“Again.”
“Again.”
“Again.”
How many times, or rather, how many dozens of times had I repeated those words?
As I staggered to straighten my battered body, waiting for Stella’s usual onslaught, I was met with silence for the first time.
“What’s taking so long?”
“How about we call it a day?”
“No way. I can do more.”
“Perhaps you should consider the state of the Progenitor.”
Only then did I glance down at myself.
My entire body was drenched in red. No, it wasn’t just red; I was practically a walking blood bag.
With a splatter that seemed perfectly timed, crimson liquid dripped from my torn lower right abdomen. Its consistency suggested it was mixed with my mangled insides, making it rather thicker than regular blood.
My left elbow felt slightly creaky.
In a pristine condition, such a wound would heal in the blink of an eye.
Yet, the bloodstains soaking my surroundings and the sickly sweet stench confirmed that my regenerative ability had already done its job.
“It’s becoming dangerous. You’re already at your limit, aren’t you?”
Limit…
Yeah, I know I’m starting to get dangerous.
I wasn’t the same as back in the days when I didn’t know how to use my body.
Now, I had rolled this body countless times, and I could tell just by clenching my fist how well my regeneration was functioning.
Stella’s prescription was indeed spot on.
Surely it would be best to rest today. But the word “limit” spurred me on.
“This isn’t enough… I can’t get strong like this.”
Stella narrowed her eyes slightly, questioning my urgency.
“Why the rush?”
“…Just because. It has to be done.”
Stella’s expression made it clear she genuinely couldn’t understand.
Did she think I was anxious due to a lack of certainty about the future? After a moment’s contemplation, Stella spoke more gently than usual.
“You’ll get strong soon enough, Progenitor. Haven’t you felt it? That your growth has been gaining momentum lately?”
True. She wasn’t wrong there.
In fact, aside from the very beginning, when I was barely a step above a regular human right after starting bloodsucking, I hadn’t really seen dramatic growth considering how much I’ve consumed.
Sure, part of it was because I lacked combat experience, but even setting that aside, it wasn’t great.
The only reason I was doing this well among the Progenitors was because I was an unusually exceptional glutton. If I could gorge myself and still have this little progression, I couldn’t exactly say my efficiency was good.
But definitely, as Stella put it, I had started to feel a surge in my growth recently.
I thought it was thanks to the intense practical experience I had accumulated in a short time, but Stella’s demeanor suggested there was more to it.
“The newly born Progenitor is very unstable. Lacking accumulated life force, you cannot draw out the True Blood’s power. Until you fill the bottom of that vast vessel, your growth will inevitably be slow. Once you repeatedly engage in bloodsucking, that moment will arrive when you are ‘ready,’ and the ability to use Blood Magic will be the evidence of your readiness.”
It was the first time I had heard this. So until now, I had been so busy trying to maintain basic functions that my life force had finally been able to stockpile a surplus.
Suddenly, Martini’s words about automatically learning to use Blood Magic at some point popped into my mind, and I nodded in agreement.
So this was what she meant.
I had thought it was just wishful thinking about the future, not that there was something this concrete behind it.
“It’s a realm only the first Progenitor reached. In theory, it could take several decades or longer, but you’ve already amassed enough life force. From now on, the life force you gather will no longer be used to establish your True Blood’s existence; it will solely become the Power of the Progenitor.”
I see. That means I can get stronger more swiftly now.
But should I be happy about that?
I had longed for strength—to survive against those trying to kill me, to snatch power before it could be taken away from me.
If that were all, then it would be right to feel happy. From now on, it meant I could gain power at a rate exceeding what I had done before with the same amount of blood.
But even now, I couldn’t purely feel joy. I had come to realize that as much as True Blood gives me strength, it also takes something away.
“That’s not enough.”
“Then why the rush?”
“Plona, almost devoured her.”
“That did happen.”
While Stella’s tone was still nonchalant, surprisingly, her gaze was serious.
To me, it was somewhat unexpected. She hadn’t stopped me when Plona almost died from my bloodsucking.
Whatever the reason, it wasn’t a bad omen.
Plona and Eleonora likely couldn’t turn their weapons against me. Thus, I needed Stella’s help now, and I was the one at a disadvantage.
I began articulating the thoughts I had mulled over many times since that day.
“That wasn’t my will.”
I flinched; my shoulder shuddered involuntarily.
Even now, the image of a dying Plona was seared into my eyelids.
I was determined to save her.
