Even though I got scolded by my colleagues in the office, I really got a proper telling-off.
Honestly, I didn’t think it was scolding-worthy.
Dolores and Midori were both like, “Why are you hiding this? It’s something to celebrate, not to hide!” and they scolded me like crazy.
Of course, I had my reasons… but the fact that I was pregnant was definitely something to celebrate; it would be weirder if it weren’t.
That said, I couldn’t exactly talk to the Commander about it either.
Anyway, we talked about it.
I was thankful they cared more than I expected.
“…Haha.”
After work, I lay alone in my room, staring at the ceiling.
I thought it was better to lie down than sit up, especially since my body felt a bit tired.
“I don’t even know the Commander’s name… Sigh…”
Honestly, I felt a bit disappointed in myself more than worrying about the Commander, and I felt worse for him.
To be honest, the Commander wasn’t a bad person; he was actually one of the best.
I felt genuinely sorry for even worrying about whether he liked me or not.
“I’m improving, but… I’m still the same.”
I didn’t know his name.
Sure, I was getting better than before, but… I still didn’t know.
I wanted to call the name of the person I liked, but I couldn’t.
I have a baby in my belly but…
“…Was I always this emotional?”
I thought to myself, yet I was having thoughts that were so different from usual.
If it were the usual me, I would have just sighed and talked to the Commander, but now I found myself mumbling alone…
“…Is it because I’m pregnant…?”
It sounds somewhat plausible.
Of course, it was a bit weird that just getting pregnant would make me emotional.
For some reason, I didn’t really know why I felt this way…
“…What will happen if the baby is born, and I don’t even know the dad’s name…?”
…Such worries kept surfacing.
-Beep!
“…?”
Suddenly, the door to my personal room opened.
The only person who had the password was… the Commander.
“Linda.”
“Commander…?”
So it was naturally the Commander who entered.
Of course, I could only expect the Commander to come in, but I was honestly a bit surprised that he came in while I was lying down, resting and thinking.
“Are you really tired?”
“Ah, that’s…”
“You’ve looked tired for days now. Uh… did I come at a bad time?”
“…….”
The Commander entered my room wearing a hoodie like he usually does.
He really seemed… to think I was just a bit tired.
At least, it didn’t seem like he knew how I really felt.
It didn’t seem that Dolores and Midori had told him, so maybe that’s a good thing…
“Are you really tired?”
“…No, I’m fine.”
The Commander sat on one side of my bed.
I was still lying down.
He looked at me with a smile while sitting up.
“Are you maybe on your period? But…”
“It’s not my period. It’s not even that time.”
“That’s true. Is there something wrong? Did the agents do something weird?”
“Could it be? The agents aren’t bad people.”
“That’s true. They might be a bit quirky, but they’re not bad at all.”
The moment the Commander came into the room, I felt a bit… more at ease than when I was alone.
Maybe it’s because he’s so handsome.
The source of my worries was the Commander, yet seeing him put me at ease… it was amusing in many ways.
“…Yes, they are all good people.”
“See?”
“…Yes.”
I was just lying there, looking up at the Commander.
He simply continued to smile and speak to me just like he always did.
“You look really tired. But it’s not anything serious, right?”
“I told you I’m fine. And why do you keep touching my hair…?”
The Commander was gently messing with my hair as if he was worried about me.
Is it really that fun to play with someone’s hair?
I don’t know.
Anyway, I just let him keep doing that while lying down.
It felt comfortable and nice this way.
“Um… Linda. Just in case, if you really have worries… it might be good to tell me. I might be a little unreliable, but… we’re on the same side, right?”
“………”
“Well, if you don’t have any worries, that’s the best outcome.”
“Is that so…”
The Commander’s words were still kind.
They made what I was worrying about seem trivial.
“Commander… how have you been lately?”
“Me?”
“Yes. I’m just curious. It’s been about a year since we met, right? Even though it’s already passed… I’m curious.”
It had been a little while since we had met aside from dating.
We ended up getting closer than I expected, and I found myself liking him even more.
So I just wanted to hear the Commander’s thoughts.
“Um… lately… it’s just been good.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, nothing bad at all. Honestly, things have been great. I get to see you first thing in the morning, so how could things be bad?”
“……..”
Honestly, he was the kind of person that I couldn’t help but think of as wonderful.
I felt it was almost too good for me.
Besides being a bit too fond of games and having a tendency to sleep in, he really was… just so great.
Honestly, there must be prettier and better people than me out there, but I had many flaws that didn’t show on the surface…
“…Is that so.”
I didn’t want to slip into a gloomy train of thought.
