The clock pointed to around 6 PM, and we decided to have dinner at the food court in the department store, sitting across from each other at a table.
Leaning back in my chair as if I was about to collapse, I gazed at my older sister with half-dead eyes.
For some reason, I felt even more exhausted than when I was scouting around the store to buy clothes.
“Did I tease you too much? Our Uju seems totally drained.”
Looking at me, Seo-ha was just busy smiling away.
This felt like déjà vu from earlier.
“I never knew you could be this mischievous, noona.”
Actually, I did know, but it seemed to have escalated. She was playing pranks on me every ten minutes, leaving me dazed.
“I’m sorry. But it’s Uju’s fault! It’s human nature to want to tease someone who reacts so adorably.”
“Adorable… you say?”
My older sister was trying to shift the blame onto me, but what struck me wasn’t that; it was the fact that she called me adorable in front of a vigorous young man in his early twenties.
Even my overly doting older sister never called me cute.
At that moment, I genuinely started to worry about Seo-ha’s tastes.
“Of course you’re adorable! Where else in the world can you find such a naïve guy these days?”
“…I think I’m the only one you call naïve.”
However, my sister boldly nodded and uttered something even more perplexing.
Was I really naïve? Whenever I’m with Seo-ha, I end up learning things about myself that I didn’t know.
The problem was that these revelations only left me confused about my identity. Seo-ha seemed serious, which made it even more bewildering.
“No, it’s just that you don’t know yourself well enough. To me, you seem quite naïve. And that makes you adorable.”
“That’s flattering, but it feels weird to be pleased with being called adorable as a man.”
While skimming through the menu, I couldn’t help but smile wryly.
Of course, I didn’t think she was saying it in a bad way, but being a man, I couldn’t help but wish to hear I was cool or manly instead.
“Of course cool is the baseline. It just means that when you’re cool, you’re cool, and when you’re adorable, you’re adorable.”
It felt almost terrifying how she seemed to read my childish thoughts as well. With her chin resting on her hands and a wide smile, she continued.
“Seo-ha, can you read minds or something?”
“Hmm… only when it comes to Uju.”
“You sure know how to make a clever remark.”
She responded to my foolish question with a sweet retort without changing her expression, making me feel a fleeting sense of awe.
On one hand, I noticed I’d never said anything like that to her, so I thought maybe I should try to come up with some cheesy lines myself.
“That’s okay, Uju can stay just as you are. In fact, that worried look on your face makes you even more adorable.”
“…I think I’ll just give up trying to think about it.”
Now she seemed to read my mind naturally. It was so seamless that I wondered if I had spoken out loud.
Regardless, my sister kept gazing at me with her bright smile, swinging her legs. Her innocent smile made it hard for me to say anything more.
“Yes, guest. Would you like to place your order?”
So, in an effort to quickly eat something, I called over a nearby employee to order food.
“One Aglio Olio, one Shrimp Risotto…”
I ordered a few simple dishes and a drink.
As the employee wrote down the order and turned to leave, I suddenly remembered something and called her back.
“Oh, I’m sorry, but could you also add one Margherita Pizza, please? Just a bit less on the sauce.”
“Yes, understood.”
I distinctly remembered ordering like this when I first went to the Italian restaurant with Seo-ha.
“You seem quite hungry if you’re ordering pizza too.”
“No, this is actually enough… I just thought since you ordered this last time, maybe you liked it.”
“…Oh.”
It seemed like my sister didn’t even remember what she had ordered back then; her expression indicated she only recalled after I mentioned it.
Then, she gently let go of one hand resting on her chin and swept hers over my hand that was resting on the table, looking up at me with enchanting eyes as she whispered.
“This time, I got played by Uju.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“That’s what it means to get played. Thank you for caring.”
It was nothing special, yet being thanked made me feel oddly bashful.
Typically, my sister was the one giving, so when I did something small for her, her excessive gratitude left me uncertain on how to respond.
On the other hand, I felt grateful towards my sister for being thankful for even the tiniest gesture.
“Uju.”
“Yes, noona?”
“Can I come over there?”
“…Over here?”
