Chapter 167
On the way back after finishing the recording, Gaeul felt a strong urge to grab the hand of Taeyang, who was walking a step ahead of her.
But she quickly dismissed such thoughts and walked beside him as usual, cheerfully saying.
“Today was really fun! Hehe, I wish this time could last forever.”
Taeyang chuckled at her and ruffled her hair.
His touch was pleasant, but Gaeul felt a pang of regret.
She knew that his warmth was more akin to treating her like a child rather than as a woman.
‘It would be nice if he saw me as a woman.’
Gaeul unconsciously tidied her bangs.
While she was wondering if her makeup was okay and briefly thought about wanting to check a mirror, Taeyang casually brought up a subject.
“About your mother that I saw during the recording at Music Road. They say your daughter has a rare disease.”
He was digging up the secret Gaeul had hidden deep in her chest.
“You already knew, right, Gaeul?”
“…”
That’s right. She already knew.
Gaeul knew why her mother had clung to her so desperately.
Her mother must have known too. It was almost impossible to get a good outcome by clinging and begging in such a way now after abandoning her daughter.
There had to be a sneaky and shameless reason for her mother.
“That kind of thing, she must have lied just to squeeze some money out of you.”
“I checked, and it’s not a lie.”
“…I don’t care. She’s just a stranger now.”
“So? Gaeul, do you really feel at ease thinking of her as a stranger?”
That’s how she should have felt.
Gaeul still carried many burdens.
She owed a lot, especially to Taeyang.
In the midst of all this, she had no energy left to care for the mother who abandoned her.
But her heart didn’t follow suit.
“No, it was uncomfortable. …What’s that about? She left Gahyeon and me behind to live her new life, so she should live well! Why! Why is she living such a life that makes my heart uneasy?”
Her mother had left like that.
Saying she wanted to live too, she vanished, leaving behind those few words.
It was sad. It was hateful. It was resentful.
And she missed her.
But she never came back.
“That daughter you mentioned too. You tossed us aside so easily, yet why not this time! If she could come to someone like me, someone whose face she barely remembers, and kneel down and beg with humility for the child’s sake, why didn’t she do that for me and Gahyeon?”
“I went to someone whose face I could barely remember, kneeling down and begging in a humble manner, trying to be considerate for the child, so why didn’t they do the same for me and Gahyeon?!”
How could someone who knew how to love like that and had maternal instincts end up abandoning them?
Were Gaeul and Gahyeon such useless children? Were they just not worthy enough to receive love?
Gaeul tried her best. Thinking her lack of love was due to her own shortcomings, she made sure not to fall behind in her studies, did chores, cooked, and even took on part-time jobs. But receiving that love remained elusive.
She didn’t get it. Gaeul couldn’t possibly understand the reason.
“The mother I know wasn’t like that. She was so immature that she couldn’t even do her job properly, only scaring us by saying, ‘I’m going to divorce!’ all the time, and I had to learn how to manage a household since I was little. …Then why is she showing up to me like that?”
Yet, even so, she secretly hoped her mother was happy wherever she had gone to find happiness.
“Just… live well. If you selfishly chose to find your own happiness, just live well… sniff, sniff.”
Gaeul collapsed on the spot and sobbed loudly.
Taeyang knelt beside her, matching her eye level, and gently patted her on the back.
“I paid for the medical bills.”
“…What?”
Gaeul looked at Taeyang.
“Why… why would you do that?”
“I took care of the urgent matters like that, so you don’t have to worry anymore.”
That made no sense.
In a whirlwind of confusion, Gaeul shouted, “Taeyang, you have no reason to pay that money!”
“Gaeul, didn’t you want to help?”
“Well….”
“Exactly. That’s enough reason for me to act.”
Her words faltered.
Still, Gaeul squeezed out, “That’s just unreasonable. It’s nothing but a child throwing a tantrum.”
The reason Gaeul ultimately didn’t bring up this matter was that she knew it meant sharing the burden the moment she articulated it.
TwoBear’s Staff are really good people. If Gaeul asked them for help, they would have found a way to deal with it in some manner.
