Upon returning home, my heavy eyelids began to droop.
I couldn’t give in to this drowsiness.
I pulled out the lunchbox that had been stuffed in the fridge and microwaved it for one minute and thirty seconds.
“Siyeon… you need to wake up…”
As the microwave hummed and the turntable spun, I tried to wake Siyeon.
She made a short groan and futilely tossed and turned in resistance, but now that her senses were returning, there was no way she could stay asleep.
A proper poke to the side, between her waist and armpits, tickling just right.
My fingers seeking the perfect spot, those tiny fingers made their way there solely to wake her.
“Get up!”
“Ugh, no! Uuuu…”
As Siyeon twisted her body with a wriggle from the tickling, she rubbed her eyes and started to wake up.
Beep-beep! The microwave beeped, signaling that the first lunchbox was heated.
I took out the warmed lunchbox and put in the second one, setting the timer for the same duration.
If I were to clean them well, feed her, dress her, and have her walk to school, then…
‘I’m so freaking sleepy.’
Drooping over my desk, I let my eyes close for just a moment.
When the first class starts, I might have to get up.
Of all places, my seat is right in front of the teacher’s desk—there’s no way I can even pretend to sleep there.
Still, today, I want to hold onto a sliver of hope.
Because today is…
“Alright, everyone, stand up and come to the front.”
A chance to escape the absurd alphabetical seating arrangement that was infuriating from Kim’s perspective and draw lots to sneak to the back!
‘God, Buddha, Allah…’
Praying that I draw a big number, I even summoned the gods I thought were nonexistent for a moment of prayer.
Reaching into the lottery box, I began to rummage around meaninglessly.
First ticket—doesn’t feel good.
Second ticket—this isn’t it either.
Third ticket—this one feels like it’s in the tens.
Fourth ticket—this is it.
The heaviness emanating from the larger piece of paper compared to the others.
This is all there is.
‘Pleeeease!’
I picked out the ticket with my thumb and index finger, trembling hands carefully unfolding that tiny scrap of paper.
What lay within, the glorious black letters that would bring me peace, was…
[3]
‘Crap.’
Instead of comfort, it brought nothing but miserable despair.
Just one slot. I had merely moved to the left.
The seat that had been to the right of the teacher’s desk was now on the left.
I should have just picked the ticket I first drew.
Regrets flow through my mind, but it’s too late now.
After everyone in class drew their lots, it was time to swap desks.
The raucous clatter resonated through the classroom, gradually fading away.
“Ah.”
It was like adding insult to injury; a boy who drew number four.
That was the kid who had gifted me with a mop and muddy water just the other day.
Until the seats change again, I won’t have a chance to chat with the person next to me.
“Is there anyone who feels like they need to sit in front because their eyesight isn’t great?”
The last chance to switch seats.
For this, I can’t help but hope someone raises their hand.
The trembling of my nervous legs rattled against the desk, caught between a thin thread of anticipation and anxiety that it would all end here.
Please, a seat in the back… no, just behind a friend with a decently big stature.
Someone save this magical girl suffering from chronic sleep deprivation.
Gods who just betrayed me, please come back!
“You’re aware of that, right?”
With the teacher’s words rendering my prayers worthless, the seats were confirmed as they were.
‘God is dead.’
I let go of my hands which had been desperately clasped together.
Despair filled me at the futility of my prayers.
I echoed a sense of empty resentment within.
God is dead.
Though it’s not a phrase meant for this situation, it does sum things up nicely.
If a god exists, then at the very least, one thing is certain: they are indifferent to me.
How can the world be like this?
‘No way?’
Flipping around that last thought, I reconsidered my grumbling about indifference.
Maybe it’s not just indifference; perhaps they outright dislike me.
Did I hurt your feelings by praying all at once?
So now you’re coming to personally wreak havoc.
…Maybe it’s because I can’t sleep, but all kinds of thoughts keep popping up.
‘So this is how humans go insane.’
Setting aside the absurdity, I just waited for the fifth period to end.
Even on the way back, I trudged towards the apartment, half-lidded eyes.
