Young Eliya was sitting.
On her left was her mother.
On her right sat young Judas.
A garden with lush green grass spread out before them.
Surrounding them were bright red anemones.
The full moon in the sky shone as brightly as the sun.
Eliya smiled.
This was heaven.
With such a wonderful environment, and with those she loved and who loved her, it couldn’t be anything but paradise.
Seeing Eliya like that, Judas and Maria also smiled.
They always wondered about Eliya’s well-being and showered her with words and actions she enjoyed.
Holding hands, hugging, and sharing meals.
Judas and her mother took turns feeding her.
Cuddled in Judas’s arms, she would listen to her mother’s stories.
Sometimes, she’d snuggle up to her mother to hear Judas’s tales too.
There were times they took walks together in the garden filled with anemones.
Holding Judas in her right hand and Maria in her left.
Every single day was like that.
Eliya was overwhelmed with happiness.
She felt she could smile even if she died like this.
At the same time, she didn’t want to die.
If she were to die with paradise left behind, she would surely fall into the abyss.
She didn’t want to let go of this reality, so sweet it could numb her.
She wanted to hold it tightly in her arms and hide it away so that no one could take it from her, a time so precious.
But because it was so precious, Eliya suddenly felt fear.
What if this world ended?
Or what if all of this was just a dream that could shatter at any moment?
There couldn’t possibly be a reality where she was happy without any cost.
She was a bastard.
A being cursed from birth.
Someone meant to be hated.
It wasn’t strange that her family despised her so.
Moreover, she had killed Judas’s family.
Even if it wasn’t truly him.
Even if it wasn’t her own will.
She had to bear too many sins.
In that confusion, Eliya fell into chaos.
The only people in this world were her, her mother, and Judas.
But family? What family was there?
Judas’s family? Who were they?
Every time she was confused like that, Judas and Maria held her close.
They stroked her and comforted her.
They whispered that it was okay.
She could forget all of that.
Eliya found her calm again and smiled.
Dazed with happiness, she could ignore the discomfort.
Like that steel frame splitting the sky.
Like a cage.
Or that little cage that followed her everywhere regardless of where she went.
The small cage placed on the bedroom windowsill was pitch black.
Nothing could be seen inside.
And the outside world, like a large cage, was also dark.
The bright moon illuminated the ground, but beyond that was a hollow black void.
With similar two objects, Eliya diverted her attention.
Judas was there. Her mother was there.
Their warmth wrapped around her like a blanket.
That was enough for her to be alright with any problem.
*
“AAAAAAAH-!”
Eliya screamed.
Her body was hot.
It was burning.
She couldn’t escape.
Bound to a wooden stake.
Bound with her arms extended, intertwined like a cross.
It was igniting from below.
There was a person before her.
Judas on the right.
Maria on the left.
The two held torches.
They set her ablaze.
Even while writhing in pain, Eliya couldn’t blame them.
She could only wonder.
Why?
Then, her vision shifted wildly.
Suddenly she stood on the left side of the cross.
Now Judas was bound and burning.
“GUUUUAAAAAH-!”
He screamed.
Eliya stared blankly at the torch in her hand.
She had lit the fire.
It was her fault that Judas was in pain.
“Ah….”
Realizing her sin, she sighed and looked up at Judas.
The one who saved her was suffering because of her sins.
His skin melted in the golden flames.
Red flesh was exposed.
He burned in a horrific sight.
He was in pain because of her, while her body remained unscathed.
He was paying the price for her sins.
This shouldn’t be happening.
The magic wouldn’t activate.
This shouldn’t be the case.
Eliya muttered like a madwoman and tried to move forward.
But her feet felt nailed to the ground, refusing to budge.
All she could do was stand in place and watch him.
“GUAAAAGH-!”
Hearing his scream, Eliya clenched her eyes shut.
When she opened them again, her place had shifted once more.
To the right of the cross.
This time, it was Maria who hung.
Her body ignited with the golden flames.
The same color as the fire she wielded.
Two differences from before:
First, Judas stood beside her.
Unlike earlier, where they formed a triangular figure with one at each corner, now they stood together.
Secondly, Maria didn’t scream.
As her skin crumbled away, she merely smiled.
With a kind, warm smile, she looked at Eliya.
Golden flames reflected in her black eyes.
Like when Eliya used her magic.
Her mother smiled gently and said.
“I’m sorry.”
“…….”
“I’m sorry, my child.”
Why?
Why are you apologizing to me?
It’s all my fault….
“It’s all my fault, so don’t cry….”
Without realizing it, Eliya was crying.
Tears poured out like a flood.
Her throat was tight, making it hard to breathe.
She gasped, shaking her chest and rubbing her face with her hands.
“Huh… Huh…!”
Her mother was burning.
It was she who kindled the golden flames.
Eliya knew.
For a moment, she had blamed her mother.
When she learned that her mother stayed by her side.
When she realized that her mother had been secretly protecting her while pretending to deceive her.
