I wasn’t born with such a lively personality, you know.
Quiet and obedient, that’s what they used to say. If I borrow my late mother’s words, that was me.
From a young age, I hardly cried or laughed. I would just sit still or read books, which left the other kids, who were busy playing and giggling, quite taken aback.
A person’s innate nature doesn’t change without a special trigger, so I grew up to be quite a dry and unexciting individual despite the passing years.
I managed to maintain a thin thread of human relationships. Family and a few friends. My voice would occasionally rise and I would laugh more often in front of them.
But that was before everything went haywire.
Looking back, I wonder if that’s when I started locking myself away in my room and just gaming.
I quit school and my part-time job, choosing to sever ties with the outside world. I was like a death-row inmate huddled in the corner, waiting for the day I’d kick the bucket, surviving on insurance money for days on end.
I vaguely felt like I was rotting away during that time.
Meeting Camilla in the Abyss was a twist of fate.
Ironically, I got totally absorbed in a game I’d never played before.
What made me dive into that frivolous pastime, which I had previously dismissed as a waste of time?
At least when I was gaming, I didn’t have to think at all. I would lose myself completely, and before I knew it, the sun would set, and I’d be so exhausted that my eyes would close.
By the time I snapped back to reality, I had become a ranked player in the game. After more than two years of that lifestyle, it seemed natural.
One inexplicable thing was that while I had completely cut off my connections to the outside world, I still started broadcasting, driven by people’s support.
Though it was just gameplay with no mic or camera, for me at that time, it felt like a giant leap.
In conclusion, it meant that I was a person who pretended not to be lonely while still craving connection. I had chosen solitude myself, yet paradoxically, once alone, I attempted to reach out to the outside world, even indirectly.
The essence of a person doesn’t change. Because of that, even with a new body, my personality had remained largely the same.
Why am I suddenly reminiscing about the past? Why am I lost in thoughts about my character out of nowhere?
It must be because of the appointment I have tonight.
I glance at my phone. Messages I hadn’t checked until now catch my eye. Among them, Riri’s message stands out.
She wrote, “I hope you can come, even if just for a bit.”
Then there’s a long explanation below, worried that she might have put any pressure on me. As I read that quietly, I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.
As I quietly read that, a giggle accidentally slipped out.
This, too, is Riri’s nature. Someone who loves people while being afraid of bad reactions from others—a good human being.
Honestly, there was no reason not to go. Hadn’t I vowed to live differently after my body changed? I had been forcing myself to go out more often. There was no one on the team who was particularly hesitant, and it was pretty obvious that everyone was subtly hoping I would join, so I thought it would be right to attend.
Yet the reason I hesitated was surprisingly more about how I looked than how I felt on the inside.
“….”
I looked at the slightly stained mirror. There stood a silver-haired woman, someone I had somewhat adapted to, yet I still felt awkward seeing her sometimes.
Even when I was determined to meet the editors or now go out for the team dinner, I found myself worrying about what others would think of my appearance, like a teenage kid going through puberty.
Well, I mean, it makes sense, right? With this appearance, I couldn’t just go on without any hesitation like before.
While my heart remained the same, the way I acted, how I dressed, and so many other things had changed.
Meeting the editors at least had the excuse of being a public meeting. But this time, it could definitely be considered a purely private one.
Transforming into Camilla’s body, with her face, and meeting people for the first time to build connections.
This was just as nerve-wracking as when I turned on the first broadcast. Well, I had already committed to going, so there was no backing out now.
A somewhat impulsive decision, but looking back, it felt like the right one.
I needed to adapt to this body and this face. This meeting could be seen as part of that adaptation process, too.
[Han Kang: I’ve reserved a nice restaurant ^^]
[LimeTack: Wow! A restaurant! Wow! Steak! Lobster! Wine!]
… I was kind of craving steak, to be honest. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I hadn’t had steak even once until now.
It was due to tough circumstances. Expecting to have such food while being cooped up at home day after day would be considered a luxury, right?
Han Kang said he’d treat us to a restaurant he knows well, claiming it was his little secret.
Recently, I had unexpected expenses because I had been encouraging Haim in her room.
While my living expenses, including food, were manageable thanks to my broadcast work, a full-course meal from a restaurant felt a bit extravagant, something I couldn’t afford at the moment, so I was a little tempted.
Thinking like this made me feel a bit insulted as if I was being lured in by food.
But Camilla does eat more than the average woman. Wouldn’t it be better to feed her something that was both healthy and tasty?
