There’s a saying that pain is a warning signal from the body. When there’s an issue with bodily functions, the body sends a signal of pain, through which a person can recognize the problem and figure out measures to normalize it.
For instance, if you place your hand on a boiling kettle and don’t feel any pain, you wouldn’t realize your hand is getting cooked until you see it with your own eyes. Pain allows a person to quickly notice problems occurring in their body.
In that sense, not being able to feel pain is not a blessing but a significant anomaly.
Now, although it’s weird for someone like me—a specialist in pain sensation with over ten years of terminal illness experience—to say this, it does mean I currently possess a very blessed body.
“Hoo, haah….”
I can’t remember how many times I’ve been through this, but anyway, here I am, completely wrecked from the spine to the tailbone, stuck in the dirt, feeling blessed.
The body of a vampire is quite astonishing.
My spine is shattered, and the bottom half of my left elbow is completely severed. My legs are bent at strange angles that should not exist, and broken bones protruding through my flesh are starkly visible, yet I’m not passing out but fully conscious of the pain.
At this point, shouldn’t my sense of pain have dulled too?
I know that pain plays a critical role in the human body. But now that I’m no longer human, and as long as I’m alive, my body heals on its own without treatment. So is feeling pain really a necessary function in front of such regenerative abilities?
No, please take away the pain too. I just wish it wouldn’t hurt.
But it seems like my earnest wish is going unheard. Normally, after rolling around like this, it wouldn’t be surprising if my nerves were completely messed up, but my excellent regenerative ability allows me to feel this pain freshly every time, as my nerves get neatly restored.
Wait, am I even feeling pain through my nerves? I’ve realized I haven’t gone numb as long as I’m conscious and haven’t experienced pain.
Well, according to Martini, the first progenitor could regenerate his brain even after having his head completely severed.
Judging by that, it might be that the bodily organs merely imitating the human form don’t hold great significance.
“Should we stop?”
Martini, the one behind my current state, approaches me with a question.
There’s still plenty of regeneration power left. She shouldn’t be unaware of that.
Since she knows, it feels like she’s trying to test me by asking.
“Just two more minutes, wait. I can push through more.”
I hate the pain. I know she’s adjusting it just enough so that I don’t die, but still, the experiences of flirting with life and death terrify me every time.
I’ve personally felt that Martini is not someone I can beat with sheer will. But does that mean I have to lower my tail? At least, for me, it doesn’t.
One of the ironclad rules I made when I vowed to survive is this: never show weakness in front of the enemy.
Basically, I think of others as potential enemies. However, honestly, now that I’ve been here for about three weeks, it’s fuzzy whether Martini is an enemy.
Except for this training, there hasn’t been a single instance where she and the vampires of the duchy have threatened me.
If they wanted me dead, they would have had countless opportunities to do so.
If they wanted something from me, they’d have plenty of chances to try threats or imprisonment.
But they haven’t. At this point, I’ve been pondering that while they may not be allies exactly, they’re probably not hostile either.
Yet the fact that I can’t discern their true intentions remains, so I plan to assume they are enemies and definitely not to mention wanting to die here.
“Alright. Then let’s—”
“Apologies for interrupting, Your Highness.”
Just before the training was about to resume, a vampire who had been watching from a distance approached and bowed.
I don’t know their name, but it’s a vampire who frequently follows Martini. Judging by their outfit, they seem more of an aide than a servant, and their expression looked pretty stern.
“What’s the matter?”
Have Martini’s subordinates ever interrupted while she was speaking?
No, to the best of my recollection, that’s never happened.
And I’m sure such things haven’t happened in places I couldn’t see either.
Could it mean that it’s urgent enough for them to disrespect the sovereign? Once I thought that, my head, which had been spinning with the heat of training, quickly cooled down.
“There are human soldiers gathering near the border. It appears that the Luminous Kingdom and the Bertica Kingdom, along with the Greysia Empire, have joined forces.”
“What’s the scale?”
“They are still increasing, but given the growth rate, it’s clear they intend to wage full-scale war. The number of knights is the highest ever recorded.”
“……They’re quick. Much quicker than expected.”
My heart sinks.
The shouts of humans chasing me. The spears coming my way.
Memories of dying pierced through my entire body resurface like nightmares.
The information continues, but I can’t focus on it.
Border, troops, gathering, knights, war.
Just those vague words send my head into a jumble.
Sahelrn Duchy. A country that has been opposed by all humans and every humanoid for hundreds of years, and I know full well that I shouldn’t exist.
About 300 years ago, the long era of war on the Terra continent ended, and the age of humans began.
And during those 300 years, there hasn’t been a single instance where three human nations banded together to pick a fight with the duchy, as is clearly noted in my limited historical knowledge.
However, now these humans are preparing for war.
What could be the reason why humans are starting a full-scale war against vampires for the first time in history?
I’m not the brightest bulb, but I’m not dumb enough not to guess that.
Change has not come to the duchy over the last few hundred years.
Humans have consistently avoided a full-scale war with the duchy since its founding.
They had continued the precarious coexistence out of knowledge that a total war would result in severe damages on both sides no matter the outcome.
The environment hasn’t changed for either side.
The only thing that has changed is a new variable that has appeared.
If the only large variable that has broken the stance humans maintained for 300 years is limited to just one, I guess that would be it.
“Plans have changed. Progenitor.”
Before long, Martini, who was done speaking with her subordinate, approached.
Her solemn expression and tone had transformed, shifting from that of an ordinary vampire to that of a Grand Duke leading the duchy.
“I had thought to assist you in gathering strength as much as possible, but if it’s going to be war, it seems that will be difficult. I’m sorry I can’t protect you until the end.”
