As the conversation progressed, Seo-ha suddenly asked me if she could take a quick look around my house.
It wasn’t exactly a big house worth showing off, but I had no reason not to, so I nodded happily.
Then, like a kid, she bounced from her seat with joy, and it seemed like she had been waiting for this moment to start her exploration of our house.
“Is this the study?”
The first place she entered was, unsurprisingly, the small room.
Calling it a “small room” was a bit awkward, though, since the house was so cramped that the size difference between the big and small rooms wasn’t that significant. The larger room was used as both a bedroom and workspace.
“It feels a bit grand to call it a study; I just kind of use it as a storage room. I needed a space to hold my books and stuff.”
“Uju, it seems like you enjoy reading.”
“I like it to a degree. But if you asked if I’m a voracious reader, I wouldn’t say that either.”
I generally read the works of authors I like when they come out, and when they don’t, I zone out looking at my phone. I completely gave up on self-help books.
“Oh, this is a book by my favorite author. I heard a new one came out, but I haven’t had the chance to read it yet.”
While looking through the bookshelf, she picked up a book that was also by my favorite author.
The author is fantastic at psychological descriptions that reveal people’s innermost feelings, and personally, I prefer stories that focus more on relationships than on events, which is why this author is my favorite.
But I didn’t expect that Seo-ha would also like this author. Maybe our tastes are surprisingly similar?
“If it’s okay, would you like to take it with you?”
Since I was happy to find someone who matched my taste for once, I readily asked as she tried to put the book back.
Seo-ha looked up at me with wide eyes.
“Really?”
“Yes, I’ve read it so much that I hardly read it anymore recently.”
I had kept it pretty neatly, so its condition was quite good too.
Of course, I was assuming that she didn’t like other people’s fingerprints on things.
“Thank you! Then I’ll enjoy reading it and come back to return it.”
“Wait? You can just keep it…”
Fortunately, she didn’t seem to care much about that and happily accepted my offer, albeit with the nuance that she was ‘borrowing’ it.
I was just trying to gift it to her as a memento of her visit, but it turned out that she was determined to return it, leaving me flustered as I waved my hands.
“No, no! I’ll borrow it! And I’ll definitely come back to return it.”
“Well… If it’s okay with you, I’m fine…”
However, Seo-ha firmly insisted with a playful whine again, and feeling awkward, I could only scratch my cheek and nod.
After all, it shouldn’t be a problem to just let her have one book. It seems like Seo-ha is surprisingly sensitive about strange things.
After exploring the small room, the next place to visit was the bedroom.
Unlike other rooms, I always kept this one clean and organized, so I didn’t feel too embarrassed showing it to Seo-ha like I might in other places.
“It’s smaller than I expected. It must be hard to work and sleep here.”
“That’s true. The chair and bed are almost touching…”
This was the first time Seo-ha had made such a direct comment about the small space, but it really didn’t bother me.
Rather than feeling disappointed that the room was small, her reaction seemed to stem from surprise at how I worked and slept in the same spot.
“Are you considering moving to another place?”
“I’ve been thinking about it. But the contract is almost up, so I’m wondering if it’s better to just finish the lease.”
“When does the contract end?”
“Until June.”
At my words, Seo-ha nodded thoughtfully as if she were pondering something important. It sounded like she thought that moving might be a good idea.
“Oh, can I sit here?”
“Of course.”
“Eheh.”
Then she pointed to the chair I usually sit in while broadcasting, and after I happily accepted, she sat down with a goofy laugh that was so unlike her.
At that moment, watching her spin around in the chair while giggling brightly made me inadvertently smile.
She reminded me of my younger cousin when she came over to play. It showed just how excited she was.
“Somehow, it feels amazing. I can’t believe I’m in the workspace of my favorite streamer.”
“Since you’re so excited, I feel a bit embarrassed.”
“You don’t need to be embarrassed. Uju, you’re the greatest star to me.”