When I was with the Commander, I didn’t want to have those kinds of thoughts, but for some reason, they just came to me.
The Commander was smiling at me and showing his affection while I was lost in my head.
“…Could you come a little closer?”
“Okay.”
I pulled him a bit closer.
Before I knew it, the Commander was right next to me.
I was just tugging at the part of his hoodie he was wearing.
Without asking anything, the Commander accepted this little whim of mine.
“…Commander, if… if something really important were to happen in life, what do you think you would do?”
“Isn’t that a bit vague?”
“…Is that so?”
I thought it was a pretty vague and broad question too.
But… it felt awkward to ask so directly.
I clearly told Dolores and Midori about it, but why couldn’t I say this one little thing to the Commander?
If the Commander were in my shoes… wouldn’t he have just easily said it?
Of course, the Commander was a man right now.
“Um… I don’t really know what that thing is, but if it were me, I wouldn’t run away from it.”
“…Is that so?”
“Yeah. The reason I became Commander happened by chance. I used to only work on ships like this or for subcontractors at headquarters, remember?”
“Yes.”
I already knew that.
I had seen the Commander’s resume before he did.
There was no way I couldn’t know his experience.
“Then… when an opening came up here, I just decided to give it a shot and ended up getting selected. At first, I wasn’t used to the job at all, and I had no idea what I was doing, but it all worked out, didn’t it?”
“…So?”
“I don’t know what might happen in the future, but I think I could manage it well. Sure, there might be some hiccups at first, and things might not fit perfectly, but I’m in my early twenties, so there’s still tons of time.”
“……..”
Somehow, the hand that was holding the Commander’s hoodie slipped down to his belly.
I was holding onto him with my arms now.
Before I knew it… I had done that.
…And then I sat up while the Commander was lying next to me.
“I always think this, but Commander… you really are an amazing person.”
“Suddenly?”
“…Even though on your days off you do nothing but play games, can’t drink properly, and wake me up every morning with those antics—it’s just ridiculous—but still, I think you’re really a good person.”
“Uh… thanks…?”
Maybe I was rambling too much or saying things that surprised him.
The Commander was showing a reaction like he didn’t understand why I was saying all this.
Yeah, it makes sense…
It couldn’t be helped.
I think that as I said it, too.
“…I think I’m really lucky to be so close to you, Commander.”
“…Is something bad going on? Did you suddenly get a terminal illness… or is it that you don’t like me, or…?”
“…It’s not like that at all. That can’t be true.”
I was just saying such thoughts that crossed my mind.
I simply said what came to my head.
“…Then why did you suddenly say that? Are you really okay? If something’s wrong, please just tell me…”
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?!”
“……..”
Without meaning to, I blurted that out mid-sentence.
I certainly didn’t plan to say it at such a weird moment.
I wanted to say it in a proper situation.
But I let those words slip out.
It was nothing short of letting something out.
I had been restless about telling the Commander this since finding out I was pregnant…
“…Is that true?”
“Uh…?”
“…It means that I’m having a baby with you.”
“…….”
I had been saying this while hiding behind the Commander, resting my head on his back.
So I couldn’t see the expression on his face.
During that moment, the Commander also didn’t say anything.
His silence made me a bit frightened.
Would he really… find it too sudden and not like it…?
…I hope not.
“…What do you think…?”
Since the Commander wasn’t speaking, I decided to ask him again.
If I didn’t hear a response, it felt like tears would just start flowing down my face.
“…Why are you only saying this now?”
“I’m sorry. I… um… was a bit scared…”
“Isn’t this a good thing? Why did you wait to say it?”
His bright voice.
It sounded like the Commander’s usual clear and honest tone.
“…Huh?”
“Of course, it’s a good thing. It’s sudden, but isn’t it natural?”
“……..”
“Are you really thinking I’d say something bad about being pregnant…?”
“…….”
“Linda?”
The Commander kept talking in front of me.
He tried to turn around to look at me, but I held onto him tightly from behind, preventing him from turning.
…I felt so foolish.
I knew that he wasn’t the kind of person to think that way, yet I let those thoughts creep in.
I felt incredibly sorry for that.
“…Hic.”
“Wait, are you crying?!”
I felt tears start to well up.
It was just overwhelming—grateful, sorry, and happy—all at the same time.
“Everything… is because of you, Commander…”
“Me?!”
“Honestly… hic…….”
“W-Wait! First, can you please stop crying?!”
The Commander tried to turn back again, but I held my ground, still hugging him from behind.
Tears flowing and my expression would probably be ugly.
I didn’t want to show him that side of me.
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