I don’t know when it started, but around the time I began to feel a little doubtful about living with Miragen, I started to wonder if I had really chosen the right path.
Can I really combine the act of loving Miragen with ending my reincarnation?
I tried dying dozens of times in search of an answer, but the reality was that I was still stuck in this cycle of reincarnation.
My head was throbbing.
No matter what I did, nothing changed, and even if I struggled hard, all that lay ahead was a future where I died.
Barking like a dog, crawling around, begging.
I tried my best to uncover the Crown Prince’s plot, but every time I thought it was the last moment, everything twisted.
“…It’s as if he knows everything.”
I have no idea to what extent he knows.
But it was clear that Kaitel was countering every action I took.
How? No, even more important, why is he paying so much attention to me?
I had no intention of opposing Kaitel’s plans.
Even when I had taken Miragen away to a quiet place and lived without power, he still killed me.
My relationship with Miragen was back to being married, but the issue I had to think about at this point was Kaitel’s movements.
Now that I had left for the North, it was clear he was either planning to meet my father or plotting to deal with me somehow.
Even though I messed up their meeting in the past, he still managed to kill me in another way.
I had already dealt with the causes I knew beforehand, and just in case he found another method, I even set a person on the Crown Prince.
There was no sign that I had been caught. If that were the case, he would have easily killed me by now.
In any case, sending someone to the Crown Prince meant that he needed some benefits from that surveillance.
What I discovered during this process was that Kaitel had killed the Alchemist Jay while wandering around.
Not just once, but several times.
I couldn’t save her unless I didn’t care about Miragen, so I left her alone for now, but I planned to try saving Jay someday.
With how persistently he was killing her, it was likely that Kaitel knew something he had to hide.
My mind was in chaos. I still hadn’t perfectly grasped how much Kaitel knew.
What I was sure of was just a few things.
As I spread out my fingers to gauge the number, I let out a small sigh and rubbed my face.
I don’t really expect anything to change by doing this.
“I’m not expecting much.”
It felt like holding onto a straw, and I had let go of a significant amount of expectation.
It’s a bit unfortunate that, in that process, my interest toward Miragen has faded.
If the two of us are to survive until the end… this may be the only way.
If I don’t believe the path I’m taking is right, it’s not strange to go a bit crazy.
I’ve died dozens of times in front of Miragen. If I had seen her die, I would have been even more broken.
What happened to Miragen after I died? I wonder if the child we made when we first met is doing well.
I was happy to earn the title of Father, yet I died without having even acted like one.
So, I didn’t create a child. If a child were to come, it might only be when this damn reincarnation ends.
I gazed into the void for a moment. The residual thoughts piling up with each repetition of reincarnation were gradually consuming me.
I couldn’t love Miragen like I did the first time, nor could I pour the same passion into this relationship.
Out of guilt, I couldn’t see her often. Miragen was in the south now, so she would probably return by this evening.
As I briefly looked at the setting sun, something suddenly occurred to me, and I slowly got up from my seat.
“I should prepare at least one gift.”
There was something I had once called pretty, but due to overthinking, I never bought it.
I regretted seeing her look disappointed. But if I welcomed her back with a gift, would she like it?
Seeing Miragen smile made this reincarnation not so bad.
The mind rotting from accumulating deaths was, at least when I was with Miragen, clearer than anything else.
If Miragen is here, it’s okay. If Miragen just stays by my side, I could do anything Kaitel asks me to do.
If I can’t even try the method this round, I might have to consider becoming one of Kaitel’s close aides next time.
Even then, they probably won’t directly keep an eye on me.
I waved lightly to the soldiers greeting me and slowly moved toward the path we had walked together before.
If I bought that decoration here and returned, I thought I could make it in time.
I knew the time Miragen would return from the south, so my steps were lighter than usual.
Thinking that this peace would eventually shatter felt like it could break my mind, but just thinking about Miragen made those thoughts fade away.
There was one element that gave me a sense of stability.
It’s amusing that most things are resolved with just the name Miragen, but considering that my dozens of lives are entangled with one woman, it makes perfect sense.
“How much is it?”
Before asking, I was already handing over the gold coin.
I was willing to buy it no matter the price, but I found it to be much cheaper than I thought, which made me laugh.
Still, as a princess, there should be some dignity. Isn’t this a bit too simple?