“Are you not going?”
Even if I’m not the same as before, Camilla is precious to me now, so yes. I just want to dress up our Camilla in pretty clothes and feed her delicious food.
For those complex reasons, I headed outside, donning one of the outfits I bought a while ago.
*
“Wow! A course meal! Wow! Wow wow! There’s Hanwoo! Beef! Lobster!”
“…Are you seriously repeating the same thing over and over?”
A cheerful and lively man and a woman beside him with a wry smile.
Riri, who was observing them, thought it didn’t stray too far from her expectations.
Riri, being somewhat timid compared to average streamers, took a deep breath and approached them.
“Hello…! LimeTack, Hakchu, right? I’m Riri.”
“Wow! Riri! Hello!”
“…So cute! Our little Riri came early, huh?”
“Hehe….”
Hakchu, with wide eyes, squealed. As she held Riri’s hand and patted her head for a moment, LimeTack, who was scanning the surroundings with high energy, asked.
“We met just up ahead, but are we the last ones? Are the others already here?”
“No, no, you two are actually early. Han Kang just went to the bathroom after booking the room, and the others are on their way.”
It was originally called streamer time.
It was a nickname given because many streamers tend to show up late when they make plans together. So, I didn’t expect many to arrive on time.
But over half had already arrived at their designated time. Riri nodded in her mind, glad she came out early, as it took her quite a while to get there.
“They’re inside…! The others will be here soon.”
“Okay.”
It was a quiet yet luxurious-looking restaurant. Just looking at its exterior, it looked expensive.
As the two entered the room following Riri’s lead, a faint admiration escaped their lips. It was understandable. Riri had also been awestruck the first time she followed Han Kang into a restaurant and entered the room.
Han Kang, who boasted a subscriber count comparable to Taker, known as the king of TWITCH VTubers, had booked such a grand restaurant exclusively — that gave a sense of how wealthy he was.
“Han Kang is the best.”
“I’m so curious about how much this will cost.”
The two couldn’t hold back their admiration as they sat down, and while Hakchu was busy taking pictures, perhaps for her social media, she remarked.
“So, it’s just the three of us and Han Kang. Are Cheonhun and Kayak left?”
“Me?”
“Cheonhun sent a message 5 minutes ago. Seems like they’re almost here?”
“Any separate contact from Kayak?”
“Ah, I got a message from her earlier.”
Riri thought back to the personal message that arrived about an hour ago.
[Kayak: The weather is nice.]
It was quite an unexpected message. Still, Riri was happy that Kayak had personally messaged her instead of sending it to the group chat.
So, even in response to such a random comment, she eagerly replied, “Yes, um, right! The weather is nice! Totally autumn weather!”
Since then, there had been no contact. Judging by the fact that Kayak hadn’t even read Riri’s previous message asking her to let them know when she arrived nearby 30 minutes ago, it seemed she might not be looking at her phone.
“Well, she said she was coming, so I guess we’ll just wait.”
“In fact, we gathered quickly; when other streamers meet, they’re always 30 minutes to an hour late, you know.”
Everyone nodded in agreement, and just then, Han Kang returned from the bathroom as they were all deciding on the course meal based on Han Kang’s explanation.
“So, to summarize, Course A has a lot of meat, and Course B has a lot of seafood, right?”
“Well, it gets more detailed, but… yeah.”
“Ordering separate courses would be a no-go, right? Then, by majority vote—”
– Knock, knock.
“Oh, must be Cheonhun arriving.”
“Why knock? Just come in!”
“Wow, you arrived faster than I thought…”
As Riri went towards the door to greet the visitor, she froze.
Standing in the doorway wasn’t the familiar face of Cheonhun but rather an unfamiliar woman.
A woman with an impression that seemed like she could pull you in. Glossy silver hair and sparkling blue eyes.
Her white skin and hair seemed to reflect the snow, and her gaze directed at Riri, fluttering with fatigue.
Riri was at a loss for words.
‘A woman? Teacher? No, maybe a foreigner who found the wrong room?’
“Uh, um. Sorry… this room is all—”
The woman’s piercing gaze focused squarely on her. Riri finally understood the situation and began explaining with her less-than-stellar English skills.
However, to her bewilderment, the words flowing from the woman’s lips were in the familiar Korean language.
“Hello.”
“It’s… um…?”
At that moment, the woman’s previously expressionless face lit up, her cold gaze transforming into a smile.
“I’m here, Riri!”
Riri was once again lost for words as the woman casually waved her phone, looking carefree.
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