She was shocked and hurt, and she briefly felt a tiny bit of resentment.
You could tell me.
You could have told me.
Anytime.
In any situation.
No matter how many lies you told to deceive me.
As long as you let me know you were alive.
As long as you were by my side, I was ready to forgive everything.
If you had said it earlier, I would have treated you better.
She felt a little resentment toward her mother for not doing so.
Just a little.
That small ember of resentment had grown to consume her mother.
“Ugh…!”
“That’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
“Waaah-!”
Eliya shook her head vigorously.
She tried to move forward, but her body wouldn’t budge.
She struggled, eventually falling over.
Thud.
She clutched the ground.
Desperately trying to crawl forward.
But she couldn’t move at all.
“AAAAAAGH-!”
Eliya screamed as she struck the ground repeatedly.
Her small hands tore and bled.
Then, at some moment, it became silent around her.
She looked up.
Her burning mother stared directly at her.
Right beside her, Judas looked down at her.
His eyes were wide open, bright and vacant.
Red veins spread like spider webs across the whites of his eyes.
Both had looks Eliya had never seen directed at her before.
“YIK!”
Surprised, Eliya gasped.
“It’s your fault.”
Her mother said.
“You killed me.”
Judas also spoke.
“I, I, I…”
“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have died. Because you had to inherit the power of fire… Because you were cursed with that talent!”
“You killed our family and friends. You should never have signed that contract, even if it meant you would die! It’s all your fault! You did this!”
The two, spewing their rage, had somehow become Eliya.
Eliya unleashed her words and curses against Eliya.
Curled up Eliya. Cursing Eliya.
Eliya, who are you?
Who am I?
“Die! It’s all your fault!”
“You have to die!”
Eliya told Eliya.
Before long, dozens and hundreds of Eliya sprang up around her.
All of them cursed themselves in unison.
Eliya tried to hug her knees and hide, but it was useless.
Eliya pulled Eliya up.
Dozens of them clung on.
They lifted Eliya and bound her to the burning stake.
They tied her up.
Once more, the golden flames blazed fiercely.
“Die! Die!”
“Just die! You don’t need to live!”
“You’re a piece of trash that shouldn’t be alive!”
Eliya burned in the fire.
Surrounding her, countless Eliya spat out curses.
Throwing stones and spitting.
Eliya watched, dazed, as those crazy, red-eyed ones surrounded her.
Yes, that’s right.
It’s all my fault.
I deserve this.
This is the right conclusion.
Eliyas picked up spears.
They stabbed their sharpened wooden spears into her body.
A hole opened in her side.
Blood poured out.
Heat rushed in through the hole.
Her skin burned from below.
She was scalded, cooked, and charred.
Could there be a more fitting conclusion for her?
Resigned, she raised her head, spitting blood.
The sky.
A crack appeared in the full moon.
Like it was about to shatter.
What lay below was the great steel frame of this cage.
And before her was.
A small cage of someone.
Eliya looked up at the moon, forcing a smile.
“I’m okay.”
Rustle, rustle.
The sound that suddenly came was like leaves swirling in the wind.
Eliya was turning to ashes, one by one.
Eliyas, who cursed and threw stones and jabbed with spears, dissolved into ashes.
The ash-colored dust fell, forming pillars.
Ash covered everything around.
And finally.
-Rustle!
She became ash herself.
The golden flames cooled, leaving behind a pathetic ash.
All Eliyas became one as ash.
The ashen Eliya looked up at the sky.
A pretty moon.
Her only light.
The wind blew.
The ashes swirled and flew away.
Eliya was the same.
And what brushed through the air was.
A red flower.
My salvation.
Anemone.
As the flower passed, the cracks in the moon became evident.
They multiplied.
Splitting like breaking ice.
Boom!
The moon shattered.
A round hole appeared in its place.
A blackness thicker than the surrounding void.
From that place, a hand reached out.
A hand large enough to seem as if it could grasp the moon in one grip.
Then an arm emerged.
On the muscular forearm were countless minor scars.
The hands bore the same.
Rough hands, full of calluses.
The marks of someone who had tirelessly honed their skills over many years for someone.
Crash! Thud!
The hand brutally gripped the cage’s iron bars and tore them out.
The hand that came down as if to offer seemed to beckon her.
But for the ash-bound Eliya, there were no hands.
She wanted to touch that hand.
The ashes flowed and moved like pouring sand.
They took shape.
Turning into ashen Eliya.
Eliya embraced the hand.
Compared to her insignificant self, it was an overwhelmingly large hand; she barely managed to hold just a finger.
It was warm.
The warmth enveloping the ashes made her weep.
As she trembled, her body crumbled like powder.
The ashes fell again.
Her form broken apart, scattering like ash.
Falling away through the gaps of the fingers.
The fallen ashes clung back to her, barely maintaining her form.
Eliya buried her face in that hand and sobbed.
The trembling cries quickly turned into heart-wrenching wails.
“Hah…! Ugh, I’m not okay-!”
