Chapter 65

Chapter 65

Swords were entwined in dozens of exchanges in midair before falling apart. Iris stepped back, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood.
‘No way she’s my match.’
The level gap was painfully obvious. But I couldn’t give up now.
“Hraaaaah!”
Iris let out a battle cry, swinging her sword with all her might. The wildly swung blade sliced through empty air as the man’s figure vanished like a mirage.
“Cough…!”
As something struck her from behind, Iris found herself tumbling to the ground.
“Guh…”
Before she knew it, the man had mounted her, pinning her down with his knee. Iris gritted her teeth, struggling to rise.
*
“…Can’t we just end it here?”
I sighed softly as I looked down at Iris writhing on the ground. At the same moment, a voice came from a spherical camera hovering around me.
[The match only ends when one party dies!]
[If you plan to end it, pierce the heart or slice the throat!]
The overly excited voice was familiar—it was the announcer’s.
[If you don’t take the opponent’s life, a powerful magical beast will be released every 5 minutes!]
[We recommend finishing the match quickly!]
With the voice continually urging me to kill Iris, I was getting annoyed but before I could decide, the voice of the Demon Sword echoed in my head.
[Tsk tsk, so that’s their goal.]
“Huh?”
[They want you to kill your own sister while you’re distracted by the Rediaholsun. That’s what they desire.]
‘How do you know that?’
[The thoughts of such perverts are pretty obvious.]
Listening to the Demon Sword’s smug tone, I was suddenly reminded of its bloodstained history.
‘A pervert recognizes another pervert, huh?’
Shutting down that line of thought kept the Demon Sword from going on a rampage.
[What will you do, partner? Are you going to kill her?]
‘No, I’m not gonna kill her.’
[Hmmm… Seems like they’re not going to end the match until one kills the other. How about we smash the arena and escape? Outside, there’ll be stronger enemies… haha.]
‘That’s tough. You see this collar around my neck? If I go out too far, it blows up.’
[But you can recover from that.]
‘Iris can’t.’
[Grrrr… Didn’t think of that one.]
Just then, as we conversed calmly…
Whoosh!
Iris, who was on the floor, suddenly wielded her sword in reverse and swung it. My body instinctively jerked back as Iris jumped to her feet.
[What’s the deal with that one? How can divine power flow through a human body? It’s beyond me. My power dissipates just getting near her.]
‘Not surprising…’
Iris is the last hope for humanity, the last hero, the sole descendant of the heroes.
‘So, can we subdue her?’
[Well, we can… but…]
Clang, whoosh.
While I was chatting with the Demon Sword, five minutes had passed, and one of the arena’s gates swung open.
Grrrr.
The low growl of a beast echoed, but the thick toxic mist made it impossible to tell where it was coming from. I could only sense it by sound.
Iris, startled by the sudden strange noise, turned her head toward it.
[This is becoming annoying.]
‘What do you see?’
[Based on the aura… it’s one of the most dangerous creatures from the demon world, a Crea.]
‘Crea?’
As I asked the question, a large silhouette emerged from the mist.
“Uh? That’s…”
I let out a short gasp before it happened.
“Kieeeeeeek!”
A dinosaur-like creature, one I felt I had seen before, roared. Could it be that monsters resembling dinosaurs also existed in the demon world?
[What’s that?!]
Guess not.
Kwoong! Bang!
The beast charged, making the ground tremble. As I braced myself to swing my sword, the monster twisted its body and surged towards Iris instead.
“Uh-oh? It shouldn’t go that way! Gargandoa, take it out fast!”
[Yeah, yeah!]
Startled, Gargandoa swung the sword without any fancy lines. As the mist swirled, a blood-red sword slash flew out… and missed completely, slicing only air as the monster dodged by dropping low.
“What is that?!”
[What is that?!]
Gargandoa and I shouted at the same time.
“Kieeeek!”
The creature roared again, opening its massive mouth wide to lunge at Iris, who seemed to be its only target. It was like pure madness in pursuit.
Kwaang!
The monster’s enormous jaw nearly snapped at Iris. But Iris wasn’t one to back down easily; she stepped back and swung her sword fiercely.