I acknowledged Plona’s devotion, and even though she was human, she had stepped within my bounds.
What almost led to Plona’s death was not my will but rather the overwhelming urge to feed.
“Gaining True Blood’s power means the instincts of a vampire will also intensify, right?”
“…It’s only natural for a vampire to drain human blood.”
I knew that much.
If it’s said that living according to one’s nature is only right, then what’s wrong with a vampire drinking blood?
But this wasn’t such a simple matter.
“I am a vampire. But that’s just one aspect of my existence. I decide and choose. If instincts negate even that will, I’d be no different than a beast.”
I had no intention of denying my identity of being part of a species now.
I wasn’t regaining a shallow conscience, nor did I want to spout nonsense about non-violence and peace.
I am undoubtedly a vampire. I might have lived as a human in my past life, but now I am a vampire, and I must continue living like this.
Drinking blood? It’s natural for a vampire.
But just as a human wouldn’t eat their own pet, even if I live as a vampire, I should be the one to decide whom I suck blood from.
“But back then, I couldn’t do that. I was overwhelmed by my instincts.”
Remembering when I tried to make Plona one of my followers sent another shudder down my spine.
The unforgettable ecstasy of that taste and the omnipotence wrapping around me.
That day, the instincts of a vampire devoured my will, and I nearly killed one of my precious friends.
All for the boring and mundane reason that blood was delicious.
“What if that happens again in the future?”
It ended up being a near-miss this time. But was there any guarantee it wouldn’t happen again?
I assertively believe there’s none. While there might be absolutely impossible scenarios, there’s no saying something can only happen once.
“Just look at Eleonora. She spends hours letting me drain her blood daily. What if I lose control and cross that line?”
“…If necessary, I could stop you.”
“Right. You could now. But what if, someday, you or even Martini become too strong, and I again cross that line?”
For the first time, Stella couldn’t respond to my words.
The very notion that I might surpass Stella or Martini might sound utterly ridiculous, but Stella couldn’t deny that possibility.
It was only natural. The Duchy had been hoping for a vampire’s hope, hadn’t they?
The so-called strongest vampire, Martini, and even Stella, whom elves shudder at hearing about, and the notoriously aggressive grand duke of Helraig—all these vampires had failed to accomplish what I could possibly achieve.
If the Duchy hadn’t considered my potential to surpass them, they wouldn’t have invested in me since the beginning, which is why Stella couldn’t deny that scenario.
If it’s as they wish, it’s something that could happen someday—no, it’s something that must happen.
“It’s not just about Eleonora. What if my bloodsucking instincts outweigh my judgment? What if I start seeing the vampires of the Sahelrn Duchy as competitors? Have you ever thought about such possibilities?”
In society, that would be labeled tyrannical.
To reign without rational judgment means that no one can stop you.
Moreover, in my case, I couldn’t derive comfort by comparing my appetite to that of ordinary vampires.
While other vampires may simply gorge themselves, once satisfied, I remain a born glutton, and the True Blood flowing through my veins will forever crave blood as a source of power rather than just sustenance.
That must not happen.
Even if this body is just a part of providence, the path I tread must be determined solely by my will, and the resulting burdens must be entirely mine.
Only by doing so can I seize the second life I genuinely desire.
If I were to settle living with instincts on a leash, it wouldn’t differ from a previous life trapped in a sickbed.
I wanted complete freedom.
“…To be honest.”
After a lengthy silence, Stella opened her mouth again. She hesitated, which was unusual for her.
“The Duchy was prepared for greater losses from the onset, and accidents stemming from excessive gluttony were within the realm of expectations. In fact, you seem more rational than the Duchy anticipated. Moreover, frankly speaking, even if your bloodsucking instincts were in play, there’s low probability you’d attack your kin.”
“Eleonora?”
“If the Progenitor wishes, I would attempt to stop you, but even if that were impossible… it wouldn’t matter since it’s not the Duchy’s prerogative.”
Her excessively blunt and honest response made me chuckle instead of getting angry.
In other words, no matter how deranged I became, she was suggesting I wouldn’t assault my own kind, and any other race could come at me however they pleased.
Well, considering the debt I owed the Duchy felt more like a pre-investment from the start, I couldn’t exactly be surprised.
It was much more unexpected that she would give such a candid response knowing how much I valued Eleonora.
“However, this was the case prior to meeting Lady Aria.”
Lady Aria, not the Progenitor.
Stella used a title she rarely employed, which made me turn to her.