Then the hand gently grasped Eliya.
*
Little Eliya looked ahead.
The straight path stretched out, the path she had to take.
It was a thorny road.
Fearful, she brought her hand to her mouth.
The other hand held onto someone.
Maria. Mother.
Eliya glanced up at her mother.
Her mother met her gaze with a bittersweet smile.
She did not push Eliya forward first.
She waited.
But the world did not allow that.
“Ugh!”
Something shoved Eliya’s back.
“Ouch!”
A sharp thorn pricked her foot.
It was a sting.
Blood poured out.
But she couldn’t back down.
This path is one that, once stepped on, one cannot retreat or look back.
“Ugh…!”
Eliya clenched her fist tightly, suppressing her tears.
She desperately wanted to look back.
She wanted to return and hug her mother.
But she must not.
Whether by her own will or against it.
She stood on the path.
So she must only look ahead.
She had no idea what lay at the end of the road.
She couldn’t see it.
Why she had to go.
Yet still, she walked.
“Ugh…!”
With every step she took, the thorns dug into her feet.
She couldn’t pull back.
So she kept walking.
-Rustle!
One thorn was made of glass, and when stepped on, it shattered and pierced her.
Another thorn was so large and firmly anchored to the ground that she had to step on it to move forward.
“Ahh…!”
She wanted to sit down.
She wanted to go back right now.
Nonetheless, she kept walking.
Continuing, continuing without knowing how far she had drifted from her mother.
A straight path lay before her.
There was no above, below, or sides.
Only forward.
When her soles became ragged, she finally saw a small light at the end.
The ivory glow resembled the moon.
To touch the light, Eliya summoned all her strength and walked.
Squeezing every last bit of energy she had.
She held back the urge to fall.
The closer she got, the more she felt it was slipping away, but she still stepped on the thorns.
Near the line where the thorns ended, Eliya ran.
And as she leaped in, she called out the name of the light.
“Judas-!”
The moment she crossed the line, light enveloped Eliya’s body.
As the light released her, she nestled into Judas’s arms and found herself as an adult.
“Judas…!”
She buried her face in his chest and wept.
The waiting adult Judas held her silently.
“I’m not okay either. Miss.”
Eliya regained her composure in his embrace and wept as she liked.
Only then did she turn to look back.
She remembered her mother left behind in the distant road.
Feeling sad about whether she would see her again, she turned her head.
“Eli.”
Her mother was right behind her.
With a smiling face, she patted her head.
Her mother’s feet were just as bloodied as hers.
It was the result of walking the same thorny path.
“You’ve done well.”
“Mother…?”
“I’m sorry for not being able to do anything for you.”
“Mother….”
“But I’m glad. It feels like I’ve regained your world. That’s enough for me.”
Maria wrapped Eliya’s head in her arms.
She softly kissed her forehead.
“I love you. Eli.”
“Mother…. Me too, me too…!”
Her voice was so choked it barely sounded.
Clinging to both her mother and Judas, she cried.
Then suddenly the world went dark, and Eliya’s consciousness faded away.
As if she were being sucked into somewhere.
*
A vast meadow.
In the center bloomed clusters of anemones.
Above them, the black sun cracked.
-Crack…
Golden rays seeped through the gaps.
Gold spread quickly.
The golden light brightened the surroundings.
-Crack… Boom!
With a loud noise, the black sun exploded.
In an instant, the golden light enveloped the entire afterlife.
-Bang!
Judas fell from the sun.
He lay on the ground and looked around.
None of the figures he saw before leaving were there.
Balak. Narcissi. Maria. Everyone else. They were nowhere to be seen.
The field was filled solely with red anemones.
“Whoo….”
Judas sighed and looked down at his body.
The skin that had melted and flowed was intact.
He clenched and opened his fist.
This was reality.
“Eliya….”
He looked up at the sky.
There was no black sun.
In its place, something floated down gently.
Like petals. Soft and light.
A woman dressed in a pure white dress.
With her black hair trailing behind her, she was falling. It was Eliya.
Judas reached out with both hands, as if to catch her.
Eliya gently landed in his arms.
“Eliya….”
Judas called her name as he brushed her face.
But she did not awaken.
It was not yet time for her to rise here.
“Haah…. It’s okay, it’s okay….”
He buried his face in Eliya’s shoulder, taking a deep breath.
“Let’s go back now….”
But it wasn’t yet time.
Not everything was over.
“…….”
Judas noticed a wooden cup prepared before him.
He reminded himself of the rule.
To return, he must drink from the cup.
Either he or Eliya could drink.
Drinking would mean losing precious memories.
The core of memories that would prevent him from being able to remain as he currently was.
How much or what he would lose, he didn’t know yet.
Should he let Eliya drink?
Or should he drink himself?
Judas pondered for a long time.
‘……’
He set Eliya down gently on the grass and knelt before her.
The red anemones glowed brightly and lifted into the sky like lanterns.
Amidst the beautiful scenery, Judas made his decision.
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