My body, which had been given grim diagnoses like permanent aftereffects, death during treatment, and retirement, was recovering magnificently against all odds.
Broken and shattered bones were healing, and the jumbled organs were functioning properly.
Muscles were slowly recovering, allowing me to not just walk but even run.
My body would be fully healed soon.
Before long, my energy might even recover to the point of attempting to regenerate my arm. That was still something I was contemplating.
And my mind was recovering significantly too.
Now, I could think normally even while awake.
However, there were side effects.
As my rationality started to regain its power, memories of the emotional actions I had taken while my reason was pushed aside began to flood back…
My face instantly felt hot. Even without using Gop-hwa, it felt like my body was heating up. It was embarrassing. I wanted to crawl into a hole right away…
I wanted to eliminate any chance of being observed by the outside world. I pulled the blanket over myself.
‘How long have I been stuck in the healing room…?’
It had been a few days since Hong Yeon-hwa and Baek Ahrin came to visit me. Since that day, I felt like my condition had improved a little.
It was probably due to the warmth of Gop-hwa that I received from Hong Yeon-hwa.
Gop-hwa… I must have caused some issues with my body temperature because I used it together with Changhae.
My temperature, which had fluctuated suddenly from hot to cold, had somewhat returned to normal since that day.
The transmission of heat through Gop-hwa. That thought made my face flush again.
The inside of the blanket was getting hot. It felt as if I was in a sauna, and I kicked the blanket away irritably.
– Swoosh
‘Gah…’
The temperature in the healing room was being regulated. Yet, the cold air was still hitting my body compared to my body temperature.
I shivered. With my trembling arms, I pulled the blanket back over myself appropriately.
I didn’t want to think about the humiliating memories from a few days ago.
Being cradled in Hong Yeon-hwa’s arms… I hated the fact that it was becoming familiar, but it didn’t reach the extent of kicking the blanket away.
However, being touched on the belly was an entirely different matter. Touching bare skin rather than clothing was even more embarrassing.
There were too many embarrassing memories before that. I had thrown tantrums with Professor Atra so much.
I felt ashamed and humiliated. Not only because of those actions but also because I felt good about it at that time, even refusing to reject them.
I wanted to deny it. I wanted to forget that memory, and I wanted to deny that I wasn’t in my right mind back then…
‘But I can’t do that…’
If it had been before, I would have denied it, but now I cannot.
I let out a deep sigh and turned over. The soft texture of the bed spread across my back.
My face was now facing upward.
I couldn’t see the sky. Naturally, there was a ceiling. What if I used the power of observation? I might be able to see it if I tried hard enough.
I moved my remaining right hand. I felt for where my left arm should be.
The emptiness of my left arm was unbearable.
‘Shit…’
Back when I was wrestling with Aelus, I thought for sure I would die there.
I figured I was done for, so I thought I’d just take that jerk down with me. Since I was going to die anyway in that process, I figured I could spare one arm.
But I survived. With one arm missing, no less.
Sometimes, when phantom pain hit my mind, it nearly drove me insane.
‘If I had known I would survive, I would have been a bit more careful…’
It was a futile regret.
If I hadn’t used my arm as bait, if I hadn’t reached out to close the distance, maybe Changhae would have missed.
It was impossible to use Changhae twice. The moment it missed, I had no way to restrain that jerk.
Naturally, the white night that followed wouldn’t have hit either, and I would have died alone there…
Regret loomed over me. As I lay comfortably thinking about it, a number of possibilities came to mind.
I should have just run away… even now, I regretted surviving.
But…
‘I would have regretted running away too.’
The regret would have been the same. No, would it have ended just in regrets? Given that I had become something similar to my parents, would I truly have wanted to live?
‘…I can’t deny it.’
I realized my unique abilities.
Magic affinity and Jack of All Trades.
I had thought the abilities that I had been given were some sort of system or something related to the “Savior.”
I was wrong. I had completely missed the mark. I had been granted the power of spatial perception and observation, but those two were entirely different.
They were abilities I had from the very beginning.
No one interfered. They were not powers granted from the outside. They were unique elements that I had possessed from the start, albeit nudged to blossom and grow a little more.
Now that I realized this, the reason became clear: I had been on the brink of death.
In the exact sense of being on the brink, I had come to understand the ‘uniqueness’ of myself as an individual.
There were small, weak, and diminutive unique elements that set me apart from others, such as the Jack of All Trades and magic affinity—large enough to define me.
Thus, I should not deny my uniqueness or the elements that made me who I am.
‘Lee Ha-yul.’
My name.
A designation that represents me at its core, regardless of who coined it.
I was Lee Ha-yul, the fool who couldn’t abandon his conscience and foolishly ran around trying to save people.
I was also Lee Ha-yul, who wanted to cry and run away but ultimately did not, instead crashing into the monster.
Even now, as I remained alive and well, I was Lee Ha-yul, who regretted that choice back then.
And.
I was also Lee Ha-yul, who cried and clung to Professor Atra.
I was Lee Ha-yul, who refused to take medicine, unable to taste bitterness, and hated the cold, preferring to snuggle up in warm arms.
The version of Lee Ha-yul who regained consciousness and found that embarrassing and shameful was also me.
They were all me. I couldn’t deny them. I couldn’t deny the uniqueness that composed me.
Because I had spent so long denying it, it took me a while to come to terms with my unique abilities.
