“…Sigh.”
I want to clock out.
That was the thought right in front of the Commander’s personal room.
Why on earth does the Vice Commander have to wake the Commander up in the morning?
I mean, the Commander is an adult; he should be able to get up on his own.
“…Guess I have to.”
No matter how the situation turned out, I was Lindera, and it made sense to perform my role faithfully for now.
My head was already starting to hurt, but I couldn’t avoid it.
Knock knock.
“…It’s Lindera. I will be entering…”
Even though I had said and done this countless times before, speaking felt unusually difficult today; it was probably not just my imagination.
With that, I knocked on the door and entered the personal room’s password.
Of course… I knew the password…
“…….”
Realizing it felt weird now was also strange. Up until now, I had gone in and out of the Commander’s room without a care.
“Time to get up… It’s morning.”
It was just a regular morning wake-up call for the Commander.
Yeah, there was absolutely no need to think of anything strange.
The memories of that day began to creep back, but there was no need to dwell on them.
Of course, that wasn’t something I could control.
But it was better than letting them continue to linger.
“Commander… please wake up.”
I tried to gently shake him awake.
Though I had done this many times, today felt especially odd for some reason.
“…Sigh.”
First, I guess I should get him out of his warm bed.
This was a method I often used, and I noticed the Commander hated the cold, so he would get up immediately if I took his blankets.
Seriously, he’s not a kid.
With that, I pulled the blanket forcefully towards me, and it came flying my way.
The blanket that had been covering the Commander was gone, leaving just the pillow and the Commander on the bed.
But seriously, if he sweats this much while sleeping, why does he wrap himself up so tightly?
“Are you a child or what…”
Since the Commander’s face was a bit sweaty, I decided to grab a tissue and wipe it off.
He would wash soon anyway… but I couldn’t just leave him sweating like this.
“……..”
His breathing was steady, and there was no response, so it seemed he was still fast asleep.
Just because I took the blanket, he wouldn’t wake up immediately… well, I decided to wipe his sweat first.
“…….”
Honestly, seeing him like this… he looked even more handsome.
Being so close… the scene from the other day…
“You’re awake…”
“…Ah.”
Did I take too long wiping his face?
Our eyes met as the Commander awoke.
Hmm.
I don’t know what he had been thinking until just a moment ago, but I was a bit surprised that our eyes met.
“…I was wiping off your sweat. You tend to sweat a lot while you sleep.”
“Did I…?”
“Yes. Well… I’ve wiped it for you a few times before. You always wash up afterward, but it must feel a bit uncomfortable…”
Why am I explaining this?
I did it a few times in the past.
Was it because it was different than usual that our eyes met?
“…Ssh, you should wash up.”
I unknowingly tried to let my eyes wander down to the Commander’s lower body but forced myself to say something.
It’s not like I wanted to look there, but it just happened.
What exactly was I thinking, turning my gaze to the Commander’s lower half?
I genuinely didn’t understand why I was so flustered… it was utterly baffling.
*
“…Midori.”
“Huh?”
“Um… I’m thinking of skipping lunch today. Please let everyone know.”
“Eh…?”
I said that to Midori while the Commander had stepped into the bathroom for a brief moment.
After all, we always had lunch together, so if he suddenly didn’t show up… everyone would think it was strange.
Since the Commander and I usually sat together during meals, facing this kind of situation today…
“I’m just a bit tired. I plan on taking a nap in the office during lunch…”
“Oh! Thank goodness!”
Fortunately, Midori understood quickly.
Well, it wasn’t a completely false story either.
In reality, I just planned to catch some z’s because my head was pounding from overthinking.
“But Lindera, are you feeling okay today?”
“Yes?”
“Um… you seem quieter than usual. Usually, you and the Commander are chatting away, but today you both are incredibly silent?”
Was I?
Hmm.
I wasn’t particularly surprised that I used to chat a lot.
I mean, even I knew I talked a lot with the Commander.
In fact, that was probably what made the current situation more difficult.
“Um… I’m just a bit tired, that’s all.”
“Is that so? Well, that’s a relief… umm…”
“What’s up?”
“Oh, it’s nothing!”
What’s with that?
I’m not sure what it was about, but she didn’t finish her sentence, so it probably isn’t that important.
*
“…What are you doing here?”
“And you are…?”
Damn.
I had a feeling something was seriously off.
Why on earth was the Commander in the office?
I honestly didn’t understand.
Why?
It was clearly lunchtime; why was he here…
I had just stepped out for a moment before napping, but when I returned, the Commander was still in the office.
“Are you not having lunch…?”
“…And you?”
“I’m thinking of napping since I’m tired…”
“…Me too.”
Why was everything just so off?
My head was really aching in various ways.
