What was I just doing?
Adele’s eyes, which had been playing with her now dry lips, narrowed.
Her face turned red as she recalled what Robert was about to do to her.
It was an obvious change in her complexion, yet there was little time to care about such things.
If only the artifact hadn’t gone off in that situation.
Surely, their lips would have touched without issue. They were on the verge of it, after all.
Who knows, maybe they did.
The problem was that it was hard to think clearly when emotions were surging.
She should have leaned in first. If only she had been a bit more proactive, they surely would have connected.
With those thoughts, regret swept over her, but she realized that the only person to contact the artifact was the princess.
Of all times to reach out, why then?
No matter how she thought about it, the regret remained, and Adele’s gaze, which had bitten her lips lightly, turned cold.
But what lingered in her mind was the memory of just moments ago.
What the heck was she thinking?
The one drawing the line as they got closer was always Robert.
She knew he wanted to apologize, but she never expected him to get that close in that situation.
Adele realized that Robert was quite shaken up.
He seemed nonchalant but was probably feeling quite anxious. What exactly he was anxious about, she didn’t know.
Had they not just met after encountering the Minotaurus?
As she pondered what kind of change of heart he might have gone through, well, who knows.
Adele frowned slightly as she watched Robert contact the princess through the artifact.
The atmosphere had broken. What happened earlier wouldn’t repeat. It was just a missed opportunity.
…It would be a lie to say she wasn’t disappointed. However, the closest thing to her was herself.
It was her who was about to touch him, and it was her who had briefly shaken his heart.
This time, she was willing to let it slide.
Though the mood was broken, whether such a situation would arise again was uncertain.
“Just let it go this time.”
Adele grinned as she caressed her cheek, which had been touched by his much larger hand.
Even though she didn’t like him contacting someone else, she had quite liked what he had shown before.
Of course, if he did something like that again next time, she planned to jump in first and see it through.
Lingering around could lead to her unexpectedly losing him, as there were too many foxes aiming for Robert out there.
#
When it comes to memories, Miragen didn’t have much to say about it.
She wasn’t even sure if the memories that had seeped in without her knowledge were true.
It’s you, alright.
Since meeting Robert, I’ve thought a lot.
I had no way of knowing whether these sudden memories were real or not.
I mean, I wasn’t even his lover, so why does he look like a love-struck partner in my memories?
Since then, I couldn’t concentrate on anything.
If I said something like that to Robert, not only would I get some strange looks, but if weird rumors spread, it would have a negative impact on both him and me.
So, I tried to forget. But as time passed, my memories got clearer, making them feel almost real.
He seemed a little brighter than I remembered, with eyes a bit purer than what I knew.
It felt quite different from our first meeting, where he had a rather dark impression.
If there’s a Robert I don’t know, then surely our current relationship wouldn’t be like this.
That memory—no, I’m not even sure if I can call it a memory, Miragen still couldn’t decide.
If it’s just a delusion, how embarrassing would that be? I’d have nothing to say if Robert heard this and laughed.
Anyway, in my delusion, Robert was gazing at only one person.
It was hard to believe that person was Miragen herself. But I figured it was just because it was a delusion.
I knew there were plenty of people who liked Robert.
Even before he became the head of the family, and after that, I heard there were several marriage proposals.
Honestly, it was quite surprising that Robert still didn’t have a partner.
Usually, at this point, one would have found a partner and might even have kids by now.
He was the only duke in the country, after all, wielding more power than most nobles, unlike Adele, who held an honorary title as a grand duke.
“Ha…”
Just thinking about it was frustrating, but that was the reality.
Perhaps, no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t be easy to slip into that gap.
We had met by chance until now, but both Robert and I were getting busier.
Robert was in the North. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I heard Adrian was heading to the North as well.
Though I often got tangled up with the grand duke and Adrian, if you asked if I was as close to Robert as they were… I would bitterly smile.
Compared to them, I always felt like I was in a debt position.
It was Robert who saved me in dangerous times, and it was Robert who helped me establish myself amidst the fierce court intrigues.
Without him, I hadn’t achieved anything on my own, so it made my head spin.
Even in this situation, I was still looking for him. I didn’t even intend to seek his help, but to be honest, I just wanted to see him.
I was aware that this feeling had grown closer to affection.
Maybe because of that, these delusions surged, but if you asked whether they were truly unwelcome thoughts, I would deny it.
Maybe that’s why these delusions suddenly came to mind, but if asked whether it was really an unwanted thought, Miragen would deny it.