The creature got sliced, blood gushing out, but it quickly stopped.
‘This must be my fault…’
The creature’s appearance, the sudden stop of blood—everything about it seemed to remind me of monsters that popped up with giant robots in a gag-filled world.
‘But why now?’
The gag filter had been applied in various ways before, but until now, it never threatened anyone by my side.
‘Is Iris attacking because of me?’
The exact mechanism was frustratingly hard to grasp. I couldn’t just stand around, so I swung the Demon Sword vertically.
A long gash appeared on the monster’s body.
“Ki… eek…”
The monster let out a short scream before—
Kwaang!
It exploded and disappeared. I stared at the unmoving mist, convinced it was the gag filter at work.
Normally, such explosions would clear the surrounding mist like a storm. The fact it didn’t vanish meant that blast was the monster’s dramatic exit.
Clang, whoosh! Clang, whoosh!
During the chaos of defeating the monster, more time had passed, and I heard more gates opening. This time, I heard two sounds at once.
“Kieeeek!” “Kieeek?!”
The new arrivals were yellow and pink monsters. They charged towards Iris just like the first one.
[What on earth is happening?!]
Gargandoa shouted in disbelief. I bit my lip and spoke up.
“Gargandoa, let’s take those two down as quickly as possible.”
[I was already thinking that!]
I relinquished the lead to Gargandoa as I turned to look at Iris. She stood back with her sword drawn, maintaining distance from the monsters, perhaps worried about another explosion.
‘This can’t go on. I need to wrap this match up fast. To do that…’
One of us had to die.
Usually, such narratives led to tragic and heart-wrenching events. But here, there were gags about infinite regeneration!
‘Alright, let’s get Iris to stab me and play dead.’
If that worked, both Iris and I could safely slip out of the arena.
‘So first, I need to…’
Sshwack!
“Ke… hek?” “Kiiit?”
The gigantic monsters once again got sliced in half.
Kwaang! Kwaang!
With a thunderous boom, they disappeared.
‘Two minutes left.’
I had to fake my death by Iris’s hand within two minutes.
I ran toward Iris and told Gargandoa,
‘Gargandoa, it looks like we need to finish this fight quickly.’
[…! Hey, I should get to say such cool lines! You, too, partner, wanted to give a line after all! I came here to end this fight… I will end it…]
As Gargandoa muttered, I continued.
‘Since I won’t actually die, I’m planning to act dead after Iris stabs me. Can you follow along?’
[Well, I didn’t really like this stage… I mean, match, anyway, so I’ll do that… But can I drink the blood that comes out?]
‘Sure, but don’t make it too obvious.’
[Got it!]
As Gargandoa enthusiastically agreed, my body charged toward Iris. She, having noticed my approach, quickly swung her head around, her eyes blazing.
“Hooo, hrr… Die!”
I pondered what made me appear so infuriating to her until the thought of that crossdressing man crossed my mind, and I nodded unconsciously.
‘If she sees something like that, no wonder she’s acting like this.’
Clang! Creak!
The sound of swords clashing echoed like a scream. Gargandoa and Iris’s swords clashed repeatedly.
[Looks like we need to finish this up quickly. Her sword will break soon.]
‘Really?’
[No doubt. It can’t hold up against a magnificent sword like mine!]
Then Gargandoa said seriously,
[I’m going to make an opening for you to be stabbed… Where should she stab you? Stomach?]
‘No, have her go for the heart. What if she hits the stomach and I’m counted as still alive?’
[Hey partner, you’re not… going to die from a stab to the heart, right?]
‘Usually, no.’
[….]
Gargandoa fell silent momentarily.
[Then I’ll take your word for it.]
With that, Gargandoa eased the pressure he was applying against Iris’s sword.
Chaeang!
The sword slipped from below, exposing my upper body. Iris’s eyes gleamed as she lunged her sword toward my heart.
“Haahaaat!”
Her voice—usually so cute—came out ragged as the sword tip pierced through.
“Kuhuk…!”
The moment my heart got impaled, I felt an intuition.
‘Uh? Am I really going to die?’
My vision dimmed to black.