Chapter: 646
After my first attempt ended in a disastrous failure due to the Pope’s mental assault, I quickly devised a plan for a second escape.
Knowing they were on high alert, I drew everyone’s attention and unleashed a flash before dashing out of the mansion.
Having gauged their approximate speed from my previous attempt, I intentionally twisted my route to throw them off.
Up to this point, everything was going great, but the second suspected exit turned out to be an unexpected location.
Who would have thought it was the men’s restroom? Moreover, I hadn’t anticipated that someone would be using it.
“What… What are you looking at?!”
“A little one♡ How cute?♡”
I cut off what an agitated knight was trying to say by slamming the door shut and was hurriedly caught by the knights rushing in.
“Your Excellency, the Apostle of the God. We are in a bit of a predicament here.”
“Is that what it’s for?♡ Did you think I’d show you trash any mercy?♡”
“…We…”
“You know the pathetic god who talks about grace and tolerance wouldn’t like you, right?♡ You’re the one who came here looking for trouble yet act shocked!♡”
The knights had no counterarguments to my words. They had no faith; they were just delusional weirdos who resonated with the Pope because of their misguided beliefs.
“If you aren’t prepared for this, why not try whining like a brat?♡ If you cry, I might show you some sympathy!♡ The pathetic god is such a pushover!♡”
“No. We are prepared.”
“Looks like we were mistaken.”
“Yes. Comfort is a luxury for us.”
The knights, transformed into masochistic fools who loved trials as much as their heads, willingly accepted my declaration of war.
Just as I had planned.
Logically speaking, everything I said was pure nonsense.
How could these guys resent someone who embraced the Apostle of Agra?
Even if they did resent me, so what?
I’d already expected this outcome when I decided to act.
The Apostle of the God should have just been tied up and left alone for their own objectives.
But the holy knights couldn’t do that.
They thought they accepted their role as evil, yet they couldn’t bear to accept that their great god defined them as such.
It was a half-hearted insanity.
Thanks to that, I could keep attempting my escape under the knights’ tacit approval.
For my third escape, I used the excuse of needing a bath to shake off the knights, dashing out with only minimal clothing.
Their vigilance, which I genuinely prepared for, turned out to be thicker than I expected, and I was caught even before making it to the exit.
For my fourth escape, I plotted to rampage and decimate everything in sight.
If they were as inept as I assumed, I could roam the mansion without worrying about them.
To cut to the chase, this plan flopped.
While I could manage to deal with individuals, facing a group became an insurmountable challenge.
Even with the penalty on my side, I couldn’t find an opportunity to strike.
At least I managed to hold my ground because of the third-person view and being able to see all attacks clearly.
Without the fairies’ help, I would’ve been toast ages ago!
I held on somehow and took down a couple of them, but anything beyond that was impossible.
So, I resigned and surrendered.
Then came my fifth attempt, using the Mesugaki skill.
Basically, I aimed to drive the knights nuts and then make my escape.
After all, from their perspective, I was a valuable guest they shouldn’t provoke. If I ticked one off to explode, the others would be forced to intervene.
It wasn’t an especially difficult plan. After spending days with them, I’d already noted their weaknesses.
“Hey, pure boys♡ Aren’t you curious about who this ugly girl likes?♡”
As all guys know, once a man realizes certain desires, he often ends up thinking with something other than his brain.
This holds true even for priests devoted to the God.
The urge for reproduction is inherent in all living beings, and just because they’re priests doesn’t make them immune to its allure. They might suppress it with divine mental strength, but completely ignoring it is impossible.
Especially with a rather decent-looking woman nearby.
“Your Excellency the Apostle of God, I am devoted to the Almighty. It’s been ages since I’ve forgotten about love.”
“Then why are you making strange noises every night?♡”
“I-I would never do such a thing!”
“You’re embarrassed, aren’t you? Turns out you’re a naughty girl?♡”
“I-I… I am absolutely NOT! I swear to the God I have never engaged in lewd acts!”
“What’s considered lewd?♡ The way you’re panicking, you seem to know something—why not tell me?♡ I don’t really understand these things yet♡”
The knight’s eyes trembled as he broke out in a cold sweat, desperately turning his gaze to his comrades for help, but they were instead weighing my actions.
This is why pure boys can’t handle raunchy stories.
As I chuckled mockingly, one of the knights standing outside walked in and let out a sigh.
“What’s all this? Do you think we can indulge in such desires?”
