“So cute. The motion is so smooth. Let’s slowly check out the emotional expressions. Uh-oh?”
My body moved without my will.
Right, this was originally such an unfriendly game.
Vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom-
“Wow. Is this a bamboo helicopter or what? Hehehe.”
Asteria spins her sheath around excitedly.
From the third-person view, it looks incredibly provocative.
– Ugh, I want a rubber hammer, lol!
– Watching this on stream is frustrating as hell, lol!
– No more Asteria in my game from now on.
– Let’s hurry up and see something else, go go go!
Finally, the second emotional expression macro.
A magic circle appears on the ground, and Asteria puts on 8-bit sunglasses.
“Is she casting fire magic or something?”
Waving her arms left and right alternately.
Jumping up and down with her legs together.
Stretching her arms to the sky.
“What is this? A dark magic ritual? Or is it a dance…?”
– Riot, you crazy people, lol!
– How do foreigners even know this, lol?
– NoName is so cute!
– Zuuuuuk, lol!
– Is Na-me doing a stretch routine? This growth plate can’t be stopped.
– This is what cultural victory looks like.
Rustle-
Suddenly, enemies appear from the bushes on the opposite bank.
“Oh no, we’ve been invaded.”
There are 5 of us, and 5 of them. A big fight is bound to happen early on.
But something feels off.
“What’s going on? Why did they suddenly stop? We wanted to see the stretch routine too!”
“Get back to what you were doing fast!”
“If you don’t show us, I’m running to mid.”
“Won’t that make you show us less? Are you lacking something?”
“The skin is… WOW…”
Was that such a dance?
I took off running without looking back.
“Wow, NoName’s fox tail edition!”
“Oh my, how embarrassing.”
I wrapped the white tail between my legs, held it with my hands, and started bouncing around.
– Lololololol!
– NoName does it, so it’s a 100% synchronization, lol!
– The personality reflection is insane, lol!
– But how will we jungle from now on, lol?
Ignoring the enemies’ desperate cries, I dashed to the bottom camp.
“Top, come down here for a second.”
“Oh, going for a late invade?”
“No, help me eat the jungle 3 camps.”
“Ah… then top gang later.”
“Stop the chit-chat and quickly warm up some food.”
– Wow, a 4-man emperor leash, lol!
– I cried, T_T
– The National Jungler Association recognizes NoName as a true jungler.
– They really play League super fun, lol!
I secured 2 kills with a clean bottom dive at level 1.
After hitting level 4, jungle clearing became easier.
Meanwhile, the top who returned home ended up with 3 solo kills, recording 0/3/2.
[Your ally has been slain.]
[Enemy double kill.]
Troublemaker bottom is also delivering bad news continuously.
Ah, such a familiar home scent.
“That guy looks like he’ll get dove again. A big wave is coming, let’s go check on the top.”
– Na-me is here to repay the favor.
– Hero Na-me is here!
– The enemy Mordekaiser is full health, can we catch him together?
– Why are the footsteps so light, lol?
“Hehe.”
I started hopping around but gradually slowed down.
‘Wouldn’t the enemy Mordekaiser use his ultimate at this timing?’
As if he heard my thoughts, the enemy Mordekaiser takes our top into the void.
“Nice. Let’s quickly eat and get out.”
I hurriedly dealt with the incoming soldiers and collected all the gold.
With a smite on the cannon, I jumped back over the wall with my flash and escaped.
Our top didn’t realize I was there and died alone.
[+315 gold.]
“Gained a kill’s worth. If Mordekaiser pushes more here, we can catch him, or let’s go home and jump to bottom.”
– Wow, is that devilry? LMAO!
– NoName/Controversy and Incident/3.12.
– I called for a gank, not for you to eat the wave!
– Jumping back with flash is pure evil, lol!
– 1 kill (6 melee, 8 ranged, 1 cannon).
Even the true League experts would scowl at this madness.
At 18 minutes, our team’s mid inhibitor was broken.
