### Chapter 293 – Room 204, Mission Room – ‘Hotel Cinema’ (16) – Part 2 Fin
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[User: Han Kain (Wisdom)
Date: Day 133
Current Location: Floor 2, Room 204 – Mission Room, ‘Hotel Cinema’
Sage’s Advice: 3]
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– Han Kain
“What, what the heck is this?”
The panicked voice of Elena echoed. No one had an answer. Everyone was thinking the same thing!
“What the hell is going on, hotel idiot?”
Ahri didn’t hold back her curses, but no one stopped her. Because everyone was equally baffled.
Seriously, what is this? Weren’t we just enjoying a perfectly good action movie?
Sure, the sudden switch to an attack on the capital in the second half was unexpected, but it made sense for a war hero to clash with the emperor. But now, suddenly, the emperor’s corpse is moving? Is this a hair loss product ad?
“What on earth did I just watch? Does anyone understand this?”
I’ve never seen a movie this absurd in my life!
Amidst all this chaos, the only one holding it together was Eunsol, who spoke up.
“Guys, remember the alert we saw earlier?”
“Alert, you say?”
“Didn’t you see it? ‘You have obtained the Fur of the Warrior Who Withstood Thunder!’ That alert popped up in the movie’s second half.”
I didn’t see it. Honestly, with the movie spiraling out of control at the end, I didn’t have the mental capacity to notice some flickering notification in the corner.
“If it’s the Fur of the Warrior Who Withstood Thunder, that means it’s for the Wing Boots.”
“Right. Which makes me wonder, is it because of that ‘transformation’ in the middle of the movie?”
Upon hearing that, a thought crossed my mind.
“Wait, does that mean Jinchul hyung became the warrior who withstood thunder while fighting Kurta, so his hair is the reward?”
“Looks that way. But during the fight, he transformed into some weird Kamen Rider and lost his hair, so they shoved in a hair loss product ad to magically sprout hair.”
Eunsol’s suggestion left Grandpa dumbfounded.
“Wasn’t the transformation part of the movie’s story? No, if hair is the reward, why is there a transformation that removes hair in the movie?”
She had a point. How does one turn into something that negates the reward?
Just then, the distinct jingle of “da-da-da-da” sounded as the judges began to appear.
The judges seemed to have a different vibe than yesterday. The souvenirs girl had her head bowed low, and the merchant was staring blankly at the ceiling.
The atmosphere became eerily quiet. Even the usually chatty merchant was silent as the souvenirs girl carefully raised a sign.
“I’ll… give it a pass.”
“What?”
That sound came surprisingly from us. I’ve never seen such a ridiculous ending in my life, and she’s saying it’s a pass?
“I think it was a good story except for the ending! Particularly, the action scenes were impressive! Capturing Kurta? I want to praise that! Honestly, it wasn’t a standard development, but the execution was remarkable. The subsequent coup was also fine. I liked how the war hero decided to overthrow the emperor.”
Ahri interjected, “What did you mean by standard development? I thought it was a failure as soon as Kurta appeared. No matter how I think about it, defeating such a monster with sheer willpower is a bit much, isn’t it?”
The souvenirs girl didn’t respond. If the judges’ evaluation was a fail, the next person would have to step in. She couldn’t give away the answer.
Seeing the souvenirs girl, who I thought would be the toughest judge, easily pass, my mind eased. The merchant, well, he loves bizarre stories anyway—
“I’m giving it a fail.”
“AAAH!”
“What’s this, you jerk!? Don’t you like absurd endings? I’ve seen some real garbage endings for decades!”
Wait, what’s going on with this guy? I quickly raised my hand.
“Why is it a fail? Isn’t it that you value bizarre or unique plots?”
Suddenly, the merchant spun around and transformed into a stiff professor-like character. For a moment I was incredulous; he had even changed his tone.
“HaHa… Han Kain participant. I don’t know what you think of me, but what I like isn’t just any old scribble for a plot.”
