[Attention all Kayaks who won the fan meeting lottery, a guide on how to wash up before the event]
1. Wet your hair thoroughly down to the scalp.
2. Squeeze an amount of shampoo the size of a 100-won coin onto your head and scrub away. Make sure the foam covers every nook and cranny of your scalp.
3. Do the same with body wash; squeeze out an appropriate amount and scrub your wet body all over. Pay special attention to hidden areas like armpits, groin, elbows, back of the knees, and behind the ears. Most body odors come from these spots.
4. Squeeze out toothpaste and brush your teeth. Don’t forget to brush your tongue! But if you’re a Kayak who usually skips brushing, even brushing might not eliminate bad breath. In that case, chew gum or something to freshen up before you go.
5. Trim any visible nasal hair or nails—you need to look clean! If you don’t tidy up, the broadcaster might realize their fans are a bunch of dirty folks and lose interest in the content.
…
I hope you follow these steps well and don’t grimace in the fan meeting venue. Being ugly isn’t a sin, but being dirty is, for sure.
– Do I really have to explain how to wash up?
– LOL, this pops up every now and then!
– Is this a template?
– Even if Kayaks are dropouts, unemployed, introverted losers, you think they wouldn’t wash?
– There are actually a lot of kids who don’t wash…
– It always comes up during offline events.
– You’d think it wouldn’t be that common? Surprisingly, it is.
– At the last offline goods event, there were definitely smelly kids; you could just tell by looking, but I had to stand close in line—almost died from the pain.
– I’ll ignore the ones I can, but if even one person washes up after reading this, that’s enough for me.
– I kinda want to see someone go unwashed and get scorned by the broadcaster…
– ?
– What’s your deal?
– What did the Kayak do to deserve this?
– It does make you want to look down on them; these days the broadcaster isn’t scornful, just smiling and being all cute instead.
– Honestly, Kayaks should just… disappear.
“Oh, damn, what filthy people.”
The man muttered quietly while looking at his phone.
He was steadily walking, eyes glued to the screen, heading to an art hall in Seoul.
He’d lived a life entirely disconnected from art halls, theaters, and domes. He thought it would always be that way. But there he was, heading to meet someone, attending a fan meeting. Truly, the saying that you can’t predict life even a moment ahead was spot on.
That’s right.
“When did you start watching the broadcast?”
“Oh, I was originally watching Nicang’s broadcast…”
“I hadn’t watched streams at all. I only knew about V-tubing, and I didn’t really know about live streaming platforms, but then I saw you on Midnight Talk and…”
In front of the fan meeting venue, there were already crowds of people. Most were young, a mix of both men and women. Among the throng, you could spot a few foreigners and a couple of high-value uncle fans.
People gathered in small groups chatting. From the sounds of their voices, it seemed they were sharing how they discovered Kayak.
‘Should I just wait here?’
He wasn’t interested in the private camaraderie among the viewers.
What was his purpose for coming here again? Wasn’t it to meet his only idol, Kayak? The man sat quietly in a corner, waiting silently for Kayak to arrive.
It wasn’t that he didn’t interact with others or felt burdened by conversing with people.
“When will Kayak arrive?”
“I’m so excited, right?”
“I wasn’t feeling it until the ticketing day.”
The chatter and external noise were always quite annoying to him. The man frowned slightly. For someone as sensitive as him, such public activities were a considerable burden.
‘When is it going to start?’
The wait was longer than expected. The announcement said the fan meeting would start at 2 PM, but it was already past 2:20 PM. The preparation time was extending. Perhaps something had happened.
As he felt cornered by the crowds and the wait, he briefly wondered if he had made a mistake coming here.
“Alright, everyone, please go in! Show me your ticket on your phone and come in one by one!”
The tightly shut doors of the art hall opened, and a well-dressed man shouted.
His face looked familiar. He seemed to be one of Kayak’s editors, guiding and directing people. Personally, he was one of the most envied people by the man.
“Wow, look at the decorations.”
“Looks like they’re covered in merch.”
“These are all things I have at home.”
Just as he entered, people began filing in one by one, filling up all the seats.
