Scholars do not casually speak of others’ appearances.
Because they emphasize again and again that benevolence (仁) and righteousness (義) reside in the heart, and one should not judge a person by their looks but by their character and actions.
[Like a phoenix perched, holding its ground.]
[As clear as an orchid, as bright as the moon.]
But was Jo Gwang-jo an exception?
He, lamenting his own looks like a courtesan’s husband while engaging in tea-bagging.
Add to that his annoying personality, and even King Jungjong must have been seriously ticked off.
[NoName]
[Resonance: Dimension Cafe – Would you like to grab a coffee?]
[Broadcasting Time – 0:36:38]
[Number of Viewers – 592,205]
Jo Gwang-jo and NoName.
Masters from two different eras gathered in one place.
Both shared a small stature, striking appearance, strong convictions, and radical personalities—all remarkably similar.
-Just a brush and it’s a critical hit!
-Isn’t Jo Gwang-jo getting moe-fied by NoName?
-If these two begin a debate, it seems they’d go on all day, haha!
The one to break the tension was NoName.
“Your espresso macchiato is ready.”
“Leaf?”
-This costs too much. Whoa!
-Isn’t this a spoiler for the Gimyuhwa incident? Haha!
-How do you know? Are you making it up? Haha!
Jo Gwang-jo took a sip of the bitter coffee and raised his head with renewed determination.
In that era, there was a very peculiar legend circulating in Joseon.
It was said that the immortals who led the mountain lords occasionally descended and offered black water.
But when a remarkably youthful and cute girl suddenly appeared, Jo Gwang-jo’s thoughts grew even deeper.
“Since your complexion is rosy, you are not a ghost, and certainly not an immortal.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Then for what reason do you enchant the world and deceive the people?”
“What you will gain here depends on your own abilities, Mr. Jo Gwang-jo.”
“Hmmm.”
Not just ordinary.
Na-me grasped the lead of the conversation from the very beginning.
In response to such audacity, Jo Gwang-jo could only chuckle.
After sipping his coffee, he posed another question.
“I came looking for you, but surely you’ve been waiting for me, right?”
“Neither wholly right nor wholly wrong. There are plenty of geniuses in this land of Joseon, even without you. But those with conviction are quite rare.”
Na-me took a brief pause before continuing.
“I’m pretty satisfied.”
“I see. You are indeed from the future.”
He didn’t elaborate much on how he arrived at the correct conclusion.
Trickle trickle—
As Na-me filled her empty cup with coffee, she remarked.
“It’s a special time for the opinions of the ministers to matter. I bet even His Majesty feels the same way?”
With disasters frequently befalling the nation, Jungjong issued a command for the public to voice their opinions.
Public voice—any suggestions are welcome, meaning to present a petition to the king.
However, the Jo Gwang-jo of now was merely a student without any power at Sungkyunkwan, playing the role of a teaching assistant.
“I’ll teach you how to make fertilizer from air.”
“From air, fertilizer?”
“Write it down. Atomic theory.”
Thus began the work of converting those steeped in Confucianism into science.
Na-me, who expected a high-quality lecture broadcast.
And there was no guarantee that the process would be smooth.
“You foolish uncle, why don’t you understand…!”
“So theoretically, it makes sense, but according to Confucianism, it remains hard to accept.”
“What part?”
“That electrons interact—what in the world does that mean? Should I understand it like how the ‘yi’ and ‘qi’ influence each other in Confucianism?”
Unable to hold back, Na-me joined hands with Saetbyeol and began a traditional dance while explaining nitrogen’s triple bond.
“For a triple bond, shouldn’t there be three arms? Is it that when you count numbers, you actually start from three after one? How absurd!”
“Ughhh…! I’m human, I only have two arms!”
Na-me jumped in place, venting her frustrations.
Emergency!!!!
The fate of a non-skipper!
Jo Gwang-jo’s words are utterly ridiculous! Hahaha!
They’ve made him a personality wreck! Hahaha!
NoName’s mid-range overdrive! Whoa!
The provocation from NPCs was immensely effective!
“It’s unavoidable. To salvage from starvation, there’s no choice but to apply extreme measures.”
“Wait, what are you doing!”
The tiger nonchalantly sauntered over and pounced, biting Jo Gwang-jo on the back of the head.
In a life-threatening scenario, with the tiger’s hot breath and thick drool dripping onto his ear.
“Even when bitten by a tiger, if you keep your wits about you, you can survive. Now, let’s continue the class.”
This marked the birth of an exceptionally ruthless lesson that even King Yeongjo would later respect.
*
‘NPCs might get scared, but their learning efficiency doesn’t decrease, right?’
Taking advantage of a system bug, Na-me unabashedly revealed her tyrannical side.
With the theory of the atomic model firmly planted in his mind, Jo Gwang-jo issued a stern warning to NoName.
“If you cannot grasp the subtle principles of Confucianism, the nation’s foundation will shake. Without profound academic understanding, government will inevitably become decrepit.”
“Hmph, Confucianism is merely a tool for prohibiting tyranny and maintaining the system. That role is sufficient.”
Na-me’s determination flared.
Gasp! The switch is on!
Let’s conquer the world!
Why change the military tech tree when it hasn’t even been upgraded yet?
The Imjin War is waiting too!
Let’s go—let’s go!
‘Let’s quickly push through modernity and leap into the present!’
It was now time to reap the two seeds sown earlier.
In the naturally occurring Imjin War, Joseon needed almost no assistance from Ming.
