Chapter 258
‘My feelings for him… weren’t this intense and deep from the very beginning.’
On a quiet day.
After class, Frieda prepared to get up from her chair.
Her area was completely empty. The long desk held only Frieda’s books and writing tools.
No one wanted to sit next to her.
No one wanted to befriend her.
Frieda was a woman who betrayed her class and the people around her for money.
Her terrible reputation had already spread far and wide, becoming a deterrent for anyone to approach her.
Ugh—.
As Frieda pushed her chair in and exited the classroom.
She tried not to care about the gazes around her as she walked down the hallway.
Her destination was the Arbol Frutal Laboratory.
The only place besides the Formist where she could have conversations with others.
Also, the place where the object of her sticky, deep feelings resided.
Where Vargan was.
‘When I first got to know him, I thought he was someone completely unrelated to me.’
However, thanks to a single coin he secretly handed over,
a connection was formed, allowing her to be close to him.
In exchange, she was branded as a woman who betrayed the highly regarded Saint and her class. But it was a trade worth it.
His wealth. Family. Abilities.
Becoming Vargan’s woman meant she could crave all of that.
‘When I heard the news about his fiancée not getting along with him, I moved with the thought of… maybe… But contrary to what I had heard, his feelings for Erica were as solid as a rock, unable to be shattered even by a hammer.’
On the other hand, Erica was busy pushing Vargan away with her constant cold attitude.
Vargan barely turned his head even after Frieda wiggled her tail ten times. Erica, on the other hand, showed various expressions to his sullen face.
Smiles he would never show her.
And even those eyes that looked somewhat pitiful.
Frieda wanted that.
‘The more I hated and envied Erica, strangely enough, my affection for him… no, my ‘desire to possess’ him only grew.’
The less you can have, the more you want it.
The more expensive it is, the more you want to buy it.
The more competitors there are.
Especially if those competitors are people you dislike.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say the little spark of emotion barely hanging on a matchstick had found itself ignited by oil.
‘This way, oddly enough, I ended up seeing Vargan himself rather than his background, and I craved him.’
“Strangely enough, it was the person Vargan himself rather than his background that caught my attention.”
“I wished that the scent of my own perfume would cling to him instead of hers.”
“I hoped the lipstick mark on his lips would be mine and not hers.”
So Frieda stole a kiss from his lips, pressing her body closer so her perfume would transfer onto him.
“But he must have thought of that damned girl, not me, even when kissing me.”
Frieda knew, in fact.
She knew that doing so wouldn’t make Vargan give his heart to her.
That such a kiss wouldn’t have any effect whatsoever.
—Clack.
Frieda halted her steps as she walked down the hallway.
In the distance, she saw Vargan and Erica heading somewhere together.
With a smile that still didn’t show her, he seemed both bittersweet and happy.
“……”
Frieda rolled her eyes and turned away.
Though the laboratory was right nearby, she found no reason to enter.
She tried not to show it, but her perfectly arched eyebrows gathered, and her lips twisted.
“Right. Enjoy this moment to the fullest, you lovely heiress of the Portlet Family.”
Frieda recalled the promise Vargan made to her.
It won’t be long… just a little bit more.
If she chewed on this cowardly feeling a bit longer, she might taste something sweet, even blissful.
Just until that moment… if she can hold on…
When that moment comes…
“Who will stand by his side won’t be you, but me.”
*
Erica held onto Vargan’s hand tightly.
Vargan also didn’t let go of Erica’s hand as they walked together.
Feeling happy during their long-awaited time alone, Erica lifted her head.
“I didn’t know there were so many things to see in the Academia.”
“I had only heard about it. This is my first time experiencing it myself.”
“If I had known there were so many places to explore, I should have come sooner… Oh, but then again, even if I had known earlier, I probably couldn’t have come since I treated you so coldly.”
“……”
As Erica’s head drooped like a blade of grass unable to bear the weight of dew, Vargan gently pinched her cheek with his finger.
Her head lifted as if a button had been pressed, and Vargan said.
“It’s not your fault. I hope you don’t blame yourself on a day like today.”
“…I understand. I’m sorry.”
“Even saying sorry is forbidden.”
“…Okay.”
“Don’t sulk either.”
“…But that feels a bit oppressive.”
“That’s new. I have a naturally high-pressure personality.”
As Vargan joked, Erica couldn’t help but chuckle.
Seeing Erica’s mood lighten, Vargan scanned the surroundings and spotted a suitable bench.
“Since we’ve been walking for a while, how about we take a break?”
“Sounds great. Over there?”
The two sat on the bench.
They still held onto each other’s hands.
As if locked like a clasped lock, they clung to one another.
“……”
“What’s on your mind, Erica?”
As Erica stared blankly at him, Vargan asked.
She continued, saying it was nothing special.
“I just… seeing you joke around with me after such a long time reminded me of last year’s first semester.”
“I see. Back then, your reactions were so amusing that I unconsciously acted even more mischievously.”
“Your reaction is so funny that I can’t help but be playful too.”
“…I guess that’s true.”
Erica briefly recalled a year ago.
It had been a while since she had seen Vargan.
Maybe it was because quite some time had passed. When they encountered each other at the New Student Welcome Ceremony, he seemed a bit different from the Vargan she remembered.