However, since she wants it, I should give it as a gift.
As I put the accessory in my pocket, a strange chill ran down my spine, causing my gaze to shift.
Caw—
Normally, a crow wouldn’t cry out like that.
Whenever the crow, treated as an ominous bird, cried, it was said that something unpleasant always happened in the Empire.
To begin with, crows tend to disappear like shadows when the moon rises.
Hearing that ominous sound coming from beyond the Imperial Palace, I felt strange thoughts seeping into my mind.
‘It’s not time for that yet.’
There was plenty of time until Miragen arrived.
As I began to walk, wondering if something was up, a frantic voice started to come from over there.
“It’s a disaster—!”
Flames—
The raging fire engulfed the Imperial Palace.
The flash appeared so suddenly that even those who couldn’t feel magic power well shuddered at the late sense of the magic radiating from the flames.
What on earth was happening?
Just when I barely managed to hold onto my fading sanity, the knight, who had grabbed my sleeve to wake me up, wore a similarly pale expression.
The ominous feeling spread in an instant.
The chill felt at the back of my throat overturned my entire body, and my breath felt as hot as molten lava.
In that fleeting moment, when I heard the knight’s words, my body propelled forward faster than ever before.
“The princess—has been attacked!”
#
Reason.
And impulse.
Kaitel thought he was a rational person.
Until just two years ago, he thought so. While dealing with the residual thoughts of the dead dragon, he had become a bit emotional.
But surely, that was merely a slight side effect of handling the thoughts.
He thought he could manage that level of burden.
He always remained silent about the things that happened unknowingly.
“…Did I kill this?”
“Yes, Your Highness. It was something you did because you didn’t like it directly.”
“I never had a hobby of killing people.”
The blood on my hands and the sticky flesh still clinging to my sword.
When I briefly lost my mind and came to, such things had frequently been happening.
It seemed fine in the past, but recently, the frequency of these lapses in consciousness had been escalating dramatically.
Surely, when I first received the Residual Thought, it didn’t bother me at all.
But as time passed, the changes became rapid; I used to lose my Mind once a year, but now I lose it several times a week.
When my eyes turn red, I commit slaughter with my own hands, so I had no choice but to hide all of this to become Emperor.
That’s why I gathered those wearing masks as my subordinates.
I was suspicious when they approached me, claiming they would help me study the Dead Dragon’s Residual Thought.
But it was true they were more efficient than any other subordinates I had.
When I lost my Mind, I had to ensure I wouldn’t kill anyone anymore; I had to prevent the Dead Dragon’s Residual Thought from taking over.
As the Crown Prince who would revive the Empire, I needed to possess perfect Reason and Mind more than anyone else.
So far, I was okay.
If I kill Robert Taylor this time, everything would be fine afterward.
“…But why do I have to kill Robert Taylor?”
When I asked myself in a subdued Voice, a sharp Pain shot through the back of my head again.
The Eyes reflected in the mirror were filled with red.
As if trying to erase the golden hue lingering for a moment, the red light emitted a glow again, shining brightly in the dark room.
Regardless of the Reason, Robert Taylor had to die. What did it matter what the Reason was in the first place?
Robert Taylor was a being that had to be destroyed as time flowed.
Through the entangled Time, the only being that could ruin me was Robert Taylor, so I had to somehow crush my Mind before that.
“I think you’re struggling to stay sane now.”
“…I’m fine. I am the Crown Prince of the Empire.”
“In that case, can you clearly tell me what you’re about to do?”
Thoughts of incomprehensible entangled Time swirled in my head, but once again, Kai Tel shook his head in confusion and moved his Lips.
A plan to ruin Robert Taylor.
It seemed all this time I was fixated on ending the Reincarnation, but it appeared that what mattered most to him was Miragen.
My Younger Sibling.
After I become Emperor later, I should push through the North together and advance into the South – No.
A sacrificial offering that had to be sacrificed to kill Robert Taylor.
When the Eyes regained their vivid red hue, Cain, who was watching that, smiled faintly, as if satisfied.
“What do you plan to do?”
“I have to kill him. Everything is for the Empire. Even if it’s my Younger Sibling… she must not be a hindrance.”
Whose plan it was slowly faded into Forgetting.
Gazing at the flames flickering in the Imperial Palace, Kai Tel rubbed his now bright red Eyes and smiled faintly.
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