The most basic method of training those unique abilities is to reflect on oneself.
I learned that at Shio-ram, and I knew it from the knowledge of the original story.
But I had never applied that to myself. I thought I was a special case, so it wouldn’t have much effect.
I made a mistake. That was inevitable. I was not omnipotent, nor was I a perfect superhuman without mistakes.
But if I made a mistake, then I needed to pay attention to avoid repeating it next time.
So I had to accept it. The version of Lee Ha-yul that is deemed embarrassing and ugly is ultimately me, and I must acknowledge that I am also the dirty person who regretted saving people.
‘I don’t want to regret.’
As long as humans live, there are moments when they inevitably have to choose one option out of many.
The moment of choice does not end with one; it will come countless times throughout life.
A wishy-washy guy like me will regret at every moment.
But I want to regret less.
I regret not running away from the Sifnah! But if I had escaped from there, I would have had regrets that would make me want to take my own life.
The events that entered my perception.
It was an emergency I could help with.
A crisis that only I could handle.
That’s why I crashed in.
Then, what should I do moving forward?
I shuffled through the knowledge from the original work.
Tower of Necromancy.
Tower of Eternal Winter.
Tower of Purgatory.
The disasters that I had deemed as my final goal.
I knew those towers would become active soon.
Moreover, I also recognized that the damage would exceed the level of a few countries falling apart.
I was aware of the situation. I knew that I could help, even if only a little.
Then, could I solve that issue alone? There were plenty of people more capable than me. Did I really have to do it?
I continued to drift off into thought like an idiot.
‘Ah.’
While trying to organize my jumbled thoughts, a sudden idea struck me, and I reached out my right arm.
I grabbed the box that was on the floor beside the bed. Carefully pulling it into my arms.
The box was an ideal size that fit perfectly in my embrace. As I rummaged through it, I felt the texture of numerous sheets of paper.
I had become quite famous due to the Sifnah incident. My appearance, freed from the magical interference spell due to the power of observation, had been documented quite well.
I had edited it suitably to broadcast to a level that didn’t land me in trouble.
As a result, my recognition and reputation had increased significantly, and a mountain of letters flooded the box.
This box wasn’t the only one.
There were many letters from individuals who had been rescued directly along with those who had simply heard the news.
I absentmindedly caressed the letters.
They felt slightly crumpled and cool to the touch.
Yet, at the same time, they felt warm.
‘…I…’
I didn’t want to die. I valued myself more than anyone else. I wanted to live peacefully after breaking the curse. I wanted to eat delicious food and just have fun.
‘I want to be happy.’
That was the wish of the being known as Lee Ha-yul.
I want to be happy.
And, if possible, I wished for others to be happy too.
The sound of happy laughter was much more pleasant to listen to than the sound of sorrowful cries.
When I heard that heartfelt handwritten letters filled with gratitude had arrived in the present era from the Tower of Harmony, a feeling of satisfaction arose within me.
If possible, I wished for others to be happy.
If I could dare to aim for that, then I too want to be happy, and I wish for others to be happy too.
Is that even possible? The letters provided the answer.
Professor Atra had told me. The people who visited me told me as well.
There were those I couldn’t save, but there were certainly those I had saved. People who wouldn’t be alive if I hadn’t stepped in. Thanks to my actions, many who were originally meant to die were alive.
‘I’ve decided.’
I reaffirmed my goal.
In any case, to survive, I need to prevent disasters akin to annihilation.
I have no intention of dying a miserable death. I don’t want to live a happy but short life.
Let’s do our best.
To have as little regret as possible.
So that I can justify later that I did my best at that time.
The sky was still out of sight. Of course, there was a ceiling blocking it.
Also, since I was looking down, it was natural that I couldn’t see it.
It was foolish to think I’d see the top while looking down.
From now on… I will endeavor to lift my head.
I felt many things while facing death.
It was silly to continue being trapped in the shadow of my deceased parents. It was time to shake that off little by little.
I steeled my heart and restructured my direction of growth.
The plan for obtaining the necklace of confession had gone horribly awry, so I hatched a new one.
Assuming that hidden pieces with low acquisition difficulty, like the necklace of confession, had already been raided, I brainstormed elements I could use.
‘Ah, I also think the necklace is a huge waste…’
If only I had sold it, I could have earned a lot of money…
I felt a deep sense of loss. If I had just obtained the necklace of confession, I could have ignored the curse of silence from then on.
But what can you do? I could only swallow my regret.
– Scrape
“Was everything alright?”
A few hours later, Professor Atra, who had left for personal matters, rushed in.
She quickly approached me and hugged me while I was sitting on the bed.
The delightful warmth completely enveloped my body.
‘…I’m happy.’
I accepted myself.
So I must not deny this feeling…
*
The day after I was finally discharged and returned to Shio-ram.
“Our family isn’t that distinguished, so this is all we can offer, hehe… But I think it will definitely help Ha-yul!”
Elia’s outstretched hand… On her palm rested a neatly organized necklace.
I registered the necklace’s appearance through the information collected by the power of observation.
Instead of being flashy, it could be described as a chunky silver necklace.
Moreover, my inexperienced power of observation had partially detected the principle contained in the necklace.
It read the wearer’s psyche and expressed it externally through voice…
‘This is…’
The same appearance. And a somehow familiar ability…
‘It’s the Necklace of Confession…’
Why was the friend I had settled my mind for here…?
I opened my mouth in shock.
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