A variable that could disrupt human-vampire relations. The progenitor of the vampires.
An entity that possesses the same potential as the one who has historically experienced the worst disasters.
What does it mean that the long-standing peace on treacherous thin ice that had survived for 300 years shattered the moment I, who had fled from humans, entered the duchy?
“Immediately finish your preparations and leave the duchy. Since only the Luminous Kingdom, Empire, and Bertica Kingdom will be going to war, you should be able to hide easily in the Armes Kingdom to the southwest.”
The duchy will wage war, so you should run away.
Even as she said this, Martini’s tone was unsettlingly calm.
I glanced at Martini’s subordinates lined up behind her, but none of them who must have thought poorly of me raised any objections.
I couldn’t believe it.
While I expected that humans wouldn’t give up on pursuing me, I didn’t anticipate they would create a situation this dire this quickly. However, the most unbelievable fact for me wasn’t even that.
“Why……”
My voice cracks.
There’s so much I want to say, but my words come out clumsily, as if something is caught in my throat.
Why are you doing this?
Why are you talking as if you knew humans were going to declare war?
Is their goal me?
If so, wouldn’t it be enough for you to just hand me over to them? Why do you speak as if you’re willing to suffer a war for my sake?
“Why? Oh, now that I think about it, when you asked me why I would go to such lengths, I said you would find out soon enough.”
I had many questions, but in the end, I couldn’t nod my head.
I’ve suspected all along. I believed that all the kindness I received after being reborn had been a lie, so I thought they’d turn out the same way this time.
I followed them on the surface, but that was it. Since I had no other choice, I thought I might as well take advantage of the situation while it’s still beneficial to me.
Thus, I couldn’t open my heart.
It’s funny, but I wanted to affirm that they weren’t my enemies in this way, even as I had merely suspected up until now.
“The reason I saved you. The reason I provided you with blood and taught you how to fight.”
My belief that there is no such thing as a selfless act of kindness.
That was why I couldn’t comprehend Martini’s actions.
“I, Martini Sahelrn, desire a king to lead my people. Thus, I took this selfish action of burdening you.”
“……I’m not the first progenitor.”
I reflexively rejected that.
A king? The modern-day strongest vampire wants to occupy the empty throne that belongs to someone like me?
If that’s sincere, it’s a disturbingly foolish reason. For such a vague reason, how could anyone willingly carry the flame of war?
But that was beyond my capability. Weak as I am, I’m neither the first progenitor Martini Sahelrn longs for, nor can I even be a substitute.
You know that too. So why are you doing this?
“I know.”
“Then why!!!”
I yelled without meaning to.
I didn’t want to know they were allies in this way.
I didn’t want to know there were fools willing to risk their lives to save me for such foolish reasons.
I had thought no one would be on my side, and as I finally steeled my heart, I didn’t want to suddenly affirm the existence of allies just before losing it again.
But Martini was unperturbed. Even as she said she’d risk a war just to protect someone as insignificant as me, she reassured me, as if she had anticipated this from the very beginning.
“A king doesn’t necessarily mean a king of the duchy. Just your existence being alive provides a future for our people. No matter the means, you must survive.”
How should I take her words?
If that’s true, right, indeed, it means she has saved me for no reason.
But that doesn’t matter.
What matters is that without Martini and her subordinates’ help, I would have been killed by the imperial soldiers, and compared to that, while I didn’t have to heed her plea to survive, I had naturally been thinking of doing so. So it was close to a selfless act.
They wish to protect me, and I owe them gratitude.
That’s the only unchanging truth.
How did it come to this?
I no longer wanted to be betrayed.
So to survive, I opted to trust no one.
I’d use anything I could to survive.
I was prepared to abandon morality and humanity if it meant surviving, and consume the lives of others as my sustenance.
But.
“If I just run away, what will happen to you?”
But even that would never mean I could smile and think myself lucky for surviving while pushing those who saved me into danger.
There’s no guarantee that my opponents aren’t my enemies, so by default, I assumed everyone is an enemy and moved accordingly, thus I placed no special value on other lives.
I’d never wished for someone proven to not be an enemy to sacrifice themselves for me.
“Who do you think I am?”
But Martini smiled confidently.
As if this were nothing. There’s no way it’s nothing.
“For approximately 1900 years since the death of my lord, I am a lineage that inherited the greatest blood from the first king who guarded this land for 19 centuries.”
In an instant, an overwhelming presence radiated from Martini.
An invisible pressure that weighs down the air turns falsehoods into truths.
Her presence, like a mountain, serves as a persuasion in itself.
Once again, I can’t help but realize how much she has been helping me during our training.
“I am the Grand Duke of Sahelrn. How could a sovereign cast aside their nation just to use you as bait? I have chosen this path believing it to be the best. I won’t say it’s an easy fight, but the duchy will not suffer defeat.”
“…….”
“Rather, I’m sorry that I can’t protect you to the very end. If I protected the progenitor until the finish, they would also take risks in an all-out war, but if they realize the progenitor is absent at the last moment, they’ll retreat. This is the only way to save both the duchy and the progenitor.”
No, I never expected such things.
Is that confidence or a bluff?
But either way, it doesn’t change anything.
As long as I don’t willingly walk into the hands of humans, the full-scale war is inevitable, and the only choices I have are to either put my neck out or trust in Martini’s confidence.
And my obsession with staying alive erases the first option.
So, shamelessly, I had to trust in the dukedom’s power and flee alone.
While I had found a way to live, I wasn’t as pleased as I thought I would be.
What I truly despised was my own weakness as I turned my back to those who would bleed for me, only to run away in hopes of a future that might never come.
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