But my level is the highest at 14 among 10 players.
The formidable enemy top was 13, and our top was 11.
A fragile 8-level support and an 11-level ADC suddenly appeared in my view.
[Basic-attack-q-attack-e-r.]
Flash-!
Hit by Asteria’s combo, the enemy disintegrated in just one second.
– What is that damage???
– Aha! So the jungler can legally farm all three lanes!
– She’s seriously insane, lol!
The defeated enemy top approached me doing the moonwalk.
“Let’s see the emotional expression. I didn’t see our laughter earlier.”
Before I could think, Asteria jumped back and stuck her butt and tail out.
Sway-
“You’re totally pathetic, aren’t you? Meh—Meeeow! Ahhhh, what is this!?”
– Oh damn, I can’t hold back anymore.
– Wakawaka pawpurrslap, lol!
– 200% personal motives, lol!
– The reason it didn’t come out exactly like NoName = because they were afraid of a lawsuit, of course.
– I’m totally buying this, lol!
– Are you saying NoName’s spirit is trapped inside Asteria right now? Hehehe.
As soon as I showed my back, the jungler swung his sword toward my butt.
Thwack-!
[1853(-205)/2389.]
A dark cloud cast over the cheerful battlefield.
The allies and enemies engaged in WWE paused all at once.
I crossed my arms and said.
“Did you make a mistake, or didn’t you? Everyone is dancing, can’t you feel the vibe? We’re live streaming in front of 1.2 million people, and you killed the mood.”
“Um, I made a mistake.”
“If you made a mistake, quickly repent.”
“Yes.”
He bought 6 tears of jewels, adorned himself, and jumped off the cliff.
“Ahhhhh!”
[Execution.]
“Now that we’ve checked emotional expressions and returns, I’ll show you skills starting from the q ability one by one.”
– This game is crazy, lol!
– Is this the League I know?
– Peace comes from overwhelming force.
– Introducing skills in a real-time ranked game instead of the training ground, huh?
– Aren’t they gonna get banned for abusing this? LOL!
While displaying skill motions with the resurrected ADC as my test subject…
My body suddenly stiffened, and the language module crashed.
“■■ ■■■ ■ ■■ ■ ■■?”
The screen goes dark.
[Service Restriction Notice.]
[You are no longer able to utilize League of Legends for the following reasons.]
[Reason for sanction: Abusing/Unsporting conduct.]
[Duration of sanction: 1 month.]
“Gasp.”
– Ban ending, lol!
– I expected it, lol!
– What a classic!
– Looks like Na-me fell behind too… that can happen.
– What now for the skin review?
– The people who are probably crying right now are the company, right?
I can’t do a new skin review anymore.
And this is more serious than it looks.
‘What should I do, I got paid too…’
Promotions, of course, aren’t free.
It cost a whopping 150 million won.
“Manager? Any messages?”
[Manager: It seems we need to wait. They said they are contacting headquarters.]
“It’s not going to be confirmed right away because it’s midnight over there.”
– LOL!
– NoName got too excited.
– Nowadays, just a little teabagging will get you banned. Sanctions are too severe.
Sitting still won’t solve anything.
Would an idol suddenly refuse to sing just because the microphone broke on stage?
A pro must handle it like a pro.
[▶ Would you like to choose semi-automatic avatar creation?]
[▶ The user’s brainwaves will be detected, and AI will create the optimal avatar.]
[▶ To create a clear avatar, please visualize the person’s image in detail.]
Complete memory ability.
I weave together everything I saw of Asteria’s appearance with natural language and imagery.
Pointy, fluffy ears, a small and delicate nose.
A slim jawline, lips in a light pink hue.
Silver hair styled in twin tails.
The hair, fine and soft, flows over my suit like silk when I touch it.
[▶ Avatar has been created.]
“It’s not exact, but… is it similar enough?”
I temporarily created an avatar and observed the viewers’ reactions.
– ??????