“Can you give an example of what works or doesn’t?”
“An example of what doesn’t work? One that pops into my mind is when a protagonist successfully devours a wealthy family, then suddenly dies from being hit by a truck at the end, revealing that it was all a dream. Would I pass that? That’s just a scribble ending.”
Elena, who had been quiet, suddenly erupted with irritation, “But you passed when I smashed the crown prince with a scale!”
“If Cha Jinchul had ripped apart the Grand General or any other general, I’d give a pass!”
“Why the sudden swing towards killing allies? You can get a pass for killing allies but not for a hair loss ad?”
“Can’t you see the difference? The former is fresh, while the latter is absurd.”
“What’s the difference!”
Suddenly, the merchant stood up, slamming the table.
“In my eyes, it’s different! A kingdom set by my standards!”
What is this guy babbling about now?
“I asked for the standard, and now you’re making it about your viewpoint?”
“Now I stand in the heavens! The world’s standards are mine! If I don’t see it that way, it’s wrong!”
At this point, Ahri threw a chair.
“Hey! Honestly, isn’t this conclusion on us? Didn’t you screw it up?”
“Me? No way! I’m going to rate based on the entirety of the conclusion! If you don’t like it, you can be the judge! Goodbye, everyone! I’m giving it a fail and I’m out!”
With those words, the merchant truly vanished. A silence fell over the room as we were left speechless.
“What, what, what did that guy just say?”
“…”
In the dazed atmosphere, the mysterious craftsman quietly held up a sign.
“F*.”
Hearing Ahri say that, Eunsol let out a sigh.
“Ugh… Jinchul worked so hard only to get a fail? This is just—”
I raised my hand. If I didn’t voice my protest, it was a certain fail anyway. As I calmed myself down, I wondered, what were that guy’s standards?
We had questioned the standards of the merchant since Day 1 and even wrote down some advice.
“Think about what Lego is.”
What is Lego, anyway?
Outside the hotel, the mysterious craftsman we found in the snow globe turned out to be a toy, not a living creature. Even after activation, it was still not alive. It was more like an uncommunicative robot.
“Lego is…”
“Kain?”
Suddenly, Ahri was by my side, tilting her head.
“Lego doesn’t have intelligence.”
“What?”
“It’s just a toy. They have no intelligence. The mysterious craftsman can’t communicate! How can a soulless robot give a judgment?”
I was hit by an absurd thought. Based on my experience, these absurd thoughts in the hotel often turn out to be correct. I raised my hand to stop the judgment process and walked over to Lego.
Coincidentally, the merchant, who had been rambling, disappeared. The souvenirs girl, perhaps deep in thought, had her head bowed, ignoring us.
As I approached where Lego was holding up an X sign, I noticed a translucent thread.
“… What on earth is this?”
Once I noticed the thread, the next part came quickly. No need to bother holding onto the thread; Eunsol’s eyes quickly followed its path…
All eyes landed on the third NPC present and the “real judge,” the Guide.
“…”
“…”
“Ta-da!”
“You…!”
Before Grandpa could scold me, he hung his head in exhaustion. I completely understood. What good would it do to get mad at something that makes those silly sound effects?
Even the wise man once said that those who defecate outside the road have at least a sense of conscience and can be taught. But those who defecate right in the middle of the road can’t be reprimanded or taught.
Ahri, with an endlessly exhausted expression, asked, “Alright. Mr. Disguised Third Judge, what’s your standard for consistently giving fails?”
“Simple. I like happy endings.”
“Happy ending?”
“Of course, I don’t expect impossible conclusions. In a war film, there’s no way no one dies. I understand that! But I’d like to see the main characters receive a happy ending. For instance, it was a bit unfortunate that Cha Jinchul made the emperor commit suicide. Did he really have to pull a ‘Wihwa-do Retreat’?”
