“Really, really sorry… The things I said back then, they weren’t all true… It was a lie…”
The words that you don’t need.
The words that I’d rather wish you were dead.
I still vividly remember that moment.
Yet, I can’t bring myself to push you away, seeing you cry so heartbreakingly.
‘Well, I already…’
“I…”
But more than that, I wanted to clear up a few questions myself.
“Before that, may I ask you one thing?”
“Yeah… Ask me anything.”
“That night, did you really mean to kill me?”
That night, when you sat on me, choking me and casting spells.
What was Eliya thinking?
“……”
Eliya’s complexion turned pale in an instant.
Her eyes trembled as if there was an earthquake.
“I… I don’t know… I know it’s terrible, but…”
Eliya shut her eyes tightly.
“It seems I didn’t completely lack that feeling…”
“But earlier you said wanting me to die was a lie.”
“……”
I wasn’t trying to corner her, but as I asked, the conversation kept drifting in that direction.
I spoke softly to the sobbing her.
“Please tell me honestly what you were thinking at that time. I want to hear it.”
“Okay…”
After gathering her breath a few times, Eliya finally spoke.
“You have become too precious to me. You’ve become so special beyond control that you’ve become my weakness. So I thought I needed to eliminate that… It shouldn’t exist for me…”
Eliya glanced at me.
I nodded, indicating her to continue.
“And, as you know, I was preparing for war. I couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt in that war… If I thought about it, I wouldn’t be able to endure it… If you died, I would…”
She couldn’t finish her sentence and closed her mouth.
She began to tremble softly and cried again.
I waited silently.
“I know it doesn’t make sense, I realize I sound crazy. But rather than that, it felt like I had to…”
Eliya seemed unable to say more, and she went silent.
That was enough.
I summarized what she said in my mind.
‘An emotionally clumsy girl…’
Scenes began to flicker in my mind.
When I took the crossbow bolt for Eliya.
When I was hit by Envinil, enhanced with black magic during the founding lore.
Eliya’s reactions were intense in various ways.
She looked either terrified or angry.
At that time, the situation was so urgent that I didn’t have the luxury to reflect back.
‘Looking back now…’
She was surprised and terrified.
Realizing her feelings for me.
That those feelings had grown beyond her control.
It was the first time she felt such emotions, and because it contradicted the words she had been obsessively repeating, Eliya was lost.
It wasn’t only that.
She was born of mad fire.
Possessing the property to incite the user’s violent tendencies.
With my weakened magical power, I could not have quelled that mad fire.
The mix of rampaging violence and fearful emotions resulted in that kind of incident.
‘Things would be a bit different now, though.’
I decided to ask one last question.
“Back then, you were going to use magic on me, right?”
“…Yeah.”
“Can you tell me what kind of magic it was?”
And the answer that came back was completely unexpected.
“I was trying to peek into your memories.”
“…My memories?”
“Yeah. You said you didn’t remember things from a long time ago. Like Angra, Judeca, and such.”
“Oh, right. I did.”
“I wanted to help you find those things. So I used magic, but I guess I was out of it because it seemed like it didn’t work properly.”
…Ah.
I lamented inwardly.
A phrase I had heard somewhere resurfaced in my mind.
Destiny fulfills itself through actions that try to avoid it.
Self-fulfilling destiny.
In trying to escape from Eliya, I grew closer to her.
And as we grew close, we naturally became a bit friendly.
I thought if this relationship could avoid tragedy.
But in truth, Eliya cherishing me too dearly left me feeling confused.
On the other hand, the magical immunity I discovered to defend against Eliya’s magic.
That only served to cause misunderstandings with her.
If that magic immunity hadn’t been there, things might not have come this far.
I would have just confirmed my memories.
“And, I was curious about your feelings for me…”
Eliya said in a trembling voice.
Her cheeks, already red from crying, reddened even more.
…She was 100% embarrassed.
‘The way she keeps sniffing and is adorably cute to the point of being harmful to the heart…’
The discovery of revelation.
If the magical barrier hadn’t been there, and she peeked into my memories and feelings, something like this might not have happened.
I am just…
“I heard you say sorry. I’m… okay.”
It’s okay.
I wasn’t really okay before, but now I am.
I don’t know if I can forgive this, or not.
I had never held her responsible, so there’s nothing to forgive.