– What a crazy pro, lol!
– Waaaaahhhh!!!
– Avatar quality, what’s up with that?
– Khaaa, NoName, are you the strongest even in avatar form?
As long as they can recognize the Asteria.
“Until my account is unbanned, let me briefly do content on ‘Texas National Exchange Tournament Participant Analysis.’”
[‘TomorrowIsGorilla’ donated 10,000 won!]
– With that look?
“Yes. I think it’ll ease my guilt a bit.”
– Wow, lol!
– The Asteria NoName skin isn’t NoName Asteria skin.
– Isn’t this the unity of existence? LOL!
– I AM Na-me.
– Please do an emotional expression!
– Emotional expression is great.
– Please do the stretch routine one more time!
[‘Da-yeonHyperHighPerformanceLittleGirlAI’ donated 10,000 won!]
– If Asteria does the stretch routine, it’s a million won.
“I won’t do it.”
[‘Da-yeonHyperHighPerformanceLittleGirlAI’ donated 10,000 won!]
– I’ll donate it to an orphanage. The weather is getting warmer these days…
“Aww…!”
What can I say to that?
I squinted at the screen for a moment.
“Make sure to keep that promise. I’ll check for confirmation in the fan cafe.”
– Bouncy bouncy, so cute, lol!
– Very mad Na-me!
– The way you handle Na-me is extraordinary…
– As they say, after three years of Na-me’s Room, you’re bound to become eloquent?
– Na-me is genuinely kind, lol!
Having uttered such words, I had no choice but to stand up.
Even if I donate a million won out of my own pocket, the children who should have received it will still be left out.
“I wish it would grow 1cm every time I jump.”
—
[If today’s ‘Farmer-Asteria’ turns out good, thumbs up, lol!]
(NoName’s tail is flapping gif)
Why can’t she keep her tail still, lol!
Flap flap flap It’s so funny how it flapjacks around non-stop.
When she’s embarrassed, it’s like a fan blowing hard.
[Comments]
– From now on, I think Na-me should have a tail when streaming.
– Some people just can’t handle those things, lol. I’d be hard-pressed too if I had three parts.
– League is fun, but watching Na-me ramble is also a delight. You can see she’s quietly a bit crazy.
└ Genius is supposed to be a little crazy, right?
– I declare Luxembourg will make it to the round of 32, whoa!
—
[To Na-me, League is a place to rid herself of her innate wickedness.]
I’ve been pushing this theory lately that the total sum of good and evil in great figures is the same.
You may think, what nonsense is this? But hear me out.
– Gandhi: The epitome of nonviolent activism but demanded to sleep with his great-granddaughter.
– Mother Teresa: Dedicated her life to serving the poor but defended dictators and con men.
– Steve Jobs: Invented the smartphone but harshly insulted his subordinates and rejected his own daughter.
– NoName: Invented the Dream Stone but shamelessly trolled in League.
So, League players, you all need to sacrifice a little more…
Your suffering allows Na-me to remain a brilliant figure in reality.
[Comments]
– If our jungler did that, I would’ve raged and reported them for real.
– If Na-me trolled in reality, we wouldn’t be able to handle it, lol!
– If the price for the Dream Stone invention is trolling in League, then it’s a bargain.
– If Na-me ever fell into ethnic nationalism like Hitler, that day, a world war would break out.
– (This is slander, Kon.)
—
[A post from BaRIA’s official SNS that was accidentally uploaded then quickly deleted.]
(Happy 11th Birthday NoName.jpg)
It’s still not past midnight in Korean time, so I hurriedly deleted it, lol!
How many places are revving up for this anyway?
[Comments]
– (This is scary, Kon.)
– Let’s just declare it a global holiday, shall we?
– If they make it a public holiday, I’ll convert to Namessia that day.
– But it seems like the Korean government won’t congratulate us at all, so thumbs down, lol.
└ This one, lol!
– Must maintain good visuals at all costs…