It would have been nice if it were that way. Robert’s heart aside, it was quite a happy imagination for Miragen.
She knew there wasn’t much time to let her heart dwell on such thoughts.
The happenings within the Imperial Family were unusual, and she was aware that it was all under the leadership of her older brother, Kaitel.
If it hadn’t been for Robert, they wouldn’t have even been able to plant a person in the first place.
Miragen discovered that people wearing masks were helping Kaitel in their own way.
The reason Robert headed north might be to meet the Grand Duke.
Especially if he reacted sensitively to relics, there was also the possibility that he left to find those masked individuals.
Even if she wanted to offer some help, she couldn’t find them and gave up, but she was relieved to know that Robert had his own reasons for heading out.
She didn’t look for the reason she felt relieved.
She wasn’t foolish enough to realize such things, but perhaps due to the recent surging delusions, she understood that her emotions were deepening.
The scenes she thought were delusions kept flowing on.
As time passed and days went by, the details became too vivid to call mere delusions.
She saw Robert die.
Just yesterday, they had promised each other a future, but the next day, she had to hear that Robert was executed.
It must be a nightmare; that person wouldn’t die for betrayal.
No matter how delusional it seemed, wasn’t that pushing it a bit too far? After that, she tried to forget.
Thinking about things like this wouldn’t bring any good, so she attempted to forget by looking at other things.
However, she couldn’t forget. No matter where she went, all she could think of was that it was a place she had shared with him.
Even the secret spaces were there with him.
At times, they became lovers without anyone knowing, and at other times, they became official lovers and garnered everyone’s envy.
The garden they had been in last time, or even the streets outside the Imperial Palace.
Everywhere she knew was intertwined with Robert.
Miragen couldn’t forget what she thought was a delusion. It came to her even if she didn’t want it to.
Even just the memories of being lovers were numerous, and seeing Robert die without being able to do anything was similar.
“I’ve always been curious about something. Why did you seduce me?”
“Well, seduce? I’m not sure.”
“When we first met in the Imperial Palace, you did it on purpose, right? Meeting in an empty garden, it looked like you knew I would come there.”
Originally, they wouldn’t have encountered each other.
At first, they wouldn’t meet, but after that, Robert always seemed to know everything and came looking for her.
It wasn’t like that at first. But thereafter, again and again, they could always meet in the same place.
I could meet Robert.
Could it be a coincidence?
Or is it a connection like magic, always leading us to each other?
The more I thought about it, the more my head started to hurt. The thought of calling Robert didn’t easily come to mind.
It was too complicated. The tangled thoughts stretched on for too long to simply be a delusion.
There were times when the same words were spoken, in the same place, but with different meanings.
But there was always one constant. That was how Robert would always smile when he looked at me.
From the first time we met, to when we parted. Even when we met again, and when Robert himself faced death.
Whenever our eyes met, he would always give a soft smile.
So I thought it must be a delusion, but if this is really a memory, what does that mean?
“…When was the last time we saw each other?”
Robert doesn’t smile much.
He smiled a few times when looking at me, but he didn’t smile as often as I remembered. Was it because we were lovers that he smiled like that?
I don’t know.
I couldn’t distinguish what was real and what was a delusion.
What I had been holding onto was long since sprawled out on the table.
I couldn’t concentrate at all. The moment I tried to do something, all that came to mind were memories with Robert.
While sitting here, a plate with tea was placed down.
When I lifted my head for a moment, I saw Robert sitting on a chair, looking at me.
-Why are you looking at me like that?
-I’m just looking.
There was no particular reason. There were times when simply making eye contact was enough to feel good.
It’s a shame that it’s not like that now, but still, there was something I wanted to ask once.
If these delusions—perhaps they really are memories—were true, and Robert knew about them.
How were you looking at me? Out of affection or sorrow?
I thought it was time to ask about that unnamed emotion that mixed in with his gaze when he looked at me.
Spring had passed, and summer was slowly changing, but I had never felt this anxious in my life.
With a small sigh, Miragen quietly took out the artifact from her bosom.
If she hadn’t given it to him the first time they met, she would have regretted it for life.
It was the only passage that connected her to Robert, who had no other points of contact. After a moment of contemplation, Miragen infused it with magic and attempted to reach out.
-I was just looking at you because you were pretty.
“Robert?”
Miragen hoped this was just her own delusion.
If this was a memory, it meant that even the sad expression Robert had was the truth.
She couldn’t forget the look on Robert’s face as he held her while she was bleeding on that rainy day.
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