That straightforward remark was what made her feel embarrassed, but this girl reveals her true feelings like a bulldozer.
But if you asked me if I disliked that, of course not. In fact, I was overly grateful for it. It was just that I felt sad that I couldn’t quite match the expectations of my own worth.
“By the way, how was your stream yesterday? Were you really nervous?”
“Well, of course. I was so nervous that I couldn’t even eat properly before the broadcast.”
I had tried to eat some cereal, but I had put it in milk and hadn’t even managed to finish half of it. On top of that, I had to take digestive medicine because I couldn’t digest it properly.
That was probably one of the most nerve-wracking moments of my life.
“Uju.”
“Yes, Seo-ha.”
As I was lost in thought recalling yesterday’s memories, her voice suddenly caught my attention.
When I turned my head, there was Seo-ha sitting in the chair, looking up at me with eyes that seemed to mix yellow and brown perfectly.
It felt like she could see right through my soul, and I couldn’t help but think that.
“Can I ask you something? It might be a bit sensitive…”
“What is it?”
I generally answer all questions, but seeing her expression looking serious made me decide to listen first.
In truth, I might have had some idea of what she was getting at by this point. That’s why I wasn’t too surprised when the next question came.
“Did something bad happen in the past? I remember you saying it was hard for you to interact with people yesterday.”
“Aren’t there a lot of people who struggle with interacting?”
“That’s true. But I thought you might have a particular reason for it.”
Well, if I hadn’t noticed it after that reaction, that would have been weirder. If someone were struggling to the point of giving up on a prestigious university, it would be beyond just being introverted.
As our eyes met for a moment, I briefly made eye contact with Seo-ha and then looked down, trying to avoid her gaze.
It wasn’t that I found it difficult to face her. It was just that whenever I tried to recall that memory, this reaction naturally came out.
As if I were struggling to face that vivid scene still imprinted in my mind.
“It’s, well…”
Still, I gathered all my strength to somehow recall that memory and tried to speak. After all, I thought it was only fair to tell the truth to the first fan I ever met who cared for me so much.
But I couldn’t finish that thought.
Suddenly, something warm wrapped around my entire body.
“…I’m sorry. I think I asked something unnecessary.”
When I realized what it was, it was when Seo-ha’s soft voice drifted close to my ear.
When I realized that the body I was hugging was Seo-ha’s, under usual circumstances, I would have pulled away as if I had been burned.
But strangely, I didn’t feel that way today. It wasn’t just because the warmth felt nice, nor was it just because I liked hearing her voice close by.
I just wanted to be like this for some reason. Maybe it was because it had been a long time since I shared such warmth with someone who wasn’t family.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to share your struggles. I just thought that if you saw it as something that happened in the past, you could tell me.”
“Because sharing pain halves it, right?” she added while releasing her arms from around me and stepping back a bit.
“And when I think about it, it seems unfair if I’m the only one listening. Other viewers would probably want to hear what you have inside as well.”
“Do you think they’d want to hear it? I don’t really have any profound or good stories…”
I was skeptical if the viewers who came to my room for enjoyment really wanted to hear something like that.
“Of course! If you gain the courage one day, please share it with us. Everyone will be truly grateful for it, for trusting them and sharing your feelings.”
“I hope so.”
People tend to hesitate to reveal their weaknesses.
But conversely, if there’s someone who can accept and understand those struggles, it would be an incredible joy.
I’m also hoping for that day to come, in a way.
“Oh, but I really hope you tell me first. It might be a little selfish, but…”
“Why’s that?”
I knew this question might sound silly, but I asked it reflexively because I was genuinely curious.
Seo-ha took a step closer to me, and with a smile that suggested she understood, she turned quickly, poking her tongue out at me playfully.
“You’ll find out when that day comes. Until then, please get to know me better too.”
“…”
With her comment sounding almost like a confession, I could only gape in silence.
After all, our relationship might just be a little more special than the usual fan and streamer dynamic.
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