While drinking some refreshing water, I almost spit it out at her unexpected request.
So she wanted to come to my side, huh?
Well, it wouldn’t be a problem, but just imagining her sitting next to me, my heart felt like it was going to explode.
Especially since the chairs were those sofa types common in restaurants, made for close seating, which only added to my anxiety. Should I sit a bit farther away?
“Sure, I’ll move over.”
“Really? Hehe.”
That didn’t mean I didn’t want to sit next to her, so I quickly shifted aside and patted the empty spot.
Seo-ha approached and sat down with a slightly silly laughter that was uncharacteristic of her. Luckily, the chair was big enough that there was still plenty of room between us.
What a relief. I was worried my sweat would make things awkward if we sat too close.
Suddenly…
Wait a minute, noona?
Why are you getting closer…?
Cling.
With no room to push her away, Seo-ha pressed her thigh against mine and placed my hand on her lap while looking up at me.
“It’s refreshing, so it’s nice being close, right?”
“Y-yeah, I suppose so.”
This must be what they call a trial. I’m not quite sure how challenging the trials Hercules faced were, but I doubt they could compare to what I was experiencing now.
I genuinely felt my blood run cold. Is she trying to kill me?
Slump.
“Ugh… I’m so tired. I guess it’s because I’ve been walking around for a while.”
And she didn’t stop there; she leaned her head against my shoulder with a delicate sigh.
The problem was, her body naturally pressed against my arm while resting her head, and the sensation I felt was akin to that huge thing I’d seen at the swimwear store, hitting me like an electric shock to my brain.
I couldn’t exactly push her away since she seemed tired, so I sat up straight like a newbie in a job interview, trying to keep my arms from wandering.
Looking up at me, Seo-ha smiled softly and spoke.
“Uju, actually, I wanted to ask you something today… Can I?”
“Yes, anything.”
To be honest, I didn’t particularly care what the question was. At this moment, all I wanted was for her to distance herself just a little so that I could maintain my sanity, but I couldn’t quite voice that wish.
“You mentioned when you were with Mr. Exit that you were bullied a lot as a child…”
“…That’s right.”
The question, which I thought would be a light topic, turned serious quickly, but I didn’t mind much.
Even if it was a memory I wanted to forget, I figured it was reasonable for her to ask about it, and I was mentally prepared for that.
“If those people came to apologize and regretted it now, what would you think?”
“They’d be regretting it?”
“Yeah, approaching you and kneeling, saying they were sorry for what happened. Would you want to forgive them?”
“…That’s tough.”
I wasn’t sure what her motive was behind the question, but it certainly was a thought-provoking topic.
If someone were to ask if the hatred from my childhood still lingered, I’d say not really. Emotions tend to fade over time, and that applies to hatred as well.
But if you asked whether I wanted to forgive those people, that’s a different story.
I believe that forgiveness essentially means erasing what happened. The moment forgiveness is established, the negative experiences shared are completely wiped away, returning both parties to a state of zero, which is my philosophy.
For some reason, it was hard to say that I could simply forget everything that happened back then and say I was happy now.
“Can I speak honestly?”
“Of course. Feel free to be as honest as you like.”
Glancing at my older sister, who was nodding seriously, I scratched my cheek awkwardly.
Someone might say I’m petty over something that happened in my childhood, but my true feelings right now are as follows.
“To be honest, I don’t want to forgive them. I want to take my revenge double-fold for what they did to me.”
“…Really?”
“Yeah, I guess I’m human after all.”
I had hoped to say something cool in front of my sister, but now I’m worried I’ve revealed my petty side instead.
However, my sister seemed genuinely pleased that I spoke so truthfully, tightening her grip on my hand and nodding.
“I see, I understand. Thank you for being honest. You must be hungry now, shall we eat?”
“We should.”
So we left an empty chair across from us and sat side by side, finishing the meal as the food arrived.
Afterwards, I would have liked to hang out a bit longer before parting, but my sister suddenly mentioned she had something urgent to attend to, and I had no choice but to let her go, feeling a bit disappointed.
But at least I knew it had been a very enjoyable time.
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