“If Lady Aria truly fulfills the wishes of her people, I would also like to cater to her desires as best as I can.”
“Just you?”
“Judging Lady Aria’s potential is also a responsibility entrusted to me.”
For just a brief moment, a sort of smile crossed Stella’s lips.
…Oh boy. I didn’t see that coming.
I never thought I would hear such words from Stella. Is she really the same maid I knew?
My curiosity got the best of me, and as I stared at her in amazement, she seemed to realize she had said something out of character, visibly awkward as she turned her head away and changed the subject.
“More than anything, saying this to me means you have something in mind. Speak. What do you wish from me?”
Stella really was sharp.
I composed my expression seriously and asked her.
“You suggested we stop training today, right? What’s the reason?”
“As I mentioned earlier, you wouldn’t be able to recover beyond this point. You know you’re at your limit already, don’t you?”
“That’s correct. But that limit refers to a vampire’s limit, not mine.”
Stella’s mouth opened slightly before closing again.
She scrutinized me as if observing whether I had lost my mind.
“Make me strong. Strong enough to surpass even a vampire’s instincts.”
“…Are you speaking sincerely?”
“Yeah.”
After contemplating several times, I honestly didn’t have any groundbreaking methods.
There was no clear and satisfying way like the fairy tale happy endings in reality. My alternative was a remarkably simple and foolish approach.
I decided to focus on the most fundamental fact.
I am the Progenitor of Vampires, but that’s not my entire identity. The limits of my regeneration ultimately reflect the limits of my abilities as a vampire.
Instincts prioritize one’s own survival.
Once I reach a point where I can no longer regenerate parts of my body, I would prioritize replenishing my life force above everything else.
And if I can push my flesh to that brink yet continue beyond it, then it will unquestionably be my will.
“You understand this is an ungrounded ideology, right?”
“I know.”
But I have no other options.
“Your life is genuinely in danger.”
“Yeah, it is. I could die with a single misstep.”
It’s like climbing a mountain without safety gear.
This was my safety on the line, so I pondered many times, and I completely understood the risks involved. I also recognized the returns would be absurdly uncertain in comparison to the risks I was taking.
“You wished to live. At this point, you shouldn’t have to risk your life just to build your strength. Aren’t you afraid of death now?”
“I’m scared.”
“Then why?”
Stella’s eyes questioned me.
Although she hoped for me to grow stronger, if I should endanger myself through unnecessary extreme training, it would be an incalculable loss for the Duchy.
While the previous war might have forced me into such a desperate situation, now that I had time to spare, she must be puzzled why I would willingly choose a perilous path over a certain and secure one.
Indeed, I think it’s right.
I still fear death; just the thought of it makes me weak.
Yet, despite the risk, despite the irrationality, despite the foolishness of this approach that can’t guarantee a smooth resolution, there exists a reason I must try.
“Because now I have things I need to protect.”
The threats from the world toward me remain. The fact that I need strength to survive hasn’t changed.
Yet what’s the point of a weapon that harms its master?
In this life, I intend to live freely. And choosing who I spend my life with is also my freedom.
Eleonora, Plona, and Martini along with the vampires of the Duchy.
The possibility of harming those who have made me what I am today cannot be overlooked.
To avoid that, I must grow genuinely strong. Instead of relying solely on the power of True Blood that allows me to grow without limits, I must grow myself in handling it.
Stella gazed silently at me.
If she intended merely to nurture ‘the Progenitor required by the Duchy,’ there would be no need to align herself with my reckless plans when there was a safe way available.
I didn’t rush her but patiently awaited her decision.
After several minutes of waiting, a light of determination finally appeared in her gaze.
“I don’t know how much time will allow, but I will follow your will.”
The usual slackness vanished entirely from Stella as she elegantly straightened and bowed.
If I remember correctly, she had never shown such a demeanor to anyone other than Martini. I understood that it was her unique way of expressing her respect for someone who had chosen the difficult path of their own accord.
Thank you, Stella. I won’t let this be in vain.
Instead of speaking, I dashed toward Stella. My body felt heavy as lead and my throat parched, but my mind was clearer than ever.
From that day forward, I repeated life-and-death battles with Stella every single day.
Pushing beyond the limits allowed by my flesh and regeneration, I crawled on broken limbs, threw myself into the fray, and endured heart half-removed or severed neck incidents.
During this time, flowers bloomed and withered above ground several times.
A single wildflower blooming in the meadow weathered storms and blizzards while firmly putting down roots.
And thus, three years passed.
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