It could be because he had grown taller… but there was something about his demeanor that felt different.
“…But Vargan, now that I think about it, what was the reason back then…?”
“Reason?”
“Yeah, reason. Before coming to the Academia, you were so focused on pushing me away.”
“…….”
“But when I saw you after a long time, you readily came up to me and joked around. At the time, I misunderstood that you were trying to toy with me. Now I know better, so I was curious if there was a reason for your change in attitude.”
“…A reason.”
Vargan recalled that moment, nearly two years ago.
The time when he had escaped reality and entered a novel.
“I can’t say there wasn’t one.”
Vargan smiled faintly.
*
His eyes suddenly flew open.
His body reacted on instinct.
“Huff… huff….”
Sweat poured out as if every pore on his scalp had opened.
His clothes and body were drenched.
It was a hot summer, but that alone wasn’t the reason he felt like he was caught in a heavy downpour.
As he calmed his ragged breath, he slowly looked around.
A landscape he had never seen before.
European-style furniture and ceilings that were hard to distinguish if they were medieval or modern.
He pushed the blanket aside and stood up.
There was a large mirror.
He walked over to it and took in his entire reflection.
The man reflected in the mirror was unfamiliar yet achingly familiar.
“Is this… ‘me’?”
Even the voice that came from his throat felt similar to his visual impression.
It definitely sounded like a voice he had never heard before, yet it was somehow familiar to his ears.
Me… me….
Is this really me?
But… I clearly……
Knock knock—.
“Young Master Vargan. Are you awake? May I come in and attend to you—”
“—No need. Step back. I can manage getting dressed and going out myself, so refrain from entering.”
“Yes, understood. Young Master.”
The order slipped out naturally.
The servant outside walked away with clicking shoes.
‘Vargan.’
Hearing that name caused a flood of previously blocked information to rush in.
The memories and sensations of the two souls merged perfectly, allowing him to grasp the situation.
Right, Vargan. The master of this body is Schugenharz Troa Vargan. That means ‘I’ am him?
“……”
Looking back in the mirror, his reflection stared back.
Eyes that were unmistakably intense.
Eyes of ‘Vargan’ that held unfathomable anger and sadness.
—Ha, ha…. Ha, ha, ha….
He suddenly laughed as if he had lost his mind.
Tears flowed uncontrollably from his eyes.
One hand pressed against his throbbing head, while his legs struggled to support his weight.
—So that’s how it was…. That’s all it was…….
Each tear that fell made the light in his eyes flicker.
He felt an unbearable sense of futility and anger at the truth of the world he had lived in.
—My incurable disease…. Erica’s miserable end…. Was it all just a story written in a book?
Is this all just a single story?
He specifically mentioned only two incidents.
His accomplishments and his family.
Despite having experienced everything in the world firsthand.
The only thing he spoke about was the relationship between himself and Erica.
—Was that trivial and insignificant thing just to progress the story…!? Did Erica have to die alone in prison like that…!
Every time his tears fell from the mirror.
They left their mark on my palm.
The tears were hot and stung.
It was a pain so intense it nearly burned my skin.
—Does that mean my feelings for Erica! Every moment spent with her! Were just a few lines of ‘setting’…!?
The Vargan in the mirror was filled with intense rage.
Crying like a madman, his face twisted into a grin.
He hastily opened a nearby drawer and grabbed a dagger.
With a swift motion, he drew it from its sheath and tossed it around.
In his hand was a dagger finely sharpened enough to easily take a life.
—If I’m going to be manipulated by God again, it’d be better to just die…!!
He shouted that out, unable to contain his anger, and cut his wrist.
Droplets—.
A long cut appeared on my wrist, and red blood dripped. Drip. Drip.
Even though it was Vargan in the mirror who harmed himself, bleeding was the same for both of us.
—I resent you! I really do!! I can’t stand not being able to snap the neck of the God that’s trying to use me…!!
The Vargan in the mirror thrashed about and grabbed the dagger again.
This time, he held it reverse, and it looked like he intended to stab deeply rather than slice.
I calmly looked down at the wound.
Fortunately, it didn’t seem too deep; the magic of this place should heal it quickly.
As I calculated rapidly in my mind, I gazed at Vargan reflected in the mirror.
“Are you really going to die like this?”
I spoke to him.
He and I are the same.
Sharing the same memories and the same sensations contained in the same body.
Just as my flaws are his flaws.
His regrets and weaknesses are equally mine, and I can understand them.
At my question, the Vargan in the mirror finally faced me.
His eyes were looking at ‘me’ instead of the short blade.
“Are you just going to let Erica meet a miserable end?”
I asked him.
Would he make the same mistake… or perhaps an even greater failure?
Then, as if it struck a chord, he slowly lowered the hand that had been grasping the dagger.
See, it wouldn’t be ineffective.
Your thoughts and emotions are likewise mine.
“I’ll help you.”
In exchange for using your body.
Because we share the same feelings and memories.
“I will rescue Erica and free her from the shackles holding her.”
I proposed to Vargan.
He couldn’t refuse this offer, nor could he.
Knowing that brought a smile to my face.
“But if you’re going to die, die beautifully on your own.”
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