“Wait, what’s a guy supposed to do when the emperor is trying to kill him?”
“There’s always the option to prevent the assassination and retreat. Or, through an honest conversation, steer them towards redemption, or even capture them in a way they can’t commit suicide.”
The third judge, the Guide, presented a surprisingly clear standard. He wanted all the main characters to achieve a happy ending. Even for villains, he preferred to convert rather than eliminate.
Asking how to achieve that without being unreasonable and providing alternative plots made it difficult to counter. Sure, a redemptive conversation sounded silly, but if Jinchul hyung set his mind to it, that kind of story could have worked.
But arguing why he preferred such frustrating plots would be futile. He would probably just say it’s a matter of taste, and how can you argue with taste?
As I hesitated, Ahri spoke up.
“So you’re saying you’re disappointed the emperor died?”
“Put simply, yes.”
“But the emperor didn’t die!”
“What?”
“Didn’t you see the scene where the emperor is alive and moving at the end?”
What is this girl talking about now?
“Haha! Participant Kim Ahri, are you trying to twist logic again? That wasn’t part of the movie; it was an ad—”
“An ad? Why would there be an ad during the movie?”
“In Vietnam or India—”
“Is this Vietnam or India? We’re speaking Korean right now! Didn’t the Guide clearly say at the start, ‘Hotel Pioneer prides itself on being the best in all aspects’?”
“W-Well, he did say that—”
“Then the standards should match the best in the world! The world’s top movie markets are the U.S., China, Japan, Korea, and the UK! Can you name any of those countries that have characters moving in an ad after they die?”
As the Guide stood there flustered, Ahri grew bolder.
“Don’t tell me you’re about to pull the 7th place Indian story? I refuse to believe a hotel that prides itself on being the best would drag in the 7th place market as a standard.”
“… What are you trying to say? In movie-leading nations, there’s no ads during films?”
“Exactly. The last scene isn’t an ad; it’s part of the movie, and the emperor really came back. The revived emperor is plotting something…”
“Plotting something?”
“Maybe it was a teaser for Part 2?”
Ahri, I’m feeling dizzy.
“Part 2, does that even make sense? He clearly shouted out the price of 39,800 won while standing with the emperor!”
“Maybe the emperor’s brain melted while resurrecting! Jinchul was manipulated! And you expect me to see any sense in this? Sticking in a hair loss ad in the movie’s finale, does that make sense?”
“…”
“Am I wrong? There were no ads, and the emperor did revive! He’s planning the future and hinted at Part 2!”
At this point, Eunsol, clearly exasperated, shook the Guide’s body.
“Hey! Be honest! That bizarre last scene, you guys inserted it, right? Wasn’t it a mistake? We should be in a situation to get the Wing Boots materials, but since Jinchul transformed, you improvised, didn’t you?”
“…”
“All that weirdness led the merchant to conclude it was a garbage ending and run away! The judge messes up the ending, and now we’re out? Is this even reasonable??”
The hotel may have always been a place of nonsense, but still, this is just absurd.
In the end, the Guide relented.
“Ugh… I’m exhausted. I feel like I’m aging.”
The grandpa reacted incredulously.
“Hey, it was you all that made me age. I’m now mentally in my 70s.”
“Seventy? That’s still quite young.”
“…”
“Alright, I’ll admit that this time ‘we’ are also at fault—”
In the distance, the souvenirs girl hollered.
“B! This isn’t ‘our’ fault; it’s ‘your’ fault!”
So, the Guide was the culprit?
“… I’ll take responsibility this time. I’ll pass it. But remember, especially you Ahri. You’ve been spewing nonsense since yesterday; this kind of tomfoolery ends here—”
“Please, I’m begging you. Don’t do anything weird.”
“I want you to understand that this kind of nonsense is over. Next time, if you come back, I assure you that a ‘horror movie’ will be a whole different level.”
With that ominous warning from the somewhat irate Guide, the second movie came to a close.
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