A dog that doesn’t bark isn’t a dog at all.
Valpurgis’s unusual apology video was undoubtedly hiding some schemes even without much thought.
In the video they posted, a high-ranking official named Al-Zarqawi and 20 members wearing black hoods were standing side by side.
Of course, the ratio of likes to dislikes reached 1 to 20, with a flood of negative comments pouring in.
Some media and nationalist VTubers claimed that terrorists were scared of South Korea’s defense capabilities, but this was a long stretch of the truth.
What would these fanatics think about Korea when they’ve already headfirst crashed into the strongest nation in human history, the United States?
Looking at the examples of the Kingdom in my past life makes it easy to understand.
It seemed like they were quietly establishing a peace treaty between humans and demons, but behind the scenes, they had made thorough preparations to entrap me in a web of scheming.
[We love all children of the benevolent God equally. However, the slanders of the unbelievers are disturbing the world, and we will absolutely not tolerate those who threaten our peace.]
Valpurgis cleverly mixed in Quran teachings, blabbering as if they genuinely wished for world peace.
Of course, it was unlikely there would be a positive response.
However, if you look closely at the apology, it’s true that their response was excessive.
Islam does not treat children, women, and the elderly with any particular care.
The most extreme Islamic followers advocating equality is not something one hears every day; it should be regarded as a deep layer of absurdity.
I could feel their desire to avoid conflict with me as much as possible.
I didn’t know the reason.
To begin with, I did not want to understand, nor would I have any intention to understand in the future.
Ultimately, a 2-minute apology that could have been better left unsaid triggered my emotions, forcing me to shoot a video myself.
In any case, if they’re dangerous beings, maintaining some level of tension rather than idly waiting to be betrayed felt much safer.
“Hello, this is NoName.”
What is the most effective way to insult a religion?
Just mess with the God and leader they follow!
In my past life, it was as simple as barging into the Pope’s chamber and yanking out the few strands of hair he had left, but in the civilized 21st century, one must use 21st-century methods, right?
“I’m filming this video to express my gratitude for the many citizens who have worried about me. Currently, I’m focusing on recovering my health with the help of the excellent medical staff at the hospital, so I believe you can ease your concerns a little. With such kind people by my side, I feel truly blessed.”
In this life, I’ve miraculously met many wonderful people.
Pure and adorable friends—boys, girls, children—Professor Cheon, who always thinks of me first, and the countless connections I’ve made through broadcasting.
How long has it been since I’ve lived such a blessed life?
I did not want to lose this precious daily life to those mentally contaminated beings.
“I heard that the police have caught the perpetrator thanks to their hard work day and night. I will never forgive that person. But I will forget them for life. It’s too trivial to include the fact that they sent such a gift my way as part of my life. So I hope you can face justice where I can’t see you. I have so many happy days left to enjoy, and I don’t want to be trapped in such depressing thoughts.”
I slightly frowned and squinted my eyes.
I brought the camera close to my face, filling the screen.
“And Valpurgis, the fact that you tried to make a magical bomb to eliminate me was already revealed in the investigation—so why are you trying to back out now? Did Allah teach you that?”
Shooting from a slightly lower angle made my cheeks appear too pronounced, which I didn’t like, but it was still the best option.
Very, a little, quite irritating.
Alright, let’s go with this.
“And what’s with calling yourselves children of God? Did your boss sleep with Allah to give birth to me? Sorry, but I was born from my mother, okay? Of course, I’m female.”
Get angry.
And bark.
Keep barking until the whole world puts muzzles and leashes on your rabid dogs.
I could sacrifice my dignity for that.
But…
When it came to actually doing it, my mouth wouldn’t cooperate.
What does it matter? I’m eight years old.
I can say this because I know exactly how I’m being perceived across the world.
I clearly have the power to influence, yet conserving it doesn’t seem to match my temperament.
‘I am eight years old. I am eight years old. I am eight years old. I am eight years old. I am eight years old.’
Reciting a prayer one last time, I flashed a bright smile.
“Ha ha! You can’t even make a decent bomb, you amateurs! If you’re angry, come at me; I’ll gladly take you on! Scared?”
Even I thought it was disgusting, so I hastily pressed the stop button and threw the camera far across the bed.
“Phew…”
If Valpurgis truly had business with me, it would be much better to lure them to me directly rather than them disrupting my acquaintances.
I should have responded like this in my past life; a bitter regret lingered at the corner of my mouth as I licked my lips a few times.
