstrous, ugly abomination.
Ah…
I mistook one critical point.
To use the fragment correctly doesn’t require transcending the body.
Becoming a grotesque monster is a result, not a cause.
The true path towards the ultimate is a transcendence of spirit and the distant manifestation of self.
In my mind, I see a massive whirlpool.
I see “Cha Jinchul” transforming into a surging whirlpool.
Using the power of the fragment while enduring it with a robust mind?
Not at all.
It’s not about enduring; it’s about riding the waves of chaos the fragment conjures!
…
I saw an interesting video online.
They placed a camera near vine plants in the Amazon jungle and sped up footage over several months.
What image comes to mind when people think of plants?
They tend to picture static beings standing still on the ground, soaking up sunlight and water.
A pastoral and peaceful scene, static life.
The sped-up footage was completely different.
Stretching wide leaves to block sunlight from nearby young plants was just the basics.
Writhing roots entangled other plants, and spewing out odd toxins to annihilate nearby insect habitats was not uncommon.
The plants in that video were like green tentacled monsters crawling everywhere, never resting.
All of this “struggle” occurs at such a slow pace that humans do not usually notice it.
Thus, speed alters the perception of the world entirely.
To humans, plants are exceedingly slow.
Conversely, there’s a viewpoint that sees people as slow and static like plants.
…
A blazing mind.
An unceasingly twisting whirlpool of chaos.
This isn’t simply a fast computational concept.
The volatility of thought and desire, the clash of wants and cooling – all changes were maddeningly chaotic and violent.
Another mind that perceives humans as slow and monotonous like plants.
Almost as if it were the cognition of an alien being.
It’s not about appearance; it’s about the very structure of thought being worlds apart from humans!
…
A constantly radiating and chaotic mind, trying to assume as many forms as possible.
With the reins of a beast in hand, those reins bear the name “Instant!”
A sensation controlling impulsive bursts at tremendous speeds with similarly accelerated logic!
Unable to contain a chuckle.
I couldn’t figure out the true method of utilizing the Fragment alone, so I borrowed the power of “dreams.”
And now, the unfathomable beast awakened within me…
Is it that the reins to control the beast had been within my hand all along?
What does this mean? The patron has been aware that the fragment could be used in this manner from the very beginning!
Haha!
This place truly is the ultimate realm guided by dreams!
Right at that moment.
“I see you can now answer my question.”
I sensed the satisfaction in contradiction.
To contradiction, I am now a being capable of unraveling the great one’s questions.
“Let me ask again. What do I wish for?”
Now I genuinely know the answer to the problem.
Soon, waves of transformation emitted from the fragment engulfed the area!
…
…
…
At the end of the ultimate.
The spirit that was clumsily approaching the great realm returns once more to the realm of humanity.
In the fading consciousness, I lamented again and again.
Can I reach this realm again by my own power?
One thing I certainly know.
Before knowing the great realm, I may have been oblivious, but once experienced…
I will endlessly long for the return to this realm until my dying day.
Hence, today’s experience is both an incredible blessing and a curse.
*
“User: Han Kain (Wisdom)
Date: Day 234
Current Location: Searching…
Sage’s Advice: 0”
—
– Han Kain
— Clunk!
“Gasp! Haa…!”
“Let’s take a break for a moment!”
It’s already the second rest.
The Holy Mother has been severely weakened through the process of creating the elevator, getting destroyed, and having to restore herself.
Also, it seems the exposure to Jinchul-hyung’s fragment from the deepest of the ocean took quite a toll as well.
For the almost immortal Holy Mother, even moderate damage shouldn’t matter…
But just earlier, the power Jinchul-hyung manifested was something entirely different from what I usually felt from fragments.
It was like confronting the chaos of the primordial!
“… Miro.”
Supporting the panting Holy Mother, I gestured to Miro.
Miro cautiously spread her hands to show ‘7’, indicating the Holy Mother has 7 minutes left.
Fortunately, we’re nearing the sanctuary.
A moment of fleeting silence.
As the surroundings quieted down, I naturally recalled the shocking event we just experienced.
So, Jinchul-hyung said…
“About what happened earlier.”
The voice of my predecessor.
“The contradiction’s issue is precisely the murky spirit that cannot coexist within itself.”
“Right.”
“Your companion – Cha Jinchul suggested pushing away some of those contradictory thoughts.”
“That would have been wrong.”
“Indeed. The contradiction also seemed to think that.”
I believe Jinchul-hyung’s initial answer was incorrect.
“The murky spirit repeatedly arises and dissipates; the countering method of pushing some away could never end.”
“It would just give rise to another contradictory spirit again.”
But what about the answer I discovered after embedding the fragment in my brain?
“What on earth did your companion do?”
“… I don’t know.”
I truly have no idea.
It’s just that, something very different from the usual wavelength was emanating from that fragment.
“Something was done. Something happened, and then the contradiction suddenly…”
“…”
“It became incapable of communicating at all.”
“Right.”
“Previously, it was at least possible to communicate minimally, but now that’s become impossible.”
Something utterly impossible to communicate at all.
If I had to express it, it would be a swirling, ever-changing vortex itself.
…
…
My predecessor and I felt unspeakable oddity from that vortex.
“Is that the answer? Why is that the answer?”
“I don’t know. It’s just….”
“…”
“Let’s put questions aside for now and go meet the prince.”
“… Yeah, we should do that.”
Right before the elevator was about to depart again.
Miro asked with a concerned voice.
“G-Gain….”
“…”
“Is Jinchul dead?”
“I don’t know.”
Is he dead?
Or is he still alive?
Or in some strange state that can’t be described?
I have no idea.
I can’t even know his whereabouts.
— Clunk!
“Arrived.”
Prince, Crown – the last secret hidden in the supreme realm.
We’ve reached the sanctuary.
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