-Wow, Jo In-sun’s outstanding achievements—hahaha!
-Jo In-sun is a water type!
-Watching Sun-shin’s dragon breath fills my chest with grandeur!
The viewers, already intoxicated by national pride, would find that the forthcoming content from Na-me approached lethal levels.
Gaining immense war reparations, Joseon expanded trade routes to India, China, Southeast Asia, and Europe while making the production of penicillin a national project, accumulating wealth globally.
By this time, vinyl houses and preservatives were developed and massive sums flowed in through the trade of spices, minerals, and ginseng.
By the early 17th century, Joseon, at the helm of the Dongyang Trade Company with a market cap reaching a quintillion won, was already witnessing the dawn of an industrial revolution.
Together with the Qing, they took down the Ming and gulped down one-third of the territory.
Laying railroads across the Korean Peninsula and continental Asia, Na-me infused a modern educational system into the infrastructure.
Suddenly, talents from around the world began flocking to Joseon.
By the mid-18th century, the highlight that viewers had longed for finally unfolded.
[King Yeongjo, the Ruler of Balance]
King Yeongjo installed telegraph lines and mail routes across the country based on Na-me’s advice.
Information spread rapidly across regions, and various industries in Joseon achieved remarkable growth.
Meanwhile, the world powers, feeling threatened by Joseon’s rapid advancement, rolled out various strategies to counter it.
Yet, as communication and magic evolved, it was only natural for the financial sector to flourish.
Nations that opposed immediately found themselves excluded from Joseon’s trade routes and struggled with financial crises.
[Ah, what a livable Joseon.]
[Isn’t this Mexico?]
[It’s Joseon Town. So it’s Joseon.]
By the early 19th century, the great migration of Koreans began.
Surrounded by the National Defense Force, Joseon had become a stagnant country without a future.
The growth of Joseon, with its population of 350 million, had finally hit a wall.
They branched out to Mexico, Southeast Asia, the Middle East, North Africa, and South America, spreading Joseon’s culture abroad.
Cities that uncharacteristically amassed excessive wealth within one nation began to grow dissatisfied with the tax and welfare systems and commenced their independence movements.
[You fool, we were originally one nation!]
[The little child inside me whispers, “I am Joseon.”]
The Joseon army did not intervene.
They merely annoyingly established the National Defense Force, building an impenetrable fortress.
In a world where tanks and fighter jets had not progressed, breaching the National Defense was nearly impossible.
It was the moment when the final barrier to modernization—the magic turbines, magic power plants, and semiconductors—were ready for development.
Now, girls who were adored as demigods.
A woman wearing a heavy headpiece knocked at the door to announce the establishment of the Empire of Korea.
[Queen Myeongseong, the Mother of Joseon]
[Politics – Political System – Democracy]
“What, what’s this?”
“Your iced americano is served, meow!”
-Oh wow!
-Hilarious timing to yank the rug out! Hahaha!
-Oh, now it’s not yours anymore~
-The Empire of Korea is just a three-day reign! Hahaha!
-Hello? I’m Democracy!
By the end of the 19th century, as democracy was enforced at the most perfect timing, the era of modern Joseon came to a close.
In 1899, theoretical wizards announced the technology of virtual reality, and the credits of the Dimension Cafe rolled up.
[Jeong Do-jeon – Cinnamon Honey Latte]
[Jo Gwang-jo – Espresso Macchiato]
[Yi Sun-sin – Green Tea Latte]
[Ryu Hyung-won – Affogato]
[King Yeongjo – Ginseng Coffee]
[Queen Myeongseong – Iced Americano]
[You have advanced civilization by 130 years and 4 months.]
[Dimension Cafe – END]
From here onwards, it was the realm of creation.
Like last year when Na-me showcased a cyberpunk Joseon, it could also transition into an etherpunk era reliant solely on mana.
“Sigh… Sadly, there’s no Dream Capsule. I thought I contributed to modernity in my own way.”
Na-me pouted, letting out a dissatisfied puff.
[NoName]
[Resonance: Dimension Cafe – Would you like to grab a coffee?]
[Broadcasting Time – 3:25:18]
[Number of Viewers – 681,449]
-What’s with the 130 years? Haha!
-You did it, Jo Gwang-jo…
-What in the world did you see from hundreds of years ahead, Jo-sensei?
-With one provocation, you turned Joseon into a superpower! Hahaha!
-If there’s any conscience, we should include Na-me among the greats.
-What’s this? The dimension cafe I knew was definitely a childish game!
-The storytelling is off the charts! Just Hahaha!
The Korean viewers, who had been infused with dopamine for three hours straight, erupted into applause.
-Where did the Joseon Empire go on the map?
-Give me back my Joseon, NoName!
-Seeing how small this land is now, why’s North Korea blocking it? Damn!
It was so bad that the current Republic of Korea felt constricted and pathetic.
But what stirred the pot even more was the chatroom of foreign viewers.
-NoName, please take a look at German history!
-Please make the Philippines a neutral country like Switzerland!
-Let’s try America, America!
└ America is already a superpower in reality!
└ Let’s dominate the world as a single-ethnic Indian!
-Become the Godfather of Argentina!
-Chaos! I can still do it even if I don’t know how to make coffee?
Viewers from around the world began to plead to have their nations chosen.
Na-me stuck out her short tongue at them and went “Be-ee—”
“There’s no great Joseon, but a delicious kimchi stew awaits me, so I think I’ll head off. That’ll be all for today’s broadcast!”