But seeing Eliya’s genuine apology, everything became fine.
Perhaps it was unexpected, as Eliya’s eyes widened in surprise.
Then she cautiously asked.
“Why… aren’t you blaming me?”
Even if there was emotional turmoil, she had tried to kill me.
It seemed odd that I wasn’t reproaching her for it.
But now, I know.
Listening to her, I suddenly realized.
She never actually tried to kill me.
I can usually sense when someone is genuinely trying to kill me.
When Ramek sent assassins, it was the same.
Survival expert.
That trait warns me.
Even if I can block it with magical immunity, the warning still comes.
But when Eliya was trying to choke me.
The survival expert was silent.
No warnings were sent at all.
So, Eliya wasn’t trying to kill me.
She was just confused, unable to control her feelings.
“I understand your heart.”
I’m not sure if that’s a rational judgment.
My emotions had already swung heavily in her direction.
Is it even possible to apply rational judgment to emotions?
“……”
She looked up at me with dazed eyes.
Her large eyes were moist.
She wasn’t crying anymore.
Though her eyes were still slightly red from crying.
“But, about that ‘it shouldn’t be touched’ thing. I feel like it’s fine now.”
I said very cautiously.
The words I carefully chose seemed to also be a bit doubtful to me.
“Can I touch you just once?”
Eliya’s eyes widened, then swallowed nervously, her bright red face slowly dropping.
“…Ah, no! I didn’t mean it like that, I meant… can I make contact…!”
“I know, I know!”
Her flustered response kept her from meeting my gaze.
With her head down, she seemed to mutter her answer far away.
“…Do as you please.”
Well, she can get flustered too.
Telling me to do as I please sounds strange.
I just wanted to check something briefly.
But with the atmosphere as it is, I felt a bit nervous and my heart raced.
“W-well, excuse me for a moment…”
“Okay…”
I slowly took her wrist.
It touched her soft skin.
That familiar texture and warmth.
But the warmth that crept through my fingertips felt incredibly new.
It penetrated my body, spreading all over.
Warmth.
The smell of gentle sunshine seemed to relax my whole body.
It felt somewhat similar but wholly different from the times I held Eliya while sleeping…
[The Conjoined Moon.]
> [The Completed Moon.]
Suddenly, the trait changed.
And.
[Magic Power: 65.0 > 68.0]
My magic power increased.
‘Huh…?’
There was no room to be surprised by that change.
When I came to my senses, I found myself pulling Eliya into my arms.
She had snuggled against my chest in a calm manner.
“…Huh?! Ah, no, this, this is…! I’m so sorry…!”
I swear, this wasn’t intentional.
Before I knew it, I had drawn her close as if enchanted.
If this was the feeling Eliya experienced whenever she touched me, it would make sense why she had been looking for me since she was a child… so good… I mean, such…
“……”
Even with my sudden action, Eliya said nothing.
She slowly lifted her gaze, staring at me.
Her face was as red as a person who had been drinking.
It seemed like if I poked her, juice would flow out.
Her tightly shut lips looked serious, as if she had made some kind of decision.
After staring for a while, she draped her arms around my neck and gradually moved in closer.
Her face that was resting against my chest slowly rose up.
Before I knew it, we were facing each other.
Our breaths were so close they could nearly touch.
The tone of her voice was endlessly serious.
“Yuda. You said you understood my feelings…”
“……”
“Do you really… know? How much and how I feel about you… Do you know how deep that feeling is, a feeling even I fear…?”
A thin, trembling voice.
I could feel an emotion filled with anticipation swelling up.
Her long, dark hair brushed against my face.
My vision was completely filled with Eliya on top of me.
Our noses were nearly touching.
The gap between our lips was barely enough for a finger to fit.
I felt that if I breathed deeply, our lips would connect.
My heart was racing like crazy.
In that moment, the tiny but full, shiny red lips seemed so appetizing.
The atmosphere felt tense.
Bodies were pressed against each other.
And they felt hot, as if they would meld together.
I swallowed instinctively.
She peeked her tongue out to wet her lips.
The thought of her smooth crimson tongue touching her lips blossomed in my imagination.
Time seemed to flow slowly in that silence.
Eliya slowly closed her eyes.
Turning her head slightly, moving closer to me.
I instinctively closed my eyes.
But at that moment.
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