Upon reaching the entrance, I noticed that the cat food bowl and box which had been there on the first floor had been removed.
Today felt like a dry desert, all joy stripped away.
I thanked the seed I had scattered last night for blooming, a little spray of refreshing rain.
‘Thank you, thank you, thank you.’
The gods aren’t that cruel after all, I kept shouting inwardly, wanting to toast to the vanished cat’s sanctuary.
When I approached the spot where the food and water bowls had been, a different note was stuck there compared to before.
[This is a warning to the bitch who keeps throwing cat food here.]
‘Whoa.’
Not a simple printout from a computer, but handwritten in beautiful calligraphy—it caught my eye immediately.
That thrilling and exciting introduction, the smattering of profanity that shouldn’t enter my mouth, and the thread of reason barely visible.
It said to take pity on the stray cat and raise it, but if you run into someone who places food bowls or something, then don’t expect mercy.
I could feel a shared anger seeping through the paper.
The person who posted the note likely cleaned up the bowls and water.
If someone could go that far in an apartment, then it wouldn’t be long before the cat issue got sorted.
A part of me felt relieved at that fervor as I returned home.
Now the remaining issue is just the noise from upstairs.
“Not again…”
Thud, thud, thud, thud—still the noise from the upper floor echoed.
With short steps, I thought about the person living above who must be making all this racket—naturally, it would be a toddler just learning to walk.
Knowing this can’t go on like this, I resolved to have a talk about it sooner rather than later.
Drawing from the big data gathered in the community, I figured it wouldn’t be of any use.
Standing in front of this door of someone I thought I would never visit in my life.
“Phew…”
Standing there, I let out a deep sigh that couldn’t be deemed a child’s.
The one I needed to converse with could very well be a beast in human form.
Act as age-appropriate as possible, like a screw that’s come loose.
I am a lower-grade elementary student.
I am a lower-grade elementary school girl.
A time to switch off complicated language and curses.
With the innocence of a child who does not speak lies.
If you’re a decent person, you should feel guilty.
“Ah, huff…”
I took another deep breath.
At the end of that breath, I extended my arm and knocked on the door.
Two heavy knocks echoed, followed by a voice from beyond the door.
“Who is it?”
Someone’s voice was diluted as it came through the iron door.
I had expected to hear a woman’s voice thick with venom, but surprisingly, it was a man’s.
Without checking who was outside, the door swung open.
A man appeared, dressed in a light gray short-sleeve shirt and flowy long pants.
“Hello!”
Before the man could say anything, I cheerfully greeted him.
In the forced high voice, there was an innocent child-like sound escaping.
The man seemed a bit startled, glancing around.
“Um, okay. Who are you?”
“I live in the flat below. It’s too noisy because of the footsteps.”
“Oh, uh, right?”
Perhaps it was unexpected for him to be directly pointed out by a child, his face flushed with embarrassment.
Peeking through the door, I could see that the interior of his house was quite similar to ours.
Naturally, there was a toddler running around as I expected.
While the kid ran around wildly, the auntie inside was glued to the TV, ignoring them completely.
“Uh, I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking of putting down a mat soon…”
“It’s okay.”
And that was the end of the discussion.
I nodded lightly and felt a sense of accomplishment returning to our floor as the matter resolved so easily.
The dad, who seemed to be the man, looked like a rational person.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
“Oh, nothing. Just a kid from the flat below came up.”
As I walked down the stairs, the aunt’s unpleasant voice grated against my ears.
I thought the noise issue had been settled, but just a few days later…
Thud, thud, thud, thud!
The community’s big data was not wrong.
The one who was mistaken was me, and what was right was them.
‘There’s been no improvement at all.’
Siyeon and I still live with earplugs when we go to sleep.
In fact, the cheerful steps of the child seem to be growing more frequent.
That certainly supports the argument of original sin.
The moment I dared to trust humanity, I was made to regret my folly.
“Hey, Gomteng.”
In the end, with a strong resolve, I called out to the stuffed bear lying on the cushion.
“Yes?”
“Let’s just buy a computer and a speaker.”
I would rather live as a perpetrator than a victim.
Thus, my firm resolve was set.
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