And it was not just a simple act of kindness. They sacrificed purely for Gaeul, solely because she wanted it.
Gaeul didn’t want to see that kind of thing. Especially not from Seon Taeyang.
“I already owe so much to Taeyang; how can I shamelessly do something like that!””
“How can you do such a thing when you’re in debt, without any shame!”
“If you think of the prospects, you can pay back the money. But that’s a discussion for a future settlement.”
“In the meantime, nobody knows what kind of natural disaster might thwart that.”
“Still, Taeyang always chooses to take responsibility instead of his immature and weak self.”
“Gaeul didn’t want that.”
As Gaeul shed tears over her pain, Taeyang gently brushed her hair back and said, “Gaeul, do you remember what I told you before?”
“…What did you say?”
“I said I would be your adult.”
That was the first time Gaeul began to open her heart to Taeyang.
“It’s okay to throw a tantrum. It’s fine to be unreasonable. You can lean on me. Just do what you want.”
The man said that as if it was the most natural thing.
“Because that’s what adults do.”
*
Once she succeeded in containing her emotions and stopped crying, Gaeul spoke up.
“I’ll definitely pay it all back someday.”
Taeyang is her adult.
So, Gaeul is a child to Taeyang.
It was truly warm. Comfortable.
But Gaeul couldn’t be satisfied with just that.
“I’m going to grow up at full speed and become an adult, not a child. Please wait just a little longer until then.”
What she wanted wasn’t a one-sided supportive relationship like now.
She wanted a reciprocal relationship where she could support Taeyang when he was struggling or about to collapse.
Yes, she wanted a relationship known as life partners or spouses.
“I will definitely pay it all back. I promise.”
Saying that, Gaeul buried her face in Taeyang’s embrace.
She knew that her actions were just like a child’s tantrum.
Therefore, thinking of the future she dreamed of with Taeyang, her current behavior was something she should have restrained.
But still, she wanted to lean on him a little longer.
Her racing heart desperately desired that.
*
After finishing the recording in the morning and returning to the company, Gaeul looked for Taeyang.
I found it.
There wasn’t any special reason. I just wanted to capture his face after not seeing it for three days due to busy work.
“Brother Taeyang!”
However, Taeyang was not in the usual office where he worked.
“Oh, Gaeul. If it’s Taeyang, he probably went to the rooftop to get some fresh air.”
“Thank you, Manager Seok!”
“But you can just call me Manager Seok casually….”
Gaeul did not hear Seok Hyun-woo’s following words and walked briskly toward the rooftop.
‘Hmm… should I sneak up and give him a back hug?’
With such playful thoughts, Gaeul carefully opened the door as she approached the rooftop.
And what she saw was completely unexpected.
“Eunbyeol, you’re doing well. And it’s okay if you don’t.”
It was Seo Eunbyeol and Taeyang having a conversation.
“….”
Gaeul, watching through the crack of the rooftop door, suddenly froze, holding her breath as she saw the scene.
“Why is Team Leader Seon so generous to me?”
“Am I generous?”
“Yes, anyone would see it that way.”
The two were having a conversation not just as small talk, but one revealing their true feelings.
It felt real.
While Taeyang was special to Gaeul, it struck her that he probably wasn’t special only to her.
Her stomach churned. Her head felt dizzy.
The thoughts of needing to keep watching clashed with the desire not to see.
As Gaeul was frozen in that deep conflict, a change occurred.
“Are you okay, Team Leader Seon? …You’re crying.”
Taeyang was in tears.
‘Why?’
The last time she had seen him cry was over a year ago when he brought in the previous summer. Yet, why was he shedding such precious tears now?
It was hard to understand. Difficult to watch.
“…It’ll be fine. Everything.”
She didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to see.
Yet, Gaeul did see.
Right then, the look in Taeyang’s eyes as he gazed at Eunbyeol was fundamentally different from the way he looked at Gyeoul, Yeoreum, and even Gaeul.
It wasn’t the look of a parent.
“Brother Taeyang?”
It was the look of someone in love.
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