“…….”
“…….”
“I’ll be on the sofa. Feel free to rest.”
Saying that, I made my way to the sofa.
I was originally just going to take a nap in the chair… but I couldn’t help it.
The Commander just happened to be sitting next to me.
I felt like I wouldn’t be able to calm down, no matter what.
“Hah…”
Who would have thought nothing would go right.
Since the morning, I had been struggling because of the Commander, and now this situation had come up.
Why did we have to be on the same wavelength with this kind of stuff?
Luck had nothing to do with it, and I decided to close my eyes.
“…….”
This was driving me mad.
Was it because the Commander was in the office? I couldn’t focus on sleeping properly.
Even while working, I couldn’t concentrate, and I couldn’t help but keep worrying about the Commander.
“Damn…”
“…….”
Initially, I intended to quickly take a nap in the office, but at this rate, I felt I might just end up feeling more tired.
“…Commander.”
“…?”
Because of that, I got up from the sofa and headed to the Commander’s desk.
He was casually leaning back in his chair, looking much more comfortable than I was.
“Could we talk about what happened the other day…?”
“…Sure.”
“Uh…”
Taking a deep breath, I tried to think of what to say next.
Yes, that sounded like a good idea.
“Please don’t tell anyone about what happened that day.”
“…I know.”
“…Really.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“It’s not just about saying it… but somehow…”
I knew the Commander wasn’t the type to tell anyone, but I just couldn’t help but feel uneasy.
Maybe it was because it was such a touchy subject.
“If I do tell others, the Boss might catch wind of it and fire you.”
“…What?”
“Isn’t that possible? The Boss seems to care for you a lot… even more than I do, to be honest.”
“…….”
That was true, but I never expected to hear the Commander say he would fire me.
Of course, it wasn’t impossible to do.
If I brought something like this to the Boss, I might get fired in no time.
But that wasn’t what I wanted.
I just… well, I was thinking of keeping things at a reasonable level.
“Then! Just forget anything that happened that day!”
The Commander seemed to be more agreeable than I anticipated, and I blurted that out without thinking.
I certainly had tempted him first…
“That’s not going to work.”
“Wh-What do you mean by that?”
“…It’s just common sense that a healthy man wouldn’t just forget that.”
“I’m telling you to forget it!”
I know I can’t just erase the memory, but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t conscious.
The memories of that day kept surfacing in my mind, driving me insane, and the Commander had seen me in person, sober, face-to-face.
The only things I could see were the ceiling, the walls, the bed, and… the Commander. But what the Commander saw would really be a problem.
“I can’t just make it go away like that…”
“Somehow, forget it. Please…”
“…You did cuddle up to me that night.”
“That was…! I was drunk! There were absolutely no strange thoughts or anything else behind it…!”
I knew I was being a bit unreasonable.
But I had no other choice.
“I did something like that for the first time in my life… while drunk. Who wouldn’t find that strange?”
“First time…”
“…There was… blood on the bed as well.”
Blood.
Just bringing that thought up made my head start to hurt again.
“Look… we shouldn’t talk about responsibility or anything. It was a safe night anyway, and… I fully acknowledge it was my mistake…”
I even didn’t understand what I was saying.
It seemed I couldn’t organize my thoughts, and my words kept coming out all jumbled.
I wondered how the Commander was perceiving me right now.
I couldn’t easily figure it out, but I probably looked liked a mess.
“Lindera.”
“…Yes.”
“Come a bit closer.”
“…I’m coming closer.”
Suddenly, the Commander said that, and I moved a bit closer to him.
What was he planning on doing?
There’s no way he would suddenly attack me in the office.
Even if the Commander had been through a lot and experienced much, he shouldn’t be able to control his urges in a place like this.
That night had certainly been intense… but while he had had me thrusting against him, he had left me with an intense feeling…
“Yikes…”
“…Are you that surprised?”
“I-I’m sorry… I didn’t think you’d suddenly hold my hands…”
Suddenly, the Commander grabbed both of my hands while sitting.
What did he mean by that?
Was he planning to do something forceful while holding my hands down?
But this was the office…
“I understand your worries. Just like that night was your first, it was my first too… so I’ve got my concerns.”
“Uh, what?”
First?
“If anything goes wrong… I’ll take full responsibility. I won’t do anything strange, so you don’t have to too anxious.”
As he held my hands, the Commander looked into my eyes with a serious expression—this wasn’t his usual lazily annoyed tone, it was genuinely serious…
“Got it?”
“Y-Yes, I understand… but… um… can you let go of my hands first…”
He suddenly grabbing my hands was making my heart race even faster, and I wanted him to let go of my hands quickly.
I didn’t know what was going on, but it all just felt way too odd…
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