I was absolutely not embarrassed by what I just did.
—
[NoName Official] [Subscribers: 2.84 million]
[Update on Bomb Terror/Letter to Valpurgis] [View Count: 12.85 million · 3 days ago]
[Real-time Best]
[Real-time NoName Update.realfact]
Miraculously surviving the magical bomb terror, Korean star NoName (how did he survive?!)
In a recent video, he made a shocking statement that garnered over 500,000 comments, causing a stir.
(Best Comment 1 Screenshot.jpg)
(Best Comment 2 Screenshot.jpg)
(Best Comment 3 Screenshot.jpg)
What on earth did he say to provoke such a strong reaction?
(Hyperlink: Update on Bomb Terror/Letter to Valpurgis – NoName Official)
Ah, right.
NoName asked the head of Valpurgis if they had a sexual relationship with Allah… (By the way, in Islamic countries, homosexuality leads to execution.)
Lastly, he even replied directly in the comments of the video, completing a perfect teabagging moment.
(NoName: This video was not made to belittle any world religions. By the way, I am a Buddhist too.)
After telling him to do whatever he wants, NoName is now facing terror and, on top of that, receiving threats… (Is this kid really eight years old?!)
His safety feels increasingly at risk.
—
[Comments]
-No, NoName didn’t say that, stop distorting it lol
└ The writer got the worst of it for real lol
└ How did you write it in such a believable way that it’s making people believe it?
└ It’s all NoName’s fault. People think he could say that, so they believe it.
-I’m really glad he’s aliveㅠㅠㅠㅠ If anything went wrong, the U.S. would have leveled Valpurgis.
└ It’s scary to think the U.S. would actually do that…
└ What are you saying? There are so many magical facilities in the Middle East; they wouldn’t be able to. It would set humanity back at least 300 years.
└ No, no, when it comes to business, Americans know how to handle it.
-If you’re a Valpurgis member listening to “You’re so ~ lame~” on repeat for over an hour, that’s a plus.
└ Hahaha
└ Valpurgis can’t stand NoName’s taunts lol
└ They must be grinning from ear to ear, watching.
-Seriously, it’s not even annoying; it’s just great. What’s with that?
└ Am I the only one who finds this annoying?
-Valpurgis’s character level is just terrible lol
└ Valpurgis? Hahaha
└ I’m definitely going to email them through my PDF and send it to NoName’s managers.
└ Hahaha, if only I had received character education through gaming back in the day, it would have been legendary!
—
An emergency alert has been issued in Korea.
It looked like Valpurgis not leaving any comments on my video had actually made things more burdensome.
It was a bit unfortunate for the soldiers who had planned their vacations, but the entire military went on leave lockdown for a week.
The Defense Ministry couldn’t be blamed for overreacting; Valpurgis’s forces suddenly showed signs of mobilization.
Finally, they seemed to be barking a little.
Not trying to bite is a good sign.
Instead, I gifted subscriptions for a thousand people with my own money to my viewers in My Room, sincerely comforting them.
The commotion was more prominent in Europe.
Since countries that prioritize ‘freedom of expression’ produced a plethora of provocative caricatures, the famous French weekly magazine Charlie Hebdo kicked things off by printing a nude sexual encounter of the unidentifiable head of Valpurgis and “God.”
Because of this trolling, Muslims ended up harboring more resentment toward Western Europe than Korea.
This video was uploaded suddenly without going through my editor Seo Maru, so I received a lot of concern from my acquaintances.
But it was unnecessary worry. I’m not even in Korea right now.
“Name student.”
“…”
“Na-me-ya?”
“Yes?”
“Is the academy treating you well?”
“Did Professor Chun contact you or something?”
“No? I just asked out of curiosity.”
“Yeah, it’s fine here, Principal.”
While not leaving Korea, I was in a safer place than Korea.
It was none other than the grounds of the Sephiron Academy, where extraterritoriality applied.
“Principal, but seriously, Professor Chun hasn’t contacted me at all?”
“If you’re worried, why don’t you contact Na-me first?”
“No, he’s probably busy with work.”
I had uploaded the video without a hint of fear because I had been on the run ever since my big fight with Professor Chun.
“It’s strange; he should be anxious by now.”
How could someone be so heartless?
Sitting quietly on one side of the principal’s office, I flipped through a Naruto comic book that didn’t catch my eye, trying my best to act nonchalant.