“Hello, everyone….”
Kayak appeared on stage with a slightly flushed face.
“Oh, wow. Insane.”
“Kayak! Kayak! Kayak! Kayak! Kayak! Kayak!”
“Please look over here!”
“Please watch!”
“I really need to break my home cam… How can a person be more…”
Gasps of admiration burst out among the crowd.
The man was no different. He didn’t voice his amazement, but he slowly sat down with a blank expression.
The thought that it was a mistake to come had long vanished.
*
This wasn’t the first time meeting fans in person.
Whether it was when I went to G-Star for cosplay or visiting a goods shop, I had met people who claimed to be my fans.
Because of that, I thought I was well-acquainted with this type of fan meeting.
“How do you like today’s outfit…? It was chosen by our editor, but I usually don’t wear clothes like this, so I feel really awkward….”
“You look pretty!”
“Dance for us!”
Leading conversations in front of people under the pretense of a fan meeting was more awkward and difficult than I expected.
It was different from personal broadcasting. Those previous small fan meetings—where the main purpose wasn’t actually a fan meeting—were nothing compared to dealing with so many people all at once.
Was it 300 people? That was the number of attendees for the fan meeting.
Compared to personal broadcasts, it was a ridiculously small number, but nonetheless, the pressure was considerable.
I barely even realized what I was saying. I had a cue sheet prepared, but once I got on stage, my mind went blank.
Suddenly, I found myself at the fan signing phase. My time for speaking had ended. What did I even say?
“I, am totally, a fan. It’s an honor to meet you.”
“Oh, yes. What’s your name?”
I clung to my dazed thoughts and started a conversation with the fan. The first person to sit down was a foreigner with blonde hair and blue eyes.
“I’m Christina. Feel free to call me Kristin. It’s a nickname.”
“Kristin. That’s a pretty name.”
I handed her the signed paper while she stared at my face intently. She accepted it and then extended one hand towards me.
What, a handshake? I reached out my hand without any particular wariness.
“I respect you, Kayak. You, my goddess.”
With those words, Kristin lightly touched her lips to the back of my hand. At that moment, a shrill scream erupted.
“Eek!”
“No, no. What are you doing…?”
“I wanna do it too!”
A woman lets out a loud scream, a man with a bewildered expression, and Yusia dashing over here in a hurry.
“This is a problem!”
“That’s sexual harassment! Boss, are you okay?”
Kim Jae-jun pries Christine off while Yusia looks at me with worry.
“Oh, yes… um…”
I was a bit flustered, but I wasn’t upset. Christine didn’t exactly rub her lips all over my hand; it was more of a brief tap.
Maybe my sexual orientation is just a bit different from the average person’s.
“Alright, just a moment. There was a little commotion. I’m okay.”
Yusia still seemed concerned about me. She even said she’d stop the fan meeting if needed, but I really didn’t want that.
I mean, we worked hard to schedule this. I couldn’t mess with 300 people’s schedules for no reason.
The autograph session resumed. Maybe because of the earlier commotion, there was a slightly tense atmosphere, but I forced myself to lighten it up.
“From now on, you should only like me, okay?”
“Um… yes…”
When I held her hand and smiled brightly, the man’s face turned silly. Amidst this, I could hear jeers from the back.
Well, at least a handshake could ease the atmosphere a bit.
So I was going through one autograph after another.
“Hello.”
“Yes, hello. What’s your name?”
A woman with dark hair like ebony stood before me, looking somewhat familiar.
After the initial greeting, she fell silent. Even when I asked for her name, she just stared at me intently.
“I’m Iyeonsu.”
Slowly, she opened her mouth.
“….”
Hearing that name, I momentarily lost my words.
Just like her earlier, I stared slowly at the person before me.
“Still the same, Mun Ah…”
The woman looked at me as if she missed something.
I too whispered that name slowly.
“Iyeonsu.”
My first love, my ex-girlfriend, came to the fan meeting.
Support me by donating at least $10, and you'll have the right to request any novel from Novelpia (excluding 19+ content) using a newly developed tool.