“Not ugly uncles, so back off!♡”
“What… What are you saying?”
“It’s good that you became a holy knight♡ Even if you just lived your life, you’d never get any! Now you have an excuse!♡ I’ll give you a pass if you pray to the pathetic god every day! You should be grateful for that!♡ You’re one to talk after looking like that!♡”
“Such provocations…”
“Oof♡ Could you please keep your mouth shut?♡ The sight of you talking makes me want to vomit!♡”
As the knight simply stared at me in silence, he clipped his hands to his waist and immediately drew his sword, charging at me.
“Get off! No way!”
“Calm down, please!”
“Why are you acting like this when you’ve always been composed!”
In the ensuing chaos, I casually slipped out of the room, only to be caught by other holy knights.
It seemed the knights accompanying me had quite the mess on their hands dealing with the one I had provoked.
The other knights weren’t looking so great either. They probably understood that my taunts posed a serious threat.
For them, who couldn’t attack me, my provocative actions risked unleashing their sanity.
The best course of action would be to shut me up, but would those cowards even dare to do that?
How could they blasphemously silence the mouth of the Apostle of the God?
Unless it were Lasha, but even she was captivated by my antics at this point.
If I were to escape, she probably wouldn’t go out of her way to stop me.
She’d seen my abilities far too many times to be bored with the thought.
Perhaps next time, we’d be on the same page in battle.
[Was your leisurely wandering around from midpoint onward part of the plan? You thought there was no way they wouldn’t let you go.]
‘That’s one reason. I was just trying to find where the exit was.’
I checked all the suspicious places.
I tried everything I could with the knowledge I had.
Still, I ultimately failed to uncover the exit.
I had some remaining options, but they wouldn’t hold any significance.
It seemed this space was beyond my knowledge.
‘Well, I expected this outcome to some extent.’
[…Then what was all this fuss for?]
‘It was of course for escape planning. It’s all preparation for the future.’
I had done everything I could do here.
There was no more reason for me to stay. So I would be leaving now.
How could I plan to leave when I didn’t even know where the exit was?
You don’t need to worry about that.
The owner of this place would surely see to my departure.
Specifically, the creepy old geezer who just walked in.
“Apostle, you’ve certainly been quite busy.”
“Had a front-row seat to the old man’s disgusting desires♡ Quite pathetic~♡ Still being controlled down there at your age♡”
“Can’t say you’re wrong. I’m moving based on my heart, not my mind.”
The Pope nonchalantly brushed aside the dirty talk and took a seat across from me after dismissing the knights outside.
“Why do you keep trying to escape this place? Have we caused you any discomfort?”
“Just your existence is a nuisance!♡ Simply being near you shortens my lifespan!♡”
“That’s troubling. If our mere existence is a problem, there’s no way to resolve it.”
“You dolt?♡ There’s an easy way!♡ Either you get lost, or I do!♡”
“I merely wished for you to bear witness to my actions.”
At that moment, I couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the Pope’s solemn tone.
It’s not like some desperate kid asking their parents for something; it’s downright absurd that this old man is pleading earnestly with a young girl.
“Have you lost your mind hanging out with idiots?♡ Why not think with your brain?♡”
“Could you elaborate?”
“Bottom line, I’m coming for you!♡ You fool!♡ Watching you squirm like rubbish is bound to be entertaining, so why would I let that slip away?♡”
I was going to confront the Pope’s plans head-on. I had to stop whatever he was plotting.
The Pope, still staring at me with that blank expression, gradually started to smirk.
“Well then. You wouldn’t dream of ignoring me.”
“If you want to keep me tied up from fear, so be it!♡ If you want to imprison me, go ahead!♡ Though it’ll probably amount to nothing!♡ Right?♡ You can’t touch me, pathetic loser!♡”
As I laughed and scratched at his insides, the Pope suddenly burst into laughter.
His booming laughter vibrated throughout the room, spilling out into the hallway, filled with pure joy.
He was thrilled at the thought I wanted to hinder him.
Ha. Nasty. Who knew I’d attract perverts, even among allies and enemies.
I can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with me.
“I am your trial, and you are mine. Very well. I will let you go.”
Finally managing to tone down his chuckles, the Pope staggered to his feet and knelt before me.
“I look forward to the day I meet you again, O noble and esteemed Apostle of the God.”
– Ding!
[Quest cleared!]
[Reward granted!]
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